Vignette 3: "Hail to the royal house of Amururine!"
Light on her feet as she was, Sakuya M. was not without her clumsiness. She sniffled and muttered under her breath as she crossed into the palace wing where the servants' dormitories were, half mortified, half angry.
Sakuya was a gentle soul with very little fight in her, but if there was one person who could push her buttons without fail, it was Hauenkua. And now—she mulled over in her head as she struggled with her parcel and the door lock at the same time—her poor brother crossed paths with him.
At last, she jiggled the lock open and entered her bedroom, slamming the door shut with her foot. Sakuya, being the granddaughter of the esteemed warrior Genjimaru, was afforded certain privileges, her own room being one of them.
… Or it would be, if there weren't another form stirring beneath the covers.
Sakuya approached the bed and pulled the covers up, revealing another girl, half-asleep and mumbling something about five more minutes, mom. She had a beautiful face, but was short and kind of chubby, with beach blonde hair that spilled across her frame. The white fur coating her lop ears was fluffed out, indicating she came out of the bath recently. Grunting a shockingly low-pitched grunt, she grabbed the pillow and covered her head with it.
"Turn off the sun," she grumbled with limited coherence, "need… sleep time…"
"It's one in the afternoon," Sakuya stated bluntly. "Lady Kuuya, don't tell me you're tired!" She hopped onto the bed and grabbed the pillow away, Kuuya's arms feebly flailing for it back.
"I'm always tired!" Kuuya responded to Sakuya's confiscation by smushing her face into the mattress, muffling her words. "Baths are hard work, y'know?"
"Not really."
"Well, I haven't got anything better to do in here anyway. If you're going to leave me here all day, the least you can do is let me out! I don't see why I have to be cooped up in your room!"
"No, that won't do!" Sakuya grabbed her shoulders and pulled her into a semi-sitting position. Kuuya's head rolled to the side. "You have to understand the situation you're in…"
"Why can't I go with my half-siblings to visit the countryside with father?" asked Kuuya. She wrinkled her nose and opened her eyes for the first time. "I hardly ever get to visit the out-of-doors!" Sakuya bit her lip. It was a difficult position, Kuuya was in, one she couldn't explain properly. She'd have to ask her grandfather later.
"Outside is where bees are," said Sakuya, exasperated. "If you go out, one will sting you, and then you will die."
"Well, that's not very nice of them."
"Bees aren't known for being nice, no. Why do you want to go out with them?"
"I've never even met my half-siblings before!" Kuuya replied. "And I never get to spend time with father, either! I mean, he always says he'll visit me, but he never does, but I guess that's to be expected with him being so busy and all…"
Sakuya frowned. "I am under orders from him to keep you put where you are."
"Why am I treated differently from the rest of them?" Kuuya frowned back. Any other person would be angry by now, but she said things with a succinct matter-of-factness. "I, Princess Kuuya Amururineuruka, 32nd in line to the inheritance of the throne, demand an answer!"
"He doesn't want you getting murdered by bees," Sakuya said frankly. It was a lie, of course. Sakuya felt terrible lying to her, but Kuuya was a very sheltered girl, and she wasn't sure if she'd even be able to understand the real reason she was kept hidden from the public.
"These… 'bees' sound terrible! How can anyone leave their houses at all and not die?"
"Beats me, ahaha… Princess, how about we get you dressed? I've brought lunch!"
Kuuya's ears perked up at the mention of lunch, and she twitched her nose. "D-Did you bring carrot sticks?"
"Of course!" Sakuya shook the parcel and began undoing the ties to Kuuya's nightie.
Kuuya brightened up and kicked her feet around as Sakuya worked. "Capital stuff, Sakuya!"
"It wasn't easy getting it, though…"
"What do you mean?"
Sakuya exposed her bare back, blushing slightly as she did so. Kuuya had a large tattoo between her shoulder blades, a red crown and crescent moon. She couldn't help but stare. After a few seconds, she pulled herself out of her stupor, grabbing Kuuya's slip.
"That awful Hauenkua!" she snapped, finding her dress. The tattoo on her back disappeared, and Sakuya sucked in a glut of air.
"You mean Big Jerk?"
"Yes, him."
"What'd he do?"
"He caught me smuggling food. If I get in trouble with my supervisor, it's all his fault!"
"Well, that's terribly nosy of him… wait." Kuuya furrowed her brow. "Smuggled the food? As in… steal?" Kuuya cupped a hand to her mouth in horror. "Sakuya, you mustn't steal! God is watching, and God says stealing is bad."
"Uh-huh…" Sakuya brushed her hair, focusing on it. It was soft and luscious. "Sure, sure."
"Just watching out for you so you don't go to hell."
"Okay." Sakuya bit her lip.
"Why do you have to steal, though? Don't the cooks know that I have to be fed?"
"Well, uh…" Sakuya stuttered. She searched anxiously for an avenue to escape as Kuuya's facial expression grew increasingly perplexed. She wasn't ready for the truth. Not now, not ever. "I, uh, and that's not even the worst part!" she stammered.
