Hey all, I know it's been a while but i'd lost all my previous work and i had actually lost inspiration for this story. I'm so behind on what's happening in the show lately, specially since Last season's finale. I just think it's hard wrapping my head around the fact that it's almost over.

I really hope you like this chapter.

Thanks for sticking with me, you guys are awesome!

Pippa climbed off Jax' bike and looked at the clinic before her, She knew what she wanted but something didn't feel right in her heart or her gut.

She was frozen on the spot until Jax reached for her hand gripping it firmly in his grasp "You ready?" Pippa looked towards him uncertain of the fate of their relationship and uncertain of what to really do in their current situation.

She nodded nervously as he pulled her towards the clinic.

Entering the Clinic they were met with nurses and young girls sitting waiting, Some girls the age she was when she discovered her pregnancy with Destiny.

She pitied them because she knew how hard it was to make this choice, she'd be lying to herself if she said that she never attempted to abort her daughter.

She'd walked into the clinic and walked straight back out the moment she saw a woman not much older than herself crying as she gripped her stomach and her partner standing beside her trying to comfort her through the pain she was feeling.

"Pippa?" Her eyes darted to Jax' face then to the nurse that held the clipboard against her chest and looked towards them, She'd been in such a daze she barely remembered signing the damn papers.

Slowly she stood from her seat Jax on her tail as they followed the nurse into a consultation room.

"We need to do an ultrasound before we can start the procedure" Pippa nodded as she climbed onto the makeshift bed and lifted her shirt so the nurse could prod her stomach and place the Doppler on her abdomen and look at the fetus growing inside her stomach.

A blurred grey image appeared on the screen, she had to bite her lip from letting the tears slip down her cheeks, she felt Jax' grip tighten as though he was pleading with her, begging her not to take another child from him.

She turned to face him and found the tears of a broken man falling down his cheeks, She could tell that what she was about to do would break him.

She looked back at the screen and watched as the tiny grey blob flickered around on the screen and the tiny heart beat quickly against it's tiny chest.

"I'll just go and get the doctor then he will discuss the procedure to you" Pippa nodded as she wiped the gel from her stomach and sat up.

She looked st Jax once the nurse left scared to say what she already knew

"I can't stay in here if you do this, I gotta go do something else, I can't watch you kill my baby" Pippa nodded as she swung her legs off the chair to stand before him

"I understand, Please don't hate me" Jax didn't say a word as he stood from his chair rushing from the room.

Pippa knew from the moment she told him her decision he wouldn't be able to handle it, she was shocked he'd even come in the clinic with her but she understood why he needed to leave, who could sit by and watch as your partner killed your unborn child.

"Miss Winston, I'm Doctor Elliot" Pippa turned to see the doctor enter the room followed by the nurse

"Has your partner left?" The nurse questioned.

Pippa simply nodded not willing to talk any more.

The doctor took the seat opposite her explaining the procedure and what would happen after but all Pippa could hear was a white noise, she blocked out his words as the real reality hit her at full pelt.

If she took this baby out of the equation then she and Jax wouldn't stand a chance,

he'd never truly forgive her not after she'd already taken those first years with Destiny from him.

He said he was okay and that he understood but she knew that it didn't matter if he understood, it still killed him knowing she had all these first memories with their daughter that he never got.

"Miss Winston, Did you understand what i said?" Pippa raised her head slightly looking between the pair

"I'm sorry, I've made a mistake" She shot out of her chair and rushed for the door hoping Jax would still be waiting outside for her.

Jax stood outside a cigarette in his mouth trying to wrap his head around the image he'd just seen on the screen.

He couldn't understand how Pippa could be so cold and see their child on that screen with a fluttering heartbeat and still be so determined to kill it.

"I thought i'd find you here" Jax looked up to see his mother climb from her car, this was all he needed.

"What you doing here?" Gemma removed her glasses from her face and pointed towards the clinic

"More to the fact what are you doing here Jackson?" Jax sighed as he walked towards his mothers car and leaned against it

"Pippa's pregnant and well.. She doesn't want another baby right now" Gemma stood beside her son lighting her own cigarette

"And how do you feel about that?" Jax slumped his shoulders forward

"It's our baby Mom, I saw its tiny little body on that screen, it's heart-beating. How can she want to destroy our child, I just don't understand. I missed out on Destiny and now i'm having another child ripped from my grasp"

Gemma rested a hand on her sons shoulder giving him a reassuring squeeze

"Does she know how you feel?" Jax nodded as he flicked the cigarette away from him

"She knows just don't think she cares" Gemma sighed

"I'm going to go have words with that girl, She can't get rid of this baby, We don't believe in this shit in our club."

