Disclaimer: I'm not Cassandra Clare thus own none of her characters.
Note to Guest, AKA Annabeth: Thank you very much! I'm very glad you liked it! ^_^ Also yeah, teaser is definitely the right word! XD Can't wait for October 20th!
[On a positive note, with Malec week coming up in August 1st, Cassie may give us more Malec snippets!]
[ Also in case more guests comment later, I won't be able to answer, so thank you in advance! If the review is negative, still, thank you and I promise to improve whatever you hate! ]
Before the story...
Here goes! I'm so sorry! Truth is, I have no real excuse apart from resting too easy since the story was at a plausible ending (as I mentioned before) and getting carried away, forgetting to write. The other truth is I wanted to revamp the whole thing, but I didn't seem to be getting down to do it, {And now with Malec week coming up, I probably won't have time} so I decided to post it now and maybe revamp later... Once again, I'm so, so sorry... I hope your waiting won't be in vain... (Also, sorry for the flashback, I had this idea and liked it, but it was too long to edit a previous chapter and add it in it so I integrated it here)
EXTREMELY SORRY FOR THE LONG RANT!
CHAPTER 23 - Epilogue
They were lying peacefully in each others arms for some time when Magnus spoke; "We should pay Nie a visit sometime… I need to thank her, for saving both our lives, and I'm sure she'd like to see you again too."
Alec nodded closing his eyes "I'd like to thank her too…" Thinking back, her face came to his mind, and along with it, a memory of the previous day at 'Blood Moon'.
Flashback
{Niennor smiled once more, but even when she did, there was a carefully concealed sadness behind her eyes. Alec realised he couldn't begin to imagine how much hurt, accumulated over the cruel years, could lie behind her cheerful façade.
With another stab of pain, he realised Magnus was the same and that's why he didn't want to talk about his past… It was too painful… Getting hurt by so many things over the endless years, by so many people. And now Alec had become one of them. Someone who had hurt him. 'I was supposed to protect him… The last thing I wanted was to hurt him…' he had thought barely holding back his tears 'But all I did in the end was cause him more pain… I am a monster…'
Even though he was in agony, he wasn't selfish enough to claim his grief was the greatest. What was the point after all? To compete over who suffered the most? He knew his love for Magnus was extraordinary, but that didn't mean other people hadn't loved deeply and lost too.
And the cruel truth was that Warlocks were always on the losing side. There wasn't anything worse in the world, no torture greater, than to see your loved ones dying.
Regardless of everything that happened, he was lucky. Magnus may have left him, may even hate him now but in the end, Niennor was right. At least he was still alive. Hurt, yeah, but safe and sound. That was all that mattered. He wouldn't stay hurt for long anyway… 'Not over something so… trivial…'
Maybe it was for the best. If Magnus loved him, he would have been forced to endure his death one day, maybe too soon. So… 'Yeah,' he decided. 'It was for the best…' That way, at least he wouldn't hurt the Warlock when dying. If Niennor helped him, by the time he'd die, no one would care. 'But still… My pain won't go… Even if I justify everything and try to convince myself it's for the best… My soul still feels torn in two and will never be whole again… My whole being screams, that the only best thing for me is to be with him…"}
Flashback END
'Seems I'll end up hurting him again after all…' He thought with mixed feelings, returning to the present. "Alec?" Magnus asked noticing him spacing out "What's wrong?" "It's funny… Yesterday I thought I'd never smile ever again…" Alec smiled "But… I'm sorry…" he added before the Warlock could respond, frowning again. "What for sweetheart?" Magnus asked pushing the edges of the boy's lips up to make him smile again, making him giggle instead. When Alec sobered up he said, answering his question "When you left, I thought, that at least when I die you wouldn't be hurt… But now…" he trailed off and Magnus smiled sadly at him, playing with his hair "You silly Nephilim… That didn't matter… I would still be devastated…" "No you wouldn't be… I was about to make sure of it…" "Only you, could worry about the well-being of others even when facing death yourself." Magnus smiled lovingly at him; "My adorable selfless Angel…" "I'm not-" He tried protesting but Magnus cut him off "Tell you what then. Make sure not to die on me and hurt me, okay? Who knows… I may even die first… Almost did once, already." "Mag- !" Magnus leaned down in a swift motion and kissed him, effectively silencing him once more. "Hush…" he whispered against his lips as the boy stared up at him, dazed by the unexpected kiss. "No more of that Angel… Not now…" he went on, hugging him closer "For now… Let's just stay like that a little longer… Let me hold you… These two days were Hell without you… I just want to feel your presence…" Alec smiled again, closing his eyes "I love you too…"
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"Angel?" Magnus whispered softly a little while after "Are you sleeping?" Alec slowly opened his blue eyes and looked at him. Magnus felt a surge of happiness seeing the Nephilim's eyes looking alive again. Alec smiled sweetly at him and sighed contently closing his eyes again "No… Just enjoying the feeling…" he answered snuggling closer to the Warlock. Magnus squeezed him, kissing the top of his head and said "Can I ask you something?" He needed to know, the memory kept repeating in his head… "Sure." he smiled again, peacefully, eyes closed.