Kuuya dropped the subject immediately and carried on as though nothing happened. "What's the worst part?" she asked.
"He's hounding my poor brother!" Sakuya wailed.
Kuuya's eyes grew wide as saucers. "Ohhhh, you have a brother? Do you spend time with him?"
"Not really…"
"So not spending time with siblings is a normal thing?"
"I, uh…"
"What's he harassing your brother about?"
Sakuya breathed a sigh of relief. "I don't know. But knowing him, he wants something. You see, Hien's somewhat of a pushover, and Hauenkua's very manipulative. I'm worried about him."
"He sounds weak. That's very awful of Hauenkua. I wish I were in Hien's place instead, as I would never let Hauenkua manipulate me."
"That's kind of you, but Taro… er, grandpa will keep an eye on him. Hien won the obstacle course race today so there's hope for him."
"I'm glad he's not as pathetic as I originally posited."
"Again, I would say he has hope." Sakuya snaked her fingers through Kuuya's hair and began pulling it into tight braids. "At least, that's what Grandpa told me. But I'm worried about him. He just joined the army, and, well… I don't want him getting hurt."
"I can understand that. You should take me to meet Hien sometime!"
"Eh-eh!?" Sakuya jumped back slightly. "Emperor Okura told me himself that none of his daughters are to spend time with boys! Do you know how much trouble I'd be in if I let you…?"
"I get it, I get it," Kuuya mumbled. Sakuya finished her hair and gave her a mirror to look at herself. "Father is so strict. Not as strict as Mother was, though. Do you think he'll let me go near a boy when I'm older?"
Sakuya's expression fell, and she was glad that she was sitting behind Kuuya at that moment so she couldn't see. "Who knows?" she muttered. "Why are you so interested in boys all of a sudden?"
"Because I'm supposed to be interested in boys. I'm almost eleven… if I don't start looking now, I'll be an old spinster in a few years!"
"Princess, you have a long ways to go before you can be considered a spinster." Sakuya got off the bed and opened up the parcel, setting out placemats and utensils. She pulled out the carrot sticks and lumped a generous portion onto Kuuya's plate, waving her over.
"I'm jealous of you," said Kuuya between crunches of carrot. "Even though you're only a little older than me, you can go outside. Hauenkua's a boy, right?"
"I think."
"What are boys like?"
"As in, boys in general, or Hauenkua in particular?"
"Both!"
"Boys are unhygienic and impossible to understand. Girls are vastly superior. Hauenkua is terrible in every sense of the word."
"You like him, don't you?"
Sakuya looked flabbergasted. "No!" She really didn't.
"I think it's sad that you two are such enemies. You should try and be friends."
"Friends?" Sakuya echoed in disbelief.
"Yes, that's what I said. You should listen more closely. Friendship is a particularly beautiful thing, especially amongst men and women. Maybe you'll become such good pals that you'll get married, and your friendship will make a baby appear."
Sakuya screamed on the inside. "Do you… do you know how babies are made…?" she sputtered.
"Of course! When you get married, your friendship meter skyrockets and then God makes a baby appear in your tummy using the power of love."
"Okay."
"See? I know some things, too!" She grabbed another carrot stick and munched it. Sakuya made a mental note to take a long shower later. "And one more thing!"
"Yes, Princess?"
"How do you know if a boy is supposed to be handsome or not?"
"They're all ugly."
"What? The whole lot of them?"
"Yes."
"That's most unfortunate. Half the human race really got the short stick, there. Did you bring dessert?"
"I brought tarts."
"You! You are excellent! I'll make sure you don't get in trouble."
"How so?"
"Um…" Kuuya paused. "I haven't thought about that yet, but I'll figure it out!"
On the worship of our Great Father, Onbitaikaiyan—a brief discourse:
A long time ago, God created all the people in the world. We called Him Onbitaikaiyan, which in the ancient language means "Great Father," for He loved us and provided all we needed. Everyone lived together happily in the Garden of Eden, and all were peaceful worshipping His Divine Greatness. The most devout of all were The People Of Long-Ear, the Shakukopolu. Because they were so faithful, He rewarded them handsomely with all the blessings the universe could offer.
There was never any violence or conflict or strife, and there were no problems amongst the humans: The People of White Wings, The People of Long-Tail, The People of Long-Ear, and everyone else got along.
But one day, an evil God came into existence.
He called himself Witsuarunemitea, but to speak his name aloud is haram. He must only be known as an evil demon.
The demon was a trickster and manipulator. He convinced the people to leave paradise for promises of endless pleasure beyond what God could offer, where he ensnared them in his web of prejudice and corruption. He led them into sin.
However, the Shakukopolu saw through his evil ruse and remained loyal to the True Father, Onbitaikaiyan. He kept them safe while the demon destroyed the others outside the walls of paradise.
That is where we get the name for our religious group, the Kuneyetai, which means "Faithful Ones."
