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Chapter 5
iWill see you soon
~ * Sam * ~
I'm sitting behind my computer very bored, I just finished school for today and am now just watching some videos on YouTube. I'm starting to dislike my life here more and more. I wanna go back to Seattle, but there's no reason to without Carly and with Freddie not giving a damn about me.
Besides, I can't leave Cat alone here now her grandma moved out of the house. Although I think she might be just fine without me, just like everyone else. But then again at the other side, yesterday I had to save Cat from an 8yearold who was picking on her. The girl really needs to stand up for herself more.
I guess that was harder for other people than it was for me though. I've had the need to stand up for myself my whole life already. Ugh here I go again, thinking about that horrible side of my past in Seattle. Don't think about it Sam, you live in L.A now, everything's fine.
But as much as I try to tell myself that my life is perfectly fine now, I know it isn't. Living without Freddie feels like absolute torture. There's no words to describe how much I miss him. I'm still angry at him though, for the way he treated me after the break-up. Ugh why did he act so cocky to me? We didn't even have a proper goodbye… Thinking about that really hurts me.
I've never felt this way before. My feelings for Freddie are different than feelings I've had for other guys. And it's scaring the hell out of me!
And then Carly, not having her around me is like hell. Ever since Carly and I have been best friends we hadn't been apart for one single day. Carly was the one who kept me smiling. But now I haven't seen her for 5 months, I miss her like crazy, and I feel like a part of me is missing. Eww what the fuck Sam that sounded so cheesy.
I also miss Spencer a lot. Though he is Carly's big brother, it kinda feels like he's mine. And I hate it that I haven't seen him for 5 months.
And as ridiculous as it sounds, I even miss Gibby and his weird behavior! Gibby's weird, but he's a great guy and I guess I do love him, as one of my best friends.
Ughhh. I sigh and walk to the kitchen looking in the fridge for some meat. Cat's gonna be out all day and night since she's having a sleepover at that girl Tori's house. She asked me if I wanted to come but I don't really feel like it.
So I guess it's just gonna be me, the tv, my PearPad, my meat and my ice-cream today. I grab some ribs and flop down on the couch, eating one of the ribs and switching on the tv, groaning as Girly cow is on. Great, more things that remind me of how much I miss Carly.
It doesn't matter how much distraction I have, I still keep thinking about how much I miss my friends. And especially about Freddie…ugh. Puberty has been really good to Freddie… He's actually standing up for himself more now. And he's gotten so much stronger over the years. I even caught him going to the gym THREE TIMES A WEEK! The boy's been working out like crazy! And he was making great progress! Cause gosh those muscles, those biceps, they are SO SEXY. Right now there is only one place in this world where I want to be, In Freddie's strong arms.
Oh gosh stop it with the fantasies Sam! He doesn't want you anymore! Thinking about that gives me an incredibly sad and empty feeling. Ugh, LOVE SUCKS!
I wish I had never fallen in love with Freddie, I wish I never kissed him, I wish I never dated him, I wish I never even met him! Ugh. No, now you are just being ridiculous Sam. But I do really wish that my feelings for him would've disappeared after the breakup. But they haven't. In fact, they've gotten worse. Ugh.
I try to think of different things but all my thoughts just keep swirling around in my head. And my sadness has gotten even worse since Freddie AND Carly haven't replied to my latest messages, while they usually reply to me immediately.
Ugh these thoughts are gonna drive me insane one day. I stretch out on the couch, lying down the most comfortable way possible. I close my eyes, trying to clear my head. After a few minutes I slowly drift off to sleep.
~ * Freddie * ~
I wake up early in the morning, stretching myself out excitedly. Today's the day, I'm gonna see Sam again! YES!
I have to watch out I don't get my hopes up too high though. I have to prepare for the worst thing that can happen, Sam hating me and slamming the door right in front of my eyes when she sees me. Thinking about that makes me feel sick, it'd be absolutely horrible if that will happen. But honestly, I'm terrified that it will.
I get out of my bed and walk into my bathroom, I take off my boxers and get into the shower. I run the water and lean my head back, letting the hot water stream over my face. The shower is the only place where I can clear my head. I sigh deeply, trying to get all my thoughts out of my head.
I put some shampoo in my hair and soap on my body and rinse it out slowly. I keep standing under the showing for a couple minutes, trying to relax before getting out and drying myself.
