Chapter 3: Desire

Sasuke could feel a heartbeat; a soft, rhythmic hum thumping against his cheek. That couldn't be right. For a moment, he had no sense of where he was. His body rocked. Maybe he was floating, lost the waves of infinite black space.

But then he felt his knee jerk in a spasm, a delayed reflex that seemed to make his brain twitch to life. With that came the realization that he was not only in pain, but he was in someone's arms, being ungracefully lowered to the ground as the person supporting him stumbled and cursed.

Sasuke's eyes snapped open.

For a moment, the world blurred into one bland picture of dirt and dust and ugly tree bark from the uprooted trees nearby. But he saw a blue eye clear as day, and memories surfaced as his vision cleared and he looked up to a familiar face.

Naruto looked like he couldn't decide whether to laugh, cry, shout, or do all three. Sasuke stared at him, stared at the boy shaking his shoulders with a firm grip and shaking hands. The look on his face was something Sasuke had seen before, but he didn't want to think about it. He still hadn't even moved, could barely think. What had happened to him was barely beginning to pull itself into a clumsy picture for his memory.

Then he remembered.

The fight. Madara. The retrieval. Justice for the Uchiha clan finally served. The Nine Tails was needed to leave Konoha in ruin. Susano'o and the chilling, murderous chakra. But only the Nine Tails mattered. The Nine Tails was everything, and Naruto was here. Naruto was shaking him. Naruto was speaking to him, and Sasuke was lying there, just staring at him.

Naruto needed to die.

The bloodthirst, the rage…all of the memories seemed to hang in suspension before flickering back into reality. Sasuke had no idea what had changed, or why it was different. All he knew was that one moment, he wanted nothing more than to see Naruto crumpled at his feet, lifeless, and the next, he could only see the obnoxious thirteen year-old boy he once would have died for in that blue gaze.

It was all he could think about, and he wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it, but his breath was caught in his throat, gurgling pitifully and unable to escape…the black chakra was pressing against him again, a horrible weight that threatened to kill him. He squirmed, fought the urge to scream. His vision blurred and darkened, and for one terrifying moment, he couldn't see those comforting blue eyes. A memory resurfaced in their absence.

The yellow eyes of the Kyuubi burned like embers, flickering with a malice that made even Sasuke hesitate. He was awed by the strength, the horror, the power.

"So this is what you had hidden inside of you all along," he whispered, glancing over at Naruto, who stood motionless beside him. He found himself staring back into the demon's eyes. The Nine Tails chuckled, and the sound rumbled like distant thunder.

"You have a darkness within you even I am wary of, Uchiha" The demon hummed thoughtfully, as if he were amused. Anger bubbled in the pit of Sasuke's stomach, and he reached out, unafraid of the demon's temporary form, grabbing onto the illusion of the Kyuubi.

"Let me tell you one thing," The fox growled, and Sasuke waited, doubt clouding his mind for a split second.

"Do not kill Naruto...you'll live...to regret it." The fox whispered darkly. Sasuke dug his fingers into the demon's illusion, and the foam shape the demon had conjured for itself burst like ocean spray. The demon laughed, an evil sound that curled around Sasuke's ear.

"You'll live...to regret it."

Sasuke couldn't think then as he returned to his body, his eyes widening as daylight stung his vision. He looked over at the boy he had once grown close to. Naruto. For a moment, he was lost, staring into the cornflower blue eyes of his childhood friend. He saw nothing else around him. He didn't know if he was relieved Naruto still stood before him, alive and challenging, or if he was horribly angry about it. It was something almost primal to was searching his inky black eyes, looking for a moment of doubt, perhaps, or empathy. Neither moved.

"Sasuke!" Naruto shouted, and Sasuke realized it then: that Naruto couldn't be disposed of with mind games, intimidation, or utter despair. It was a trait that had made Sasuke see Naruto as children. A trait he always secretly envied...and admired. It was something about Naruto that somehow rose team spirit, and Sasuke could remember stealing sideways glances, or hiding a smile. Now Sasuke had no smiles to hide.

The rogue ninja never tore his eyes away from Naruto. Even as he slowly disappeared in a tongue of flame, his gaze never wavered.

Sasuke was being yanked upright. The weight that had settled on him disappeared, as if it had been no more than mist clinging to his skin. The warmth that had seeped through the impenetrable blackness of the evil chakra was now near him again. Naruto had lifted him upright into a sitting position. Sasuke didn't even have the ability to feel embarrassed. His head lolled, finally resting on Naruto's collar bone. His body felt uncharacteristically weak.

