It's still the same day, but I feel like being nice so I'll post chapter 6 right after 5. Be happy! ;)

Chapter 6

Like a hobo

Ed had felt the concerned looks from the others more than he had seen them. He hoped they wouldn't start to treat him like a piece of glass or something. They luckily didn't. Instead, they actively allowed him to catch them staring once and raised their eyebrows questioningly when they had his attention. Ed couldn't help but gratefully smile at that because this way they let him know that they cared and would listen if he chose to talk to them, without prying into his business too much. They didn't bother him with annoying questions and they didn't speak those pitiful standard phrases like "How do you feel?" or "Do you want to talk?"or "everything will be better one day". And what was the best was that none of them claimed to know how he felt. They just simply stated the fact that they didn't like him to feel bad and were there to help the best they could, if he let them. When after a second of smiling his thanks for their questioning looks he shook his head though, telling them that he wasn't ready yet, they nodded once in acceptance and went back to work, treating him like they always had. Yet that didn't meant their concern vanished. He could still see them looking at him from the corner of their eyes sometimes, but that didn't bother him. He appreciated that they cared about him in their own subtle ways, without rushing him, without pestering him, but ready to be there none the less.

Though it startled him when even Mustang showed this behaviour. The colonel was a lot more careful about getting caught looking at him, but Ed saw it twice. That's why he could tell that the third time, when he managed to capture and hold Mustangs stare, it was fully the colonel's intention to let himself be caught looking.

Mustang raised only one eyebrow, adding his own, slightly mocking touch to the question. Though it was obvious to Edward that he not actually intended to mock him. It was a safety line, for both of them, because neither the colonel nor Ed were used to act openly concerned for one another. So Mustang acknowledged Edward's seemingly dislike towards him, and also maintained a bit of the professional relationship they were supposed to have as subordinate and commanding officer, by simply leaving them this escape route into the less serious fields of bickering, if they felt they were getting too personal.

Edward thought about what he should do now. Take the escape? Nod a thanks and then shake his head, too? Or actually speak up and tell the colonel what was bothering him? Mustang had been nice enough to book him a dorm, bring him there, and never remind him of that again, apart from a note and the greeting when he finally showed up to work. But did that mean that he was willing to handle the much bigger problems that Ed would bring with him? Or was he just doing what he thought seemed right and wasn't really interested, just wanting his dog to function properly again? It was always so hard to tell with that man. Edward was pretty sure that Mustang was able to control his face perfectly enough to look like he wanted to look almost always. So how much could he trust the colonel?

The boy bit his lip, then chose to try it a bit. He wouldn't speak up, but he wouldn't take the escape route either. So he smiled a small thanks, then shook his head, like he did for the others. Mustang's second eyebrow rose up too, allowing Ed a second to rethink his choice. But when Ed just looked at the colonel without any indication that he changed his mind, Mustang nodded his head once, accepting Ed's decision. The young alchemist wasn't sure, but he could have sworn that for a millisecond Mustang smiled, like he was grateful that Ed didn't reject his concern and took the escape route. But when he blinked the colonel looked like he had never lifted his head from his paperwork to begin with. So Edward wasn't sure, but he liked to think he was.

When they neared the end of the workday Ed felt like his head would hit the table any second. He was barely able to hold his eyes open but he didn't want to fall a sleep know, he still had some work to do. He jumped when someone carefully took the pen from his hand.

"The Chief has allowed for you to go home early. Says, if that paperwork makes you this tired then you should take a break now, before it bores you to death by tomorrow.", Havoc tried to imitate the colonel's voice with a wry grin.

Ed blinked in surprise, then looked over at Mustang who looked far too engrossed in the paper he was currently reading. He knew for a fact that the man had exceptional hearing when it came to sentences that included him so there was no way he could have missed this. But the colonel stubbornly stared at his paper, acting as if they all weren't even there.

Edward looked back to Havoc, who grinned a lot brighter now and shrugged.

"You should take the offer, it's one you get once in a lifetime!", Breda exaggerated with a wink.

Ed looked down at his files, contemplating. He knew that if he worked on in this state then he'd do crappy work. And if he did crappy work then he could lose his place here, something he really didn't want to. So he shoved the files he still had to do a little to the side and kept only the one he had just been working on in front of him. Finally, he held out his hand for his pen and Havoc, understanding that Ed only wanted to finish the half ready thing, let him have it back. Edward finished the file up, suppressed a yawn and grabbed his things. He waved his good bye to the others, daring himself to give a small smile to Mustang, and left.

