Ch. 28
Erik watched through the window as the remainder of his parcels were carefully prepared for his journey. He observed how his servants had wrapped their warm clothes even tighter around themselves as they braved the cold wind, and he dreaded traveling in such weather.
During this time, Estella was in her room with Marguerite, attempting to ignore the fact that Erik was to leave her that very day, for although she knew that he would not be absent for long, she could not deny that she would be lonely without him.
"Marguerite, now that Erik is leaving for a few days, would it not be the most opportune time for me to surprise him when he returns? I do believe that my 'order' was finished a few days ago," she suggested cheerfully.
For the past few months, she had carefully planned an elaborate gift for him, but until she had become aware of his departure she had been uncertain as to how she could get it inside of the estate without his notice, for it was rather large and would require a few strong men to lift it.
"I think that is a wonderful idea, M'Lady," Marguerite replied with a wide smile.
Estella allowed her to finish styling her hair and she began to frown. How was she to pick up her purchase when she did not frequent the public?
"But it requires me to go into town in order to inspect that it was crafted properly," she bit her lip. Then, she turned to her Lady's Maid with an idea. "Would you be able to accompany me, tomorrow morning? I think that I could endure the company of others for a little while if I was not alone."
Marguerite agreed, and Estella was excited to make the preparations for the delivery of this gift the following day. Just as she had finished speaking, she heard a knock on her door, and it was him.
Even Erik could not deny that there was a saddened expression on her face when she had opened the door to see him dressed in his outerwear. He felt a gentle tug of his heart at the sight, though he was perplexed as to why she would mourn him so.
"I must leave, now," he stated gently. He, too, would miss her.
"I cannot accompany you?" she asked, though she already knew the answer.
She was thankful that he was not an unkind man, for she knew that it was brazen of her to ask such a request. A woman could simply not find a place in the matter of business, for she had assumed that he would be traveling in order to secure another profession for himself, now that he was no longer in partnership with her uncle. She knew better than to meddle in his affairs, but she could not refrain from asking to go, one last time.
"I am afraid not," he responded. "But I shall only be gone for about a fortnight."
He would have enjoyed her company as he left town, for he knew that it would be a long journey, but he simply could not bring her with. Unbeknownst to her, he was planning to surprise her with something grand and would need to secure the final stages of it, first.
Erik was going to purchase an additional estate near the Mediterranean Sea. Of course he knew that it would be quite an exhausting journey, but he looked forward to it, for he could recall that Estella had admitted to him once that she had never traveled and had always wished to visit the seaside. And what better place to take vacation together, than in Italy? They could spend their winters beside the sea.
She looked very disappointed by his answer, but she put on a smile, nonetheless.
"Please, travel safe," she said. "And I will eagerly await your return."
He did not know what had convinced him to-perhaps it was recalling their previous encounters or the sadness in her eyes that he was leaving-but he kissed her farewell. And when she had kissed back, he had to remind himself that this had not been the first time, though he felt that he would never grow accustomed to it.
For once in his life, he was leaving someone behind. This time, he was not the one to be abandoned, and he knew that she did not wish for him to go. Though it would only be temporary, he had never experienced having someone long for him to stay or be with him, and he was almost convinced not to depart until he had reminded himself of the reason for his journey.
He pulled away, his heart beating wildly, and prayed that the next few weeks would be the quickest days that he had ever experienced, for he would have the affections of his wife waiting for him at home.
The following morning, Estella took a deep breath and nearly held it as she scurried out into the cold. She pulled her hood tighter in order to shield herself from both the wind and the scrutinizing stares of others as she walked beside Marguerite on the cobblestone path and into her destination.
Once they were inside of the small shop, she was surprised to be greeted cheerfully by an aging man with small spectacles sitting atop of the bridge of his pointed nose. She certainly had not expected to be treated just as any other customer, but she could say that it was a pleasant surprise.
After she had told the man her name, she was assured that the finished product was ready and waiting in the other room for her. He led her into an adjacent storage room that contained many pieces of furniture, only she could not determine exactly which types, for they were all covered in white cloth in order to prevent dust from accumulating on their surfaces.
He lifted the cloth from the one she had ordered, and she was amazed to see how well-crafted it had been, in fact; it had been even better than she had imagined. She ran her fingertips gently over the trim-work of the ivory-colored pianoforte and marveled at the elaborate details of the roses and vines that seemed to climb its legs. Then she noticed the gold scrolling accents, and she was certain that Erik had not owned such a beautiful instrument, before. She hoped that he would fall in love with it, just as she had in the few minutes in which she had laid eyes on it, and that it would be put to good use. Perhaps she could persuade him to play for her, every night?
She struck a few keys and heard their clear and distinct sounds, wishing that she had both the talent and power to string them together into music, as Erik had the capability to do so.
"It is stunning," she complimented its creator. "Your work is truly remarkable."
He thanked her for her kind words and suggested that it be delivered carefully, for it was quite heavy. She assured him that she had plenty of time to have it arrive at the estate, and that she would arrange it to be delivered in a few days.
She left, feeling quite satisfied and relieved, but wished to return home immediately. She would not tempt fate by perusing the town, for she knew that there was bound to be at least one person about who could ruin her mood.
On the way returning to the estate, she bit her lip in nervous concern.
"Do you think that he will like it?" she asked Marguerite, whom she had requested to sit across from her in the very same carriage, for she had not wanted to travel alone.
Marguerite smiled at her. "I think very much, M'Lady."
Erik was growing tired of traveling for so long, and he found that the carriage had grown rather uncomfortable. Every so often, he would attempt to stretch or adjust to a new position, but it did not help much, if at all.
The only thought that kept him going was Estella. If he could just endure a little while longer, then he would be able to give her a gift that he hoped would make her very happy. He hoped that it would provide an ample opportunity for them to spend more time together, away from the estate but also without lack of privacy.
At least the journey had afforded him a great length of time to contemplate his own emotions. He thought about everything that had occurred that year-the first day in which he had met Estella, the new things that he had experienced, and a relationship that he thought was impossible for him to have.
She had somehow managed to soothe his pain, to cause him to forget his haunting past, and even to give him hope for his future. Though at first he had sworn off the very idea of forming romantic attachments to another woman, he now found that it was too late and there was nothing that he could do about it. She had given him a taste of a real life, had treated him in a way that he never had been treated before. She had kissed him willingly, multiple times, and he knew that he would always long for more for the rest of his days.
This was something that he could never walk away from. All of those years of pining after Christine had paled in comparison to not even a year with Estella. He had always thought that he loved Christine, but how could he have experienced love's true potential when it had not been mutual? He had never felt her touch or kiss from anything other than pity, and most of his time with her he had spent either deceiving her in an attempt to make her love him or fighting to keep her when he had known that he had lost the battle.
It was far different with Estella. He did not need to pretend to be something that he wasn't, in fact; he had often shown his temper and yet she did not fear him. She had never once ripped away his mask or even attempted it, and though she knew that it hid something, she still kissed him. He did not need to threaten her or intimidate her, for she wanted to be with him.
He felt his love for her grow each and every day. Every time that she smiled at him or wished to spend time with him, he was reminded of how incredible she truly was, for he was certain that no other woman would compare. No other woman could make him feel as he did.
And it was with these thoughts and the warmth that spread through his chest that he decided to do something when he returned that he thought he would never do, again.
He would tell her that he loved her, intensely and indefinitely.