Hey! I hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter! It wasn't really special yet haha. I promise the story will get more interesting later on.

I also wanted to make the note that this story can later on include bad language, violence, underage drinking, lemony scenes, etc.

Also if you like this story please share it on twitter, Facebook, etc. I'd really appreciate that (: thanks for reading!

Chapter 2

iFeel so confused

~ * Sam * ~

I slowly wake up to check my phone and see that it's almost 12:30 p.m. already. Ever since my thoughts won't leave me alone at night and I don't fall asleep till about 3:30 a.m, I wake up around this time every day.

I sigh to myself as I pull myself out of bed, having a hard time with it. Ugh I don't wanna get out. 2 weeks of the boring usual days have passed already since the nubby text from Freddie at night. And the boy hasn't talked to me ever since, jerk! I was the one who didn't reply though but come on, I'm Sam Puckett, you can expect that from me.

Although I try to push my feelings and thoughts aside everyday Freddie is all I can think about. He drives me crazy! Even when he's not around he does. Ugh! I hate this. Why Sam, why did you have to fall in love with Freddie!? That's the question I ask myself about 500 times a day.

I quickly take a shower and get dressed, groaning as I can't find my belt. I bet Cat stole it from me again. She's been talking about how much she loves it for days. I walk to the kitchen and open the fridge, groaning harder as there isn't any meat. Ughhhh! I can't start my day without meet!

I walk back to the bedroom and grab my purse, pulling out a bag of fried chicken. Or how I like to call it, my emergency wings. I smirk to myself as I eagerly start eating it while walking back to the kitchen and making me some coffee.

I walk to the couch with the fried chicken and coffee in my hand and flop down on it. I switch on the tv and continue eating, sighing satisfied. This is the perfect morning, well, afternoon.

Although I really like it here with Cat, I often doubt if I made the right choice staying here, or even leaving for the road-trip. I wonder how it would be if I stayed in Seattle with Freddie, Gibby and Spencer. I mean of course it'd be weird being the only girl there, but at least I would've been with Freddie. No, stop it Sam. Stop thinking about Freddie. By the way he acted to me after we broke up it's pretty obvious he doesn't want me back.

Thinking about Freddie makes me think about Seattle, and the reason why I left when Carly went to Italy. Nobody but me knows the real reason why. I didn't leave because I would be the only girl there surrounded with Freddie, Gibby and Spencer. I left because I wanted to leave my horrible past there in Seattle, not meaning school, my friends or anything that has to do with iCarly, no, I mean my other past, the one no one knows about. Well, past, it's actually all still going on.

There's no one who knows about it and I'd like to keep it that way. But really, did no one ever realize there was a story behind me being so tough? It has everything to do with my family, my dad. Cause yes, I do know who my dad is, unfortunately. I wish that the lies I told everyone about not knowing who my dad is were reality. Cause I never, but literally NEVER would want anyone to know the cruel, mean and horrible man who is my father.

No Sam, stop thinking about it. You've run away from it now, and you're not gonna go back. There's no reason to anyway cause Freddie doesn't care about me or love me anyway. Now I think about it, there really aren't many people who care about me. No one actually. That really hurts. But I'm used to it, I'm used to having to do everything on my own. And that's why I'm glad to be with Cat now. At least she likes to be around me and doesn't make me do everything on my own.

Once again I'm taken out of my thoughts by a knock on the door. ''who's there?''

I hear a familiar voice outside. ''it's Dice!''

''oh come in.'' I walk to the door to let Dice in. ''hey kid, don't you have school?''

''nope, I have a day off.''

I walk back to the couch and flop down on it again. ''oh, cool.''

Dice walks over to the couch and flops down next to me. ''whatcha doing?''

I smirk as I continue eating my fried chicken. ''oh y'know just having some fried chicken for breakfast.''

Dice frowns at me and then chuckles. ''okay first of all, it's already 1 p.m. you're lazy. And second, why do you eat fried chicken for breakfast?''

I chuckle as I answer him, miming him. ''okay first of all, I know. And second, because I'm Sam Puckett.'' I smirk and finish my fried chicken.

Dice rolls his eyes and chuckles. ''you're the weirdest. You know that?''

I roll my eyes back at him. ''yeah, I do. Now what's that?'' I ask pointing to the stuff in his hands.

''oh yeah, you wanna buy a PearPurse?''

I frown at him as I look at the stuff in his hands. ''What the heck is a PearPurse?''

He quickly explains what it's supposed to be ''It's a purse that has some of the qualities of a PearPhone, PearPad, PearBook, etc.''

I still frown at him. ''what qualities?''

Dice looks down and mumbles something. ''Oh y'know it has the eh, the shape of them''

I burst out laughing and nudge Dice on the shoulder playfully. ''no thanks mister PearPurse.''

