I'm not upset over Shaun. Not really. I'm upset about what he represents. Watching him dump those boxes and drive off reminded me of all my failures and shortcomings: that and the knowledge that we both screwed up our relationship so badly that in the end he didn't give a flying rat's ass that I was lying unconscious in a hospital bed. Those empty boxes are a metaphor for our marriage. I've always believed that the opposite of love is not hate, but apathy. It's when you feel nothing for a person at all, good or bad. That's when you know it's really over: when you realize all you have left are empty boxes. Shaun and I are there, and I don't ever want to feel this way again.

"So, you wanna talk about it?"

Walt and I sat snuggled into each other on the couch until my stomach started growling and he insisted I eat. Now we're sitting at the table enjoying today's usual. Dorothy doesn't have any pasta dishes on her regular menu, so she must have been feeling sorry for me because she sent the perfect Italian comfort food: fettucine alfredo. She paired it with beef medallions covered in a balsamic vinegar sauce and a tossed salad. Walt's pretty much a meat and potatoes kind of a guy, so I know she put the steak in for him.

"Not really."

I look up. His head is cocked to the side in typical fashion and his eyes bore into mine with a palpable intensity.

"You sure?"

I look back at my plate.

He sighs and sets his fork down. When I lift my eyes back up he's leaning forward on his elbows, rubbing his hands together.

"Will you talk about it...please? I, uh, need to know that we're okay."

"Why wouldn't we be okay, Walt?" At this point I avoid eye contact all together. I've cried enough in front of him today. I continue eating until he speaks again.

"Are you leaving Durant?"

Now I have to look at him, "What? No, I'm not leaving. Why would you ask that?"

"The boxes."

Right. "Those are Shaun's. He came by and dropped them off today. He told me I could pack up his shit and someone from the office will come over to pick it all up."

"He expects you to pack up his things?"

"Well, he didn't when he first got here, but, then he got angry."

We eat in silence for a few more minutes but I can tell Walt has more to say.

"What'd he get angry about?"

What does Shaun not get angry about when it comes to you, Walt? "The fact that you had a key to the house."

"You gave that key to Cady, not me."

"I know that and you know that but Shaun doesn't. Cady told me she was going to give it to you when she went to work. When he came in the house I thought it was you and I called out from the other room. He accused me of giving you a key a long time ago, said he didn't want to interrupt our plans for tonight."

"Uh huh."

"I assured him there was nothing to interrupt but the damage had been done. Then he told me Henry had called him when I was in the hospital. He said you called him too."

"I did."

"So, you knew about the divorce before I woke up."

"Yep."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"Well, I didn't think it was my place to bring it up. I thought if you wanted me to know, that you would have told me. You've had several opportunities. But, you kept it to yourself. I figured you had your reasons."

"I didn't want to burden you with my problems. You had enough going on with Henry's case and Branch's melt down. I didn't think you needed anything else on your plate. Anyway, it was easier to think Shaun didn't come back because he didn't know what had happened. In reality, he didn't come back because he just didn't care."

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"Not telling you Shaun knew...Not telling you I knew."

"I'm sure you meant well, Walt. Doesn't matter anyway. It sure as hell doesn't change anything."

"You know, uh, leaving Wyoming...it wouldn't be the strangest thing for someone in your position to do. You could go back east."

This time he's the one keeping his eyes on his food. I set my fork down as my heart rate starts to rise and my hands begin to tremble. I was right. I'd hoped I wasn't, but I was. This confirms it. I need to make this as quick and painless as possible so I get up and walk over to look out the window, keeping my back to Walt, "You think I should leave and move back closer to my family...Okay." I wrap my arms around myself in attempt to settle my spent nerves and emotions.

"Vic."

I hear his chair push out as he stands but I refuse to turn and look at him. He hear him walk closer and feel his hands on my shoulders just before I pull away, "No. I don't want anymore of your pity."

"What?"

"Your obligation to me ends here. I can do just fine on my own. I don't need you to be here because you feel sorry for me."

"You think I'm here because I feel sorry for you."

"That and you feel responsible for my injuries. I'm your..." I take a deep breath, "employee and you believe you caused me harm. Why else would you be here?"

There it is. I've given him a feasible explanation for his recent actions. I've let him off the hook. Unfortunately it doesn't seem like he's gotten the memo.

"Is that really what you think? That I'm just checking in on an employee?"

I don't answer.

"So what's your explanation for what happened last night?" There's an edge to his voice, " You do remember last night?"

"I do." I remember how it felt to be in your arms. I remember the feel of your lips on mine. I remember you walking down the stairs and out the door. There's nothing I'd like to say to you about any of that right now.

"So, that's it. That's all you're going to say?"

Okay, Vic. Rip off the band aid. I turn to face him completely and square my shoulders, "I owe you an apology, Walt. I was out of line asking you to stay with me last night. It was inappropriate. I know you only kissed me because you felt bad about everything that had happened and you didn't want me getting all worked up and upset right now."

Walt narrows his eyes, "That's a hell of a thing for you to say to me."

