"Hiroshi-san?" The voice was soft and somehow urgent at the same time.
Hiroshi spun around in his desk chair, his phone to his ear, and raised his eyebrows. Tetsu was leaning in the doorway to the office, fingers gripping the jamb to hold himself up. He was pale and panting as if he had just run a long distance, but his eyes were clear and his gaze was steady.
Hiroshi turned the phone against his shoulder to block the speaker. "Tetsu-chan? You're up!"
Tetsu nodded, only a little shakily. "I'm feeling better."
"Josh, I'll have to call you back," Hiroshi said into the phone in English. He ended the call and set the phone on the desk, then stood up and went to Tetsu. "Why don't you sit down before you fall down, Tetsu-chan?" He put an arm around his shoulders and gently turned him back the way he had come.
Tetsu let himself be guided back to the main room, leaning on Hiroshi almost as heavily as he'd leaned on the doorway. Hiroshi couldn't help wrapping a hand around his forehead to check his temperature, even though he already knew that the fever had broken and passed. He'd checked the sleeping Tetsu just twenty minutes ago, before he reluctantly retired to the office to try to get some work done, and he'd been normal then. Tetsu was still normal now, though obviously weakened by his long illness.
"I want...to talk to you..." Tetsu said as Hiroshi led him past the futon and blankets abandoned on the floor of the main room, back into the corner of the room where a sofa stood against the wall. Tetsu halted, blinking, when he saw the new furnishings. "I don't...remember this."
"Ah, yes, we've done some rearranging while you were sick," Hiroshi said. He lowered Tetsu down to sit in a corner of the sofa, then went to fetch a blanket from the floor and brought it back to wrap around him. "I bought this sofa and that entertainment center you see there. Did you know that Taiga never even bothered to buy a TV with the household budget I left him last year? He felt like the laptop was enough for anything he wanted to watch. But that's a little inconvenient for three people, so I had to step in and make some decisions. We can't leave this place looking like a bachelor pad when a family is living here now."
"Oh." Tetsu settled down into the cushions, still staring around with wide eyes. "Things are...changing."
"Yes." Hiroshi watched him carefully. Tetsu still seemed a little dazed, but he was much more coherent and composed than he'd been since...well, since before Hiroshi had found him in Maji Burger. It was like meeting the boy for the first time all over again, and the thought made a warm burst of happiness rise in Hiroshi's chest, spilling out in a smile. "Ah, I'll get you some tea, all right? Don't go anywhere."
Tetsu blinked, his face blank, then relaxed abruptly. His head bowed and a small grin was almost hidden against the blanket he pulled up to his shoulders. "I won't go anywhere. I want to talk to you."
"So you said."
Hiroshi hustled into the kitchen and found that Taiga had already anticipated his need, a kettle set on to boil, tea and utensils laid out on the counter. "I'll bring out the food when it's ready," Taiga said quietly.
"What are you making?"
"Rice, grilled fish, steamed vegetables."
Simple food to ease Tetsu back into eating regularly again. Hiroshi grinned and ruffled Taiga's hair. "You are very wise, Tiger Cub. I'm sorry you had to live alone for so long, but I'm glad that it turned you into such an excellent chef."
"You're only saying that because you don't want to cook." Taiga half-heartedly shoved Hiroshi's hand away, grinning bashfully at the praise. The kettle started to boil, so Hiroshi took it off the heat and prepared the tea.
He took a tray out to the main room to find Tetsu snuggled down into his corner of the sofa, half-asleep. Hiroshi didn't want to disturb him, but he also couldn't forget the urgency in his voice when he appeared in the office doorway. Tetsu had woken from his first deep sleep since he fell sick, and instead of resting a while longer or getting something to drink or any of the other things that would have made sense, he'd immediately searched for Hiroshi. Whatever he wanted to talk about must be very important to him.
Hiroshi set the tray on the end table and poured cups of tea for himself and Tetsu, then sat on the sofa next to him. Tetsu pushed the blanket down to his lap and gratefully accepted the cup Hiroshi set in his hands. Hiroshi held on for a moment to make sure Tetsu's grip would be steady and firm. It was. Though he needed more recovery time, Tetsu was on his way to regaining his strength.
Hiroshi tucked his feet under his knees and sipped his own tea. "Now, what did you want to talk about?"