Jax shock his head and grabbed his mothers elbow as she walked towards the entrance

"No Mom, this isn't club business. This is mine and Pippa's shit. It has nothing to do with the club nor you"

Gemma turned to her son reaching her other hand for his cheek

"You're my baby and seeing you so upset by this decision involves me, You have a say in this baby too Jax. She can't just abort my grand baby and think everything's gonna be hunky dory"

Jax groaned "Just leave it okay Mom, I'll deal with it myself. Just go home"

Gemma didn't like being kept out of the loop when it came to Jax' life but she agreed climbing back into her car and heading back to the clubhouse.

"What did she want? To give me a piece of her mind for killing our child?" Jax spun around to find pippa standing a distance behind him

"I didn't know she would show up" Pippa nodded

"Yeah sure Jax, first sign of relationship troubles and you call Gemma."

Jax followed behind her groaning

"I didn't Pip, She just showed up asking questions, She listened to me." Pippa spun around angrily

"And i don't? I've tried looking at this from all angles Jax. I've thought about this none stop since we found out"

Jax could see the tears spilling down her cheeks, he could see the pain in her eyes as she spoke

"What do you want me to say? I'm okay with you killing our child because i'm not! It's killing me knowing that you are going to destroy something that we created out of love"

Pippa wiped her tears from her eyes as she walked towards him

"I couldn't do it. Happy now! I knew how much you wanted this baby, how much you would hate me if i took this chance from you again. I put you first, You and your mother get this baby and i'm the one whose stuck carrying it"

Jax could see it, the conflict in her eyes, the anger the pain everything he'd felt because she wanted to destroy their child and now she was committing a selfless act and giving him what he wanted because she didn't want too loose him.

"I want out of this life Jax, I don't wanna raise our kids like this! I don't want Destiny to become an old lady and i don't want a son who will be raised like you"

Jax nodded as he took hold of her shoulders pulling her towards him holding her in his arms

"I promise, We'll get out" Pippa nodded against his shoulder as more tears spilled out of her already swollen eyes.

Arriving back at home Pippa ignored the prying eyes of Gemma as she walked to their bedroom to be alone.

Gemma went to follow but Jax held up his hand to stop her

"Leave her alone" Gemma looked up at her son

"I'm sorry baby"

Jax shock his head

"You can go now, I can sort Destiny out on my own"

Gemma nodded "Call me if you need me"

Jax nodded as he placed a soft kiss on his mothers cheek before she left his home.

"Daddy" Jax looked up to find Destiny calling him from the couch

"Can we watch my princess DVD tonight?" Jax nodded as he removed his kutte and jacket, then slipped his keys into the dish beside the door and hung his weapon belt above the coats

"go on then put it in the player and i'll order pizza" Destiny nodded as Jax went into the kitchen to order food for dinner, He wasn't the best cook and he knew Pippa wouldn't be in the mood.

Pippa laid on the bed hugging the pillow tightly to her chest as she peered at the ultrasound photo that the doctor at the clinic had given her, kind of a reminder that if they didn't help then the baby was still inside her.

She couldn't stop crying and she hated herself for it,

She didn't want too keep crying,

she wanted to bask in joy of having this baby with Jax but she couldn't,

this life had taught her that happiness and joy could be taken in the blink of an eye, it didn't matter if your man knew how to handle a gun or kill a man in his sleep.

She watched as her brother avoided his new born son because he'd lost his wife; how would Jax cope with two children if she was to die and leave them alone, could he leave or would he need to depend on the club for revenge or to help with their children.

A knock on the door pulled her from her thoughts "Pip, you hungry? I just ordered Pizza"

She didn't say a word, she just sat silently ignoring his beautiful yet sad voice as he called to her, he was desperate for her not to hate him.

The door opened slightly causing her to shove the photograph under her pillow and pretend she was asleep.

