If there were ever a book on minor historical events, one chapter would be dedicated to the first dinner Rangiku had at the Kuichiki household.
Byakuya did tonight's meal of shichimi udon, banana katsu, sunomono, different styles of rice dumplings and tonkatsu served curry. As he started preparing dinner as soon as he arrived home from duty and had been practicing for the past couple of weeks, the meal just screamed flavor in both appearance and in taste. Honestly one of the best meals Rukia ever had! Even with the constant spicy texture heaped on by her brother, it still tasted damn good…even if she had to constantly reach over and refill her glass of milk.
Almost made her forget the fact that Rangiku sat right across to her.
Now, Rangiku at least acted like a regular adult; not slurping her food, not talking while eating, keeping her elbows off the table and not shoving them into people's ribs, and not shoveling food into her maw all the time. But she did make a cardinal sin that most 50s educational videos spoke out against; monopolizing all of the conservations…and taking a good deal of wine with her meat.
"So, my dad shot her, it was funny to see." Rangiku chortled out a aborted punchline. If she wasn't swinging around her wineglass needlessly, she would have seen the blasé looks of the Kuichikis. Rukia matched Byakuya's face with a few extra hints of anger and terror. Angry for letting Rangiku blackmail her and making this great meal into a long chore, and horrified that a drunk Rangiku will reveal a few details best left untold to the stoic head of the house.
"Interesting." Byakuya forced out. He was trying so hard to be civil. Bless him.
"Yeah!" Rangiku continued. "So, anyway, today had been rather interesting…"
"Oh?" Byakuya sighed as he leaned back and massaged his temples in a futile attempt to kill a headache. Rukia perked up when she realized that Rangiku could mention today's incidents…like how Rukia nearly ran into a pointed weapons or how Rangiku ripped her clothes in public. Rukia tried to glare down the busty woman into not talking, but the glowing lady decided to go on.
"…so you see…" Rangiku spun her head around, trying to keep herself up right. "Rukia and I walked to work, and we talked about something important!" She spun a finger up into the sky. "Like…super important. Too important to tell you."
"Glad you brought it up." Byakuya sighed. At least his no-nonsense attitude kicked in and he would disbelieve anything that the drunk woman would say. Unless Rangiku sobered up to talk more coherently and had pictures of the event or somehow recovered the thrown-away ripped panties, Byakuya would just roll his eyes during the entire meal. Rangiku had recently taken control of the dishes and started to shovel food onto her plate and into her mouth. Then again, the other two at the table had lost their appetite.
"So!" Rangiku suddenly bellowed. "We were walking down the road when a madman armed with a spear came running at us!" She grabbed her chopsticks and held them like the mentioned weapon, jabbing them forward. "Rukia was taken by surprise, so I had to step and pull her out of harm's way! The madman went flying forward and crashed into a pond!" She took a rice-ball and dumped it a bowl of soy sauce, causing the contents to splash out and stain the tablecloth. Byakuya merely sighed, trying oh so hard to remain civil.
"I gave him such a thrashing!" Rangiku started to wildly swing her arms like a bad boxer, thankfully not hitting anything. "I snatched and snapped the spear before pounding away at him with my…" She reeled her torso back again as she tried to motion with her fists again, but she ended up panning over her breasts. Suddenly, a mental image of Rangiku subduing a vicious and possibly insane attacking by swinging her breasts so hard it must have felt like a steel warhammer being swung by a Viking warrior entered into both Kuichiki's heads. And it wouldn't be going away any time soon.
"Oh." Byakuya emitted.
"Oh yeah!" Rangiku bounced up, causing her massive bounty to bounce. "He won't be doing anything for a LONG time!" She hiccupped and finally fell over to the floor back-first, landing with a good thud. Rukia for a second wondered how gravity allowed her to get up with such a heavy weight on her chest. But she quickly bounced back up like nothing happened. "I'm pretty sure I sent him to the hospital." Rangiku mused. "I should send him flowers…I didn't mean to do that much damage…"
Byakuya shifted in his seat. He might take action now or at least soon. What sort of action would he take was anyone's guest. It could be a physical confrontation with Rangiku needing a first-aid kit or verbal with a tongue-lashing so harsh it would cut Rangiku's flesh. Either way, Rangiku wasn't coming out of this unharmed.
Rangiku continued her story without even commenting on her fall. "So, after a long day of doing noottthhhhiiiiinnnngggg…." She trailed off as her body started to swivel around her hips. "…which is usual for work…so I invited Rukia for lunch at the park…" Rukia once more tried to give Rangiku the evil eye, but Rangiku continued. "…and Rukia saved my life when I had this near accident." Rukia started to mouth 'no' over and over again, not knowing her brother could see her and understand. "…I got all dressed up and she…"
Rukia had no choice. She jumped over and tried to get Rangiku to keep her trap shut, but the end result wasn't a successful shutting down, but rather a sexual assault by latching onto her breasts and making the two women fall over and roll to the wall behind them, with the table and all the contents resting on top falling off. Even though Rukia quickly removed her hands from the mounds, Rangiku obviously felt it and Byakuya saw it. For no apparent reason, it just looked like Rukia just jumped over to cop a feel.
Byakuya needed a second to get all information processed. He saw Rukia mouth 'no' repeatedly before jumping over and just taking ahold of Rangiku's breasts without any reason or any warning. So many, MANY questions to be asked and answered! He stared at the two women just sitting there in a awkward pose, one such pose that looked like they were about to do it right then and there and were caught undressing.
It remained like this for a good minute. Rukia's hands might no longer be resting on Rangiku's breasts, but her body became stuck within Rangiku's valley. Rukia quickly dislodged her head out and ran off into her room to hide in there for a bit and wait for whatever hell would come her way, be it from Byakuya or even Rangiku…
Little did Rukia know, something that like this that would become a recurring element, that things would only get weirder from here on out. Not good or bad, but weird.