Hades POV

I stopped the chariot when we hit the ground and swept out arm to show my new bride we had arrived.

"Presenting the Underworld," I said. "It'll knock you dead." I waited expectantly for her response. She scurried off the chariot and turned to face me. She didn't look as happy as I'd hoped. Her arms were crossed tightly across her chest and her face was stiff.

"So… you must be Elsa," I said. I smiled as warmly as I could. She didn't say anything. Wow, tough crowd. I ran a hand over my firey hair and she shrank back.

"What, you never heard of Hades, god of death? The Underworld?" I tried. She slowly slid her hands down and tucked them into the folds of her dress.

"Do you expect me to be impressed?" she said.

"Well… maybe a little. I mean, I just burst out of the ground and swept you to the underworld. There are souls all floating around. My head's on fire. I mean, just look at that creepy skeleton guy," I said. I pointed out Charon on his boat.

"You cannot just kidnap people," Elsa said. "Return me at once."

"What, someone missing you? Women are a dime a dozen around here," I said.

"I am not just a woman, though that would be enough. I am a queen," she said.

"Oh, sorry, your majesty. I didn't notice the hordes of guards and the dazzling jewelry," I said.

"Simply return me and there will be no further action taken by my kingdom on Greece," she said.

"Look, doll, even if you were a queen, do I look like I care about war? I can always use some more souls around here," I said. Elsa tilted back her head and looked down her nose at me, even though I was taller.

"Very well. What are your demands?" she said.

"See, there are dozens of souls here, but all they do is float around and mope. I was looking for someone to tear the place up with, you know?" I leaned forward to drape an arm on her shoulder. She flinched back and drew herself in even tighter.

"Hey, what's the hang-up?" I asked. Meg may have hated my guys, but she knew where she stood.

"If you desire a friend, you have a poor method of making them," Elsa said.

"I was thinking more like a wife," I said. Elsa stared at me a long moment before speaking.

"You can't be serious," she said.

"As serious as the dog star," I said.

Elsa POV

The instant the chariot touched ground I leapt off and faced the draugr. What do they do when they catch their prey? The legends never got that far.

"Presenting the Underworld," it said. "It'll knock you dead." It seems they can talk. My hands were tingling and my palms were starting to ice over. I pressed them against my chest and tried to replace the fear with anger. When I was scared, the ice did as it would. With anger I had more control.

"So, you must be Elsa," it said. How does it know? Oh, it heard Anna, I thought. As soon as I was free of its touch I started feeling better. Then it put its hand to its burning head. I drew back at such insanity, but it seemed unharmed. Don't let it know you're scared. It must want something. Put it in its place.

"What, you never heard of Hades, god of death? The underworld?" it said. It actually seemed surprised that I wasn't pleased it nearly killed my sister and dragged me under the ground. I lowered my eyelids imperiously and addressed it for the first time.

"Do you expect me to be impressed?" I said. The draugr- "Hades"- spewed banalities about the supposed terrors of this place. I wasn't scared of that. I just didn't want it to come near me again. I waited for him to finish. He obviously lacked the most basic common sense. Maybe he was too senseless to be much harm.

"You cannot just kidnap people," I explained. "Return me at once." Draugr or not, he was going to have to learn that.

"What, someone missing you? Women are a dime a dozen around here," he said. What a barbaric idea.

"I am not just a woman, thought that would be enough," I said. "I am a queen."

"Oh, sorry, your majesty. I didn't notice the hordes of guards and the dazzling jewelry," he said. I didn't think he really believed me. I didn't know draugrs were so sarcastic. I ignored it and pressed on.

"Simply return me and there will be no further action taken by my kingdom on Greece," I said. Anna was probably already alerting the troops. They weren't due for another week, but she would find a way.

"Look, doll, even if you were a queen, do I look like I care about war? I can always use some more souls around here," he said. I knew he didn't care about bloodshed, but I had hoped fear would compel him to think more closely. Clearly I expected too much. Perhaps honey catches more flies than vinegar.

"Very well. What are your demands?" I said. The draugr complained about his domain, which wouldn't be a problem if he wasn't so repugnant. He leaned forward closer to me and reached out an arm. Oh no, don't touch. You get away. You don't want to touch me, I thought. I shrank back, and he retreated. I really didn't have any reason to want to spare him harm. It was as much for my comfort as his.

"Hey, what's the hang-up?" he said. The "hang-up" was that I did not like being pawed at by undead monsters.

"If you desire a friend, you have a poor method of making them," I said. The fear drained back down and the anger rose up.

"I was thinking more like a wife," he said. Don't let him get to you. Conceal. He can't make you be his wife. Anna will come for you. I forced myself to breathe regularly.

"You can't be serious," I said. I willed the tremor out of my voice.

"As serious as the dog star," it said. Whatever that meant.