Jennifer was alone working in the WATB video library going through some archival footage for an upcoming news story. Several days had passed since she had gone with Jack to Dr. Baker's. They hadn't spoken since that day. Jennifer knew that Jack was waiting, patiently waiting, for her to contact him. She wasn't trying to be cruel to Jack and she really hoped he knew that.

While there in the WATB video library, she spotted a video on a shelf she hadn't noticed before; it was labeled: 'Deveraux, Jack —1988'. She stared at it for a long moment. 1988 was a cataclysmic year for Jack she knew and much of it had played out on the news. Many moments in his life that hadn't mattered to her at the time now took on vital importance for her now and for her future. How much had been captured by the news cameras? Curiosity got the better of her and she grabbed the videotape off the shelf and slid it into the machine.

The video started out with several campaign speeches; on the docks, at the hospital, at his campaign headquarters. Jack looked and sounded so idealistic, so golden. She hadn't known him well in those days and seeing him so optimistic and open was a revelation. She knew many politicians from being a journalist and had to sit through several of their boring speeches filled with platitudes or self-serving diatribes. Jack's speeches were nothing like that. His campaign speeches had been passionate, genuine, and honest. If that earnest Jack had been able to continue on in politics, then he would have been an amazing statesman, a legendary diplomat. She mourned the loss of him. She watched those campaign speeches with a fearful sense of foreboding and melancholy. She knew what was coming. She knew that Jack—that 'pre-election-night Jack—was about to disappear forever. Jack was about to be forever changed. She wondered once more what might have been for Jack if he hadn't derailed his life from this promising trajectory; she hoped they would have still fallen in love. But that Jack wouldn't have known quite the same darkness and hell. She had seen glimpses of that golden Jack, but the caustic, sarcastic, though infinitely loveably and infinitely more self-aware Jack was his dominant personality now.

Then the compilation video showed Jack on election night. Harper, Angelica, and a brief glimpse of Steve showed they were beaming with pride at his win. Jack was exuberant and exultant in the interview. The next camera shot show a haunted look on Jack's face. His eyes looked dead and there wasn't the slightest hint of a smile. Jack knew. He could barely look at Kayla.

Jennifer felt guilty. She was snooping into his past. Knowing the circumstances in hindsight of everything that had happened, she wanted to freeze frame the video in that moment. Stop time. Change what had happened. For Kayla's sake. For Jack's sake. Jack was about to descend into the very pit of hell and Jennifer wanted desperately to stop him and to protect him from himself.

But time inexorably marches onward. The next video cut was from his inaugural speech on the waterfront. His eyes were hard now. Kayla was there; her eyes were darting around as though desperately looking for someone. Jennifer didn't fully understand the circumstances of why Kayla was there with Jack. By this time, the rape had already occurred, Jennifer knew. Jack was different than he had been during the election campaign. Now he looked like a cold-hearted politician. Jennifer had seen Jack occasionally during this period because he was dating Melissa, but she had never really studied or examined him. At the time, she saw him as absolutely gorgeous of course, but had never considered him beyond that.

Then there was a press conference of Jack with Angelica in the hospital. He was saying that although he had fallen three stories and needed a kidney transplant that he was fine, better than ever, and eager to get back to serving the people of Salem. He had the smooth veneer and politician mask in this video clip and it didn't reveal much about who he was.

The next video clip was showing the corridor at the courthouse. Instinctually, Jennifer hit the pause button as she debated her options. Jack was at the courthouse for the pre-trial hearing on the rape charges. She knew her Uncle Mickey was the district attorney prosecuting Jack. She knew the judge would find sufficient evidence to proceed to trial. She knew Jack would offer and Kayla would accept a guilty plea for assault with a suspended jail sentence. The freeze frame on the video monitor showed Jack squaring off against Steve and Kayla. The news camera looked close to them, close enough to pick up their conversation and allow Jennifer to eavesdrop. She steeled herself for what she was about witness and pressed play:

"Why don't you forget about this whole thing and save yourself a lot of pain and anguish?" Jack had said.

"Why don't you get out of here?" Steve said.

"You want to play hardball Kayla? I can do that. You haven't even begun to see what I can do." Jack said.

