The flight to Menae was agony. The countless hours between the Citadel and Palaven's moon were spent in fitful worried sleep, plagued by dreams of the last 36 hours -the destruction on Earth, all the people dying and afraid. When Traynor had woke her she'd almost been thankful if it hadn't felt like she'd just rolled in off 24 hour shore leave during a an 18 month deployment. She'd gone the motions with Traynor and then Liara before heading down to the armory to perform any last minute upgrades she could. They were on the approach to the moon by then and she needed something to focus on besides her own worries until went planetside.
An hour later she'd geared up with James and Liara in tow to board the Kodiak. The descent to the surface was worse than she'd expected. As Palaven loomed through the Kodiak's view screen she felt her heart shudder. The entire planet was aflame, Reapers attacking every city. Garrus was down there. She barely heard Liara's apology, knowing she was referring to more than just earth. Was he fighting, or maybe dead? She shook her head violently to dislodge the thought. Garrus was a survivor. Merc bands, Geth, Cerberus soldiers, none of them had taken him out and these Reaper bastards wouldn't either. She kept telling herself as they went over the mission briefing. Periodically Garrus's face would pop into her head and for a moment her breath would catch in her throat before she managed to steer her thoughts back to the task at hand. When James asked about Palaven her response had been wooden and the lack of emotion scared her. She felt empty, like he was already gone and she'd retreated into the safety of memory rather than face reality.
When the bay doors opened and husks started pouring over the landscape she unholstered her rifle and took more pleasure than she should have as she lined up her sights. Every clean shot resulted in the memory of Garrus's exultant voice during past battles together. "Boom, headshot." She whispered as she took out a husk that was about to vault over the barrier of a turian guard post. With Garrus in her head and in her heart she felt stronger than she had since Anderson had left her with a ship and a mission and told her to leave him behind. With a small smile and nod to the soldiers she took her team into the compound. She had a job to do and Garrus would be the last person to want her to risk the mission. As they approached General Corinthus she squared her shoulders, she had a Primarch to bring back.