But as the others worshipped the devil, his power grew stronger until he encroached upon paradise. The False One wanted the whole world to himself, so he attacked Onbitaikaiyan. The Great Father fought him, but because only a few people still loved Him, the hatred and betrayal from His other children lanced through Him like spears, He was weakened, and devoured by the evil spirit.
The devil usurped the Great Father's throne for himself where he continued to force people to hate one another. He turned them against the Kuneyetai, convincing the others Onbitaikaiyan was the bad spirit instead. The people were miserable under his rule and jealous of the rewards we once reaped due to our devotion, and the False One sent the claws of prejudice upon us.
That was the beginning of our persecution.
However, we believe that the Great Father is not dead, but merely biding His time until His strength comes back anew. Thus it is our duty to spread the word of the Kuneyetai and bring others back to His light.
He watches over us, providing us with just enough to survive, until one day He will burst from the belly of the beast and paradise will return more splendid than before.
Six weeks later…
"It is with heavy hearts we bid our Emperor farewell."
The cleric laid a garland of flowers across the snow-white casket. The palace temple was draped in mourning shrouds and the laity was packed to the outside, sitting cross-legged on their cushions, heads bowed in deference.
The train of mourners extended long past the palace gates into the city, people congregated to send Emperor Okura Amururineuruka, greatest man Kunnekamun ever knew, to his final resting place.
Members of the military stood side by side to keep a pathway open for the funeral train to pass through. They stood stiffly, but for a few, the looks on their faces betrayed their grief. To the side of Okura's casket were many others, some only big enough to hold babies. These were the tombs of his children, and the adult-sized ones for his wives. Others yet were decked in the flag of the Royal Military, housing the soldiers who died trying to protect the Emperor and his family in the massacre.
The choir sat in pews on the stage, and I sat slightly behind them, situated at the pipe organ.
… I never thought that my first performance as the military choir's new accompanist would be for the Emperor's funeral. I diverted my eyes from the countless caskets; they were a depressing sight, so I stared down at the organ's keyboard.
All three of 'em.
Transfer to the organ from the piano, they said. It'll be easy, they said.
They lied.
Organs are not easy, and they are certainly not like pianos.
They're maybe tangentially piano-esque at most.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. While I trained for many weeks to get the hang of the pipe organ, I'd still feel awful if I screwed up at the Emperor's funeral.
"May the esteemed Genjimaru deliver the eulogy?"
I snapped myself back to attention to see Grandfather walk up to the lectern and clear his throat. "Ladies and gentlemen," he began, "I met His Highness Okura over fifty years ago before the unification of the Shakukopolu people. He was a true visionary who sincerely believed the Shakukopolu could rise above their situation even in the binds of slavery. He dreamed of a country where we could govern ourselves, where we could have opportunities, where we could worship freely, and where we would be treated as actual people."
Kind of odd he was referring to himself as Shakukopolu, I thought, adjusting my seat. Trust me; that's the last thing you want to be.
"His drive and willpower was extraordinary as he led us through the war for our independence, establishing our beautiful country of Kunnekamun. He also liberated us from the tyrannical oppression of the Giriyagina during the Great War. Throughout Okura's reign, he brought Kunnekamun to the forefront of technological innovations. He established sophisticated infrastructure, the university system, and created one of the most organized militaries in the world. Okura is the reason why Kunnekamun leads the world in medicine and the arts." He paused, and I craned my head over to look at him. Was he… was he about to cry? No way. Impossible. "People often tell me how wonderful it is to be Evinkuruga. But I disagree; I am far prouder to consider myself one of the Kuneyetai. I have never met a harder working people. Without ever learning of His Highness' wonderful dream so many years ago, I never would have become acquainted with the Shakukopolu's beautiful culture. His legacy will continue in every single one of you each day you continue to strive against racism and injustice."
Cool story.
"But there was one part of Emperor Okura's dream he never accomplished in his lifetime. And that was to make Kunnekamun safe for all Shakukopolu to live in. The three major cities are industrious and secure, but our villages, particularly those near the borders, remain vulnerable to outside attackers. The ambush from the neighboring country, Noseshechika, that ultimately took the lives of our Emperor and his family was an act of depraved violence, but if he were still alive, he would've preferred me to talk about the citizens instead: the reality is that civilians deal with this on a regular basis. Every day people are killed, towns are pillaged, crops are burned, and children are kidnapped and sold into slavery. This injustice must end. Let us honor Okura the Great Liberator by striving for safety and equality not just for his sake, but for all of ours. For Okura was all of us, and we are Okura. May he rest in peace. Glory to the house of Amururineuruka! Glory to the Faithful! Glory to Kunnekamun! And glory to God!"
Genjimaru left the podium, and the crowd went apeshit, erupting into a chorus of cheers and applause. Somehow the mood was lifted just like that—from what Genjimaru told me of Emperor Okura, that's what he would have wanted, though. I was impressed. I never thought he could be such a great orator. Usually he just spoke to me in a series of disappointed grunts and headshakes. Suddenly, something occurred to me.
… If the Amururineuruka family got wiped out, then who will succeed him?
Some choir members had the exact same idea, and fine-tuning my hearing past the whoops and shouts of the public, I eavesdropped on a whispered conversation between two sopranos.
