AN~ Oh, crap, I was supposed to do this last chapter! Sorry! Anyway, everyone should go check out KrissM3's 'A Good Life' and review, 'cause she's not feeling the love, people. And it's a good story. I know. I'm betaing it. And in what universe does a story get nominated for best of the year and not receive enough reviews to make the author feel appreciated? Shame, people.

MrsCullen: I've been writing. I had to take longer to make sure I didn't rush through it, because I wanted to make sure I'd have fun with all of it instead of just the action-ey parts.

kgirl: Thanks for the review! Sorry I took a bit to update, I was kind of at a retreat and then I went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art, and I was reading the entries for best of the year.

CheersDrinkToThat: Sorry, but I DO have stuff to do other than write this, so I probably won't write much faster. But I'm glad you like it!

Midnight Always: Thanks!

PUCKABRINA: Umm... that means you like it, right?

Pixiedust3: Well, it's a global website. :) I mean, elligoat is from Australia. I don't really know how long it's going to be, but I think it's over halfway done. Oh, you're a review winner! Whatcha want?

squrriel101: Thank YOU for the review! :) I missed them! And yeah, this is paralleling the books, I think I said it would a while ago. The WHOLE story isn't 'Never Gonna Happen', just parts of it. That's another reason I need a better name for it. It's misleading.

ANannyMouse: I review like that all the time! Helps me remember what I want to say. I didn't HATE book 8 (hah, rhyme), but it was definitely a step backwards from the epic of book 7. Thanks! I'll fix that. They are building up to something. If I was NORMAL, it would be the climax, but I'm not, so there will be more story after.

"What on earth...?" Sabrina stared. "Where are we?"

"Draw your sword, sir Galahad!"

"King Arthur." Puck said, stepping through the door after Sabrina. "And you'd better draw your sword, sir."

Sabrina sneered at Puck, then grabbed for her waist, pulled out her sword, and, when it clanged against her side, realized she was wearing armor. "That's why I felt heavier..." She muttered, holding her sword up in the guard position.

Puck, too, was suddenly wearing armor, and when Daphne joined them, she was clothed in the silvery metal plates, also. They stood there for a few seconds, surrounded by chaos, watching the battle, before Daphne started walking through the fighters as if they were just dancing.

"Daphne!" Sabrina hissed, grabbing at her sister, "What are you doing?"

"Getting to our brother." Daphne said. "He's close, can't you tell?"

"I meant what are you doing walking through a battlefield like that?" Sabrina clarified. "You could get killed!"

"They're following the script." Daphne said. "We don't have to. So as long as we avoid the people who we're supposed to be fighting, we should be good."

"If you say so..." Sabrina said skeptically, following her sister.

"I do." Daphne said. "Come on! We could get the baby!"

They ran through the chaos to a big castle full with lightning shooting out of the windows.

"I think I know where that's coming from." Puck said ominously.

"No duh, Sherlock." Sabrina said, shoving the castle door open and heading for the nearest set of stairs.

Once they'd reached the top of the staircase, panting, Daphne pulled open a wooden door. A lightning bolt zoomed out of it, and she slammed it shut again. "Mirror's in there." She told the others.

Sabrina and Puck gave her incredulous looks, and Daphne, blushing a bit, pulled the door open again, more slowly, standing behind it as she went.

A burnt-looking old man stumbled out of the door and collapsed on the ground, breathing heavily. "What are you doing here?" He accused, wheezing. "You're supposed to be on the battlefield!"

"We have a brother to rescue in there." Daphne said. "Who are you?"

"Merlin, of course." The old man said, sounding angry despite his weak voice. "Are you with that magician? The lightning-man?"

"Not really." Sabrina said. "We're here because he's here, but we don't like him."

"Well, go stop him, then!" Merlin said. "He's playing Mordred, and as if that wasn't bad enough, he's twisting the story. I'm not... supposed... to..."

He collapsed.

"Die." Sabrina finished for him, quietly.

They stood there for a moment, staring. Daphne spoke up, saying, "I know he's not real. I've seen Merlin around town. But... it's still sad, isn't it?"

The other two nodded, and Sabrina said, "Come on. Let's go stop this."

They rushed into the room and were met by chaos yet again: Arthur, Guinevere, and several knights and what looked like servants were rushing around the room trying to get through the lightning that flickered over everything to Mirror. The baby sat in the center of the lightning, giggling and touching it, his hair standing on end.

"How on earth do we get him out of there?" Sabrina asked, feeling lost and hopeless.

Puck shrugged and said, "I dunno, but I'm just glad none of us get seizures."

And then, just like that, Mirror was gone.

"What the-" Sabrina said, staring around the room. "Is this some kind of trick? Mirror! I know you're in here!"

There was no response. The others just stared around the room in shock, looking at the baby and the absence of lightning.