"Naruto…?" he began.

"I'm sorry I kept you waiting for so long, Sasuke."

Groaning, Sasuke lifted his head, and once again, looked into the face of a boy he'd tried to forget. A broad grin stretched across Naruto's face. He looked away for a second, and Sasuke could tell he was trying to hide the fact that he'd gotten teary-eyed.

Sasuke could feel his strength returning. Effortlessly, he twisted away, only slightly clumsy from the extraction of Susano. Spry and nimble once more, he took a fighting stance, unsure of the stunned expression on Naruto's face. The other boy's face fell suddenly, darkened with a look of sadness that instantly eclipsed into rage.

"This doesn't change anything." He heard himself say, but he knew it had changed everything. Naruto laughed hollowly, swiping at the corners of his eyes.

"You're such a bastard." Naruto grinned that annoying, arrogant, determined grin of his, but secretly, seeing the smile made Sasuke feel more assured. Naruto could still hold his own. Sasuke decided to ignore the thought and studied his surroundings.

"You extracted Susano'o from me." It wasn't a question. Sasuke blinked once more against the sunlight. He felt odd. Light and nimble, as if he'd been wearing iron chains that he'd just been freed from. He couldn't summon his hatred instantly and use it as an inspiration to move and breathe, and at this point, he only wanted Naruto to leave him alone. It was too risky to be around the blond for long without the influence of Susano'o. It stirred emotions within him he'd rather forget. Going so long without feeling much of anything, feeling something was a real shock that rocked him to the core and left him disgruntled and feeling vulnerable. Now that he hated.

"Go ahead. Try to find Madara again. You won't get past me," Naruto promised. Sasuke snorted.

"You were fighting me earlier, and I wasn't impressed," he said in a clipped tone. "Don't worry though. I won't give you the satisfaction."

Naruto laughed again, but the laughter died too soon on his lips and suddenly his brows knit together in a serious expression. "Don't go back to him, Sasuke." His voice was soft, low and comforting.

"I understand you want revenge, but Madara will only use you."

Sasuke scowled. Who did this fool think he was, giving Sasuke advice? "I don't need your wisdom, Naruto. Now stand aside before you regret this. I have a destiny to fulfill." He took a step forward, fingers twitching towards his blade.

"So do I!" Naruto cried as Sasuke tried to break past him. Sasuke swung his blade, the metal glittering in the sun as it made a fearsome arch and crashed down. His eyes widened momentarily as Naruto reached upward, stopping the blade with only a kunai. Naruto grunted, trying to resist the opposing weight. Sasuke sneered at him.

What more could he have expected of his old friend? Did he really think making to kill Naruto would make the blond jump out of the way? That ploy had long ago failed. It had been Sasuke's intention their first encounter with each other after three long years. He'd known the team wouldn't let Naruto die at his hand. He had noticed his poor replacement's stance, and suspected his reflexes were quick enough, and they had been. Now, it was different. Now, as blue eyes met black, Sasuke knew why Naruto had prophesied they would die together. Maybe he too had known it all along. He'd just refused to believe it.

Naruto wasn't wavering, and the metal screeched as the blade bore down and the kunai slid along its edge. For a long moment, Sasuke could hear only their gasping breaths, oddly in tune with one another.

"What the fuck do you want with me anyway?" Sasuke hissed as he reeled back. Naruto grinned as he watched Sasuke's blade swing towards him so that the handle of the blade was making to deliver a hefty blow to his face. He got clipped on the bridge of the nose despite his efforts to escape it and cursed, stumbling backwards. Sasuke chuckled despite himself.

"You should give up on me, Naruto," he said quietly, blocking a swift punch from his opponent.

"I'm the only person who never will," Naruto vowed as Sasuke punched. He caught Sasuke's fist and released after what felt like too long to Sasuke, who surprised himself by not moving.

"I've been waiting months to fight you, and you give me this?" Naruto taunted. Sasuke grinned darkly.

"I always win." Sasuke feinted to his left. Naruto fell for it as he'd guessed, and Sasuke quickly brought him down with a swift kick to the right. Naruto fell with a grunt, landing on his back, rolling away as Sasuke's electrified blade stabbed at him.

"You can do better than that." Naruto sprang upright for another punch. His fist flew past Sasuke's face by a hair's breadth. Sasuke responded by triggering Chidori, and striking Naruto with lightning. He surprised himself. The aim had been for the chest, right to the heart. It would have been the most sensible move. At worst, it would kill Naruto. At best, stun him for a good long while.

