Chapter 5: Chapter 5

The next day, Jack was in the office and for the third day in a row he was attempting to get work done and for the third day in a row, he was failing miserably. He had postponed all advertising, executive, and union meetings to some later date so that he could focus on just getting the paper out. This was not the time for him to be strategizing the newspaper's future and trying to work out the long game.

Growing up, Jack had never expected life to be so hard. Years ago, he learned that infatuation with his then-wife was difficult, then when it had all fallen apart, he realized that hate is even harder. Now he knew that love was the most difficult of all. Love required the most of one's soul, demanded the most sacrifice, and need the most commitment.

Jack knew he would never give her up, could never leave her. He would walk away from if she asked, but God he hoped she never would.

He hadn't spoken to Jennifer since she left last night and hadn't spoken to Steve since he had dropped him off at the pier the night before last and he had then walked to Jennifer's place. It was the first time that Jack had ridden in the actual, the legendary Bluesmobile. Under just about any other circumstances, that would've made Jack exuberant.

His mind kept getting called back to the past. He remembered he had found Lawrence hassling Jennifer in her loft. The three of them had been there—Jennifer, Lawrence, and Jack. During the tense confrontation, Jack had been unaware of the secret forced upon Jennifer, keeping her connected to her attacker and away from the people who loved her.

Remembering that man's unwelcome visit, Jack grabbed the phone and dialed the number of his security agency, 1-800-PROTECT.

"Hello, this is Jack Deveraux, I want a security detail following Jennifer Horton, but I have three very important conditions that are to be absolutely carried out. 1) I do not want her to know she is being tailed. 2) If a man named Lawrence Alamain shows up to her place or tries to engage her in public, then I want you to intervene. You can spill coffee on him, you can make sure the elevator breaks down, but he is not to bother Miss Horton. That is paramount. That is the entire reason for the tail. 3) I don't want any information reported to me on her activities. Whatever she does is her own affair." After a brief pause, he answered, "Yes, you have Miss Horton's information on file from when your agency protected her last spring-."

He heard someone opening the door, looked up, and saw Steve.

"But I will fax over the necessary information on the principles. Yes, thank you, good bye." Jack finished his phone call and hung up. He debated whether he should tell Jennifer about the guard he hired. He was worried that she would realize someone was following her and it would scare her out of her wits. He wasn't sure if knowing would be a source of comfort or distress for her and needed to think on it later.

"Steve," Jack rose from his desk and circled round. "Hi. How are you?" Jack was nervous and didn't know what to say. He was worried about the potential fallout from their talk.

"I wanted to check on you," Steve said.

"I've had better days and worse ones," Jack replied. "How about you? Are you wanting to…" Jack threw up his hands, "Aww, just tell me, do you hate me now?"

Now Steve looked surprised, "Hate you? I was wondering the same. You're wearing my bruises."

Jack shook his head, "No."

"Yeah, me neither."

Both stood in silence for a few moments, "How's Jennifer?" Steve asked. He was concerned after their talk last night.

Jack closed his eyes and shook his head. "We're worse than ever. I didn't think it was possible after the slap. When I learned the truth, I had a little sliver of hope, but that's all gone now."

Now Steve was confused. What Jack was describing was nothing like Jennifer's passionate proclamations said to him last night. It then occurred to him; did Jack even know that Jennifer had come by?

"What happened?"

"I had her over for dinner. It was nice and relaxed. She relaxed. But then I told her in a roundabout way that I knew. She immediately got up to leave. I couldn't stop her so she left for about an hour and a half and then she came back. I was so glad to see her; I thought it would be okay. We didn't even need to talk about all that—I just wanted her to feel comfortable…with me. But then it all went wrong."

"How so?"

"She wanted to ask me questions—about the…umm…the man's perspective. I couldn't do that. I couldn't put those images in her mind and think we could ever be okay again."

Steve stood there shocked, but tried to ameliorate the situation, "She's desperate. She's desperate for answers. I'm sure you can understand that." Jack nodded. "Did you answer her?"

