"I have passed through fire and deep water, since we parted. I have forgotten much that I thought I knew, and learned again much that I had forgotten." ― J.R.R. Tolkien

The days passed in monotonous silence or was it only hours? In the near darkness and solitude of the cell time was elusive. Here and their scratching of rats could be heard, Legolas strained his ears for the sweet sound, it was something, a connection to life…He had so little of that now. After Luminar's death after Orestor's death, after all the deaths he had witnessed…he was nothing…empty…he shook his throbbing head. Illusion and reality, both collided, his mind entering an empty dark plane of existence. Was he still among the living? Or somewhere else?

The silence was excruciating. The slow dull pulse of his beating heart was almost faint. Something dark crawled down his spine slithering in his insides. Illusive, it ate at the edges of his consciousness biding its time. He did not know what it was…but it frightened him. It was dark and raw, and more potent than any feeling that he had ever felt before. It was strong…so strong he feared he could not fight it, not understanding why he even wanted to fight it…it felt foreign but yet a part of him. His body was numb, when had the sun last rose? He could not remember seeing it…

He shook his head attempting to clear his mind…but the voice returned. It whispered in his ear. It spoke of his weakness. But he was not weak… was he… "Weak"... "I can make you stronger"…the voice spoke of promises of agility and speed no other elf possessed. Of power and purpose…he had so little of that now… "Ada…Saes…I'm sorry I failed you…Luminar, Orestor, Orek Galion… I wasn't strong enough to keep the orcs at bay…I wasn't enough…" But the dank cell gave no answers. "I will be enough…if you only let me…"

"No!" He snarled…at the darkness or was it his own mind? Was it him? Speaking to him? Or was it the darkness? It sounded like the voice of his mind…similar was the voice but foreign were the words…speaking to the voice was like fighting an uphill battle. Why was he arguing with it? Did it even matter what it was? He needed strength to protect Mirkwood. To leave, escape this place…but he feared it…it could lie…A shiver ran down his spine. He would fight it…but how long could he last?

He leaned on the balcony, arms crossed, a cool breeze licking his face as he looked at the elven soldiers training below. It had been two days since his last visit to King Thranduil and after that he had not the heart to visit his Adar and neither had he needed to. Adar…in nothing but in name…Adar…his gaze turned to the sun… the word was both his retribution his salvation… He did not think it would affect him so. Seeing his father in such a state, a father he barely knew…but what he saw…what he felt…the light that Thranduil had…it was potent and it was cold. Being next to Thranduil had made him cold. Had made him remember his years in Mordor when he was alone with nothing but his sword and his will to die…he sighed, breaking off the thoughts eyes returning to the soldiers… How many years till he would forget the darkness? It seemed to permanently cling to him…as if marking him its own. No matter…they were only dreams now…they had become less frequent yet now so exposed to the darkness that resided in Mirkwood… his bandaged wounds were torn open anew, raw and bleeding like the part of his heart he had left for the Adar he had wanted to meet for so long…it seemed another gash would be added…but in the end…did it matter? He had an Ada…he did not need two…yet still a part of him truly wished to be acknowledged in Thranduil's eyes…

A shudder traveled down his spine as something touched his shoulder. His eyes flashed but years of training stayed his hand.

"I apologize my Lord." the hand quickly retracted realizing it had intruded on a private moment. The emerald eyes of an Elleth found his own.

"Lieutenant Tauriel?" She nodded at his mild surprise; he had not expected any of the Lieutenants to befriend him or even wish to speak to him outside of duties and the council chamber but why not?

"Just Tauriel…" He bowed his head in assent dark blue eyes searching her own, as his form relaxed ever so slightly in her eyes. "You have need of something?"

She shook her head a sigh escaping her lips. "I came…I came. to thank you…" Her voice was hesitant as if unsure what to expect, the prince's moods were too inconsistent for her to be sure of his reactions to such things... He was no Thranduil, cold and concise bearing down on her like a storm. But he was no Legolas either. She could not grasp him…and yet most of his reactions were as if on que to some ethereal realm of orders that he had memorized from elven lore. Or perhaps she merely did not know him well enough to know yet what he was.