"Do we actually have a successor?" whispered one to her companion.
"I don't think so," answered the other. "I think Sir Genjimaru is doing damage control so the word doesn't get out to other countries."
"But what about inside Kunnekamun? Who will run the country?"
"I've no clue—Sir Genjimaru will probably ascend to the throne."
"Oh, that'll be no good at all!" an alto chimed in. "Kunnekamun was founded so Shakukopolu could finally have some autonomy. The public would be outraged if a non-Shakukopolu ruled us! I would be outraged!"
"I'm scared of a civil war breaking out," said the first soprano, eyes widening. "People fighting to establish the next dynasty. It'll be nasty!"
"Ugh. The last thing our country needs is more war!"
The chaplain strolled to the altar and unwrapped a sword with a golden hilt from where it was swathed in silk. He took it and placed it upon Okura's casket. Then he lit incense and walked a circle around it, waving the candleholder and saying prayers.
My eyes wandered again. Where did Grandfather go?
"The Great Liberator has been sent to lie in the arms of Onbitaikaiyan. May he be remembered for eternity, but may new life flourish in his place. Let us celebrate his life, and that he is now in heaven. Furthermore, let us bless his successor. May we end this service in joy as we present our new Emperor."
Holy shit, they DID have somebody!
I thought the open passage the soldiers made through the throng of mourners was for the pallbearers. What I didn't expect was for a procession of people to come marching through the door. The military raised their swords in salute as they passed by, and I stood as well. I didn't have a sword, so I brought my hand to my forehead instead.
Leading the party was Sakuya, strewing flower petals across the path. She was all gussied up in a fancy dress, her hair pulled into a tight up-do. I was shocked that she got to be in the train. Good for her, I guess.
Behind her walked two people, a middle-aged woman on the right, and a man in his mid-thirties on the left. They were in full military regalia and carried ceremonial spears, marching in the way we taught during drill instruction.
Oh.
I knew these people.
Lord Inaba the Left General, and Lady Zemfir the Right General. The highest-ranking military officials in Kunnekamun, and the brilliant fuckers who got us through the Great War.
Behind them walked a short young man, his head covered by an intricate veil. The only part of his body that was exposed was his lop ears. He walked somberly, as though trying too hard to look regal.
And at the very back was Genjimaru, marching like the Generals.
Sakuya broke off from the throng and stood by the podium, still throwing flowers. The Generals marched right on up, but sharply turned and marched opposite directions, where they stopped and waited at their respective sides, spears raised. Genjimaru walked up to the second step and stopped, but the young man continued up to Okura's casket where he waited. His attention drifted for a moment and his gaze turned to the coffin, only shaking himself back to reality when the chaplain approached him.
He touched his shoulder with the sword. "Please state your name," said the chaplain.
A moment of hesitation, and…
"Kuuya Amururineuruka."
Ah, yes, Kuuya Amururineuru—who?
Kuuya?
Who… ya?
I lost my composure for a second as I scrutinized the boy at his father's casket. Now, I knew my Amururineuruka kids pretty well, and there sure as hell wasn't any Kuuya. The chaplain seemed as surprised as I was.
"Come… come again?" he asked.
"Kuuya Amururineuruka."
"I… I see." He cleared his throat and made eye-contact with Genjimaru. Body language translation: who the fuck is this? "Will you remove your mask?"
He lifted the veil off his head and… shit… shit! Not a guy! Not a guy! That's definitely a girl! A masculine-presenting but beautiful girl with a deep voice. I blushed in embarrassment and shimmied behind the organ.
"Will you prove your lineage so we know you are worthy of receiving the throne?"
Clearly, he didn't believe this small girl was the successor, and neither did I. This probably wasn't a ceremonial thing at all and he was trying to see if Genjimaru wasn't pulling the wool over his eyes.
She seemed none the wiser. Kuuya unzipped her dress and let it fall down past her hips, leaving her back exposed to the world. The public gasped. I did too. Maybe I also counted as the public, though.
She had a large tattoo on her back, done in red ink of a crown and crescent moon. It was called the Royal Mark, a tattoo every possible heir to the throne received at birth. The particular artist who made them had a very unique style that was impossible to emulate, so she had to be the real deal.
The chaplain was flummoxed but satisfied. "You may cover yourself up now." She did as she was told and the chaplain fumbled a bit. A few people in the laity exchanged puzzled whispers. Returning himself to his previous dignified state, the cleric picked up the flower chain on Okura's casket and draped it around her. He waved incense at her.
"You have proven yourself a true Amururineuruka," he bullshitted his way through, "Now, we ask: do you accept your father's burden?"
She hesitated for a moment, and nodded. "I accept."
"Do you agree to lead Kunnekamun in the best interest of the people?"
"I agree."
"Do you have the will to resist corruption?"
"I do."
"Do you intend to uphold the values of Onbitaikaiyan?"
"I do."