"I couldn't. I'd do just about anything for her, but last night, I just couldn't. I didn't think it would help her. I just don't want her of all people to see me that way. The rest of the world—fine, I don't care. But not her. Never her."

"See her tonight. See where you two are at. That's the only thing you can really do. But trust me on this—that woman loves you like crazy. She wants to get married and have a life with you. You will work it out." Steve stopped, readjusted his eyepatch, and grimaced, "Look, I need to tell you something. Something has been on my mind since we talked and I just need to say it. Something I should have said a long time, but I need to say it now, because I never did."

Now Jack was curious, "About Jennifer?"

"About me. I am sorry."

"For hitting me?" Jack waved it off, "God Steve, it's fine really. Besides if I had a nickel for every time you grabbed my suit lapels then I'd be twice as rich."

"That's not what I meant, but that too. No, I am sorry about Kayla."

Jack went very still. Why would ever Steve apologize to him about Kayla?

"I'm sorry that I slept with her when she was your wife."

Jack put up his hands and shook his head, "Steve, you don't really—."

"I do. I knew you were my brother. I knew how you felt about her. And we made love anyway. It was one time. We kissed several—."

"Please, Steve, it's not—."

Jack appreciated Steve making the gesture, appreciated the feelings behind it, and glad that the words were said—once. He wanted them all to move on from that.

"I betrayed you—I mean I betrayed my little brother, Billy. That's all you really were to me at the time, but it should have been enough to have…waited."

Jack did not want to think about his brother in those terms; he would not hold Steve accountable for anything in that time. He had so quickly and easily held Steve responsible for everything three years ago and it led to so many ugly repercussions. He had paid a man to beat up Steve and leave him for dead. No, Jack would not allow Steve to apologize for anything from those days.

"Stop. Just stop. You have nothing to apologize for about those days. It's all on me. Let it stay there. If I really thought what you did was so awful then I wouldn't have turned around and done it myself…with Jennifer…to Emilio. I was no better and fortunately, Emilio took the whole situation far better than I did."

Desperate to change the subject and shift all responsibility of those events back onto himself; Jack asked, "Do you remember how I was before—before I found out about you two? I would tell Kayla, you, Jo, or anyone else who would listen that I loved her like a gazillion times a day. I said 'I love you' as often as most people sneeze during allergy season and thinking back, it probably meant about as much."

Steve remembered that well. That Jack had been so needy and so annoying and had put so much responsibility of his feelings onto Kayla. As though Kayla should marry him just because she was nice.

"I realized with Jennifer that when it is real, when you are risking your whole heart, your whole soul, your whole being, then it is damn hard to say. It's the hardest thing in the world to say. "

Steve nodded. He remembered well how difficult it had been for him with Kayla.

"I guess that is my roundabout way of saying that all those thousands of times I said 'I love you' to Kayla it meant about as much as saying I love the Friday special at Wings. With Jennifer, it took me a year," Jack admitted, "after I knew it and six months after we had a our first real kiss—," Jack grinned at the memory, "which happened to be at your house."

"My house?" Steve asked surprised, "this should be good."

"Yeah. I broke into your house to look for Marina's key. Jennifer followed me—of course. I was mad she did that, but she wanted to help. Then you came home and we ducked into the secret passage."

"You know about that?"

"Yep, we were pushed up next to each other in the tight space and trying to stay quiet and then we…you know…" Jack wanted to remember those days when so much seemed so comparatively simple and their only obstacle had been Jack's insecurity. Jennifer didn't know all this current heartache yet. "In the middle of it, she dropped the little knick-knack she'd been holding. You heard that, grabbed your gun, and started looking around. You found your cat then, assumed he'd done it and we were off the hook."

Steve shook his head, "I think I remember that. So you were there? That was you."

Jack smiled. "Yes. After you were gone, we started cleaning up the mess of the dropped figurine. That's when we discovered the key among the fragments. So that's the real story about how I found the key and got to be a hero for a day."