"For your muindor?" His eyes flittered back to the soldiers below as if inviting her to join him. She leaned on the balcony peering over it out of habit. "Yes… I…his behavior was out of line…I…" His eyes studied her then looked out into the distance.

"I beg of you…" she fell to a knee impulsively. "Don't send him to his death!" She did not beg, she did not bow, but for her brother…for his survival she would stop at nothing. She would do what it took to protect him. Hard eyes met the princes. "Let him go."

"Or you'll do what?" He asked evenly. His stance shifting as a hand lingered over his sword. Her bow was instantly in her hands arrow notched. She froze suddenly as her eyes caught the movement of the soldiers below some elven ears had caught the exchange. The dark blue eyes shone as a thin smile graced the prince's lips, he turned back to view the sword play below and then he laughed. It was low and lasted for a good half a minute but it was one of the warmest laughs she had ever heard. Her eyes flickered to the men and women who had returned to their training some confused others content at the lighter yet misjudged atmosphere. Slowly she lowered her bow as she studied the prince's handsome profile.

"I am sorry… that was uncalled for…" Her face brightened with shame as she realized what she had done. "I did not mean…"

"No you did not…" the voice that cut her off was cool and sharp. He did not look at her but she could feel a cool danger radiate from him the sun casting shadows on his now bowed head made him appear almost alien, like Thranduil...

"I…"

"Tauriel." His eyes were on her. "Why is it that nearly every other word you say has I in it?"

"Because I-" Her eyes widened as she realized what she had done. "I'm sorry." She chuckled slightly at her own repetition of the word. Arrai joined in but his face lost none of its seriousness. "Tauriel when you come to a King and ask for favors threats should not be your arsenal. If a king, no if a man feels threatened, do you think they will be more apt to bend to your will?"

She sighed. "No…"

"Then why are you and your brother so quick to threaten that which does not wish to harm you?"

Tauriel leaned against the banister refusing to meet the prince's eyes. "My Adar…he feared nothing…he was always fighting for what he believed in…"

"Fighting and attempting suicide are two different things." She thought he was still angry but his light tone and thin smile were all forgiveness. She was confused. "I do not understand your words…are you not angered?" She was used to dealing with Thranduil who was all hate and Legolas who was all forgiveness… but she did not understand how to approach this king.

The prince sighed. "Jests aside I'm sure your father was a great man. However my Ada taught me that a man must learn to choose his battles and know his enemy. There are times when one sees enemies where he ought to see friends. And better to retreat from a losing battle if it bring little gain then fight to the last man for foolish pride."

"My pride is foolish?"

"Your refusal to see your King as your protector is what is foolish. Tell me what would I gain by having several elves hold down an unarmed man on my front lines? If he were to suffer in such a way the death would come too quickly for him to suffer and the elves holding him down would be endangered as well should he break free. And if I sent him armed? What use to me is an elf who may decide to stab me in the back?"

"So you are saying you will not punish him?" Her eyes widened, "You are forgiving him?"

The prince chuckled at that, hard eyes on her. "Tauriel do you not think helplessly sitting in a cell while his brethren bleed for Mirkwood is not punishment enough? I assure you he will suffer greatly."

"I do not understand…" Her brother would be safe while the others fought? He would suffer perhaps yes but he would be safe, alive.

The prince sighed leaning further onto the balcony a hand running through the petals of an everwhite. "What would my brother have done then?"

The eyes caught hers. Her voice choked in her throat… "Forgive him…"

"I see…" He frowned now stroking the petals with the back of his hand, "And my Adar?"

"He would not cross King Thranduil…he loves him like a father."

"And you loved Legolas?" His keen eyes met hers and she was taken aback at the softened eyes.