She felt the bed dip down beside her were he sat beside her, He reached her hair gently stroking it away from her eyes and tuck it behind her ear

"I'm sorry that i'm taking you to this place, I don't want you to be sad or hate me. I wish you could feel what i feel the minute i think about this baby, It's an overwelming feeling of hope, It's like you coming back has given me a second chance to make things right. I've been trying to leave the club for a while but now you give me something to truly leave the club for, our family; you, me and the kids. I just don't want you too leave me again because i don't think i could survive without you" Pippa had to hold back the tears and try not to hug him and tell him they could make it.

"I love you" He whispered as he pressed his lips against the side of her forehead before leaving the room.

Once the coast was clear Pippa let the tears fall "I love you too" she cried as she hugged her pillow even tighter smelling his scent.

Once Jax and Destiny had finished dinner he settled her into bed telling her a bed time story and waiting for her to sleep

"Is mommy going to be okay?" She questioned as she hugged her father tightly

"Yeah Baby girl, why you ask that?" Destiny shrugged her shoulders before answering

"She was sad all the time when i was sick. I'm not sick again am i daddy?" Jax held his daughter tighter

"No sweetheart, Mommy's just upset right now, she'll be better soon. You just get some sleep"

Destiny nodded holding her dad as sleep slowly took her into her world of dreams leaving Jax to deal with the harsh reality of the real world.

He heard the front door open and close causing him to dart from Destiny's bed side.

He didn't have his gun or knife on him so his hands would have to do.

Walking through the house he couldn't see anybody until he got to the kitchen, He sighed in relief

"It's you! Why didn't you call?" Gemma turned to her son

"I've never needed to call before, I just wanted to speak to my son" Jax leaned against the door way folding his arms against his chest

"Mom. I don't need you here causing trouble for us" Gemma grabbed two mugs from the cupboard as she boiled the kettle to make them some coffee

"I'm worried about you Jax, I'm your mother and i care about you both" Jax relaxed as he pulled the chair from the table and sat down looking at his mother as she fused around making their drinks

"She still hiding in the bedroom? Can't look you in the face" Jax shrugged as he took the mug from his mother and placed it on the table

"She's just upset right now" Gemma snickered

"Why should she be upset, She just killed an innocent baby" Jax looked at his mother angrily as he went to tell her the truth but he never had the chance

"For your information i didn't kill your grandchild!" Jax turned to see Pippa in her pajamas with wet hair in the doorway

"You feeling better?" She shrugged as she headed towards the counter pulling a tumbler from the cupboard and poured herself a glass of water

"I thought you.." Jax shock his head at his mother halting her words

"You thought i killed the baby. Well the thought crossed my mind but then i thought of Jax and how he would feel and i decided that his needs came first. That's the old lady way right? Put your old man's needs first"

Pippa walked out of the room with her drink leaving mother and son alone.

"You should go" Jax said as he stood from his chair.

"Call me if you need me baby" Jax nodded watching as his mother walked out the front door.

Jax locked up and followed pippa to their bedroom

"Sorry about Gemma" Pippa shrugged

"She's looking out for her family" Pippa said as she sat in the bed not looking up at Jax.

He stripped his pants then his t-shirt "Yeah but sometimes she comes at the most inappropriate times."

Pippa shrugged as Jax climbed into bed beside her

"I don't want you too hate me, If you still want to go to the clinic i can get someone to take you tomorrow" Pippa shock her head

"No. I made the decision to keep this baby."

Jax sighed as he reached his arm behind her to see if she fell into his arms

"I heard what you said earlier" Jax looked towards her as she rested her head against his chest

"All of it?" Pippa nodded

"I was awake, I just didn't want to talk, I didn't want Destiny seeing me like this"

Jax nodded placing a soft kiss on her head "I am sorry, i don't want this to break us" Pippa reached for his hand kissing it softly

"I just hope you can keep to your word and get us out of this life"

"I don't want our kids growing up like us. It's not a life for kids" Pippa pulled the hand she held tightly around her

"That's one of the reasons i love you; because you know how twisted this life is, you know what it's like growing up in it."

Jax held her tighter against him not willing to let her go

"We'll get through this, We'll get out and be free" Pippa turned in his arms hugging him tightly as they laid down and fell into a peaceful sleep despite all their current problems.

Feedback Welcome!

A/N: I hope you like this chapter, I wanted to touch base on Pippa's feelings and Jax' feelings and it wouldn't be a SOA fic if Gemma didn't but her nose into their business. The bigger question is Will Jax be able to get them out.