At the last moment, Sasuke opted for jabbing Naruto in the side with it, not nearly with the full blast.

The blast sent the blond flying into the forest, skidding across the earthen floor. He groaned, spitting out dirt and dead leaves, surprised he wasn't burned and convulsing from the electricity. He had failed to completely protect himself. Sasuke appeared before him, and Naruto growled, remaining on the forest floor.

"Do it." He dared in a deadly whisper. Sasuke cocked an eyebrow.

"Go ahead, if you really want to, kill me now," Naruto ordered, his voice rough. Sasuke sneered, making to sheathe his blade. Naruto bounded upright, staying Sasuke's hand. For an instant, his cornflower blue eyes burned crimson.

"Do it. Get it over with." He growled, his grip on Sasuke's wrist bruising. Sasuke shoved him away, quivering with rage. With a yell, Naruto charged, and Sasuke met him head on, pinning him against a tree trunk, the cold steel of his blade brushing the soft skin of Naruto's neck in a kiss of death. Neither moved.

Sasuke noticed, with mounting apprehension, that Naruto's eyes were once more a burning red, glittering like rubies in the sun. He leaned in close, so that his breath tickled Naruto's ear. He smiled when he felt the shiver course through the blond's body at the close contact.

"Why would I ever bother taking the life of someone like you?" He whispered.

"You didn't mind taking lives this morning, and they must have been just as worthless in your eyes."

Sasuke threw a punch. Naruto spat blood. "You're such a spineless bastard." Naruto hissed through his teeth. Sasuke's eyes widened as fresh anger coursed through him.

It was hard to say what was overcoming him, but Naruto found he couldn't help it. The look on Sasuke's face, in his eyes, when he seemed torn was addictive. It gave him hope.

He doesn't want to kill you. He still cares. He's bluffing, call him out on it. His mind kept whispering to him. These thoughts appeared too quickly, almost as if they weren't his. He'd planned a different approach to confront Sasuke, not this. He was suspicious, but tucked the feeling away. Whatever it was, it was working, and that was all that mattered.

"You're such a spineless bastard." Naruto spat at Sasuke, lashing out with the pent up anger and hurt he'd accumulated from Sasuke's absence over the years. Sasuke's eyes widened, nostrils flaring. Naruto had hit a nerve, and it made him smile. Sasuke pulled away from him, and began to retreat. Naruto was baffled, and for a minute, he just watched Sasuke's back as he walked away. Growling with frustration, he ran forward.

"Sasuke! Come back here!" he roared, sprouting a clone and quickly forming a rasengan. He hurled it at the Uchiha. Sasuke turned, wide-eyed and looking annoyed (or was it surprised?). He dodged it, of course, and again the two were caught in battle.

Naruto had always imagined this moment to be grittier. He'd prepared himself for fearsome jutsus and even more unpredictable emotions. Instead, they were only fighting and yelling at each other like they were thirteen again and bickering. Sasuke was holding back, that much was evident. Finally, after a clean kick to the face that blinded him with pain, Naruto stumbled and Sasuke pinned him. Fresh blood gushed from his nose, and he could feel the pain throbbing all the way up in his temples. He spat as the blood ran into his mouth.

"I told you once I'd kill you first." Sasuke whispered darkly, dragging the point of his sword across Naruto's skin, leaving a thin trail of ruby red. Naruto's eyes widened, flashing a deep red then cooling to his usual cornflower blue. Doubt he would regret later gripped him. Yet he said nothing, only growled, a deep guttural sound in his throat.

Whatever Sasuke thought he was going to do here and now, Naruto was going to welcome it like a long lost brother and take it.

The instant Naruto's eyes changed color, Sasuke felt himself hesitate. Something was amiss, but he wasn't sure what. It was well known that when pitted against him, Naruto's own anger allowed a little of the fox to leak, sometimes changing his eye color, but for some reason this felt different. Obviously, Naruto appeared to be in control of his anger, as the red eyes never lingered. Still…

Freed as he was from the madness of the Mangekyo, he knew it would be in his best interests to kill Naruto. Not only would he foil Madara's plan and rid himself of whatever mess he'd put himself in while under Susano'o's influence, he'd rid himself of the last obstacle he would need to overcome in order to achieve the perfect mindset. With Susano'o gone, he needed to find another way to allow the cold to seep into his bones. Naruto stood in the way of vengeance, of justice. This is what Sasuke had trained himself for. That afternoon, three long years ago, Naruto should have known the kiss of the kunai across his throat. I wouldn't do it. Sasuke had thought. He hadn't dared to think he could not. I wouldn't stoop to Itachi's level then. He'd promised himself it was the only reason. Nothing more. Naruto…Naruto was nothing to him. Only a face, someone he'd once known and cared for, but no longer.