The air outside was slightly colder, waking him enough to make him think about the dorm room that was waiting for him. Funny. This morning he had practically run from it because he couldn't sleep there and now he had to crawl back earlier because he just needed to sleep. He walked down the stairs, his gaze sweeping aimlessly over the place while he did so. He stopped when his eyes fell onto the bench he had fallen asleep on at the first day back here.

Ed wondered. Where would he end up if he fell asleep there again? Would Mustang bring him somewhere again, or would he just burn him, this time? The boy hadn't even realised that he had walked over there until he felt himself sit down. He thought about standing up again and walking away, but he couldn't bring himself to do so. His sleep deprived mind wanted an answer to his questions no matter how stupid this experiment was. So he closed his eyes.

Edward woke to the ceiling of the dorm and a note underneath his pocket watch, again. So he wouldn't end up in a better place when he closed his eyes long enough. Well, at least that knowledge made it easier not to slit his wrists. Or wrist, singular. Metal couldn't bleed, he remembered sadly. He read the lines:

Dear sleeping beauty,

if you want to be kissed awake, go sleep in a place full of girls. They would certainly do better than a lick over the face from a military dog. Seriously, they where betting on which one of them would dare to do so.

Anyway, the best place to sleep is still a bed so I recommend you use yours from now on.

Sincerely,

Colonel Roy Mustang, Flame Alchemist, very tempted to let them lick you if you make him carry you again

Ed tried to use his bed, he really did. But he just couldn't sleep! He would lay there, sweating and clutching his sheets, tensing whenever a bad thought came near his conciousness. He would nod off, after hours of praying that he did, only to be jolted awake by a nightmare again five minutes later. During the day he would feel well, as well as someone without sleep could, enjoying work, feeling warm from the other's concern, but at night he was a wreck. And that's why three days later he couldn't help but end up on that bench once again. It was pathetic and stupid but his messed up brain held the hope that maybe one day he would wake up somewhere nice.

But he woke to the ceiling of the dorm and a note, causing a pattern, causing a vicious circle.

Stay awake for two nights.

Fall a sleep on the bench.

Wake up in the dorm.

If you don't like your bed like it is maybe try to transmute it until it fits. Just don't let the janitor see it. They hate it if you transmute furniture in 'their' buildings.

Sincerely,

Colonel Roy Mustang, Flame Alchemist, no time to think about something witty, got a date

Be glad that Mustang still cared enough to not just leave him on the bench for the night.

Work.

Stay awake for two nights.

Fall a sleep on the bench.

Wake up in the dorm.

I know that corpulent people are said to look shorter than they are but getting thinner won't make you look taller, so start eating again! A well balanced nutrition will make you taller much more likely.

Sincerely,

Colonel Roy Mustang, Flame Alchemist, could carry a few more pounds without a problem

Be glad that Mustang still cared enough to not just leave him on the bench for the night.

Work.

Stay awake for two nights.

Fall a sleep on the bench.

Wake up in the dorm.

I know I said I could carry a few more pounds, but that was no invitation to test me by sleeping on that bench yet again. Besides, you didn't gain those pounds.

Otherwise I would like to inform you that I will not let you continue your sleep-on-the-bench-game. I don't like the rumours that are coming up and I don't like getting head aches from thinking too hard about just what makes you do this and what I could do to help. So either you come tell me on your own, or I'll have to force you to speak to me. You have two nights.

Sincerely,

Colonel Roy Mustang, Flame Alchemist

No addition to the name. Mustang was serious. Ed pulled at his hair in frustration and paced back and forth in the hated room.

He did this because he hoped that maybe one morning he'd wake up somewhere else! But that was such a stupid, illogical, and childish reason and besides: Where else should the colonel have brought him? For Mustang the dorms were a logical and perfectly acceptable place for Edward to stay at. Why should he think of anything else when Ed himself didn't even know what place would make him feel better? The dorms were bad, the hotels here were bad too and the Hughes' place was even worse because there he would remember another person he'd lost.

To sum it up: Ed was a hopeless case and he hated himself for being this complicated.

He let himself fall to the floor and curled up into a fetal position. Just what should he do now? Mustang would put an end to his only way to sleep safely. Should he tell his reasons, should he allow the colonel to help him find another way? Or should he risk sleeping somewhere under a bridge like a hobo?

Edward decided that he would think about this after work. He would not waste those precious hours, of what was his closest attempt at happiness, to think about things he could think about at night because they would keep him up anyway.