These Jagged Edges

I want to tell you a story. It is a story about two people you know very well. It's a story of loss and heartache and the world crumbling. But it is also a story of love and courage and rebuilding. It is a story full of both tears and laughter, joy and pain. It is the story of my two best friends – your fathers and Uncles – and how they grew from immature boys to responsible men overnight.

You see, your Uncle James and Uncle Fred were always the loud, crazy ones. If there was a disturbance, you could guarantee they were right in the middle of it. And I admit to my fair share of the chaos too. But they were the instigators, the ring-leaders. When we were little not a single family gathering was complete without someone screaming their names, and once we got to school, detention became a weekly ritual for them. But they never seemed to really care.

Don't get me wrong, they cared about a lot of things, but detention never seemed to be one of them. They cared about their family and their friends, and Quidditch and food, but it never bothered them to spend half their Saturday scrubbing Uncle Neville's pots the Muggle way. To them, the happiness they brought to people with their escapades was worth it. And they did bring happiness. We were taught at a young age just what could happen to someone who was bullied and belittled. And yes we were children and we did our fair share of teasing, and Merlin knows Uncle James knew how to wind up Uncle Albus in mere seconds, but we were always careful to never cross the line. And so Uncle Fred and Uncle James would try more and more outrageous stunts to make people laugh, even if it meant they got no sleep for a week trying to juggle schoolwork with detention.

Now, you may think that because they avoided "the line" they were more mature than most. And maybe, in some ways they were. But in a lot of ways they were just two little kids in young adult bodies, playing at life like it was a game. And up until their early twenties, it had been like a game for them. We had all grown up fairly privileged, with enough love to last us twenty lifetimes. And with our parents, we'd all been famous from before we were born. If Uncle James and Uncle Fred had one fatal flaw in those days, it was their tendency to capitalise on that fame. The amount of girls they tried to woo with the stories of their so-called "adventures" as children of Wizarding royalty – none of which were true –became too many to count by then end of First Year. And every Professor was given the "But Harry Potter is my Dad/Uncle, do you really think he'd stand for this?" line at least once a term. It even worked once or twice.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that life had been pretty easy to them for the first twenty or so years of their life. We graduated from Hogwarts and Uncle Fred took over the Hogsmead branch of the joke shop while Uncle James and I went to work as cursebreakers at Gringotts. Uncle James married his highschool sweetheart, and Uncle Fred fell in love with a girl he literally ran into on the street. By the time they were twenty-three, both were looking forward to becoming fathers. And that is where our story really gets interesting.

Yes, I know you've heard it a hundred times, but I'm going to tell it again. Uncle Fred's world got shaken first. Your Aunt Amelia was almost six months pregnant when she went into labour, and nothing the mediwitches did could save little Gracielle, who died only hours after she was born. In truth, Aunt Amelia had it worse than Uncle Fred I think. Sure, he was devastated, but Aunt Amelia was really hit hard by it. And it was her pain that caused him to grow up, even more than his. I don't think he got a real night's sleep for weeks, instead sitting up with Aunt Amelia, holding her as she cried herself to sleep, and then waking her from her nightmares. We all tried to help as best we could, but there are some wounds that just cannot be healed fully, and I think this is one of them.

Over time Uncle Fred pieced himself back together, and life went on as usual. But we all knew he had changed for good, and this really became clear when they were expecting you Josh. Yes, don't give me that look. Your parents were so excited about you, but they were so scared as well. They were so afraid that they would have to say goodbye to you, just as they had to Gracielle. But then there you were all red face and screaming lungs, and in your Dad's eyes you were perfect. And we saw some of that boyish innocence come back into his eyes, and we knew that we were in for a lifetime of trouble with you.

But as usual I've gotten ahead of myself. Let me take you back to Uncle James. Now, as devastating and heartbreaking losing Gracielle was, I think your Uncle James had it worse. Most of you wouldn't remember your Aunt Lauren, but she was beautiful, inside and out. She had a way of making you feel so special, even when you had just messed up big time. And she was perfect for Uncle James. She kept him grounded, she deflated his ego when it got out of hand, and she put up with all of his wild schemes and crazy ideas, even assisting with a few. I have never seen him so happy as the day they told us they were having a baby. All of his dreams were coming true, and he planned as he had never planned before.

But there are some things you just don't plan for, and losing your wife the same day your daughter is born is one of those things. We still don't really know what happened that day, only that something went wrong in labour and your Aunt chose to save her baby over herself. And so what should have been the happiest day of Uncle James' life was instead filled with anger and confusion and sadness.

This part of the story I don't think most of you have heard, but I think you need to hear it. After the news had gotten out, James had been taken back to his parents' house, along with his new daughter. But apart from the first hour after the mediwitch had handed her to him, Uncle James didn't see her for the first two weeks of her life. I know, I know, it sounds awful. And it was. But you have to understand. For your Uncle, his entire life had suddenly shattered into a million tiny pieces. He couldn't look at his daughter for fear of seeing his wife's features, nor could he bring himself to choose a name out of the list Aunt Lauren had so painstakingly compiled.

Eventually though he snapped out of it, and I have never seen someone so fiercely in love with their baby as your father was for you Daisy. Your Uncle Albus had to literally drag him out of the house again, but once he got back in the company of his family, it seemed that maybe it would be ok again. Don't get me wrong, Uncle James was still hurting deeply, and would for a long time. Your Aunt Rose had to force him to go back to work after two months, and there were many days when I would have to go to the Potter's house, push him into the shower, force some breakfast into his mouth and drag him into work. But slowly, painfully, he started to smile more. After four months he laughed. But it was the day that he pranked Uncle George that we really knew he would be ok. It was your first birthday Daisy, and we were all bracing ourselves for a serious regression. But somehow your Dad pulled through, and I have never been so happy in my life.

I guess this is the point where you all look at me and ask "but why?" I suppose my point is this: Uncle James and Uncle Fred, unlike their parents before them, got a chance at a normal childhood. They had bright futures ahead of them. But they had to grow up overnight, and piece themselves back together when they felt like it was impossible. And it wasn't an easy process, nor is it complete. And I don't think it ever will be. My two best friends, once as bouncy and resilient as a pair of rubber balls, now have broken and jagged edges. They get caught on things or cut themselves on the edges, and it hurts. But they keep going. And over time they have polished their edges to become smoother, less painful. And now they are more of a reminder of what they went through than a repeat of the event.

One day you guys might find yourselves with a jagged edge or two. But if and when you do, know that you'll be ok in the end. Because you will have your family to help you, and you will especially have the hope of two little boys trapped in men's bodies who know just how to polish that edge to make it as pretty and painless as possible.

A/N. So, here we are, finally. Sorry for the wait guys. I'd totally forgotten I had started this, and left it abandoned for months! I really hope it was worth it though. Parts of this fic were super difficult to get right, while others seemed to write themselves. I hope it turned out ok in the end! But anyway, enough from me. What did you like? What didn't you like? What/who do you want to see more of? N.G