Jennifer shut the video off. This Jack. This Jack on the video screen. She had never seen this Jack before. His eyes were cold and vicious. He was nasty. The vision was stunning and shocking her to her core. She had heard about this Jack, but she had not seen and therefore she had not truly known. But now, there he was in this freeze-framed image before her. It amazed her once more that Jack and Steve had ever been able to reconcile and that Kayla was comfortable with him now.

Steve, Kayla, and Jack had all endured that horrific ordeal, each in their own way. These three had somehow, almost miraculously, had been able to forage their way back to being a family. She was on the outside, looking in, and not fully understanding all the intricacies of the relationships. But she understood Jack. She knew Jack and she knew how much he had wanted Steve in his life. She knew how much Kayla loved Steve to allow this. Jack had accomplished the impossible in his life. He had rebuilt his life, rebuilt himself, and had become a man redeemed and esteemed in the eyes of those he had hurt the most.

Jennifer realized the moral strength and strength of will that, having fallen into the abyss. Jack had found the ability to crawl and scratch and claw his way out of it once more. That realization was even more stunning. That the cold heartless eyes she was seeing in this video had been transformed into the warm loving eyes that she now knew. That was powerful—as powerful as a blind man being able to see once more.

She respected Jack. Not for what he had been of course, but for being that man he had been and then becoming the warm-hearted man that she knew and loved.

She looked down at her engagement ring. She wasn't engaged to the cold, snide man on the screen, she hadn't given herself to that man. Seeing that man, seeing that recording as Jack had been. Seeing his eyes, hearing him speak, she knew profoundly, utterly that man no longer existed and she should really, truly not harbor any misgivings about committing her life to him. She knew that in her head, her heart, her gut. She wanted to see Jack, throw her arms around him and say she was sorry for staying away.

But she still couldn't. She was still holding herself back. Despite this realization and acceptance of sorts, she still couldn't find her way forward or her way back to Jack.

And yet she still loved him and his ring remained on her finger.

At that moment, the video librarian came back in from her lunch break. "Hi Jennifer. Find everything you need?"

Jennifer quickly shut off the video screen and ejected the tape and surreptitiously returned it to its spot on the shelf. She didn't want to get caught watching that tape and get rumors started that would get back to Jack.

"Yes. Everything is fine. Thanks. I'm all done here." Then Jennifer recalled the memory that had been bothering her since she came back to work—the incident at the wedding dress shop where she had been shrieking and had smacked some unfortunate guy for getting flirty with his girlfriend. Ever since returning to work, she had caught people whispering about her or quickly shutting up when she entered the room. Jennifer needed to see the video evidence, see how badly she had acted at the wedding dress shop, and know what was surely getting circulated around like last month's Playboy. Jennifer tried not feeling embarrassed at the thought of the video being out there, but it really couldn't be helped.

"Shirley, do you have the video from the wedding story shoot?"

Shirley looked confused. "How do you mean?"

"C'mon. The one that got me suspended for three days? I know it got recorded."

Shirley's eyes looked sad and sympathetic. "There are no tapes. At least not here at the studio. You'd have to ask your boyfriend."

Now Jennifer was confused. "You mean Jack?"

"Yeah. He paid top dollar for them and called in a lot of favors to make sure that he got every last copy." Shirley gave a rueful smile, "Must be nice. I can't even get my boyfriend to pay for a nice dinner at Wings."

Jennifer sat there stunned. She hadn't known. Jack certainly hadn't told her. This whole time… God he loved her. He was an amazing man. And then a tiny part of her conscience had to sneak in a tiny word, one tiny but devastating word: now. He was an amazing man…now. Some small part of her kept sowing in that tiny seed of doubt and impermanence by qualifying his incredible qualities. She wanted to say that he was an amazing man…period. And that was really the crux of the issue holding her back. It was wrong. It was unfair, she knew. But was it deserved? She still was grappling with her conscience. Her heart, her head, and her gut were assured and resolved. Her conscience was still conflicted.

However, in her gut, she needed to see him.

Jennifer struggled out of her problems. She owed Shirley at least some basic pleasantries, "Thanks Shirley. I appreciate knowing that."