"Then so it shall be." At that moment, he raised his sword and swiped at her. I flinched. Flower petals went flying everywhere and the slashed garland crumpled to the ground. "Now kiss your father's coffin to keep your promises."
Kuuya knelt down and planted a light kiss on the white marble.
"You have now completed the first part of your coronation. You will be officially inducted to the throne on the next full moon, as is tradition. Please accept your father's sword, turn, and bow to the people."
She took the sword and sheathed it, prostrating herself to the commoners.
"May you live long and bring prosperity to the people! Salve regina!"
"Salve regina!" echoed the laity.
"Will all stand for the Kunnekamun national anthem?"
And this is where I came in.
I sat down at the organ and pounded out the opening chords, loud and clear. With a wave of the conductor's baton, the choir began to sing.
"Sing praise to Kunnekamun
Our bold and glorious land
From our clear blue skies and rivers
To ev'ry drop of golden sand!
Hail our God of all creation
And lead us not astray
Keep strong our faith and resolution
To strive forward ev'ry day…"
"How'd I do? Did I get everything right?" Kuuya kicked off her uncomfortable shoes and flopped down on the couch in the royal family's parlor. "I screwed up something, didn't I? The cleric looked at me all funny."
"I assure you, sire, that you did perfectly." Genjimaru stood vigil by the door while Sakuya took a seat on the floor, cross-legged. The two generals of Kunnekamun stood off in a corner, giving Kuuya nervous glances.
"Are you sure about that? Because he looked at me all shocked-like. Why did he have to ask my name again? There's nothing difficult about Kuuya Amururineuruka! Amururineuruka. It rolls off the tongue. Quite simply, really. Amururineuruka."
"He was the one who messed up, madam."
"Ohhh! I see! Well, that makes perfect sense, then. What a shame he made a fool of himself in public."
"Indeed."
"Sire, permission to speak?" Zemfir spoke up.
Kuuya turned to her and nodded.
"While I do understand that you are not officially the leader of our country yet, there is urgent business to attend to."
Genjimaru grunted in agreement. "It is so. Noseshechika committed a grave offense by murdering your father."
Kuuya's ears fell. "Y-Yes," she stammered.
"Taro, can't this wait? Lady Kuuya is still grieving…" Sakuya began.
"No… no, it's fine." Kuuya gulped. "I knew this would have to be brought up eventually. Please continue."
"You have been studying international law?"
"Yes."
"Then you realize that Noseshechika violated our peace treaty."
"The Treaty of Coexistence. Signed five years ago by my father and Noseshechika's emperor."
"Correct." Inaba cleared his throat. "It was signed in hopes that it would alleviate raids on villages. Unfortunately, it backfired, as up until now the circumstances of the treaty have prevented us from going to war, as we were unable to prove the Noseshechikan government itself and not independent militia groups had a hand in our persecution. However, as head of military intelligence, I finally have gathered sufficient evidence to suggest that they are, in fact, at fault."
"Furthermore," said Zemfir, "Nosechechika took a great misstep in attacking us at this time. The emperor is gravely ill and unable to rule. We believe the crown prince, Kanhorudari, disregarded the treaty and signed off on the order to attack Kunnekamun in his place. However, Kanhorudari is brash and inexperienced. Not only do we have the technology available to conquer Noseshechika, we believe that their internal government is in such disarray that winning a war against them would be simple with no significant cost of life to us."
"We didn't strike back until now because we had no emperor to sign the executive order. But at your current standing, you have the authority to give military commands in times of crisis."
"What do you say, sire?" asked Genjimaru.
"I… er…" Kuuya stammered. "Well, I…"
"Your commands may come at any time," said Inaba.
"I… why don't I get a look at this evidence first?" Kuuya twiddled her fingers, clearly distressed. "I don't want to go to war right now. I think the people need time to recover from the attack. I know! We could… we could have a conference with Noseshechika. We could amend the treaty so it's clearer!"
"If I am not being presumptuous," said Inaba, "I don't think they'll listen. Our Avu-Kamuu are more than enough to put a stop to this for good."
"The emperor's orders are her orders!" bellowed Genjimaru, and Inaba slunk back.
"Avu-Kamuu?" asked Kuuya. "What's that?"
Inaba and Zemfir gave each other a look.
"You… don't know about the Avu-Kamuu?" stuttered Zemfir.
"I've never heard a word like it!"
"Oh, my." She flicked her harlequin rabbit ears. "But all the Amururineurukas have been taught to pilot… never mind." She shook her head. "It's best we showed you. As you're inheriting your father's, we need to change its bonded signature from his to yours, anyway."
"Can you speak human language?" asked Kuuya.
"We can use this time to show you the evidence as well. If it pleases you, will you come with us?"
Kuuya looked around. "Can Sakuya come with me?"
"With all due respect to Lady Sakuya, she has not completed her training yet. This information is currently restricted to the highest-ranked members of the Royal Military only."
"I want to talk with her as well," said Genjimaru. Sakuya flinched.
"Training? For what?" Kuuya cocked her head, but was swept away by the two generals before she could get a word in edgewise. "I'll see you later, I-I suppose!"