I stand in front of my closet, what should I wear? I decide to wear my grey-blue shirt. When Sam and I were still dating she said she loved it on me. Let's hope she still does. I grab my dark jeans and put them on. I quickly put my hair in a nonchalant quiff, the way Sam loves my hair.
I put on my shoes and grab my stuff before walking into the bedroom and saying goodbye to my mom.
I leave my apartment and knock on Carly's door. It feels good to say that again. I am really glad Carly's back. I walk into their apartment to see Carly, Spencer and Gibby standing in the living room completely ready already. Am I that late?
Spencer looks at me. ''Dude what took you so long? We've been waiting here for you for over 20 minutes!''
Oops. I guess I did was late. ''Is it that late already? Oops. I'm so sorry guys.''
Carly walks over the me and pokes me in the side, smirking. ''It's okay Freddie, I understand you wanna dress up all fancy for Sam!''
I glare at her and he just smirks more widely at me. ''Freddie, come on. Why do you keep hiding it? You're still deeply in love with Sam.''
''Ugh stop it Carly! Can we just go?''
Spencer gestures us to follow him. ''Yup! Come on kiddos!''
We all walk after him to the car and sit down, Spencer and Gibby in the front and Carly and me in the backseat. This is slightly uncomfortable.
I guess Carly is feeling the same way cause she shoves away from me as far as possible.
Carly suddenly lowers the volume of her voice so Spencer and Gibby don't hear us. ''I need to talk to you about something…''
Oh god that sentence never means anything good… I wonder what she's gonna say. ''Sure, what is it?''
''Well, you remember our…goodbye kiss?''
I sigh. Ugh I didn't wanna be reminded about that. ''yeah…I think it's better if we don't talk about that…''
''I just wanna make clear that I had no idea why I did that. I was just scared you would forget about me when I left, so I gave you something that would remind you about me. I don't have any feelings for you. It was such a stupid thing to do. I'm really sorry.''
Well that made sense I guess. I'm glad Carly doesn't have any feelings for me. Cause obviously I don't have feelings for her either. ''Oh…well that makes sense then I guess. I'm glad you told me. I feel the same about you. You're my best friend, no other feelings. '' I smile at her.
She smiles back at me. ''good. So are you mad at me for it?...''
Although I was kinda mad at Carly, it wasn't her fault. She was just confused and scared, and so was I. It was my own stupid fault that I kissed her back. Ugh I still don't know why I did that. ''No. it's fine, you were just confused. So was I… But everything is clear now. We don't have feelings for each other.''
''Yeah you're right.'' She smiles at me again and then smirks at me before looking at me seriously. ''Now, just admit you're still deeply in love with Sam. I realize it in everything you say and do! Just stop hiding it! You don't have to be ashamed for it!''
Well Carly has seen right through me once again…I guess I should just tell her the truth. I sigh deeply. ''Okay fine, you're right.''
Carly smirks at me. ''Finally! I knew it!''
I roll my eyes. "yeah yeah Carls…''
Carly shakes my arm excitedly. ''I'm gonna make sure you guys will get back together okay?''
''Urh I don't know about that Carls…last time you did that Sam and I ended up in a break-up.''
''I know. And I'm SO sorry about that! I feel really bad about it Freddie. Cause you guys are made for each other! Which is why I'll do everything to get you back together!''
''Alright…''
''Okay so first, you'll need to apologize to Sam for being so cocky to her. Seriously dude, why did you do that?''
''I have no idea!'' I groan. ''I guess I was just trying to push away my feelings. I don't know if apologizing will help Carly…I'm pretty sure Sam hates me.
''No! nonono don't say that! She's just hurt right now. Trust me, it looks like she hates you, but really she's just broken and she loves you!''
''I'm not sure Carls…''
''Shush!'' Carly cuts me off. ''Shut up and think about what you're gonna say when we get there. Everything will be fine!''
I sigh. She's right. I try to think of things to say till we arrive in L.A. Carly tells Spencer where to go and oh my god…we're here.
I get out of the car nervously. Carly tried to make me see Sam without Carly, Spencer and Gibby first. And after a lot of arguing I agreed to it. God I've never been so nervous in my entire life!
I walk towards the door and take a deep breath before ringing the doorbell. I look over my shoulder at Carly nervously and she gives me an encouraging nod.
My heart starts beating faster as it ever has before when I hear someone walking to the door and unlocking it.
I see the door opening and oh my god, there she stands. My oh so beautiful Sammy. Holy shit she looks gorgeous. I missed her SO much!