Jennifer rose up and headed out. She would spend her lunch hour over at the Spectator office.

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Jack had returned from Europe the day before and was still struggling with jet lag and struggling with what to do with this newfound knowledge. He had taken his brother's advice and used this time that Jennifer was keeping her distance to do some investigative searching into Lawrence's past. And good God, had he definitely succeeded.

He found it. This information was potent and powerful. Jack wasn't sure how to use it or even if he should. If Jack needed to bargain with the devil, he didn't really want to involve someone so innocent. Jack would sit on this volatile information and wait to use such news if it was ever warranted. Jack did feel more confident though. He had wondered how such a man as Lawrence could be worked on. What could Jack find that he could use as leverage over such a man as this? Jack now had his answer. He'd keep this sensitive information to himself for now and not even reveal his trip's success to Steve.

Jack was trying to focus on catching up at work, but it was difficult. Nothing felt right in his life anymore if things weren't right with Jennifer. He was giving her space and letting her make her choice, but this waiting, and especially the not-knowing was making everything worse.

If she would just give some sign that this was temporary and that they would find their way back to each other, well, that would mean everything.

Jennifer walked through the door at that moment. Jack looked skyward. He normally didn't believe in God or fate, but sometimes Jennifer just made him doubt his pessimistic beliefs and tendencies and sometimes wonder if there was really a God.

He tore his gaze from her beautiful face down to her left hand to answer a very important question. Yes, the ring was still there. He audibly exhaled in relief.

Dum spiro, spero. While I breathe, I hope.

"Jack," Jennifer tentatively plunged forward. "I wanted to see you."

Jack slightly nodded, but Jennifer could tell he was hurting from his eyes. She hated what she was doing. He had opened up about his past. He hadn't wanted to but she had opened the door and he went through it only because she had asked him. And how did she respond? By pulling back. By punishing him with silence. She wanted to run into his arms and kiss him partially for her sake but mostly for his sake. But she had to fix herself first. She was getting lost in the midst of all this worry about Jack and Jack's past. As tough and seemingly cruel as it was, she needed to get right with this and work through it instead of pushing away her feelings because it was painful. She hated this. She hated causing him pain but she didn't know a better way out of this except to just go through it. She hoped it was okay to come by and see him even if she wasn't ready to commit again.

"You wanted to see me—at the office?" His unspoken question was if she wanted to resume staying over at the penthouse.

"Yes," was Jennifer's ambiguous reply.

Jack's face fell slightly, but he quickly recovered. "if you've been trying to reach me, I just go back from Europe."

"Europe? Doing what?" Jennifer was surprised; she hadn't realized that she let them drift that far apart.

"Research for a story."

Jennifer let him stay vague. She knew if he wanted to tell her, then he would. "Diana called me. Lawrence had contacted her again about selling her shares of the Spectator to him. I asked her not to sell to him under any circumstances and she assured me that she never would."

Jack nodded. The paper didn't seem as important as it once did, but keeping it away from Lawrence was of paramount importance. He was glad that Lawrence's threat about the Spectator could be neutralized so easily.

"I told her," Jennifer continued. "I told her what Lawrence did…to me. She's one of the first people I told…that didn't already know, I mean. I guess it was easier over the phone."

"Good. You need more people around you to help you than just…me. I'm glad for that."

Jennifer pointed at the office door behind her, "Umm, would you like to go to the park and have a walk?"

Jack loved that she asked. Loved that she was reaching out to him. He'd say yes to anything. "Yes. Of course." He went for his scarf, gloves, and overcoat and held the door open for her as they left.

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Jennifer and Jack migrated to the park. Their conversation stayed on mundane, safe topics much like they had done after Jack learned that she had been raped and before she felt prepared to discuss it. She didn't offer why she felt it necessary to stay away or what had compelled her to come visit him in his office. She chose not to offer and Jack decided to respect that choice.

They were walking close to the ice skating rink. "Want to ice skate?" Jennifer asked, looking for something where they could be together and yet not be intense or need to talk. Despite everything, she still felt the overpowering aching need to be near him.