Sakuya got up and joined Genjimaru, watching Kuuya walk down the hall with the generals until they disappeared from sight. Wringing her hands together, she asked him, "So, do you think she's ready?"
Genjimaru shook his head. "Okura, rest his soul, would've signed the order without a second thought."
"Then it's good that she's so conscien—conscie-conscientious!" Sakuya tripped on the word and bit her lip, flustered.
"Perhaps too conscientious?" Genjimaru closed the door shut tight and locked it. "It appears to me that Her Highness is uncomfortable with the idea of war. While I see that she has noble intentions and the desire to help the Shakukopolu, she's nervous and insecure. Naïve, too. Noseshechika won't listen. They never did to Okura—that's why the treaty's so bad in the first place. I foresee us going to war within the next few years, anyway."
"You think so? Why didn't Inaba and Zemfir push the issue harder then?"
"Firstly, it would be greatly disrespectful. Secondly, those two want to retire. Lord Inaba wants to spend time with his children, and Lady Zemfir is just plain getting too old. I don't blame them for not wanting to live through another horrible war. The only reason they haven't stepped down yet is because there are no good candidates in sight to replace them."
"Do you think Hien could do it?"
Genjimaru sighed. "As I said earlier, the boy isn't without hope. He was brilliant on the obstacle course, saving that First Sergeant's life. I can see him as a great warrior in the future. Don't tell him I said that, of course. I don't want him getting a big head." He winked at her. "But right now he's too meek and undisciplined. By all accounts, right now he is still a civilian. It will be awhile until he can even be considered for Avu-Kamuu Officer candidacy, and even then, who would the second be? When Okura drew up the constitution, he stated that there must be two generals to prevent power abuse."
"I see."
"But referring to my first point: Her Highness is young, but I see potential in her as well. Deep down, she has the heart of a great leader. Let's just hope her head will catch up with her. Being the emperor means having to make difficult decisions, and she needs to realize that. I like that she seems more sympathetic to other cultures than Okura was, though. But enough of that—you will continue on with your duties taking care of her."
"Yes, Taro."
"You will make sure she completes her lessons, and you will act as her confidante. Furthermore, you have not completed the mission Okura assigned you. I expect you to continue training for it and execute your duties accordingly."
"Y-Yes!"
"That's my girl. And one last thing."
"What is it?"
"Don't let Lady Kuuya find out the truth."
Sakuya's shoulders hunched up. "… I don't feel good about it, Taro," she whispered. "I don't think it's right pulling the wool over her eyes."
"I know, Sakuya. But by keeping her true circumstances a secret, you're protecting the nation as well."
"She suspects things, Grandpa! She's not dumb!"
"The cleric really did almost blow it, didn't he? I'll be sure to have a word with him. For her own good, and for Kunnekamun's: she must not know that we're taking a gamble putting her on the throne."
"I know, Taro, I know."
The night was chilly and calm. A full moon shone bright and silver past the wispy black clouds that tried to obscure it, and a breeze rustled the needles of the cypress trees. Small, vibrant lanterns were laced around them, illuminating the pink rose petals floating in the palace moat. The lights led into the city and the countryside, lighting the pathway for Kunnekamun's new emperor. Vendors lined their stalls along the paths hawking their goods as people in pastel robes walked past, paying them no heed.
But the main event was in the courtyard. Soldiers stood on duty as security, changing out every so often so they'd have a chance to enjoy the coronation party, too. A bonfire burned in the center to keep everyone warm, and to the left the chefs manned the buffet station. Many people were dancing, while others played games and children ran around, screaming unsupervised.
I played the final chord on my bourrée, but despite the fact the music ended everybody kept dancing anyway. The other quartet members looked at me, and we let out a collective shrug.
My fingers were cramped up. I played most of the night, but finally, my shift was over. The pianist taking over for me practically pushed me off the bench, eager to get started.
Oh, he'd learn soon enough. He'd learn.
I left the others behind to put away their instruments. My stomach let out a growl, and grimacing, I made my way straight over to the buffet, scrutinizing the smorgasbord in front of me.
Goddamn, it smelled good.
It smelled like… the cooking staff actually put effort into the food for once.
I loaded my plate with barbecue kebobs, spring rolls, and spinach-artichoke dip. (Hey, I have eclectic tastes.) Absentmindedly shoving the grilled vegetables-on-a-stick into my mouth hole, I reached for a slice of cake with my free hand.
"Hey. Hey. Hien. Hey. Hien. Hey. Hien hey."
I looked around.
"I'm talkin' to you, Amadeus."
I zoned in on the voice, and came to look at Hauenkua, standing guard with a spear and helmet three sizes too big for his fat head.
He waved at me. "Yo."
I hadn't seen him in several weeks. His arm was all better now, but he had bags under his eyes.
"Haven't you been getting your beauty sleep?" I quipped sarcastically.
Hauenkua smirked. "This is the pain of Officer Candidate School, maggot!"
"How's that going for you?" I asked, more out of politeness than anything else. The only thing I wanted to socialize with right now was my food.