Steve grinned back; glad to have one moment of light-hearted memory mixed in with all the painful and horrendous discussions of the past days. His smiled faded though when he saw Jack's face darken and noticed that Jack's attention was now on the door. Steve turned and saw Lawrence.

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Jack sat there staring at that man still standing in the door. His stomach started doing somersaults and he swallowed hard to keep down the rising bile in his throat. He pictured Jennifer being held in this man's vice grip, struggling, screaming, being ignored, being ogled. Seeing this man again, knowing everything, just sickened him. How could Jennifer stand it? How did Kayla stand it?

Debating how much he should reveal to him. Wondering how much of his smugness he could endure. He didn't even need to glance at Steve; he knew that his brother provided his unflinching support. Steve would referee the confrontation and even maybe rough up the Alamaniac with a bit of his trademark style for Jack's sake. Steve knew Jack couldn't indulge his baser, violent instincts. Jack thanked fate or the heavens above that Steve was here in this initial confrontation after he had learned the truth and even more grateful that Jennifer was not here.

Steve stood up and took a few steps towards this man. All of the anger he had felt the other night as he had to relive his long-buried feelings about Kayla's rape and as he helped Jack deal with the reality of Jennifer's rape came back in a fiery rush. He could now gleefully unleash that anger on the jerk before him.

No one spoke for a minute. Lawrence certainly noticed the change in Jack's demeanor since the last time he'd seen him and the look of hardened steel that was demonstrated within his brother. Lawrence came to see Jack; obviously he would need to speak first.

"Hello Jasper Jasper. Or is it Jack Deveraux? Or is it William Johnson? It is so difficult to keep track." Lawrence said coolly, giving the briefest notice to Steve—the man who had taken Bo's place on that boat and was quite fortunate to be standing here now.

Steve answered, seeing Jack's hesitancy, "Name Jack is fine."

"I've come to inquire about the Spectator."

Steve moved closer to Lawrence, their faces six inches apart.

"The Spectator is none of your business," Steve answered.

"This is quite a cute trick of ventriloquism," Lawrence smirked, "I ask a question to Mr. Deveraux and his puppet's mouth moves."

Steve smiled. If Lawrence wanted to underestimate or dismiss Steve as an adversary simply because he lacked bespoke suits and an OED vocabulary then it was at his peril. Besides, Steve immediately recognized that he was trying to split the brothers along 'class' lines. Lawrence's simplistic Divide and Conquer maneuver would not work.

"Steve is correct," Jack finally spoke. He could speak of the Spectator—not of Jennifer—not yet. "The Spectator is none of your business. However, it might serve as a meaningful model in that Spectator only publishes the truth. Truth seems somewhat nebulous to you."

"Perhaps, but I think the Spectator would do better if you had a vocal partner. You've grown lax by having a silent partner such as Ms. Colville. From what I've read, you've abandoned this paper for weeks at a time to go to Italy, on cruises, to New York, et cetera. A more stable captain would probably do better steering this ship."

"Vocal partner? Any suggestions?"

"Why myself of course. I think you would benefit as much by my tutelage as did the young Mrs. Alamain—Miss Horton, if you prefer of course."

Jack refused to rise to the challenge issued by mentioning Jennifer's name. He stayed focused on business.

"Diana won't sell to you," Jack said, doing his best to project his false confidence.

Steve spoke up, "If Diana was going to sell you her shares, then first she has to agree to sell them to you. I don't think that will happen."

Jack looked to his brother, grateful for his assistance.

"Really? She hates Mr. Deveraux and she's a smart business woman. You honestly believe she wouldn't sell to me?" Lawrence asked.

"She may hate me and with good reason. However, a few phone calls from a few of her friends here in Salem and I doubt she will sell to you. For example, she was a bridesmaid at my brother's wedding. I think she'll hate you more."

"Right. Now was that the wedding you weren't invited too? Your brother and your ex-wife had so many wedding dates listed on my fact sheet that I lost track. I must say it is…inspirational…the way you two have set aside your differences. I was expecting more like Cain and Abel between you two instead of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern."

