Disclaimer: I'm not Cassandra Clare thus own none of her characters.

"Warning": This one (and the next) is specially rated 'H' for Heartbreak as I said in the summary… Brace Yourselves.

Keen were my senses, but are no more. I cannot teLL reality, from dreaMs at all. Everyone's disaPpearing Leaving mE all Alone… Save mE…

CHAPTER 16 - Despair

…

ALEC

Hours later, Alec opened his eyes slowly noticing he didn't feel pain anymore. "What happened?" he muttered to no one in particular. He remembered seeing Magnus at the tunnel; 'Was that a Dream?' He had looked at him, worried, with so much love in his beautiful eyes… 'Definitely a dream…' he thought biting back tears as he remember the Warlock looking down on him coldly again, afterwards. He slowly sat up to take in his surroundings in order to distract himself. The room was unknown, thought vaguely familiar. He was lying on a bed with orange covers and he wondered again what really happened and how he got in that room. He faintly remembered barely killing a demon that had really roughed him up, and then giving up, unable to move anymore, laying in a pool of water and blood and waiting to die, his body finally as broken as his soul. But then he had seen him… These beloved eyes looking at him with so much love, it simply couldn't have been real… Never again would Magnus look at him like that… Or at all… So there was only one conclusion he could come to. "Am I dead?" he asked the Darkness not expecting an answer.

Just then, the one person he never believed, but constantly wished, he'd see, materialised from the shadows walking slowly towards him. His heart lurched at seeing the Warlock, but when he came closer, and Alec could make out the expression on his face, he felt it stop. There was no love in the cat eyes that stared at him; he only looked at Alec like he was a bug that crawled in his bed, annoyed and disgusted. "I see you woke up." He said to the frozen Nephilim with a voice colder than ice. The boy felt tears pooling in his eyes. 'So it was a dream… He really hates me…'

"I… I'm sorry…" he managed to piece out, though barely, cause the pain in his heart was overwhelming him once more. Magnus was still staring at him with cold indifference that stabbed him like a knife and he found it progressively harder to breathe. The Warlock raised an eyebrow. "Sorry?" he said in a silky voice laced with poison. "What for? Lightwood?" He gasped at the hate and irony with which Magnus spat his name but he just ruthlessly went on, ignoring Alec. "For being stupid and almost dying, inconveniencing me to heal you once more? For Failing to disappear from my sight for good, and leave me alone as I asked?" He punctuated his words, twisting the knife in Alec's wounds, who was crying silent tears unable to stop, and as the Warlock paused for a moment, dropped his head and whispered in a broken voice "Yes…"

But Magnus wasn't done yet. "Or?!" he said more aggressively. The boy's head shot up to look at him, and like a scared animal mesmerized by the headlights of a car about to end its life, was drawn once more to those beautiful eyes that now shone with rage. "Are you sorry for betraying me?" he finished his sentence, hissing the world 'betrayed', his voice seething with hate. A sob left the boy's chest and he hid his face in his hands "I…I…I didn't… I wouldn't… Never meant…" "Save it!" Magnus shouted, effectively silencing the Nephilim who looked at him terrified. "I don't care for your petty excuses, or in fact, for anything you have to say! All I care for, is for you to recover enough to be able to leave my sight so I never have to deal with your sorry excuse of a–" Alec wasn't listening anymore. His whole body shook as he tried to suppress his sobs in vain, and he could see nothing through his tears. His mind went blank in the mid of Magnus' onslaught and now there was only one question in it. He spoke before he was aware of it.

"Then why? Why didn't you let me die?" Deep down he hoped that Magnus could still say he did care, even a little for him, so he saved him. The Warlock's next words crushed to a powder the pieces of his already shattered heart. "Your parents paid me of course. What did you think? That I would save you on my own free will? Because I love you, oh so much?" He said sarcastically. "Well, no. I wanted to let you die, you deserved to, after all. But I had no choice. They paid me very handsomely to save their bloodline. They had no choice either. With the son they were proud of, dead, they have to keep you alive, at all costs. Tough work if you ask me. You seem to be so useless, a lesser demon could kill you." he said, as a side note, adding insult to injury, as if the pain he caused wasn't enough on its own. And when he spoke again, it got worse. "Don't think for a second that they care about you though. They did ask me if I could cast a spell to trade your life for his, but unfortunately I couldn't. I'd even do that one for free… Their only consolation was, as they told me, that now that you owe them your life, they hope they can force you to move out of this 'stupid phase' and marry a proper Shadowhunter girl and be something different from the disappointment you've been all your life."

"No… It can't be… Please…" 'I don't want to believe Our Love was a lie…' "Please tell me you're lying… Please… Mag–" "Don't use my name so casually Shadowhunter. Nothing is a lie. I'm not the lying one. Wake up! Noone ever loved you! How could they? All you've ever been was second at best. A disappointment! Can you hear me? Wake up!" Sobs overtook his body and he gasped fighting to breathe. The pain was too much. "Please…" He whimpered between strangled breaths "I'm sorry… Sorry… Please… Sorry… Let… me… Die… Please…" All he could hear now was Magnus voice calling him to open his eyes. His… beautiful? Blue… eyes? 'What?' surprise pulled him roughly out of the gasping fit and he opened his eyes. Hovering above him, he saw Magnus again. Scared, he braced for more hurt, but that Magnus looked totally different. There were dark shadows below his cat eyes and he looked exhausted, but relieved to see him. What surprised and worried Alec the most though, were the tears falling from the Warlock's eyes which looked at him full of… Love?! 'Relief? Love?' he wondered shocked, and without even realising reached to wipe his beloved's tears away, before reaching a conclusion "Ah… I'm hallucinating again…" he whispered before oblivion claimed him, his hand falling limply at his side…

…

I'm really sorry! Honestly, I am… I hated to do that, I really love (no, not love, adore!) Alec, but I had to.

I would appreciate it if you told me what you think… :/ Did you like it? Was it very bad? I'm tempted to leave you on a horrid cliffhanger on the next chapter, so help me please. xD

P.S: Ah, there was a hidden message, did you see it? Was it too obvious? Or not?