"No I…" She sighed. "Why do you say that?"

"I heard rumors the servants talk as you well know…and Galion told me you grew up together did you not?"

"Yes we did… but why…"

"What was he like?" The eyes of the prince were beseeching, and so young that she was taken aback as she realized his age. Only little over a century yet he seemed far older than her…

"He was…" A thin unbidden smile crossed her lips. "He was like the sun… always full of hope and joy and laughter…not too much, but alive…he did not wear armor but one time he wore those of elven making of old and he shone as bright as a star in the night sky…"

"I… I see…" Arrai's eyes were on the sun as if trying to picture this brother he had heard so much off yet had never laid eyes on.

"How did he fight?"

"He preferred the bow," she smiled at the memory, just like herself. "He moved with grace faster than a human eye could catch. He was a prince in battle…just as much as prince of all Mirkwood…"

"He was loved?" The question was hesitant.

"By all of Mirkwood…" A confused look flittered over the prince's face. "Yet you did not love him?" She sighed as she leaned on the balcony a comradery of sorts returning in their conversation. Speaking of him was not easy… yet he was gone, and now what she felt mattered not, he would never hear her.

"I loved him centuries ago…but King Thranduil was against it, at first I ignored it then spoke to him of it until I realized that to him Thranduil would always be first… to make him choose would be cruel, I was patient, I could wait…then I fell for another… that passed and..." she sighed, it was strange to be saying this to one she knew so little yet he was not just anyone, he was Legolas's younger brother, and that to her made him closer to her heart… and she wanted him here…perhaps Arrai wasn't Legolas but he was something…"It is not simple."

"Nothing ever is." He murmured as he rose back to his full height.

"I apologize I asked…this must be painful for you…the remembering…"

She frowned inwardly…she had cried her tears and yet she was not saddened it was the same with her Naneth and Adar, the shock lasted for months until she allowed herself to acknowledge the loss, every death still felt so surreal to her… "At times…I feel he is still among the living…I don't know how to explain it but…I can't believe he's gone."

"I wish he were not gone as well…" The prince's eyes were distant they glittered as they caught the rays of the sun unshed tears in them…

"My Prince…"

"It is nothing."

Her eyes lingered on his face, her own hand unconsciously reaching for his cheek. He was different, his eyes, the lilt in his voice, the way he carried himself. She could almost believe him to have always been King of Mirkwood and merely returning from a prolonged absence. But he was very young…too young to be doing what he was…she had failed one prince…and was never acknowledged by the King, but she need not fail this prince need not fail this King…He flinched away at the last second eyes closing in apology as his hand grasped hers almost at his cheek. She would have recoiled on instinct but his regal stance and demeanor and the look on his face it made her pause. He was young…but at that moment he appeared far older then even her…it frightened her to see this shift…his eyes opened as he gazed at her apologetically and they were full of so much rawness that it frightened even her wild and free spirit. She would have spoke gave him some words of comfort perhaps but their conversation was interrupted by messenger nearly out of breath. My Lord Galion calls you to the War Council…orcs have been spotted.

Arrai's eyes widened moment lost his face a mask of guarded caution as he turned away from the elleth voice alarmed. "How many?"

"Enough to be an army my Lord…Come quickly, Lord Galion says it will not be long ere they reach our outermost defenses!"

"Enter, enter." Haldir and Lord Glorfindel upon knocking on the large double doors built into a mountain were ushered into a large spacious hall with a high ceiling. Orophin having stayed back with the men letting them have a well-deserved rest.

Saruman was all he was said to be and more. His penetrating black eyes took in everything and his white cloak was so colorless that it gave off a sheen of silver, if one looked closely enough.

In the center of the room was a table with various flasks and cauldrons whereas at the sides tables were arranged, scrolls scattered everywhere even on the floors.

