Red and Black – Chapter 16
'Help, please send help, International Rescue are you receiving me? I'm trapped at boarding school and I can't get out!' – Basically my life right now.
In which Scott deserves Bro of the Year award…
Gordon lay on his bed with his phone; this was becoming a far more dominant position for him, and mostly due to Tim. Once again in the small window that their time zones allowed, Tim was still using it to do the typically British thing of apologising way more than was necessary for himself. Gordon decided that they really needed to talk.
G: Maybe at this stage we should consider boundaries?
T: Sure, like what? I promise I'm not planning on going any further than you want me to.
G: The thing is, I want to go further; I just don't know if I'm actually ready…
T: So no going further yet?
G: Just give me time and I'll get there.
Gordon roughly put the phone down on the mattress by his side and let out a heavy sigh, he wasn't mad or upset; just confused about what he should really be doing. Tim was of course one of those options, but Gordon couldn't decide what he really wanted. Then Scott came to the door, he walked in and carefully closed the door; making sure that they wouldn't be heard. Scott sat on the edge of the bed, and Gordon only looked over, not bothering to sit up.
"Boy problems?" He asked plainly with little humour, clearly Scott knew what was up; he was Scott after all, and it was no use hiding what he already knew.
"Kinda," Gordon began; he started to haul himself into sitting,
"You wanna talk about it?" Gordon sighed a little again, wondering whether to take an awkward plunge.
"Basically, when I stayed with him in London last weekend we… well, nearly had sex; but then I said no…" Scott sprung up on hearing this, his ears perked like those of guard dog hearing danger.
"I swear to God if he…"
"No Scott," he interjected,
"Nothing remotely like that happened, he stopped; it was fine."
"Why do I sense a great and horrible 'but' here?" Damn Scott, stop reading my mind.
"Because I feel kind of guilty, I let it go on for too long; and now he's apologising and I feel bad. Like, I wasn't sure if I was ready then; but…" Scott knew exactly what was up,
"Do you feel ready now?" Gordon now realised that he had been making things harder for himself, he just needed Scott to pave a clear path in his mind.
"Yeah, I think so…"
"Are you sure?" Just like Scott to make sure.
"Yes."
"Do you want to do this?"
"Yes."
"There you go then, it's all up to you. Only do what you want to do."
TBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBTB
Driving through the centre of Paris was a pain, everything went slowly in the middle of the day; and all the tourists stopping or slowing down at every available opportunity wasn't helping. Gordon fidgeted slightly in the passenger seat of his and Scott's rented Audi, he twiddled his thumbs slightly; partially from excitement and partially from nerves. Scott had kept reminding him not to do anything that he didn't want to do, and he kept reminding himself that it wouldn't be wrong to keep to saying 'no,' but he was determined.
Gordon had always been a forward-thinker, he liked to look out into the future at the consequences of everything that happens; the idea of doing one small thing to change the course of history fascinated him and he and Virgil had had conversations lasting for hours talking about this. For example, they had once spent a whole day asking if Franz Ferdinand's driver hadn't taken a wrong turn, would two world wars have even started?
Gordon wondered if he and Tim could stand the test of time, not that he doubted them; it was just a truthful question. He found great joy in imagining the future; would they get married, would they have children, would he leave International Rescue for a normal life? Gordon let his gaze wander off into the distance, looking nor focusing at anything in particular; and allowed himself to dream. He hoped that one day they would have children; being only two years older than Alan he hadn't had the sort of experience with young children that say, Scott had, for example. He could already imagine Tim as being the sort of person who would be perfect with small children, even doing the silly voices along to bedtime stories; perhaps with his brother's children. Gordon knew that at least Virgil would probably want kids, and Grandma would definitely be begging him and his brothers for a Tracy girl pretty soon; it was his family that made Gordon's ideal so beautiful, until he imagined his father.
"Shit" he whispered, and lightly slammed his head onto the dashboard; thinking about his dreams that, perhaps, could not be.
"What's up?" Scott asked, still keeping his eyes on the road.
"What am I gunna do?" Gordon said, being as vague as he was almost deliberately.
"Dad?" Scott said; it was beyond Gordon how he always knew.
"I just… All I can think about is 'what if,' I just don't know what to think; or how I'd ever tell him. I don't even if I could."
"Hey, it's not like you've murdered someone; and he's gunna find out at some point, besides, you always come back to island happier than when you left; I think Virgil might even be onto you." Gordon let out a long sigh, still without looking up.
"At least he knows how to keep something to himself. If any of us would tell dad my money would be on Alan, and I know he doesn't understand sometimes but he's not stupid; I say you have nothing to worry about." Gordon let a small smile creep out of the corner of his mouth, but still said nothing; all he could do now was contemplate.
A few minutes later they pulled up outside the hotel and went to drop their bags off, Scott had asked for a double room so that their father wouldn't be suspicious if he saw the receipt. It was a few more miles before they reached the conference hall, and Gordon was already smiling again by the time they got to the front. Gordon climbed out of the passenger seat and felt Scott slide something into his the back pocket of his jeans; checking, he felt two foil squares and looked down to see his brother grinning cheekily.
"Just in case." He said, before driving away.
Gordon almost laughed out loud to himself in the middle of the street, Scott, you little shit.
Scott is a fantastic brother, everyone needs a Scott in their lives; anyone know a shop where I can buy a Scott?
More to come this weekend as I am out of school for my last weekend before exams, so I hope to bring you as much content as possible before I have to leave for the land without internet. And I would like to insert a suggestive moon emoji [here] if word could do that because what's about to come is something magical.
Please R&R as usual, it makes the writer's day so much better! Lion plushies for everyone!