"I think he's gone." Daphne said eventually. "I don't know why or anything, but... maybe we shouldn't ask questions? Maybe we should take the baby and go."

Sabrina nodded. "Puck." She said. "Grab the baby?"

"Why should I take the kid?" Puck asked, making a face.

"Because in case we get separated, we need to be able to find him again!" Sabrina said. "If Daphne or I touch him, we won't know where he is anymore!"

"Fine." Puck said, and stomped over to the toddler. He grabbed him by one arm and lifted him up onto his shoulder, saying, "Can we go yet?"

"Not until the story ends." Sabrina said. "Daphne, how does this story end?"

"Mordred stabs Arthur." Daphne answered. "Then he goes off to the summerlands to be healed."

"But Mordred disappeared." Arthur complained, speaking for the first time. "Now what?"

"I'm taking over." Sabrina said suddenly. "The reign of King Arthur has ended! Sir Galahad is in charge! The end."

"I don't think that will work..." Guinevere said. "Besides, we ought to be trying to fix things! I don't want to be revised!"

"Too late." Puck said. He was staring out the window, still holding the baby awkwardly over one shoulder. "They're here already."

"This is your fault!" Guinevere said, rounding on the trio. "If you people didn't keep showing up, we wouldn't need to be revised!"

"How is it our fault?" Daphne asked. "We just followed Mirror in here. And if we end the story fast enough... maybe you can come with us?"

"Daphne, I don't think that's a good..." Sabrina trailed off. "Oh, whatever. We're in enough trouble as it is."

"All right, then, I abdicate." Arthur said, lifting his crown off his head. He tossed it to the floor. "I can't do this anymore. I declare Parsifal my heir, yadda yadda yadda. Is the story of King Arthur over yet?"

In answer, a door appeared in the middle of the room. Sabrina ran for it, pulling Puck and Daphne after her. Most of the others in the room followed as they stepped out into who knows what.

"I just had a thought." Sabrina said, stepping through. "How do we get out of this book? Nobody ever explained that."

"Tick off the Editor enough that he throws us out?" Puck asked. "I can do that."

"I don't doubt it." Sabrina said. "But we'd probably get eaten before that happened."

"Guys?" Daphne asked. "Can we figure out leaving later? We've kind of... got some stuff to deal with."

The two teens turned to examine their surroundings: a toy shop, everything made of wood. The baby giggled, clapping his hands.

"So... Pinnochio, then?" Sabrina asked. "Maybe? Or is there another famous toy store?"

"No, I think it's Pinnochio." Daphne said. "And since you're sitting on the shelf, you'd be the star, then! Stop talking!"

"So who's the-" Puck asked, looking around, then down at himself. He was wearing a blue, floor-length dress. "Oh." He said. "Not cool. Not cool at all. I don't know how the book picks this stuff, but I'm sending in a complaint!"

Daphne snickered and, pulling at her leather apron, said, "I guess I must be Ghepetto. Maybe the baby isn't anyone. Or maybe he's the cat from the movie."

"So make your wish." Sabrina said, getting Daphne back on track.

"I don't want to." Daphne said. "This story is huge. If we go all the way through it, we'll never get home! So we need a way to make it shorter before I do anything."

"How about I just make her a real boy right from the start?" Puck suggested, poking Sabrina with his wand.

"I'm a real boy!" Sabrina said jokingly, jumping up.

"Hello, Pinocchio." Daphne said. "You'll always listen to anything I say, right?"

"Of course." Sabrina said. "Because I'm a real boy and I can grow up! Right?"

Daphne looked at Puck. "Yeah. I wish I had a real, obedient son who could age as much as he wanted."

"Wish totally granted if it gets me out of this dress." Puck said, poking Sabrina again.

"Hey!" Sabrina complained. "That hurt!"

Daphne looked around. "Has anyone seen the guys from King Arthur?" She asked. "They should be here."

"Maybe they went outside." Sabrina suggested. "Wanna check?"

"No." Puck said. "I want to find some pants."

"Suit yourself." Sabrina said. "I'm gonna go find those people."

There was a scream from outside, and the sound of loud, slobbery chewing. The baby looked around, his face screwing up, and he started to cry.

"I think we should not." Daphne said, opening the door to the rest of the house. "I think we should go in- hey, this isn't the rest of Ghepetto's house! This is the Editor's room! What are we doing here?"

The three kids stepped through the doorway, Puck still holding Sabrina and Daphne's baby brother, and the door slammed shut behind them.

"More like what are you doing to my stories!" The Editor snapped. "Complete and total rewrites, every story you stepped foot in! Not even Trixie made this much work for me, and she was in and out of here all the time! Why don't you go home?"

