PLEASE REVIEW!, to sound perfectly childish I just had a horrible evening with my birthday, a spiteful soon to be ex wife and a bottle of Lady Bligh. I don't care if you're telling me I suck I just want to hear peoples thoughts on this story...thankyou...
EDIT: Also to the guest review, nope at this point its strait out Harry/Hermione, I still have no idea what JKR was thinking forcing that bumbling moron with Hermione, smartest witch of the generation ending up with the prat that mocked and degraded her since day one...healthy... Now that's not to say outside sources aren't interested, plus Susan Bones is a somewhat interesting character and very under utilized so what I do with her well...I really don't know yet. BUT! (and pay attention here) it will be fun, and to a Marauder that's all that matters =)
As Lilly wound down her story the two adults in the room stared at her incredulously, shaking his head Sirius coughed, took a shot of firewhiskey, then a second, after a time he finally spoke.
"Well pup, that's...that's quite the tale, but you erm... you made one rather glaring mistake if what you think about Dumbledore is true," emerald eyes flashing in annoyance she asked,
"What?" Sighing Fleur spoke first, she looked more...resigned then anything,
"You told us and 'Ermione, 'Arry, if Dumbledore has done as you have said zen he can read any of our minds, and I doubt 'I ate Voldemort's soul' will really engender trust wiz the old man." Green eyes dimming she sat there for a moment, truly absorbing her folly and how she had ruined all her plans by confiding in her friends, she then abruptly began swearing in Russian. Sirius for his part sat there in mild amusement as the raven haired young woman began pacing the room, as she was now switching languages at random.
It was a testment to Hermione's patience that she allowed her girlfriend to cycle through most cursewords used in Eurasia before interrupting her, walking up behind the still rambling teen she wrapped her arms around her waist and pulled her close.
"Dear, please, I think they were just trying to emphasize that you cannot just throw this information about, I sincerely doubt a pure-blood heir and a part Veela witch lack mental shields, am I correct?" Sirius grinned and nodded while winking towards Lilly,
"Right on that account little one, sorry pup I honestly just wanted to see how long you'd ramble, I gotta say I'm very impressed with your knowledge of vulgar venacular," the Lord Black stated proudly. Nodding Fleur tapped her forehead,
"Not only iz it difficult to view my mind, zere is a very real chance ze attempt will damage the attackers mind, natural defense against wizard who cannot take no for answer," relaxing Lilly shook her head in annoyance as she broke Hermione's light grasp, the motion sending her hair sashaying back and forth.
"Well thanks for scaring the hell out of me you two, consider the lesson learned, what about Hermione?" Sirius shrugged at that,
"I can give her the basics of occlumency right now, its a mental exercise and while she won't pick it up immediately she is a frighteningly intelligent young witch and I'm sure she won't have a hard time picking it up. You can even help shore up the defenses if she lets you in her mindscape willingly, keep in mind though Dumbledore only does passive scans on surface thoughts alright? This means that as long as he thinks she's not involved he won't really bother outside of a cursory glance," Nodding thoughtfully the Lady of Slytherin stopped as her locket began hissing, glancing down at the bauble she grinned viciously.
"Dobby!" With a snap the eccentric elf appeared before her hopping up and down in excitement,
"Lilly Potter! What can Dobby be doing for you!" Smiling at the little elf she raised a brow and asked,
"Did Lovegood get my letter," Nodding emphatically the excitable little creature hopped foot to foot,
"Dobby gave Lady Lovegood the letter as Lilly Potter asked, she told Dobby that she'd write a reply once you were done talking to a Susan Death!" Stopping dead in her tracks she looked at the elf incredulously before moving on, seriously why not, taking off her glasses and rubbing the bridge of her nose she let out a small sigh.
"O...k... Dobby I'm officially asking you to be bound to House Potter-Slytherin and to be my chief house elf," shooting a quick glance at Mt. Hermione as she was about to explode Lilly quickly threw in, "And offer you a salary of ten galleons a week plus any wardrobe you prefer, is this acceptable?"
Truth be told Lilly was not all that comfortable having a sobbing house elf latched onto her leg, Fleur and Sirius' laughter was not helpful at all in that regard either. Eventually Dobby composed himself and stood ramrod strait,
"Dobby be accepting this Lady Potter-Slytherin!" There was a brief flash of magic and that was that, Dobby eyed her in shock after he was bound before he began cackling, yeah...not creepy.