Steve understood the biblical reference, but not the Shakespearean one. Jack got the insult and moved closer to Lawrence to get into his face.

"I must say, it is quite inspirational how you two get along so well. Steve cuckolds you, you forcibly consummate your marriage with your wife who is really his woman, and yet here you are now as one big happy family. There is so much wife-swapping between you brothers that one might think this forgettable Kayla Johnson was Queen Catherine of Aragon."

At the mention of Kayla's name, Steve reached up and grabbed Lawrence's face, "You don't speak of my wife, ever, or you'll be in trouble."

Lawrence appeared unimpressed with Steve's threats, "Really. You'll risk your entire future with the Salem PD because I mention Kayla? After your unfortunate accident last October out in the harbour, you should really be more careful. You could lose your family or your family could lose you in an instant."

Steve grabbed Lawrence by the lapels and pushed him up against Jack's office door. Jack hated intervening, but he rushed forward and got in between them. He nudged Steve back a step and slightly elbowed Lawrence in the gut.

Lawrence straightened out his suit, "Good idea, Jasper, to intercede between your guard dog and me. But I must say, that now that I know the full fascinating story about you two, I understand better why you naturally gravitated towards someone…inexperienced and virginal like Jennifer. Someone with no knowledge of men and unable to know your…shortcomings. You didn't want your girlfriend to be dissatisfied by comparing you to other men…like your own wife preferred your own brother for example. And who can blame you, really? But I am sure that Jennifer isn't quite so excited with you anymore—now that she has known better. Am I correct?"

Jack, who had been looking at Steve and worried about his reaction to Lawrence's implied threats towards his family by mentioning the boat explosion last fall, now turned to Lawrence and in shock. He knew Lawrence was vile, a monster, but did he truly just throw his rape of Jennifer into Jack's face?

In Jack's shock, he loosened his grip on Steve. With that, Steve circled round him and shoved Lawrence up against the wall once more. Steve wasn't going to allow anyone, least of all this filthy monster in front of him to undermine his hard-won relationship with his brother or to insult his brother with the most intimate and personal insults.

Jack, realizing the shift, brought his attention back to Lawrence and Steve, though he realized now that Steve was trying to defend him. Once more he pushed Steve back and tried to think of a way to tell Steve in that moment that nothing Lawrence could say would break him. Jack had one hand on Steve's chest and another on Lawrence's, but then turned round to face only Steve, removed his hands and started using sign language.

At first, Steve looked at Jack strangely. It took Steve a moment to realize that Jack was trying to communicate and Steve was rusty on his sign language. Jack, while not perfect, did get his point across, wordlessly.

"I am okay now. Don't risk your police job. We will get him."

Steve signed, "Okay." And it left Steve wondering, when the hell did Jack learn sign language?

Lawrence was confused by the sudden change and what secret code the two brothers were using.

Jack turned his attention back to Lawrence. He would not speak of the rape with this man, certainly not before he had spoken to Jennifer. "You should take a look at your own life. You can't get a woman to marry you unless it's under someone else's name. Who would marry you as herself?" Jack looked Lawrence up and down; he was feeling strengthened with his brother behind him. "Jennifer only agreed to that to spare her friend from doing it—trying to spare her best friend a fate worse than death—being married to you. And of course, you threatened her good friend, Francois. That's the only way you can get a woman to agree—through blackmail. Through force—." Jack stopped himself there. "It's best you go. You won't accomplish your goals today. Best to cut your losses."

Lawrence looked back and forth between Jack and Steve, just now realizing that these two together could make a formidable enemy. They were both motivated, driven, capable, and dangerous-each in their own ways. Nevertheless, Lawrence knew the best defense was a good offense and he knew how to be as offensive as possible.

"That's good advice to take for yourself, Jasper. You might wish to be grateful with your present circumstances before you lose anything more. You might also want to be sure of your allies. Jennifer might just repeat history and turn to your brother as she turned to me."