Tetsu lowered his cup into lap and stared down at it, his cheeks heating up. "This...it may be presumptuous..."
Hiroshi shook his head. "Nothing you could want to ask me about will be presumptuous. You can approach me with anything. Please tell me what's on your mind."
Tetsu raised a hand and rubbed it over his forehead, as if he could smooth out his rumpled thoughts with physical force. "I know I've been very sick. There are things I can't remember very well, or at all. But I think you said… No, I know you did, because it was important, so I made it stick in my mind… You said that we would talk about it again when I was well." He lifted his head and met Hiroshi's gaze frankly, his eyes wide and unafraid. "I'm well now. My mind is clear. And I still want you to adopt me."
"Ah." Hiroshi nodded slowly to show that he understood. He was amazed that Tetsu remembered that conversation with such clarity. It still frightened Hiroshi to remember how sick the boy had been in that moment, how he had struggled for coherence and comprehension. Hiroshi had maintained a strong front for his sons, declaring confidently that it was all no big deal and Tetsu would be fine as soon as he got some medicine, but inside he had been just as terrified as Taiga. He had envied Taiga's freedom to express his anxiety with endless pacing and nervous gestures. All Hiroshi had been able to do was sit there, holding Tetsu against his chest, and do his best to project an image of calm he did not feel at all.
The blank expression did not serve him well now, though. Tetsu blinked suddenly, wavering, faltering. "You did... You did mean it, didn't you? You...you don't... You didn't change your mind?"
"No!" Hiroshi startled at the thought and almost spilled his tea. He stilled his hands just in time, then carefully turned and set the tea on the end table where it would be safe. He turned back to Tetsu and wrapped his hands around his shoulders. "I meant it. I haven't changed my mind. You are already part of our family, Tetsu-chan, and that will never change. I think of you as my son already, no matter what a piece of paper may say. You are mine as firmly and as permanently as Taiga is, and I would never let either of you go."
Tetsu relaxed, his face opening up into a sweet smile. "I...thank you. I'm glad..." He paused, frowning again. "But then... Why did you want to wait to talk about it later? If you want me to your son, if you already think of me as one, then why haven't you already made it formal? I know I've been sick for several days. You had time."
Hiroshi squeezed his shoulders, then released him and sat back, still carefully watching his face. "My wishes aren't the only ones that matter, Tetsu-chan. I couldn't pursue it until I was sure of what you want. We never really had a chance to talk about it, not in detail. It's a big decision, and I would never do something like that for you without your consent. Your unfevered, completely informed consent."
"I see." Tetsu nodded thoughtfully, his eyes fluttering closed for a second. "But I do consent. I told you then and I'm saying it again now. I want...I want that piece of paper you were talking about to have the right words on it. I want to be your son in name as well as in practice."
"All right."
Hiroshi said nothing for a moment. He had no doubt that Tetsu was sincere. But he needed to make sure that this wasn't just because the boy was afraid that his father would be able to steal him away if they didn't take this drastic step. That had been the original idea, after all—he would adopt Tetsu to keep him safe, to remove his father from the equation. Because Saeki was an excellent lawyer and the blackmail had somehow gone flawlessly despite the lack of preparation, that was no longer an issue.
He didn't want something this important to have its roots in fear. That was no foundation for any relationship, let alone one that Hiroshi intended to continue for the rest of their lives. "All right," he said again. "But let me show you something first." He stood up from the sofa, and moved toward the office again. "I'll be right back."
Tetsu blinked at him in confusion, but nodded easily enough. Hiroshi returned in under a minute. He gently took the teacup from Tetsu and set the custody agreement in his hands in its place. The document was a little worse for wear, having ridden around in Hiroshi's pocket for many hours before he'd been able to drop it off at home. But it was legible, and it was legal, and it was one of the best things Hiroshi had ever read, bar none.
Tetsu squinted his eyes at it, then looked to Hiroshi for an explanation. Hiroshi smiled. "Some of the language might be a little dense, but Taiga told me that you like to read, so I'm sure you'll be able to understand it just fine. That's the document that your father and I signed. I want you to understand what it says, to know it as well as you know your own hand."
Tetsu stared at the paper as if he could absorb it through his eyes. "And what is that? What does it say?"