"Mistress Potter is a very very strong witch, Dobby be enjoying this more then he imagined," not quite feeling comfortable with that she glanced to Hermione,
"Dobby the Lady Hermione is my...err..." wracking her brain for the elf term she threw out, "bondmate, treat her as you'd treat me all right?" Dobby agreed of course as Hermione flushed deeply, "Ok, Dobby, I've just been informed that promise rings have a warding power against mind magic, I need you to hit the Potter vault and bring the Potter family rings to me ok?"
Grinning and throwing out a rakish salute the elf disappeared in a flash, a moment later Sirius broke down into peels of laughter,
"Congratulations on the mentally unstable elf pup, and quick thinking there, where did you get the idea to use the old magics in the family rings?" Grinning viciously Lilly walked to Hermione and pulled her close,
"Salazar's locket informed me that promise, betrothal, and wedding rings held by the pureblood families block out most mental magic, the Slytherin ones were sold off by the Gaunts but the Potters should still be there." Fleur snorted at this as she put the tea pot and cups into the sink,
"A clever work around 'Arry, so now what?" At this point Hermione interjected,
"Well...after I...I accept a promise ring," at this point it should be noted she was redder then a radish, "I think we should head back to Hogwarts, Lilly can apparate were she wants so she can leave me in the library and then make her entrance. Dinner is in an hour so that gives us time to prepare." Smiling down at her girlfriend Lilly continued,
"Good idea love, Fleur...I have a request I have to honestly say I never anticipated asking..." Cocking her head the French Veela replied,
"Oh, what is zat 'Arry?" Coughing she scratched the back of her head,
"I need you to give me a makeover so I can impress the hell out of the entire school," Fleur terrified the hell out of her as she flashed a predatory grin,
"Oh, I was 'oping zis would come up, I do wonder if you have the slightest idea how to walk in heels," letting a weak 'Meep' out she was dragged away as her godfathers laughter echoed through the room.
Professor Minerva McGonagall liked to think of herself as a moderating force at Hogwarts, she was the buffer between the students and the consequences of their actions and she found sound enjoyment in guiding her wards, especially her lion cubs of Gryffindor. That being said, the past few days had been tearing at her heart, the revelations of what Albus had done to one of her favorite students as an infant burned her deeply, and seeing said child being damaged thus tore at her.
The only real conciliation was that young Harry turned Lilly seemed to jump back from something as reprehensible as a blood ward and seal quite quickly and seemed to handle her transformation in a sardonic manner, and while McGonagall didn't really appreciate the mayhem the young witch had caused with her announcement and disappearance it really was not her place to say or do anything. After all getting accepted as a family head was emancipation from all guardians.
Plus seeing Albus' reaction to it was probably worth the slight upset, the man was normally unflappable and planned out everything four steps in advance, Lilly taking control of a long dead house was not in the forecast. So while Lilly was off doing who knows what Albus had a minor meltdown and tried to blast a hole through the girls loo in an attempt to find his wayward ward, at this point Minerva had decided it was prudent to be elsewhere and let that Umbridge creature observe the Headmaster's actions in full.
It was an admittedly...mean spirited act but she couldn't help but enjoy the interaction between the two, Albus had already fallen several levels in her respect spectrum and Umbridge didn't even register, so the tit for tat was amusing for herself. With that out of mind she sat at the head table conversing with Professor Flitwick observing the students enjoying dinner when her attention was drawn to the large hall doors slamming open; soon a lithe figure sauntered through the archway acting like she owned the place. And she did if you really thought about it.
The hall went silent as the raven haired young woman in deep green war-robes approached the professors, the click of her heals resounding off the flagstones, brightly glowing eyes showing nothing short of absolute amusement. As Lillith Potter stood before the head table no one, not a soul in the entire castle could deny the presence and magic radiating off the young witch, the only thing ruining the image of pure power was the amused smirk curling up one side of the girls porcelain visage.
"Deputy Headmistress McGonagall, if I may I'd like to discuss something with you?" A bit shocked at how...formal Lilly was she nodded slightly, grinning widely the teen bowed lightly in respect,
"I just want you to know I am and always will be a Gryffindor, I accepted the title of Lady of Slytherin as a means to spite Voldemort," it should be noted that the young lady spat the name in disgust as most of the room winced, "and to gain my emancipation so Dumbles no longer has the ability to manipulate and ruin my life further. I've always respected you and consider you to be that crazy awesome aunt that tells you that you shouldn't be naughty while winking and pointing to the liquor cabinet."