This logic had satisfied him for years…until Sai uttered his old friend's name in Sasuke's presence those many months ago. Sasuke told himself it hadn't had any effect on him. No one had any effect on him when it was between himself and his goal. He'd been cold and ruthless when Karin had stood in the way of his revenge. Naruto wouldn't escape a similar fate.

Or so Sasuke liked to think. Madara liked to taunt him by saying Sasuke would stop everything to listen to Naruto's sentimental bullshit after every meeting just to hear the sound of his voice.

The jibe had infuriated Sasuke. Even under the numbness of Susano'o's chill, Sasuke had still paused and listened, still watched Naruto like a hawk. His intensity towards the blond was due only to the fact that it was his fate to kill Naruto; or so he liked to tell himself.

"Prove it then," Naruto growled lowly in his ear, and Sasuke's long fingers twined around Naruto's throat. His heart was beating fast, and Naruto stilled, waiting for the inevitable without a complaint. He'd done the same their first encounter, not that Sasuke had actually planned on killing him then. Sasuke could feel Naruto's pulse, fast and strong, steady under the cool skin of his fingers. A warmth settled over him. It was invigorating.

"I don't have to prove shit to you." Sasuke hissed, giving Naruto's Adam's apple a threatening squeeze just to strike fear in him. Naruto stiffened, gasping. Sasuke released his hold, and as he did, Naruto laughed between coughs.

He looked at Sasuke said, "You're afraid."

Sasuke punched him then, and Naruto allowed it, which only angered Sasuke further.

"Afraid? What do I have to fear? The death of some idiot who likes to run after me like some lovesick girl?"

Naruto laughed again. "Love sick? You wish. Face it…" His voice trailed and he looked at Sasuke levelly. "If you feel anything in that twisted knot you call a heart, it's for something we once shared. It's for everything you left behind in Konoha. Maybe you want to kill me, to rid yourself of whatever is lurking in the back of your mind. But you'll never get rid of it. You'll never be able to kill that part of you, even if you kill me."

Sasuke inhaled sharply, and for a moment he forgot to breathe he was so outraged.

"Do not kill Naruto…you'll live to regret it." The kyuubi had warned him once. Of course it had, should Naruto die, the demon would as well. Yet…and yet Sasuke found himself pausing.

And yet, Sasuke found himself wondering if maybe, somehow, he would regret it.

Naruto could have sworn he heard a deep chuckle bouncing off the walls of his innermost thoughts. It disconcerted him. With the Fourth Hokage's seal in his grasp, the fact that Kyuubi could even have had a hope of escape left him with a little fear. What would happen should he lose it while confronting Sasuke? He had to admit, he was allowing the anger to control his words, and even if it was only the slightest touch, he could feel the influence of the demon's malice tickling his mood. He needed to keep it together; he was allowing the demon a little leeway by giving in so entirely to his emotions.

Naruto felt Sasuke's grip tighten and he closed his eyes, pushing away the thick fear that came from the instinct to stay alive. The next few seconds would tell him what he needed to know about Sasuke, and he hoped with everything he had that he was proven wrong. For so long he had kept faith, and he'd be damned to lose it now.

"I'll kill you right now," Sasuke promised, voice too soft. Naruto shuddered. Hoped.

Sasuke watched as Naruto closed his eyes, showing him more of his throat. Egging him on, taunting him, wanting to make a point. Sasuke's breath was ragged. All those years he'd spent under Orochimaru's tutelage, his sleep had been married with nightmares. He always woke angry. Kabuto often thought it funny to comment on Sasuke's awful moods when first awakening.

Every night, he was plagued by Naruto's face from the Valley of the End, and every night, he was on his knees. He was always covered in blood, and the fear was so thick he was gagging. It was always out of fear that the blood wasn't his. Every night his thoughts whispered to him. Liar! You say he means nothing to you, yet you weep for him.

You're a liar. He thought to himself now as his grip tightened.

"I'm waiting." Naruto bit out.