"It says that I have custody of you. It is a contractual agreement. It is binding. It cannot be dissolved without mutual agreement, and I assure you that I will never agree to that. It says that your father will not be able to take custody of you again. I have the duty...the right, as I prefer to phrase it...to take care of your day to day needs, to live with you and guide you as a parent guides his child. This contract is iron-clad, Tetsu-chan. I want you to understand that."
Hiroshi could see how Tetsu's grip on the paper changed. He went from holding it like it was just another document to holding it like it was something precious, something to be treasured. It was the way Hiroshi held it, too.
The boy stared at the paper for a moment longer, not reading it, just taking it in. Then he looked up and met Hiroshi's eyes. "I understand. You're telling me that I'm safe. Completely safe. The adoption will not be necessary to make me safe. I may still listed in the register as Kuroko, but my father no longer has any rights over me. He cannot take me away. He'll never be able to."
Hiroshi nodded. "Yes. I wanted you to understand that."
Tetsu slowly lowered the document into his lap. "I will... I will read this carefully later. Thank you for lending it to me. But what if... What if I still want you to adopt me?"
"Then we can talk about that. You need to understand the consequences. Because once I adopt you, that will be permanent, too. Your name will be Kagami. That will be a huge disruption to your life. Everyone at your school, all of your friends both old and new... Everyone in your life knows you as Kuroko-kun. If your name suddenly changes, everyone will know that something major has happened in your life. You won't be able to hide it anymore. And because they all know Taiga, too, and they know you are connected, you won't be able to pass it off as an adoption by a relative or anything like that. People will know that this is strange and unusual. It will make you a target for whispers, for gossip. Maybe for derision. There's a stigma against childhood adoption in this country. You're almost old enough to escape that, but not quite. People will notice."
"I see. I hadn't thought of that." Kuroko smoothed out the paper in his lap, and his eyes slipped away, toward the kitchen. "Then Taiga-nii will be a target, too."
"Don't worry about me," Taiga called from the kitchen, proving that he'd been listening to every word. "I can handle a few chattering idiots."
Tetsu smiled and lowered his eyes again. "I should have expected that."
"You would be the bigger target, anyway," Hiroshi said gently. "I know you're not used to being noticed. I imagine it will be very unpleasant for you to suddenly find yourself at the center of a lot of attention, especially since much of it will be negative. Some families who adopt young children choose to move and start anew somewhere else, just to avoid the social stigma. But I know both you and Taiga love Seirin and want to stay there, so that's not a solution."
Tetsu shook his head. "And my friends would still know. No, that wouldn't help. I appreciate the thought you've put into this, though."
Taiga appeared from the kitchen with a steaming bowl and a pair of chopsticks. "Hey, I made you some food. I know you're hungry, so don't even pretend you aren't. Please eat it all."
Tetsu blinked up at him for a moment, then smiled softly and set the document on the floor where it couldn't get spilled on. He held out his hands for the food. "Thank you, Taiga-nii. You've been taking such good care of me all this time."
"Yeah, and it's not gonna stop anytime soon." Taiga set the food in his hands and ruffled his hair. "I don't care what your family name is, okay? You know how much I like having brothers. You can call me Taiga-nii forever if you want to. And I'll keep calling you Tetsu-chan if you want me to."
"Yes, I do want that." Tetsu tucked into the food. "You didn't think it was just the fever talking, did you? You are Taiga-nii and I am Tetsu-chan. That's what I want."
"Okay. Good." Hiroshi didn't miss the way Taiga's shoulders loosened, tension running away. Perhaps he really had thought that it was the fever talking, but now that fear was relieved. Taiga sat down on the floor next to the sofa where he could keep an eye on both of them, and they let Tetsu eat his food.
He ate steadily for several minutes, then suddenly slowed down, looking abruptly overwhelmed. His chopsticks hovered over the bowl, and he stared at them with a faint look of betrayal. "Ah." Hiroshi reached out and laid a hand over his. "Does your stomach hurt, Tetsu-chan?"
Tetsu looked up at him, that same betrayal reflecting in his eyes. "I was so very hungry. I thought I could eat enough to rival Taiga-nii. And I couldn't even finish this bowl."
Hiroshi chuckled and gently pried the bowl away from his hands. "It's all right. You haven't eaten very much for the past few days..." Or weeks, from what Taiga had told him... "So your stomach has shrunk. You'll need to eat small meals frequently for a while. Let your body get used to it again. You're all right."