Minerva had to admit, this revelation amused and heartened her greatly, the young lady wasn't lost in the slightest as Albus insisted, she was just declaring her independence, and at this point the Professor couldn't blame her. Continuing the emerald eyed beauty began pacing,
"That being said, I very much hope you'll allow me to ditch divination and pick up ancient runes, Hermione has already agreed to tutor me on past years and I studied over the summer, outside of that I really have nothing to add." Nodding McGonagall replied,
"I would like to know about your change of heart on the subjects young lady, just so I can understand your viewpoint," Nodding she replied with,
"Honestly? I took divination because it was an easy course, with that infernal blood seal holding off most of my power I was just too exhausted to care about anything and I wanted my free time. With it gone I'm free and invigorated, divination can't be taught and I have no idea why the class even exists, ancient runes though can help me murder the hell out of Death Eater's and Voldemort, I find this to be an acceptable trade-off." Impressed, and slightly wary Minerva nodded,
"Very well, but I insist you prove you have a grasp on the subject before you waste your new professor's time...also you very much need to get into uniform, while eye catching you are rather indecent," The young woman before her glanced down at her rather...excessive cleavage her robes exposed while muttering,
"Riiiiight, I knew I forgot something," she hissed a few words and was suddenly engulfed in burning green snakes, a moment later she was back in her robes. "Sorry about that Professor, anyway when Albus begins to throw one of his fits about the 'greater good' send him my way, I very much am looking forward to telling that old man what I think about being manipulated from birth." And with that she made her way to the Gryffindor tables and sat demurely beside Neville, sighing inwardly she dearly hoped that this was the extent of this semesters excitement.
As Lilly dug into her dinner she pointedly ignored the hall wide staring contest while pouring a glass of juice, taking a sip she pulled a face and came to a realization that this new body thought pumpkin juice was disgusting. Clicking her fingers at it she changed it into cider and gulped it down, glancing up at her now shocked friends she gave them a confused look,
"Wh-what?" It was finally Ginny who spoke up,
"Umm...Harry...no offense but everyone is still getting used to you being a girl-" someone down the table interrupted with,
"A bloody hot girl!" Rolling her eyes Ginny continued as if nothing was said,
"And well, that on top of the Slytherin thing, you just performed wandless silent magic," shit, ok yeah that hadn't been planned, thinking quickly she quietly replied with,
"Err...nargles?" Sighing Ginny shook her head,
"That doesn't work on me when Luna does it and it certainly won't work with you, though its good to see you haven't changed much," Ron spoke up for the first time sounding irate,
"Yeah but now she's the queen snake," 'and here we are, was wondering when this would happen,' before she could explain herself her second favorite Weasley's chimed in,
"Shove off it Ronnikins, she just pulled the ultimate prank show her respect!" She thought that one was George,
"Yeah she pulled one that would have made the Marauders jealous, she stole Slytherin!" that one might be Fred, to hell with it,
"Well Gred and Forge, I'm just living up to my Marauder heritage is all," pausing the twins smirked at the nicknames then looked puzzled,
"Your heritage?" They echoed, freaky how they do that, cool, but freaky.
"Indeed, Moony was one of my dads best friends, you know him as Professor Lupin, Padfoot is my roguish godfather, and Prongs was none other then my dad. The less said about Wormtail the better." The twins sat there in awe, suddenly realizing they met their idols and could do so again, she was promptly ignored as they began whispering to each other, that was fine with her because at that point Hermione showed up and plopped in the empty space next to her.
"Heyya Hermione, where ya been?" Ginny cheerfully asked, blushing lightly she coughed into her fist and began preparing a plate,
"I...kind of fell asleep studying in one of the library conference rooms," Ron groaned at this which annoyed Lilly a bit, 'Show my girl some respect damnit!'
"Hermione really? Its Sunday for crying out loud enjoy it!" Huh...so he hadn't made her skive any classes, good to know, Hermione just shrugged as she dug into her meal,
"Beats watching you play chess all day while rambling about the Chuddly Cannon's," he was about to retort when a familiar voice spoke up behind him, glancing up Lilly winced in annoyance,
"Well well Potter, looks like you were such a girl on the inside you had to just let it out huh?" That...that was it? Really? That is what Draco Malfoy came up with in four days of planning? Smirking at him she tilted her head demurely while placing a crooked finger under her chin.
"I do believe you're just jealous that even though my tackles gone its still bigger then yours," not her best she would admit, but it got him red in the face, and in the end isn't that all that matters?
"Listen you half-blood bitch when my-" she broke out into a laugh that grabbed the attention of most of her table mates and those from Ravenclaw, unbeknownst to her it was rather melodious.