Lawrence gave another long look at the Johnson brothers, "Good day, gentlemen," he said as he turned and left.

After Lawrence left and the door was closed, Jack looked to Steve and implored him, "Please don't tell me that I was ever as bad that." Jack was pointing at the door. "I know I was a jerk, but was I that big of a jerk?"

Pretty damn close, Steve thought. However, looking in his brother's eyes, he couldn't confirm it. "Not quite," Steve hedged.

Jack looked up at the ceiling, took a long breath and then sat on the edge of the desk. Feeling deflated with the drop in adrenalin, that he had relied so heavily on his brother, and that he hadn't stood up more aggressively to that jerk. He RAPED Jennifer and Jack was still so damnably polite to him. His father would be so proud of him—the perfect product of the perfect political upbringing. Jack was so pissed and angry at himself. He had made that vow of non-violence-although with very good reason of course. However, he couldn't help but feel castrated right now.

For the last year or so as he set himself firmly on this path towards redemption and a better life, he always asked himself in a lot of different situations: How would Steve react? Well in this case, he knew how Steve would react (and had one kidney to prove it!) and yet he had done nothing. And had even stopped his brother when he was going to give Lawrence what he deserved.

Steve interrupted his thoughts. "I'm sorry about what Lawrence said…about you. You know it's not true—like he said. But I wish I'd never gave him any ammunition to use against you—to hurt you."

Jack shrugged like he didn't matter. He didn't want Steve feeling any more responsibility.

"I've got to ask, when did you learn sign language?" Steve asked, still amazed. There were so many other things to be said and recounted, but that question just rushed out.

Jack looked embarrassed; he had wanted to diffuse the tense situation with Lawrence but he didn't really want to admit why he had learned. "Three years ago, when Kayla was injured and couldn't hear. I heard that she was learning sign language and I wanted to be able to communicate with her," Jack's face shadowed over, "And then I realized, she would never want to communicate with me and I felt embarrassed that I had gone to all that trouble. So I never let on that I had learned. I was never as proficient as you and Kayla anyway."

Steve looked at Jack astounded; there was so much, even from all those years ago, that he still didn't know about his brother. Except for Kim, no one in Kayla's family had bothered to learn sign language so they could talk and understand Kayla. And yet, with all of the horrible feelings on all sides, Jack had still wanted to be included in Kayla's life and to be able to reach her if she ever needed him. For some reason, perhaps all the confessions from the other night, Jack finally felt it was time to let Steve know that he had learned sign language all those years ago when things were so awful between them.

Regardless of how Jack tried to diminish his feelings now for Kayla—since they were a pale shadow of his love for Jennifer or Steve's love for Kayla—he had cared deeply for her. And yet here was the ultimate contradiction against that. You don't rape somebody you love. If you love somebody, then you don't rape them. Therefore, the obvious conclusion was that Jack did not love Kayla just for the simple fact that he had raped her. On one hand there was that inviolable truth and on the other hand, Steve knew that Jack somehow, someway, had genuinely cared for Kayla.

"Steve," Jack broke through his thoughts, "don't take this personally, but after all this, I just have to get out of here. I have to go."

Before Steve could respond, Jack was gone.

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Jennifer had an awful morning. Dan gave her a remote assignment on the other side of town. That meant riding out in the news van with the cameraman—being with this near-stranger, all alone for a 45-minute ride each way. Before Alamania, it would have meant nothing. Now she was anxious and on edge the entire time. When they got to the remote location, she had been flustered and nervous because she hadn't prepared properly in the van. She'd been too preoccupied with the cameraman. He was 25, good-looking, with dark hair and an approximate resemblance to Lawrence. And it was clear that he found her attractive. Normally she'd wave off the attention as irrelevant, now it was all-consuming and the paranoia overwhelmed all her thoughts and sense.

After her disastrous performance on location, the guy didn't seem as much into her as before, but the damage professionally and emotionally was done. Jennifer was a wreck when they finally arrived back at the WATB studio. The only thing she wanted to do was run to her grandmother and try to get her to soothe away all of her heartaches.