"You sure?" Jack asked hesitantly. Choosing a pastime that involved getting dirty and cold and most likely looking clumsy was not high on Jack's list of desirable things to do. However, he wanted to be with Jennifer more than he hated sports. At least it wasn't a pick-up game of basketball among the reporters at the Spectator—he loathed that.

Jennifer really tried to sell the idea, "Every winter we deal with the cold and the ice and scraping the car for 10 minutes before getting to drive anywhere and have to rush from heated building to heated car to heated store. Ice skating is one of the few good things about winter after Christmas is over."

Jack wanted to caution her, "Okay, but remember, ice skating is all about slipping and trying not to fall and needing to hold on to someone for balance and grabbing on to someone when you lose your balance. I'm not that great at ice skating and therefore could lose my balance a lot and grab…at you…a lot," Jack put up his hands, "Totally because of the ice skating, of course." Jack was determined to act as optimistic and light-hearted as she did. Even if it was just a front for her. Even though it was definitely just a front for him. She was reaching out to him and needed him right now. If that meant ice skating and acting like he was carefree, then he was damn well going to do it.

"I am forewarned, but I am a great skater. I'll help you keep your balance," Jennifer gave him a small shy smile. She liked the idea of helping him out just a little with all the help he had given her. Ice skating is a lot like life, Jennifer thought. If she slipped, he's there; when he loses his balance, she's there. You could do it alone and with enough practice and patience, do well enough alone. But it's far better with someone to hold on to and she sincerely, truly wanted to hold on to Jack.

"Okay, we're agreed then; let's go ice skating," Jack tried to inject some enthusiasm. It was progress for sure. But would you like some hot chocolate to warm you up before we get our skates?"

Jennifer was feeling hopeful, "Sounds great."

"Really?" Jack asked; he didn't really want to test her, but he did want to know the boundaries. "Take my hand," he held his hand aloft, challenging her.

Jennifer saw what he needed; he needed to know if she would still be willing to touch him at all, knowing what she knew now. If even the thought of holding his hand was repellant, then ring or no ring, there really was no hope for them at all.

Jennifer didn't look into his eyes, she was worried what she might communicate with her eyes—promises she wasn't ready for or indictments that she truly didn't feel. She didn't smile either, but she brought her hand to his and gripped him tightly. Hope for the future was in that grasp.

"Okay," Jack didn't comment on the grand ramifications of her simple gesture; instead he just took her by her hand and dashed towards the concession stand. It was enough to have a light-hearted moment of freedom and joy before the impending storm.

They were halfway there when Jennifer stopped cold in her tracks. Jack turned back to look at her, but she wasn't looking at him. Her eyes were unblinking and hard. He was confused by the sudden and profound change in her demeanor. He followed her gaze and turned back around.

There stood Lawrence.

Jack did a quick check around for the security detail that was supposed to be trailing Jennifer and preventing this exact encounter. He had heard from the agency that they had aborted several of Lawrence's attempts to bother her. They had spilled hot coffee on him a few times, disabled the elevator in her loft building with him trapped inside, tripped him, even put a cream pie in his face. He had laughed to hear of all the ways they were stopping Lawrence and laughing at the thought of the jerk's dry cleaning bill, but still was concerned that there had been so many attempts by Lawrence to harass her.

Unfortunately, this was probably a chance encounter, not one by Lawrence's design, and the security guard simply didn't have time to react.

Jack gripped tight on Jennifer's hand and moved to angle himself between Jennifer and Lawrence. Every word that Jennifer used to describe the attack came flooding back in an instant—the blood on the wedding dress, the Lord's Prayer, Lawrence blackmailing her to get the Von Leuschner fortune.

Nausea crept through Jennifer's body. Anger followed closely behind. She realized though with amazement and gratitude that there was no fear. She didn't fear him anymore. He no longer was able to keep physical or mental control over her. She had broken those chains. She saw that Jack had tried to position himself between her and Lawrence and she appreciated that he wanted to shield her, but she stepped out from behind him. She didn't want to hide behind him or give Lawrence the impression that she needed to do so. Her steely, unblinking gaze was firmly measured at Lawrence. She held tight to Jack's hand though; that visible show of solidarity, despite everything, meant everything to her and she knew it meant a lot to Jack and she hoped it symbolized nearly as much to Lawrence.