There was some scurrying heard while the wizard moved around several scrolls and a cauldron. "Well then don't just stand there; I don't need Gandalf making issue on what a terrible host I am." The wizard grunted as he struggled with an overly large scroll dumping it onto a shelf which reached to the ceiling.

While Haldir inspected the high cavern walls and scrolls with curious eyes Glorfindel merely observed the wizard chuckling, "I see age is treating you well."

"Better than yourself, you see young ones take me seriously. It's all in the wrinkles; tell me how seriously does your son take you?" The White Wizard began pulling up chairs with Glorfindel following suit as Saruman scurried about moving away several specimens which looked like frogs his agility quite a contrast to his aged appearance. "He was your questionable source?" Haldir frowned remembering Lord Glorfindel's unsurity at wizard's presence in the Mountains of Nimrodel, quite confused at this statement now as the younger elf was quite reliable.

"Wizards travel often," Saruman interjected, "No doubt you are more than aware."

"Indeed, you still remember him? Or is old age taking memory away already?"

"Met him?" Saruman gave a sardonic laugh; it was only half a decade ago, "I'm old, not senile. You taught him well I say…he drew on me."

"He told me no such thing." Glorfindel replied sudden worry in his voice.

"I asked him to of course. Lasted quite a while too, though in all truth I was loath to hurt him… Now then what shall we have tea or Dorwinion wine?"

Glorfindel raised his hand in refusal a thin smile playing on his lips. "Ah yes that incident…he spoke to me of it, however I have not come for mere pleasantries I came seeking counsel."

Saruman froze mid step head turning sharply. "Counsel? My friend if you do not know it I doubt I know it."

"It is the looming shadows."

"Still quite blunt eh?" Saruman sighed scrutinizing the two elves, down his aquiline nose. I've been comparing records and adding up dates. You and I both know what for.

Haldir stiffened. "Ah you did not tell them?" Glorfindel shook his head as he collapsed into a chair a finger pinching the bridged of his nose.

"Well then we can speak of old times later. Sit sit." The white Wizard began gathering several scrolls while the elves sat in their chairs. "Now then," he said returning and discarding the scrolls onto a desk at the side and pulling out a covered round object from one of the lower shelves scattered about the cavern. "You can peer for yourself, if you wish." Glorfindel's eyes widened in horror, silver eyes on the pitch black of the wizards. "Why do you have that accursed object?"

"Magic is magic my friend it is neither dark nor light, all that depends on the user." Saruman replied as if reading a rehearsed ballad.

Lord Glorfindel's frown deepened. "The user who created that item was pure darkness." Saruman shrugged placing it on a shelf at the side. "I am carful my friend."

"It's not a matter of careful it's a matter of time." Glorfindel's concerned eyes flitted from the wizard to the source of his discomfort.

"Someone has to do it! Do not forget we are living through dark times." Saruman muttered as he settled down.

"You will lose yourself to it."

"We shall see." Saruman batted away the concerned voice of his friend eyes now on the two elves his voice taking on foreboding tone. "I have seen many things; the darkness grows at the borders amassing slowly. Slowly it shall rise and slowly shall it gather its potency…and then it will strike."

Glorfindel's horrified face froze the hairs on the back of Haldir's neck. "How many a time have you gazed into the darkness?"

"Enough times my friend… I do what needs to be done…" Glorfindel shook his head. He was not here for a philosophical debate. He needed answers. "The orcs they no longer reek of darkness."

Saruman's eyebrows knit together in contemplative silence. "Indeed…" His eyes closed as if in deep meditation. Haldir wished to speak but the intensity of Lord Glorfindel's gaze stayed his tongue.

"Ah yes…" The ancient wizard's eyes snapped opened, his face appearing as if just having made a startling revelation. "They have been made resistant."

Haldir's eyes widened but Lord Glorfindel spoke for the both of them. "How did this manner of evil come about?"