At the hospital, Jennifer rushed to the nurse's station and called out to the nurse standing there with her head buried in a patient's file, "Hi, have you seen Alice Horton, my grandmother?"

The nurse looked up and didn't answer with the urgency and immediacy that Jennifer had wanted so her frustration grew as the nurse lackadaisically thought and then addressed her question. "Hmmm, I saw her earlier…where was that? Umm, right. She's in a meeting of the hospital volunteers. It should be over at lunchtime."

"Thanks," Jennifer replied, annoyed, and then felt instantly guilty for her tone.

Kayla had inadvertently watched the exchange and with Jennifer's demeanor, knew that they needed to have a talk. Kayla circled wide around her, not wanting to sneak up behind or startle her by putting her hand on Jennifer's arm or shoulder.

"Hi Jennifer, can I buy you a cup of coffee?" Kayla asked when she came into Jennifer's view.

"Kayla, hi." Oh goodness, not today, please. "I really can't today. I have to get back to the station."

Kayla held out her arm and started ushering Jennifer into the staff break room. No one else was in there so they had some privacy to talk, "Ten minutes."

"I really can't." Jennifer objected again.

"Ten minutes please. I buy only the best coffee," Kayla said with a grin as she poured two cups from the communal coffee pot and sat them both on the table.

Jennifer relented and sat down, dreading this conversation, not knowing what Steve had said to Kayla. She really didn't want to discuss Kayla's past experience and hoped to God that Kayla would not bring it up.

"Jennifer," Kayla began, "do you realize we almost became sisters when I got engaged to your brother Mike?"

Jennifer smiled and nodded, relieved she wasn't bringing up anything painful…yet.

"And then when you were with my brother Frankie and I thought there might be a chance then. But fate has its own ideas and now you're happily engaged to Jack. I'm so excited that soon we will finally be sisters." Kayla reached over and squeezed Jennifer's hand.

"Thanks Kayla, I'm so glad you see it that way," Jennifer replied, feeling grateful that Kayla was acting so positive and assured about her marriage with Jack.

"Well, don't go thanking me yet. There is a very important requirement of sisters and that is that we must be totally and completely honest with each other."

"Kayla, I—."

"So, as such, you must truthfully confirm that Stephanie is the cutest, sweetest little girl ever. And as family, you just have to look through all these photos of my daughter." Kayla, sporting a giant proud smile, pulled out a huge stack of 4"x6" photos from her purse.

"Oh, of course," Jennifer replied, feeling profoundly relieved at the shift in conversation.

Kayla showed her the photo on top, "Here's a really cute one of Stephanie grabbing at Steve's patch…"

"Awww," Jennifer exuded, "She's adorable. She's really has the cutest little nose."

"And here's one of her showing me a rose that Steve got for me, here she's wearing a cute French beret that Jack bought her." Kayla was slowly working down the stack.

Hearing about Jack's gift, Jennifer took a closer look at that photo; it was a stylish black-and-white hound's-tooth design. "That's precious," she didn't know he'd done that shopping and presumed he'd gotten the beret because of the French origin of his last name.

Kayla continued, "Here she's got a spoon stuck up her sleeve. I swear, I don't know how she managed to do that."

"Awww, I love that about kids. You get to be a hero to them about a dozen times a day."

"Here she's flinging smashed peas at Sean-Douglas."

"Now that reminds me more of Steve than you," Jennifer joked. When Jennifer started looking at the photos, she just couldn't focus. However, the images just drew her in to Stephanie's tiny world. The little girl was so precious and beguiling and in that moment, Jennifer had a strong intuition that her first born would also be a girl.

Kayla stopped for a second. "I must tell you, my little family with Steve and Stephanie—it's everything to me. We are so happy together. I would do anything, give anything, survive anything for what we have together. I sometimes have to pinch myself just to confirm that yes, I am getting to have this amazing life with them."