Jennifer knew this was going to be bad when Lawrence started off with a smug tone, "Well, if it isn't my beautiful wife. It's so wonderful seeing you even if you're holding hands with another man. I don't mind. We can share," Lawrence winked at Jack.

"I'm not your wife. You don't know how to treat a wife," Jennifer replied back.

Jack remembered that Kayla had said almost the same words to him years before. This voyage into the past was difficult and getting more difficult with each passing day. However, Jennifer was worth it. Jennifer was worth everything. He also remembered how much he trouble he had caused for Kayla when he resisted granting her the divorce. He was glad that he had ultimately relented and surprised her with a quick, no-contest divorce but it took a near tragedy for Jack to finally put all his anger against her to rest. Jack couldn't sense any anger in Lawrence though; for him, this was just about his arrogant, almost sociopathic disdain and unconcern for the feelings of others.

"Oh, but you are my wife. Properly wedded and bedded," Lawrence turned to face Jack, "I see from your reaction that Jennifer already divulged to you about our night of passion. She was quite the—what's the American word—hellcat, left scratches all over me, but those have long since healed. I hope Jack that, unlike when you heard about your wife, you didn't take that information…badly."

Jack chose to ignore that allusion to his prior history. This encounter with Lawrence was bad enough for Jennifer already. He didn't need to make it worse.

Jennifer was disgusted, "It was not passion; you forced yourself on me. You raped me."

"Oh, I think you have me mixed up with that gentleman," Lawrence pointed at Jack. "If I had truly done that, then I wouldn't expect you to be gripping his hand so tightly—he actually pled guilty to rape, isn't that right, Jasper?" Lawrence tsked at them with his tongue. "Jennifer, you really should not project your insecurities about your boyfriend on to me."

Jennifer released Jack's hand and pointed her finger in Lawrence's face, "You can deny the truth all you want, but you can't change it. You don't scare me anymore."

Jack felt her fingers slipping away from him, but didn't comment on it, just stared at his own empty hand and missing Jennifer's hand that had been there moments earlier. That tiny gesture—the withdrawal—felt momentous—felt permanent.

"Good darling, scaring you is the last thing I'd ever want to do. You know what you need to accomplish to bring about our divorce. However, if you fail and we are unable to obtain our divorce, then I would be quite satisfied with that eventuality. Nothing sounds sweeter than being joined to you forever. Like many aristocratic couples, I wouldn't expect to have a modern sort of love marriage. We would only need to come together occasionally in order to create an heir, but those occasions shall be…such bliss."

With that, both Jack and Jennifer had enough. Jack stepped forward to intervene and got between Lawrence and Jennifer. Jack stared at him; his eyes got cold, dark, and intimidating. He remembered well how he used to look at people and treat people. He could draw upon that memory and duplicate it now. Both Jennifer and Lawrence noticed that change. Jack's eyes were now vacant, now chilling.

Lawrence avoided Jack's eyes and turned his attention back to Jennifer, "Jennifer, I do hope we can come to an amicable settlement. You achieve the only thing I am asking and I will sign our divorce papers without delay. Good day."

Lawrence turned around and left, walking back the direction he came from. Jack stared after him until he was well out of sight. Only then did Jack allow his unsettling and disturbing mask to fall away. He turned to face Jennifer fully, "Are you okay?" He wanted to reach out and touch her, caress her cheek, but under the current circumstances, he didn't dare.

Jennifer nodded; grateful to see Jack go to such lengths to try to protect her from Lawrence, but to see him transform so quickly, even though it was for her benefit and only against a monster like Lawrence, was disturbing to her as well.

Their carefree afternoon was ruined of course. Jennifer just wanted to flee and get back to the TV station. She knew it wasn't fair, but she just wanted to be gone from the situation.

Their afternoon plans had gotten derailed, but Jennifer felt good about how she had spoken to Lawrence. She didn't cower; she didn't get flustered. She had stood up to him. If she could do it that one time, it gave her confidence that she could do it again and more often. Jennifer was determined to revel in that adrenalin rush and her temporary feeling of confidence. She knew it would be short-lived and the nightmares probably would reappear tonight—nevertheless, two steps forward, one step back is still moving forward.