"We don't know how." Sabrina said, rolling her eyes. "Don't you think we'd be gone if we could get out?"

"You go through the last story and you're deposited in the outside world." The Editor said, sounding as if he thought that was extremely obvious. "Really, they're making young people more and more stupid all the time."

"We've never been here before!" Daphne snapped. "How were we supposed to know?"

"What's the last story?" Sabrina asked. "Come to that, what order are these in?"

"No order at all, but the last story is the first one." The Editor said. "How the book was made."

"Can you send us there?" Puck asked. "Without changing our clothes? That dress was just cruel."

"The book chooses the most accurate character for each person to play." The Editor said lazily, waving his hand at the door. "I have no hand in it. Now go, and take this boy with you, he's been unbearable." He pointed at Pinnochio, who stepped away from the fire sulkily.

"Takes one to know one." Sabrina whispered out of the corner of her mouth to Daphne.

Daphne snickered but said, "Thank you!" as she pulled the door open.

"Come on, bratface." Puck said, grabbing Pinocchio in his free hand, balancing the baby on his shoulder with the other.

When they stepped through the doorway, it was into a plain, mossy clearing in the woods, with no one in sight. They all wore regular clothes: a slightly too-small onesie on the baby, Pinocchio in shorts and overalls, and the other three in jeans and sweatshirts.

"I know this place!" Puck said. "We're in Greece!"

"I don't know how this story goes." Daphne said, nervous. "And there's enough of us here that we may be everyone. How are we supposed to finish it?"

"Don't worry about it." A voice said. "You're supposed to be here, just as you are."

The children spun around. Behind them in the clearing stood four- five? Four people: two tall, silvery women who looked very alike, supporting a muscular blonde man who shone in the half-darkness of the woods, and a man with two heads. On the left head was the white circle and arrow that Daphne had on her face, and Sabrina and the face on the right shared the black marking.

"You're-" Sabrina stared at them, and suddenly, she was plunged into a violent war scene, watching the two-headed man sneak up behind dying people that looked even stranger than he did, or impossibly beautiful, and sticking his hand on them. Each time he did so, there was a flash of light. She blinked, and was back with the rest of them. "You're the Janus!" She accused, pointing. "The original one!"

Both heads nodded, smiling. The one with the black circle said, "I see you were right again, brother."

"Wait, what?" Pinnochio asked, so surprised that he didn't use huge words. "But this is a historical account! We cannot be here as ourselves! We're meant to take the place of people who were here!"

"There's no time to explain." One of the silvery women said. "Apollo is dying, and he must be saved!"

"No." Apollo said weakly. "This is how it must be."

"But-" The woman said.

Apollo cut her off. "Dear heart, we discussed this. We knew I'd die today. We're here to transfer my power to the boy, so that... the oracle lives on."

"What boy?" Puck asked, looking at Pinocchio worriedly. "Not that one, right?"

"No." The white-marked two-headed man said. "The small one. The brother."

"Let me... let me touch him." Apollo said, looking up at the baby and smiling.

"May I?" The other silvery woman asked, walking away from Apollo and holding her hands out to Puck.

Puck looked at the girls, unsure. Daphne nodded, and Sabrina shrugged, so he handed the baby awkwardly to the shiny woman in front of him.

The woman walked back to Apollo, who was leaning entirely on the other woman now. He reached out a trembling hand and placed it on the boy's chest. There was a flash of golden light as bright as the sun, and then Apollo collapsed, pulling the woman down with him. She let out an anguished cry, kneeling over him.

"It is done." The two heads on the standing man said in unison.

The other woman turned back to Puck and handed him the baby boy, who was staring into space with golden eyes.

"What did he do to him?" Sabrina asked harshly, looking from the boy to the adults with accusation in her eyes.

"His prophetic powers have been passed on." The standing silvery woman said. "To the boy. He should learn to live with it soon. It's good he's so young, otherwise he'd have more difficulty. Goodbye."

"Where are you going?" Daphne called after her as she started to walk away. "Who are you?"

"I'm Diana." The woman called over her shoulder. "And I'm going back to the battles. I may be able to help."

Janus's white-marked head shook sadly. "I wish we could stop her."

"The future must happen as it must." The other head reminded him.

"If she's Diana, then who is that?" Pinocchio asked, pointing at the other silvery woman. "She looks almost exactly like her."

"That is Artemis." The dark head said, nodding towards the weeping figure. "It's true that they are often confused for each other, partially because their powers overlap in places."

"Someday people will think they're interchangeable." The light head added. "Two names for the same woman."

"Ridiculous." The other head responded. "But we digress. It's time for you to leave."

He was right. A door had appeared to the children's left. They walked out of it, though Daphne was still looking back at the man on the ground and the woman standing over him, weeping. She was still staring when Sabrina closed the door behind her and it disappeared.