"Why were you surprised when you thought you were in Heaven?" There was a short silence and then Alec answered, opening his eyes but not meeting his lover's gaze. "Because I deserved Hell…" Magnus' eyes widened. "But then I saw you…" he added, smiling sweetly at him "And I knew, I somehow made it in Heaven, or else, why would you be there?" "You thought that? After all I did to you?" Alec looked at him like he was stupid "Of course I did. I love you." he answered matter-of-factly, without losing a beat, his blue eyes sincere.
"In that fateful moment when the Demon was about to finish me off, I knew there was no hope. And yet I couldn't bring myself to feel the fear I should… That moment, I had time to form only one coherent thought… And all I thought about was you. All I could think was that I would never see you again if I died… So I fought harder… But when I couldn't fight anymore, all I wished for was your forgiveness… And then the Darkness took me. I was floating in the void when I felt your presence again… And thinking I was dead opened my eyes and saw you..." Alec gently ran his fingers over Magnus' cheekbones and the Warlock leaned into his touch sighing happily. "When I saw you…" the Nephilim went on, "The excruciating pain I felt, just vanished." Magnus opened his eyes and stared at him 'So that's why…' he thought, remembering Alec's words that had scared him so much before. {"It doesn't hurt anymore…"}
The boy smiled sadly, "Even if you were to kill me, to literally rip my heart from my chest and tear at it, I'd never stop loving you or not wish to be with you…" He said answering the Warlock's previous question again. Magnus had buried his face in his hands. "And I did that, didn't I?" he said in a broken voice, reading behind the boy's disguised words. "Not literally, but I did do that to you…" The younger boy hugged him close "Shh… We're going to be okay… Yes, it was painful, and I thought it was Hell, but now I know what real Hell is like, and it doesn't compare…" "Real Hell?" asked Magnus. Bringing the memory to the surface, Alec flinched and started shaking. "When… when you… left… I thought nothing could hurt more… but I was wrong. I… I saw… saw you die…" he cried "and I couldn't take it… that was really too much… that was True Hell…" "I'm so sorry my Angel…" Magnus whispered in his hair, holding him closer "What can I do to make it better?" he asked pained.
In response, Alec looked up at him, his blue shining with tears which Magnus reached out to wipe away gently. Alec threw his arms around his lover's neck and pulled him close kissing him breathlessly, and the surprised Warlock responded to the kiss. When they had to be separated to breathe, the Nephilim whispered against his lips; "Just be here… Just be safe… Just hold me… Hold me so tight that all the broken pieces of my soul will stick back together… And I'll do the same for you… Don't… don't ever leave me alone again… Please…" "Never… Never again… No matter what." Magnus whispered back ferociously, hugging the boy tightly.
THE END
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That last part was based on this quote by anonymous: "One day someone is going to hug you so tight that all of your broken pieces will stick back together"
FINAL NOTE: Thank you very, very much for bearing with me and reading it until the end! I really, really hope it wasn't a waste of time for you, and I'm sincerely, very, very sorry if it was! Once again I'm sorry for annoying you with all that notes and I hope you have a great day! ^_^
Thank you!
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P.S: Did you get my secret messages in chapters? They were related to the chapters' content and could be found in:
Ch.16 Beginning:
Keen were my senses, but are no more. I cannot teLL reality, from dreaMs at all. Everyone's disaPpearing Leaving mE all Alone… Save mE…
Ch.17 (near the end):
"How am i supposEd to face this wretched worLd aLone?" &
"No… I'll Give wHaTever you ask of Me… just pleAse, stay heRe with mE…"
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[The secret is in the Uppercase letters.]