Jennifer nodded, realizing Kayla's roundabout intentions. Kayla knew about Jennifer's rape, was not going to mention the word rape, but instead show that there was definitely a happy life after rape. Silently thanking her for her sensitive tactic, Jennifer settled in to see more pictures of Stephanie. Kayla didn't patronize her and didn't baby her. She just acted like everything was normal and would be okay.

Kayla turned her attention back to the photos. "Here's Stephanie holding on to the coffee table as she's 'cruising'—that's the stage before walking as she's able to stand and move but only holding onto stuff for balance, here's a really funny one of Steve wearing applesauce all over his face, compliments of Stephanie of course."

Jennifer chuckled, "I'm sensing a pattern here of Stephanie and throwing food."

"You know, when I'm with Stephanie, I sometimes just can't help to remember my darker times." Jennifer's face clouded over so Kayla quickly went on, "I was sitting all alone in a prison cell, not sure when I would get to be a momma again to this precious little girl. I remember being alone in the hotel room in Australia while Steve was out chasing leads when she'd been kidnapped. I wondered if we'd ever get to be a family again. Those were dark times when I felt really isolated and alone, like there was no one else in the world who I could talk to and who would understand how I felt. But time and strength-of-will are really great healers for those dark days I had. I found untapped reserves of my own personal strength that I didn't know I had," Kayla's face that had turned serious, brightened once more, "And that is all behind me now. I had to work hard—very hard, actually—to not allow Stephanie's kidnapper or the sentencing judge to steal my joy and my future. I would not allow them to steal that essential part of myself that I knew was me."

Jennifer smiled, "Thank you. I appreciate you showing me your pictures." Kayla knew that Jennifer meant so much more with that statement.

Kayla waved it off, "I'm always looking for a captive audience. Between buying film and the money to get these developed, I'm spending a small fortune on photos. I want to get my money's worth. Showing my soon-to-be sister-in-law is part of the fun of being a mom."

"And I appreciate one other thing—that you've never tried to discourage me from being your sister-in-law."

Kayla looked up and measured Jennifer, unsure of how deep and dicey Jennifer wanted to go; she was determined to keep this light. "Jennifer you are an intelligent, compassionate self-aware woman. I have every confidence in your ability to make the best decisions for your life. You don't need any unsolicited advice from me."

Kayla, intent on changing the subject, wanted to bring Jennifer's focus back, "Now, I do have a super serious, super important question to ask you."

Jennifer was unsure where this was going, "Okay…"

"Since we're practically sisters now," Kayla smiled and Jennifer smiled back. She felt so appreciative that Kayla was being so positive about their engagement. They would work through these seemingly insurmountable issues and would marry. Jennifer wanted to reach across and tackle Kayla in a hug, but played it cool, the same way Kayla was playing it. "Please help with Stephanie's first birthday party. Jo and my mom will help of course, but it would be such fun for me if you would help too. Aunt Adrienne and Aunt Kim are both out of town, so I could really use Aunt Jen's help. If you're too busy with work, then I totally understand though…"

"No, no. I would love to help. Truly, I love doing this sort of thing. It will be such fun and I could really use the diversion…" Jennifer winced and that inadvertently hung in the air for a few seconds.

"Great! First birthdays are obviously more for the grownups than the kids of course, but we almost lost Steve last fall. It scares me to think how close we came so I want to make sure this birthday is done up right because Steve came so incredibly close to missing it entirely."

"Well, thank goodness, he didn't," Jennifer agreed.

Kayla looked down at her stack of photos, "Do you have a photo of Stephanie yet?"

Jennifer shook her head.

Kayla flipped through the photos until she reached the one of Stephanie wearing Jack's beret. "Have this one." Kayla glanced at her watch, "I better get going. I have some more experiments to run if I'm going to see Steve at the Heart when I promised. If you're able to catch your grandmother, please tell her I said hello and I'll phone you about Stephanie's party." Kayla rose up, kissed Jennifer on top of her head, and was gone.

Sisters. I never had one. Jennifer was thinking after Kayla left, still astounded at her 'sister's' sensitivity, compassion, and grace.