Dice looks at me annoyed. ''yeah if people keep asking stuff like this I won't sell anything.''

I look at him, still laughing. ''well then maybe you should sell some quality products that people actually want to buy.''

Dice glares at me. ''people want to buy my stuff! In fact, I think Cat would love some of my PearPurses!''

I chuckle at him. ''yeah but Cat's cat.''

Dice shrugs. ''I'm gonna find her. Later!''

''Later kiddo!''

Dice stands up off the couch and walks to the door, leaving the apartment.

I look after him as he leaves, Dice kinda reminds me of Freddie, he has the same gorgeous brown eyes. Not as gorgeous as Freddie's though. Oh here I go again, thinking about Freddie again. Oh I miss him so much. His fabulous quiff, his gorgeous brown eyes, oh his eyes, I can get lost in those so easily, and his lips, oh I miss his lips. Ugh I miss HIM! Stop thinking about him Sam, stopstopstop!

~ * Freddie * ~

I look at my laptop screen annoyed. Ugh this history assignment sucks. Never in my life have I had such a lack of motivation for school. School without Carly and Sam is just horrible. I really need to get back my motivation or else I won't even graduate this year. My mom's been up my ass about my grades 24/7. Yeah like that's going to help me mom. Ugh.

I groan in frustration just thinking about everything. After a long time I finally finish my history assignment and shut down my laptop before putting it away. I lie back down on my bed and stretch out, sighing.

I pull myself out of my bed and decide to go and see what Spencer's up to. Maybe Gibby's there too. I walk out of my room and into the living room to see my mom spraying the furniture with some sort of chemical. I roll my eyes before walking out of the door. ''bye mom!''

I roll my eyes as I hear my mom hysterically screaming ''where are you going!?''

''To Spencer , relax mom!'' I scream back before slamming the door shut and knocking on Spencer's door. It's weird to say that, I usually said 'Carly's door'. And it's weird to not see Carly there. Everything is just weird right now.

I walk inside and frown as I see Spencer lying down on his stomach on the coffee table, getting a massage from Gibby and groaning satisfied. I roll my eyes as I walk over to them. ''What's up guys?''

Spencer looks up. ''oh hey dude.''

Gibby pats me on the back. ''hey man, just massaging the old man'' he smirks as he says that, referring to Spencer.

Spencer just rolls his eyes and then looks back at me. ''escaping from your mom again?''

''yeah, she's driving me insane!''

''No chiz!'' Gibby says shaking his head.

''right?'' I nod at him.

I was glad Spencer still lived across the hall so I could escape from my mom when I needed to. I know that he's having a hard time here without Carly. He misses her more than anything. It's understandable, they've lived here together for the past like 6 years and now he's here alone.

I'm not sure how Gibby feels about Carly or Sam not being around anymore. He hasn't really showed his feelings. I guess he's okay with it. I know I wasn't though. It sucked not having around Carly anymore, but Sam not being around was absolutely killing me!

I'm not sure if Sam knows about me and Carly's goodbye kiss, but I really hope she doesn't. Although she has every right to know about it and hate me for it. Although I'm pretty sure she already hates me.

I get taken out of my thoughts by Spencer. ''yo dude, what's up with you lately? It's like all you do is think. Are you okay?''

I walk over to Spencer's computer to not face them. ''I'm fine. Just kinda worried about school, y'know senior year and everything.''

''Oh don't worry about that man, everything will be fine. You're smart!''

Yeah well there is no point in being smart when you're in love. It messes up your brain. I look back at Spencer. ''Yeah I guess so.''

Gibby looks at me and then back at Spencer, he smirks. ''I think he just misses Sam.''

I glare at him. ''What the heck are you talking about? I don't miss Sam, why would I miss her?''

Ugh why did he have to start about that. Gibby can be so annoying sometimes.

Gibby stands up and walks over to me. ''oh come on dude, you know you miss her.''

''Okay fine, yes I miss Sam. I miss Carly AND Sam. Just like you guys. Geez.''

Spencer walks over to me too. ''wow dude you need to calm down a bit. It's okay to miss them. We miss them too, right Gib?''

''yeah.'' Gibby answers, nodding.

''yeah you guys are right. Sorry, I'm just kinda stressed.'' I stand up from the counter I was sitting on. ''I think I'm gonna go get some air. See you guys later.''

''Okay'', Spencer says, ''later Freddison.''

"See ya tomorrow!'' Gibby ads to it.

I walk out of the door and down the lobby, onto the street. I need some air. Although I don't think it's gonna help me getting Sam out of my head. Gibby and Spencer can say things easily, they aren't in love with a girl who's been gone for about five months and probably hates them. Ugh why did I mess things up so bad with Sam. I'm going insane without her! I need to see her! Although I'm pretty sure she hates me, I have to know for sure if she really does…I have to find her!