This isn't the relief I was expecting from him. Doesn't he know it's good that I don't think last night meant anything to him? It means I don't expect anything more, no matter how badly I may want it.

"Do you remember that night at the Sublett's house? I confessed to you that simply calling another woman on the phone felt like cheating on my wife. And now that I've dated one woman since then, you think I've come so far that I just go around kissing anyone who stands still long enough for me to get my hands on them?"

This isn't turning out the way I had planned. I'm the one who should be angry here, not him. I'm the one who was misled.

"What's really going on, Vic?"

"There's nothing going on with me, Walt. But there obviously is with you."

Walt sighs, "And what do you believe is going on with me?"

"You tell me. I mean, is it a new development that you want me to leave Wyoming or have you been trying to come up with a way to tell me for a while? I'd think it's not the best timing with you being down a deputy right now but I'm going to be unable to work for a few weeks so I guess there's no point in waiting, right? I just need to pack and go back to where I came from."

"Don't you turn this around on me, Vic. I never said any of that.

"Sounded like it to me."

"No, Vic. I never said I wanted you to leave Wyoming. I said it wouldn't be strange for you to leave now that your husband, the whole reason you came here in the first place, is gone. And forget what you think you heard from me just now. What about last night? Did you hear anything I said to you then?

"You said you pay more attention to me that you should...and that you weren't going to stay."

This is not the first time being reserved in speech has led to a misunderstanding with an important woman in my life. Martha quickly learned to read between the lines. She had to in order to ensure our relationship's survival. I thought Vic had learned that too, but she seems to have missed the cues yesterday about how I feel. Based on her current emotional state, my guess is she knows full well how she feels. I think I've been going about this all wrong. I've had so much running around in my head about Vic lately that in a way it feels like she already knows what I am thinking and feeling as well as I do. However, that idea is misguided and it certainly doesn't match up with reality. How could it? Still, I don't know how she so completely missed everything that was going on between us last night. And, after all we have been through together, I don't understand why she's behaving this way.

"Vic, why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?"

"Picking a fight with me. What do you hope to gain?"

"I'm not picking a fight, and you're changing the subject."

She starts to leave the kitchen but I catch her by the arm, "Vic, please...Talk to me."

I feel kind of bad using her own line on her, but it worked on me once. Maybe it will work now.

"Do you remember what I told you about what bad girls and good girls have in common?"

How could I ever forget? That was the night I most definitely would have been willing to cross the line if she had asked me to, "You said they all want the same thing."

She nods, as a single tear rolls down her cheek, "I know I come off as cold and tough, maybe even less than feminine sometimes, but deep down I'm still a girl. I had dreams of marrying the perfect guy and having the perfect life, with someone who loves me for who I am. Someone who doesn't take advantage of my personality like Gorski did. Someone who doesn't want to change me like Shaun did."

I nod, waiting for her to go on.

"I can't do it again, Walt. I don't think I have it in me. I can face down physical danger and psycho criminals with little effect on my emotions, but...I can't handle another ruined relationship...especially one with you."

"Our relationship isn't going to be ruined."

"There's disaster written all over this, Walt. If you're honest, you'll admit you see it too. Isn't that why you left last night? You knew it would be a mistake to stay."

"It would have been a mistake to stay, but not in the way you're thinking. It took every bit of will power I had not to take you to bed last night. But, you're still married and you're recovering from a pretty serious head injury. I'm trying to be smart about this so we don't get caught up in a moment and then come to regret our actions later on."

"I am a little more impulsive than you are."

I smile, "Yes, you are...Vic, when I said I pay too much attention to you...it was only because you belong to someone else, or, at least you did. It hasn't been my right to think about you so much, to watch you like I do and to feel the way I feel...I'd like to think I'm a little smarter than Ed and Shaun. I have no intention of taking advantage of you. I have no need to try to change you. I think you're perfect for me just the way you are."

"So, you didn't kiss me because you felt sorry for me?"

I pull her in close and wrap my arms around her waist, "I kissed you because I felt something for you all right...but it wasn't pity. It was affection...and desire. I'm all yours, if you'll have me, Vic." I don't have to search her eyes very long to see the answer I'm looking for. I lower my head to hers but our repeat performance of last's night's kiss is interrupted by the sound of the doorbell. I reluctantly pull back, "It's probably Cady."

She nods, "Yeah."

"Lest you have any doubt, Vic...I'm all in here. We can make this work."

I kiss her softly on the forehead and move into the hallway. I swing open the front door and find myself looking at a woman whom I have never met.

"Hello! You must be Sheriff Longmire."

There's no denying the resemblance, especially in the eyes, "Mrs. Moretti?"

"Yes. Please, call me Lena."

"Okay, Lena. Won't you come in?"

I turn to see Vic standing there with a shocked look on her face, "Vic, you have company."

I did not want them to fight this chapter but Vic just kept at it and my unwillingness to let her tear into Walt was keeping me from making any kind of progress. So, I gave in and went with it. I didn't want to break the closeness they have been having, but I think it worked out okay in the end. Hope you think so too. Of course, it didn't work out as well as it could have if Mama Moretti hadn't shown up ;)