Tesu sighed and let him take the food. "It was more than a few days. The whole time my father was like that, I ate very little. I was not very kind to myself, was I?"
"You were under a lot of stress. It's understandable." Hiroshi set the bowl on the end table.
"I suppose." Tetsu stared down at his lap for a moment. Taiga and Hiroshi exchanged a glance. Then Tetsu rubbed his hands over his face and looked up at Hiroshi again. His eyes were wide, his expression straightforward. "It's already getting hard to remember that time. I feel very different now. Better. Stronger, in my heart if not in my body."
"Good," Hiroshi said softly. "I'm very glad to hear that, Tetsu-chan."
"And most of it is thanks to you two." Tetsu looked at Taiga, then back to Hiroshi. His expression was still very earnest, though Hiroshi didn't quite understand what he was driving at. "I do thank you for your concern, Hiroshi-san. You've put a lot of thought into what adoption would mean for me, the effects it would have on me and on my life. But there's something you don't understand."
Hiroshi went very still. He poured everything he had into listening, into understanding what his boy was trying to tell him. "And what is that, Tetsu-chan?"
"I'm already...I'm already not Kuroko anymore." Tetsu pressed his hands to his chest in a sudden gesture of distress. He looked down, his face twisting in pain, and Hiroshi started to reach out, but Tetsu shook his head and looked up at him again. Tears stood in his eyes. "It's true that part of the reason I wanted you to adopt me was to be sure that my father couldn't take me away from you. The thought of that terrifies me, and I'm grateful for your reassurance that that can never happen again. But that's not the only reason I don't want have that name anymore.
"Kuroko... Kuroko is dead now. I can feel that inside myself. I'm Tetsu now, in my mind, in my heart. Aomine-kun gave me that name first, and then you claimed it, too. It's separate from my father and the things he did to me. I don't want to be Kuroko. I can't even think of myself by that name anymore. It's too painful.
"It hurts. It hurts very much. Perhaps a part of me will always grieve for Kuroko, for what he suffered and what he lost. But you spoke of a new beginning, a fresh start, and that's what I want. I want to have a new name. I want to be your son. I want to be Taiga-nii's brother.
"I understand that there will be consequences. I understand that people will think it's strange. But I don't care about that. Other people can think whatever they want to think. What matters is this, here, in this room. You said we are a family now, and I don't care if everyone knows that. I want everyone to know that. Let them gossip. Let them stare and point fingers and discuss the scandal of a new family. They don't matter.
"I want to be Kagami Tetsuya. Please, Hiroshi-san, accept me as your son in your name as well as in your heart. Erase my name from the Kuroko register and write it under your name in the Kagami register. Give me a new beginning and help me leave the past behind."
Hiroshi could barely see through his tears. "All right," he whispered. "All right, Tetsu-chan. I understand. Of course. Of course. That's exactly what we'll do."
He reached forward and pulled Tetsu into his arms, holding him tight and close and safe, safe, safe. Tetsu's arms wrapped around him in return, and he pressed his face to Hiroshi's shoulder and melted into the embrace. A moment later, Taiga rose up from the floor and put his arms around them both, and Hiroshi and Tetsu both let go of each other with one arm and wrapped it around him. The three of them cried and laughed and held each other so tightly that breathing started to be an issue. And they became.
They became everything they were and everything they would be. A family of three, bonded and whole and complete in themselves and each other. They became.
AN: I'll admit that this chapter was difficult to write because I felt ambivalent about it. I like the name Kuroko and I think it suits him, and it's hard to give that up, even in a fanfiction that isn't canon and doesn't matter. But sometimes when you're writing, a character will grab the reins and insist on certain things despite your misgivings and your own thoughts of how it should go. That's how it was here. Kuroko did not want to be Kuroko anymore, and I really can't blame him, after everything he's been through. Not only at the hands of his father, but also in canon, Kuroko has suffered a great deal of pain and mistreatment. He saw an opportunity to escape that, and he took it. And I, both as a writer and as someone who loves this character, had to accept his decision.
Next chapter, there will be Akashi and Murasakibara. Or at least, before the end of this thing. Which I am still figuring out how to end. I think we're getting close, though.