"Yes yes, 'When my father finds out I'm a whiny little prat that insulted the head of the Most Ancient and Noble house Slytherin he'll likely shite his pants and demand I apologize', news flash ferret, I'm now emancipated, powerful, and rich, you-" she was interrupted by hissing from her locket, she hissed in return then laughed again. "Thank you Salazar, and also beautiful, he may be biased though he's still pumped up from watching my memories of kicking Voldemort's arse six times," another admonishing hiss, "Oh right seven."
Hermione was trying quite hard not to grin at the byplay, Lilly was enjoying herself far too much though the interesting shade of violet the bugeyed Malfoy was was turning pleased her so she wouldn't say anything. Lilly looked like she was ready to fire another volley when one of the most unpleasant sounds in the world interrupted her,
"Hem-hem," Lilly groaned and turned around, staring at her was the squat Doloras Umbridge, her pasty pale skin and pink cardigan doing everything they could to make her even more repulsive. "Miss Potter, you have detention tonight since you missed your last one, and did I hear you spreading lies about You-Know-Who again?" Lilly smiled winningly at her which turned on every alarm in her girlfriends head,
"Hello Ministry Appointed Instructor Umbridge, my apologies but those detentions were assigned to Harry Potter, who is now dead, I'm his better looking replacement Lilly Potter, don't worry I know how gender mix ups can happen when you do not personally resemble something outside of the amphibian family. Because I'm a kind woman I'll give you a hint, girls have tits, blokes of cocks." Utter silence reigned over the entire hall as Lilly continued to smile cheekily,
"its Professor you little ingrate and if you-" Lilly interrupted her while standing and much to Umbridge's consternation staring down at her,
"Really? I sincerely doubt you have certification from an accredited university, what are your qualifications for this job Ministry Appointed Instructor Umbridge? Is 'bigot' in the same bracket as 'incompetent' or are they given their own categories?" Now flushed in rage the toad like woman screamed,
"500 points from Gryffindor and detention for the next six months!" Still smiling Lilly wagged a finger in front of her reproachfully,
"Tut tut tut, see in order for you to have that kind of power over a founder family heir you'd have to run it past the other three families heads, seeing as they're not here and I do not personally recognize you as a professor, neither does Hogwarts. Magics funny like that sometimes." Quivering in rage which was just...unpleasant to watch the epic showdown was interrupted by none other then Headmaster Dumbledore,
"Young lady, I do believe you have antagonized Madam Umbridge enough for one evening," Lilly pouted in a way that made Hermione want to drag her into a broom closet, the witch's green eyes began glowing in mirth causing both adults to take a step back.
"Aw, I wanted to see if she'd pee herself first or try to hex me, you're no fun Headmaster," As...disappointed as he was with young Lilly's actions today the amusement was quite clear in his eyes,
"Be that as it may you are quite aware its poor form to extend a conflict over unqualified foes for ones own amusement," he had put emphasis on the word "unqualified" as he glanced at Umbridge, 'whoa zing from Dumbledore!' most of the listeners thought, Lilly for her part stopped pouting and grinned widely while lightly tilting her head towards the Headmaster.
"This is true Headmaster, if you both would excuse me I'm rather peckish so I would like to return to my meal," Dumbledore for his part realized he'd get no answers with Doloras standing there so he offered to escort the still enraged woman to the head table leaving the young lions to stare at their new champion in awe. Sitting back down Lilly basked in the adoration being projected towards her, it was such a nice change from suspicion and loathing, ignoring Malfoy and his goons who were still standing there dumbly she looked to Ron,
"And that my friend is why being the queen snake isn't such a bad thing," nodding begrudgingly Ron finally smirked,
"So, what do you have planned for Snape?" The Cheshire cat grin that slowly crawled its way up her face had most of her friends lean back in fear, Gred and Forge just returned it and as one said,
"We want in." Letting the smile slowly recede she shook her head slowly,
"All in due time boys, a proper revenge is like a fine wine, you have to choose the perfect grapes, bottle and seal it the perfect way, and let it age and mature until its bouquet is enticing enough that you must indulge." Being goggled at by most of the table sans Hermione Lilly rolled her eyes and threw in, "Or as the Klingons say revenge is a dish best served cold," that got a groan from Dean who obviously wasn't a Trekker but Hermione had looked over quickly eyes sparkling,
"You umm...you've watched Star Trek?" Nodding Lilly finished chewing on her chicken and swallowed before replying, something Ron desperately needed to work on,
"Yup, for a yank program it isn't half bad, the reruns and sometimes the movies play when the Dursley's went out for dinner so it was my guilty pleasure, why do you ask?" Smirking she leaned in and whispered,
"I uh...I wouldn't mind us trying things in those miniskirts and boots," her friends were now truly intrigued as the up to that point unflappable Miss Potter turned bright crimson and shakily stuttered,
"O..o.k...I uh...sounds good," smiling self indulgently Hermione patted herself on the back, about time the other witch had a taste of her own medicine. As the plates were cleared Lilly bade her leave and approached the Hufflepuff table, Susan Bones soon turned around to face Lilly.
