Dislaimer: I don't own Bleach. If I did, I wouldn't create amazing characters like Tatsuki and then treat them like shit. Really. She deserves better.

A/N: this thing—I took it down from my old account and I'm posting it here with a bit of editing here and there.

This is about how Tatsuki and Renji meet for the first time—in my head, of course. 'cause I ship them real hard and both of them deserve so, so much better. I guess, it's more about just Tatsuki though. In that view, this chapter is also kinda like a standalone—just a how-they-met one-shot (although more chapters will follow).

Punch

She walks past the school building. Past the convenience store. Past the playground. Past the dojo. Everything goes in a blur before she arrives at the fork in the road. Her feet freeze there. She takes a deep breath. She fidgets. Then she turns around and walks back past the dojo. Past the playground. Past the convenience store. And turns left. Walking another mile or two extra won't hurt. At least not as much as walking past his house would.

Arisawa Tatsuki isn't the kind of person to really hold onto things like that.

No.

But every time she walks past his house… she feels this helplessness, this unbearable hollowness inside of her. It almost makes her want to walk up to the door, crash into his place and beat the guy up black and blue. He's a moron after all.

But really… every freakin' time she walks past that house… all she can do is clench her fists and sprint past it as fast as she can. All she does is fight back the tears that are so lost on a person like him.

Kurosaki Ichigo… that guy is just so fucking clueless about how they feel. Mizuiro… Keigo… her. She almost, almost wishes he knew how she feels about him. But it's always just been that—an almost.

Does he not remember several of those times when she saved his ass from those class bullies in elementary school? Or those times when she'd find him sitting by the riverbank, alone, dwarfed in the shadows cast by that setting sun. She admits she couldn't do much to help back then. But at least she wasthere. And she has to admit she can't even do much to help him now. But is it fair that he won't even let her be there for him now?

She's walking past the immaculately maintained house of the Ishidas. Past the store where Chad works. Past the apartment building where Orihime lives.

Ishida… who grew from being awkwardly detached to coldly distant. Not that he was ever much of a friend.

Chad… who went from being just the-quiet-guy-in-the-classroom to the silent-presence-with-gravity. Not that she gravitates around him much.

Orihime… who somewhere along the line stopped being her 'best' friend. And that never even needed many excuses.

There's only so much you can do when people stop depending on you. For good or bad—who really knows.

But it's almost funny how easy it is for people to find replacements for you in their lives. Almost as if you never really mattered. Almost as if you were never considered to be counted upon. Almost as if you were nothing more than… a hindrance, she whispers to herself.

She probably doesn't remember the reason why she let her hair grow out. She probably doesn't remember those times they'd spent together eating cuisines with impossible ingredients.

She can protect herself now… she has even protected her. And there are so many other people she has who she can depend on after all this time. True, she can't do much to help them now. But is it really fair that they won't even acknowledge her anymore?

Has she not seen him suffer on the inside, powerless for those seventeen months? He, of all people, should know… how it feels to be left out of the loop. How it feels to be so powerless. How it feels to not be depended upon.

He sure must remember that one last match they had when he finally beat her. Back then they were—what—ten or eleven? Doesn't he really miss the 'chan' he stopped using after that?

He wanted to get stronger—and he did.

She wanted to get stronger too—but fate was never really reasonable.

Kurosaki Ichigo… he doesn't know what they must feel like… but she almost, almost wishes he knew how she felt about him.

She stops in her tracks. And turns around again. Maybe it's time she stopped taking that roundabout way. Maybe it's time she faced it. Gathered herself up and walked right past his house. And not look back. And not resent the fact that she's always been on the other side of the line. Just a dash of destiny and she was erased. Blurred into a background and not required anymore.

Only, it's so, so hard to admit it. To get on and be content with all she is, all she has. And she almost, almost wishes he knew how she felt about him.

No.

Not today.

She turns back again. It's okay. For one more day, she'll take the longer way back home. For just one more day, she'll avoid walking past that house.

And she runs straight into a tall red-head with freakish tattoos and crashes to the ground on her butt. The guy offers a hand up. He'd so be a delinquent… only if she didn't know what that black kimono meant. Only, if it were freakin' normal to roam around like that with a crazy looking katana.

She accepts the help and grabs his hand to stand up. The next thing he knows, he's on the ground with a jaw throbbing with pain. The spikey haired girl's eyes are smoldering with hate. It's all she can do to keep herself from shaking. The punch really hit so hard, her fist feels bruised. Clenched so, so tight, the knuckles are white with lack of circulation.

And she'd so like to beat this guy black and blue.

Because they are what made him what he is today. They are responsible for everything that's wrong with her life today. They took it all away from her.

And it's the first time that she's really decided that it's okay if he doesn't know how she feels about him. He doesn't need to. She's gonna walk right past Kurosaki's house and not give a shit about it. Certainly. This isn't an almost.

Only… it's not that easy to just walk away after punching a delinquent red-head with a crazy katana…

A/N: I wrote this while listening to "Goodbye my almost lover" by A Fine Frenzy. And this fic still completely doesn't make sense I don't know why I wrote something so random (I sobbed about it in a corner later)

So. Um. I plan on completing this fic this time. The next three chapters were already up there so all I need to do is edit and put them up here. I guess they'll come in quick succession.

Thank you for reading!

Reviews will be much appreciated.