"Think basic, but insane. We have to stand here all night as part of the curriculum or whatever. But hell, it'll be worth it. 'Lieutenant' Hauenkua has a better ring to it than 'Sergeant' Hauenkua, don't it? Speaking of which, have you flunked basic yet?"
"It's very nice of you that you assumed I would fail. No. I'll be graduating in a few weeks."
"Baby's first promotion. I'm so proud."
"What do you want, Hauenkua?"
"Do I have to spell it out for you? I've been standing here for hours! And you know what else? I can't leave my post. I require glucose to synthesize ATP. Feed me. F-O-O-D me."
"What."
"I have low blood sugar, you uneducated twat. Give me your cake."
"No."
"Eh? Really?" His ears deflated. He looked honestly, genuinely depressed that I refused him. "And I asked nicely, too!"
"What is your definition of 'nice'?" I nibbled another vegetable off its stick. "Maybe, if you said 'please' for once, I'd get you a slice. And why not eat an entrée beforehand? You're all… science-y. Don't you know that you need vitamins and minerals?"
"Minerals, shminerals. I only eat things that taste good. Like your girlfriend's pussy."
"HEY!" I reeled back, literally restraining my arm to resist the urge to smack him. "That was way out of line!"
"It's true." He shook his head. "You really DON'T understand humor. Someone should run a case study on you, Offenbach. But the moral of this story is I want sweets."
"No."
"Oh, come on! What do I have to do? Grovel?" His ear fur puffed out.
"Ask politely. Why is this such a foreign concept to you?"
Suddenly, Hauenkua lunged toward my plate, opening his mouth to chomp down on my food like a rabid animal. I pulled it out of the way in the nick of time and he staggered, whining.
"Don't feed the wildlife, brother."
Hauenkua recoiled and hissed at Sakuya. She didn't react to him. Pulling her dango off the stick one by one, she ate them individually and chewed, taking care not to get any stains on her dress.
"Don't mock me, Pond Scum."
Sakuya waved the sweet dumpling in front of his face. He followed it with his nose, inhaling the scent.
"Hieeeennnn," he whined. "Have mercy! When my shift is up, I'll be relegated to lukewarm cabbage soup and week-old naan! Don't do this to me!" He gave me the best puppy eyes he could muster, but my cold heart was untouched.
"Would you like to try some dango, Hien?" asked Sakuya.
I knew she was trying to bait Hauenkua. Really. That was the only reason she offered it to me. But I was still mad at him for the girlfriend thing so I accepted, shoveling the sweet ball of fat dough down my gullet.
It worked.
Hauenkua let out a pathetic whine. "Dango is my second favorite food!"
"What's the first?" Sakuya asked.
"Lollipops."
"I'll make sure everyone but you gets a lollipop by the end of the night, then."
"Sakuya! Let up on the poor thing!"
A low-pitched voice wafted up somewhere from the deepest recesses of the earth, and everyone involved except Sakuya looked down to see the newcomer. She was short and kind of fat, with blonde hair done in the traditional Shakukopolu style that nobody liked but wore anyway out of reverence for their ancestors. The intensity of her gaze was almost comical in the situation provided, and someone probably would've laughed at her if Sakuya hadn't lost her shit as she recognized her.
"Aafhas;ghdk;-Lady Kuuya!" she shrieked. "What are you doing out here-? How did you get away from your bodyguards? How-?"
What? The Emperor?
Panicking internally, I plopped myself on the ground in a motion that was supposed to be a bow. Hauenkua just stared on, looking genuinely confused.
"'Twas rather simple," said Kuuya, shrugging. Turning to me, she clapped her hands together. "That's a bit too edifying, little fella. We are not terribly accustomed to being bowed at yet. It makes us feel awkward."
"Little" fella? Look, I knew I was… longitudinally challenged, but she was one to talk!
"But you!" she admonished Hauenkua, waggling a finger in his face. "You could have at least made an effort! We appreciate the gesture nonetheless!"
"We…?" Hauenkua croaked.
"We are using the royal we!"
"Oh, I get it." Hauenkua smirked. "Are you playing Emperor, little girl?"
"Hauenkua, no…" whispered Sakuya. "She's—she's…!"
"Playing at it? We will have you know we take our duties very seriously!" Her face lit up with recognition. "Oh! So you're Hauenkua! Sakuya complains about you all the time!"
"I know."
"We now understand where she was coming from."
"Hauenkua!" I snarled between gritted teeth. "Get on the ground! That's really the Emper…!"
"Well, he's gone and wasted his chance now, hasn't he?" said Kuuya. "Do you suppose he's slow in the head and that's why he doesn't know how to bow?"
"L-L-L-Lady Kuuya!" Sakuya squeaked. "If Grandpa finds out you're gone, you'll be in so much trouble!"
"We will take our chances. It's my—we mean, our party, isn't it?"
"Yes, but… but you're not allowed to enjoy it!"
"Bullocks!"
"You have to sit on the throne and stay there all night! It's tradition! Furthermore, why aren't you wearing your headdress? You know that no commoner is allowed to see your face!"
