All right. I should probably explain myself. Yes, I deleted the original. I struggled with writer's block for a year, and couldn't find a way to continue the story how I wanted. Updating it became torture, and writing should be fun, y'know. Considering I started this several years ago, my ideals have changed, and, well, I care about other things than wangst nowadays. This is probably the biggest retcon I've ever done, but I think it'll be worth it to start anew with a better story structure and new character interpretations. This time, I have a plan on how this tale will go, and I think I might be able to breathe life anew into it yet. I do still have the original file, so if you want the text, just shoot me a message and I'll send it to you. There's going to still be HienxHauenkua and allusions to the original, so consider this new and improved. Now, pardon my dust while I give this the biggest makeover of any of my stories ever.

Golden Days

Rin Fang

Prologue: "I reflect upon my life."

I reflect upon my life.

A miserable, worthless waste of a life.

In all of my years on this earth, I've accomplished nothing. I worked my ass off to make my dreams come true, but I don't know why I did, since they never come true for anyone anyway. I don't even know what my dreams are anymore. That's sad, isn't it? Every day it's the same old thing: go to work, get ignored, get ignored, eat, get ignored, sleep, go to work, get ignored again.

I am friendless and without reason to live. The spark of passion for living life I once had isn't there anymore, and I'm bored. I don't want to do anything anymore. I don't want to see the sun rise on another monotonous day and be forced to breathe the air I don't appreciate. Before I die, there are a few things I want to say to you, though:

Kuuya: Thanks for the job and all, but I don't think I deserved it. Good luck to you in your future endeavors, but you probably won't remember who I am anyway, so I don't know why I've bothered mentioning you at all.

Genjimaru: Fuck you. Seriously. Fuck you. I've wanted to say this to you all my life. You've never acted like a grandfather once or supported me at anything I did. Don't even bother coming to my funeral, dickbreath.

Sakuya: You're the sweetest little sister a guy could have, and I'm sorry to leave you. I hope you live a good life and don't make the same mistakes I did. You're a smart kid, way smarter than I am, and you deserve the best.

Hauenkua: What do I even say to you? You're kind of an asshole, but you're my asshole. Don't get into too much trouble without me to supervise you all the time. Our relationship was a weird one, but you're the only one who kept me getting up until now.

Everyone else: So long and thanks for all the fish.

That was my suicide note.

I thought it sounded completely whiny and self-entitled, but after five drafts, I knew I wasn't going to nail it any time soon, so I went with this. Besides, my hand was getting cramped, and I didn't have all day.

Someone ought to have picked it up by now, I thought, squinting at the crowd several hundred feet below me. They were yelling at me to not go through with it and life was worth it and stuff. You know, all the usual things they do to make them feel like saints. The construction beam I was standing on swayed in the wind, and I lost my footing. A woman below me shrieked, but I regained my hold and continued staring down at them, hoping they'd leave.

It was a fine day to have run out of sleeping pills, so I hoped they'd understand this was the only option I had, since I don't know how to properly tie a noose and knives freak me out.

Yes, they'd have to get over it soon if they were going to watch me die, the sick bastards. More screams went up from the crowd, more panicked and terrified.

It wasn't my fault this was the highest place in Kunnekamun City, and I wanted to get the job done with.

It wasn't my fault…

It really was my fault, wasn't it?

I was the one who set up this shell of self-pity for myself. I mean, my life wasn't the worst ever, and I had a stable job and everything. I guess I sort of had friends. Hell, it was my fault I never made the effort to better myself.

I looked down at the ground, and had second thoughts.

Maybe my life was worth living after all.

Too bad I didn't think this through before I jumped.