You'll live to regret it. The Kyuubi's voice visited his thoughts once more. Sasuke's grip tightened. He watched Naruto struggle before him, mouth gaping like a fish.

You say he means nothing to you…The voice from his dreams reminded him, yet you'll weep for him tonight.

He couldn't bear to look.

With a frustrated yell, Sasuke released his hold and Naruto slumped to the ground, gasping. In his anger, Sasuke threw his sword, embedding it in a tree. He stalked after it. He was ready when Naruto ran at him, shoving him roughly and spinning him around.

"Why?" Naruto whispered, agonized. Sasuke said nothing, only watched as tears brimmed Naruto's eyes. He had the strangest impulse to reach up and brush them away. What the hell had that extraction done to him? He hadn't felt like this in years. Rage boiled his blood.

"You're better off letting me be. It won't do you any good trying to bring me back. Don't act like a hero, Naruto. I don't need one. " He surprised himself by saying it. His voice was little more than a murmur. A tear slipped freely down Naruto's cheek, and he looked at the ground, his hands still bunching the white fabric of Sasuke's shirt, twisting and pulling. Sasuke froze. Why doesn't this fucking idiot ever give up on me? he thought, but somewhere, in a corner of his mind, he thought he knew why.

"Stop crying," Sasuke ordered, his voice cold. Naruto bent his head, but his shoulders still shook. Sasuke grabbed his chin, yanking his face upward. Naruto glowered at him, gritted his teeth and bared them like he was about to spew a string of curses, but the tears didn't stop and he didn't say anything at all. Sasuke raised a hand, and Naruto stilled, surprise rooting him to the ground as Sasuke swept a thumb across Naruto's scarred cheek.

It was too much. Sasuke wanted to shake his head, rid himself of these troubling thoughts. His very actions were sending him spiraling into doubt.

"I said stop crying," His voice was softer now. Lower. Naruto swallowed, and Sasuke watched his Adam's apple bob.

"Come back with me. Leave Akatsuki." Naruto urged. "Don't do this."

Sasuke gave him a long look. "What for? Why can't you just leave it be?"

"That's what friends do."

"Friends? We're not friends." Sasuke sneered, but even as he said it, he remembered summer days spent sparring with Naruto. Days they would fling insults at each other then laugh together once they collapsed in the grass. Naruto would say, "Hey, Sasuke, that was a pretty good fight" and Sasuke would watch him from his spot in this grass until Naruto's eyes would flutter closed and think yeah, it was.

"Right. I'm nothing to you." Naruto's voice was hollow, and he grinned bitterly.

"Nothing." Sasuke echoed as he wiped away another tear. He realized he was very close. So close he could make out the different shades of blue in Naruto's irises, feel the warmth of his breath against his cheek, the tickle of a stray golden strand of hair. Step away. He commanded himself, but he didn't.

A primal urge heated his blood, a thirst that had never been quenched, one that had been ignored and denied for far too long. He gritted his teeth, shoving the feeling down. Naruto watched him closely, saying nothing.

"What do you want from me anyway?" Sasuke wondered, and when Naruto didn't answer, he whispered in his ear. "What is it you see in me that you can't bear to lose?" His breath tickled Naruto's ear, and Naruto's breath hitched. As Sasuke moved away, his bottom lip brushed against Naruto's jaw line. Sasuke shivered, and Naruto shuddered.

Step away. Sasuke commanded himself. He looked into the blue eyes of the boy he'd once grown close to.

Step away, he told himself again as the closeness of Naruto blurred his thoughts. He looked into Naruto's eyes...and vanished with a thought.

It definitely was not the fight Naruto had pictured. Something was changing, shifting, and Naruto wasn't sure if he was terrified or immensely excited for it.

"You have one chance, and it can only be done by someone the host holds dear." Naruto remembered how the word dear had affected him. Sasuke had always been important, vital in Naruto's life, could the same be said for Sasuke about him? Sasuke had always denied it. Our bonds are broken, he had insisted. Were they? Naruto wouldn't believe it.

He looked up, determined, bracing himself against Sasuke's steely gaze. He was close. So close to Sasuke now. Close enough to touch Sasuke. The thought left Naruto restless. He opened his mouth to speak, and Sasuke's eyes were wide, searching. Naruto realized they were inches away from each other. So close, Naruto could feel Sasuke's breath fan across his face. He wondered how long it would last before being cruelly ripped away from him. Then, before Naruto could utter a word, Sasuke closed his eyes and vanished in a tongue of flame.