"Well, I don't like it," snapped Kuuya, dropping the royal we in her irritation. "It's stuffy!"
"It doesn't matter if it's stuffy or not! Oh-oh-oh! Lady Kuuya! Can't you sit still for five minutes? Maybe Taro hasn't noticed yet… if you just slip back to the throne, then maybe…"
Hauenkua slowwwwlyyyyy turned his gaze to the throne, seeing no one there. Then he turned back to Kuuya. His smirk wavered like an ephemeral flame, realizing what he'd done. And then he was on the ground with me, practically groveling at her feet.
"Please don't execute me!" he begged. "I didn't realize that you were the Emperor! I was way at the back during the coronation so I couldn't see…!"
"Execute you?" Kuuya sounded genuinely flabbergasted. "Why would we do that? It's all right." She patted him on the head. "Just do better next time, okay?" Turning to Sakuya, she shook her head. "We're afraid we'll have to refuse your offer," she said succinctly. "I—we have never been outside before, so we believe we ought to make our first time something special. Furthermore, we…" She groaned. "Actually, on second thought, we have made the royal decree that the royal we is a wee bit high in difficulty, so from now on we will drop the royal we and instead speak with the royal I."
That's not how it worked, but okay.
"That's better!" Kuuya breathed a sigh of relief. "You two should get off the ground. Your clothes will get all dirty otherwise."
Hauenkua and I shot panicky glances at one another, and we scrambled to our feet, saluting.
"Criminy, you don't have to do that, either!" Kuuya extended her hand to me, and hesitantly, I took it. That was a mistake. Without warning, she shook it with centrifugal force, brightening up considerably. "I know you!" she giggled, "you're the one who played so beautifully on the pianoforte!"
"This is my brother," said Sakuya. "You know, the one I told you about?"
She got sparkles in her eyes. "Your brother? Your brother is the pianist? Wow." They widened. "Are you… are you what they call a boy?"
"I… yes?"
"That's amazing! I've met so many boys already and I didn't realize it! Hien, if it is of any comfort to you, I don't think you're that ugly."
Thanks.
"Not completely revolting, at any rate. I haven't decided on Hauenkua yet. Can I touch you?"
"Eh—EH?"
Kuuya leaned forward and got on her tippy toes, making grabby hands for me. Making me lose my balance a bit, she grabbed my cheeks and smooshed them together. She let go of me and sunk back to her position, a self-satisfied smirk on her face. "Huzzah! I've finally been intimate with a man! I am now a woman!"
"L-Lady Kuuya," whined Sakuya, "d-do you know what th-th-that means?"
Hauenkua burst out laughing. "Way to take her innocence, player!"
"I can't wait to tell everyone you were my first time!"
Oh. Oh god. Oh god oh no.
No.
Fuck.
"I—uh—sire!" I stuttered. "Why don't we keep this between us?"
"What's the matter?"
"Well, you're a little, uh, young. Perhaps it would be too shocking to others to let them know you're… uh… eheh… a… woman already?"
Kuuya deflated. "I suppose you're right. At least I know I'm a woman in my heart."
"Well, I'm telling everybody." Hauenkua had the biggest asshole grin on his face.
"Hauenkua. No. Fuck you. Don't-!"
"But the whole world needs to know you took the Emperor's maidenhood!"
"Okay, what do you want? How can I placate you?"
"I demand cake in exchange for my silence."
I let out a long, exasperated sigh and shoved my cake at him. "Fuck you."
Hauenkua only replied with a throaty chuckle between bites.
"At any rate," exclaimed Kuuya, "it's wonderful to meet some commoners! Peasants are very amusing. I can't wait to let them know the plans I have in store for this country!"
"Like not shutting up?" muttered Hauenkua beneath his breath.
"Like not shutting up, exactly!" she said. He flinched and whimpered. "It is not my job to shut up, so you're right on the nose, Hauenkua! I like you. Sakuya, why don't you like him? Kunnekamun has such a bright future!"
"You know which country you're ruling, right?" Hauenkua grumbled.
"Hauenkua, Hauenkua, it seems you are, in fact, slow in the head. Do you think I'm naïve? Of course I know of Kunnekamun's problems! That's why I wish to fix them. You see, I like to think of Kunnekamun as a bunch of ingredients for a cake."
"You what?"
"When not together, Kunnekamun's just a bunch of raw eggs and flour and baker's chocolate and stuff."
"Okay," I said.
"But when we unite as one and let our solidari… cal yeast rise and meld together in the oven of persistence, only then can we be truly delicious!"
"I'm inspired," snorted Hauenkua.
"And I am hungry! Sakuya, accompany me. Let us partake of glorious cake before Genjimaru finds me." His shouts could be heard from a distance. "Let us hasten!" She took off, and Sakuya scrambled after her. "Godspeed to you all, my new friends! I don't possibly see how hard this job could be!"
Hauenkua and I were left to our own devices, jaws agape. Turning to one another, we both let out what was on our minds in unison:
"Kunnekamun's fucked."