"Ello Susan, I know we don't talk much but I was hoping I could ask you a favor?" Considering how the emerald eyed witch had just torn apart Umbridge in front of the whole school the Bones heir was willing to work with her,
"If I can help I will within reason, what is it?" Smiling cordially Lilly pulled out a letter and handed it off,
I'd like to meet with your Aunt sometime this week, its...importantish but not the end of the world if she can't pencil me in, I'll owe you a favor for this if she accepts, deal?" Feeling the power radiating off the other witch Susan simply nodded,
"I'll let her know tonight, but when I cash this in no complaints, ok?" Snorting the Gryffindor waved it off,
"I pay my debts, thanks gorgeous, talk to you later," and with that she sauntered towards her friends and left Susan holding the letter with a blank look on her face, 'Why in the hell did her calling me that make me happy?
Three days later found Lilly running laps around the great hall in a tank top and cut off shorts, she was running the laps here to annoy Umbridge and wearing the clothes because they were the only light clothing she had. The boys though...well they were watching for other reasons, some of them trying to reconcile the fact that she had been a he a week ago and that they very much found her attractive. To Lilly this was expected, Harry never had an easy life and she didn't delude herself into thinking things were going to get any better, but she'd admit, the leering was offsetting.
"Hey Lilly!" Slowing down from her jog huffing she turned to see Susan Bones approaching with a letter in hand,
"Auntie says she'll meet up with you today, she even sent a two use portkey, gotta get out of Hogwarts first though," Nodding she wiped the swept from her brow then grinned brilliantly towards her tentative friend,
"Thanks alot Sue, I'll go get cleaned up and take care of this," wondering what in the literal hell her emotions were doing to her Sue spun on her heel and left the hall with even more questions then before. Lilly for her part was just glad the next part of her scheme could move on, after her rather...colourful interview with Luna Lovegood she'd cleared all phases of this stage outside of meeting with the head of the DMLE. Running to the showers she hadn't noticed the dozen or so lustful gazes following her path, in many ways she'd always be a boy and not realize what she was doing until much much later. On that note, she could kill any of them with a thought, so "being careful" wasn't really an issue for her, but no one but her or Hermione knew this.
Cleaning up and telling Hermione where she was going Lilly summoned her arse kicking robes and was soon garbed in Slytherin goodness. Apparating in Hogsmeade Lilly activated the portkey and found herself falling on her butt directly in front of of Madam Bones, not wanting to lose face she grinned and said,
"In my defense, this is my first portkey with boobs," while it was completely tactless it was also so out there that the stern woman barked out a laugh and helped her up, shaking her head a few times she stumbled to the guest chair mumbling, "I really truly hate these things and wish someone in the magic world discovered airplanes..." Madam Bones just arched a brow above her monocle while she waited for Lilly to ready herself.
"So Miss Potter how can I help you?" Lilly/Tom/Harry had all learned one thing about people like Amelia Bones, don't lie, don't waste their time, and make your point clearly known.
"Well, simply put, my Godfather, the notorious Sirius Black is completely innocent of his crimes, he was never given a trial, he had just been nabbed at the scene of the crime, carted off to Azkaban, and signed off by Barty Crouch. He was not my parents secret keeper, that bastard death eater Peter Pettigrew was, Dad and Sirius thought it would be the ultimate prank on the dark cocksucker, unfortunately they had no idea their childhood friend turned on them." Looking startled the powerful woman demanded answers and she recounted her entire third year, after a time there was a brief silence and then Madam Bones finally managed to speak.
"So he's perfectly willing to go under truth serum as long as we get it sworn that he'll get a fair trial?" Nodding Lilly threw in,
"No doubt, he's sick of hiding and to be honest with you I want some family that hasn't been fucked over by Dumbledore or Voldemort, you help me I'll do everything in my power to help you." Madam Bones smiled slightly then nodded,
"You get him in front of the Wizengamot I'll give him a fair shake," Grinning devilishly Lilly's eyes began glowing in anticipation.
"Oh Madam Bones, do I have a bonus for you, what do you think of Doloras Umbridge and do you moral issues about information gathered through mind rape?"