"Resistance, quite ingenious really." Saruman chuckled drily though Haldir found little humorous in the situation. "Resistance and careful breeding if I may correct myself, how this has eluded us I know not, but when I was given the Palantir-"

"Who gave it to you?" A sword was at the neck Glorfindel's keen eyes were on the wizard the air charged dangerous, an apex of a storm bearing down.

Haldir feared a battle would erupt but Saruman merely chuckled drily once more. "Still ever vigilant my old friend, you have little to fear I assure you. Radagast the brown was the giver, he himself found it at an abandoned ruin. You and I both know he would not come close to evil."

"I am not so sure now." Glorfindel's blade pressed into the neck countenance cold and unyielding.

Saruman shook his head fondly. "He came to me for assistance to destroy it…"

"Yet?"

"I bade him to stay his hand." The eyes narrowed if that were even possible. "I know what I am doing Lord Glorfindel." The voice was low and even full of sorrow.

The sword hesitated and it was clear that Lord Glorfindel was not convinced but he retracted his sword if slowly. Saruman nodded at him mouth thinning. "Should the day ever come when the darkness takes me…kill me…do not hesitate."

Glorfindel's eyes found the older wizards. The air settled and he sat back down face inclined. "I am sorry for the doubt."

Saruman sighed face apologetic a hand gripping at his staff tighter. "As am I, but sacrifices must be made, what is one such as I when placed to the other side of middle earth. I do not fool myself, while my faculties are mine own I must confess I may not walk away from this. However better I have warnings for the White Council and strategies against the darkness from seeing its devices then I emerge unsullied and middle earth fall for my negligence."

Glorfindel sighed much to the wizard's amusement. "Now then I believe we have some time to speak, for I shall need to travel to seek Gandalf soon." And with the assent of the elder elf the three delved into more pleasant topics, as the ever vigilant darkness struck at middle earth.

Note: To begin with not much time to edit, but wanted to get another update fast before I get bombarded with finals. And yes reviews tend to encourage me! I got so many this time!

Okay guys I know Legolas has had less appearances thus far but at the moment he is basically a prisoner. I know we all love Legolas Angst but come on lets be real there's only so much the shadow can do without killing him. But don't worry he will have his screen time or story time so to speak, just not at present.

Saruman going evil? How's that different from Denethor at all? It's very very different. Here Saruman is aware that he may lose himself in fact he suspects he will. He is powerful, a wizard even but he is aware of the price. While Denethor assumes he will emerge the victor over the Palantir Saruman is aware he may as well lose his very soul. The thing is he is willing to give up himself so that he might be able to find out things of the enemy. The big difference is that one is arrogant and one is so sacrificial that he is willing to give up his very being for middle earth. Why did I do this? Well he's Saruman the white head of the council of Istari it wouldn't make any sense if he didn't realize how powerful the palantir was and underestimated the enemy as many would. He is not an amateur when dealing with darkness or shouldn't be in any case especially if he is at the head of the white council. So hence here he knows and we get a glimpse of him before he had around 70 years of Palantir contact and then nearly as much before he fully turns. Okay this is not cannon I built this in myself but it makes a lot more sense I think.

For those of you freaking out with the Arrai and Tauriel part no they will not be a thing! Firstly worst case scenario so to speak if Tauriel would go for anyone at this point it would be Legolas but he's not presents. What is going on with her? She really did love Legolas at one point even though at the time he was basically clueless so to speak and not ready for love as in not understanding it till much later,(women mature faster remember?), where she developed faster in that area. Now he's ready for love but in a way she moved on so to speak because in her eyes his actions will always be controlled by Thranduil and she doesn't want that. Her and Arrai? He's her last connection to Legolas, so in a way if anything were to happen between them it wouldn't be out of love it would be her using Arrai as a medium to replace Legolas. Whoever caught on awesome! Otherwise yea I think it may have been a bit subtle and maybe I will play around with this…I already have a scene in mind ugh I am so bad, maybe we will see, I didn't have this initially planned but hey depends what you guys want… Okay well if you liked review! Till next time…which may be a while exams and all…