Nayru's Note: This chapter wasn't easy to write and I kept getting stuck on it in various places, hence why it took me this long to update. It also unexpectedly expanded on me quite a bit. I'm hoping the final outcome can be enjoyable, nevertheless. xd

~4 Idiots In A Closet~
Chapter 05: Conversations over tea (?) and milk (!)

After leaving the bedroom, Conan followed Hakuba into the kitchen, deciding to take a seat by the table. The half-British detective went for the counter first, clearly intent on preparing the earlier-mentioned tea. At least the water should have been warm at that point, with how many times it was set up to boil in the meantime.

A mere minute didn't even pass before Kaito joined them.

Clearly, laying peacefully in bed just wasn't meant for the great Kaitou Kid.

"If you end up making that wound of yours open again, I'm going to kick your behind." Hakuba warned, sounding somewhat displeased with the other's energetic appearance.

"Likewise." Conan might have had a more neutral stance in regards to the thief getting out of bed, but he was still with Saguru on that one.

"Now Tantei-kun's kicks, I do fear."

Kuroba grinned, reaching out to playfully poke the small detective in the shoulder. Conan just gave him an unimpressed look, though there was a smile on his lips. They both stared at each other as if they knew about something Hakuba didn't.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, nothing!" Kaito reassured and waved it off, not wanting to make his classmate even more angry by saying he wouldn't be able to land a kick anywhere on him in the first place. "But hey, give me some slack - I'm curious, too. I may be aware of a few things I found out by mistake, but I haven't heard the whole story yet, either."

"By mistake?" Conan gave Kuroba a skeptic kind of look as the thief took a seat by the table, joining him at his right side.

"It's not my fault you tend to make such important calls in public places." The case with the Faberge egg? Yeah, they both knew what he was referring to. "Just between you and me, you should be a bit more careful with that. Next time it might not be just someone like inspector Shiratori to overhear."

"You were stalking me back then, weren't you?" Did Kaito see the unamused look Conan was giving him?

"Well, you know how the saying goes… 'keep your friends close, and your enemies closer'." The magician rested his chin on his hand, giving the boy a small smirk. "It was in my best interest to know what you were up to."

"Back at the time I was wondering whether you were still alive or not."

"Please." Kuroba faked being offended. "Phantom Thieves don't die that easily."

"Well, the evidence was kind of unambiguous." Conan went on. "But the police wasn't able to find a body. I'm still wondering how you managed to get one of your pigeons take that blow for you."

There was a slight pause with Kaito's expression shifting. He blinked, his smile dying down considerably. "If it had taken that blow for me, it probably wouldn't have survived."

Shinichi went silent at that information, wondering if Kuroba would go on and elaborate on it. But it didn't look like he was about to do that.

"Sounds like you two have a bit of a history together." Hakuba finally spoke up, probably finding it a good moment to join in. For further distraction, there was a mug of steaming, hot tea being placed in front of Conan, then another one in front of Kuroba. "Sugar? Milk?"

"Milk?" Kaito asked, perplexed. "Does anyone even drink tea with milk?"

"I take it it's a British thing." The smallest of the three assumed, looking at Saguru for confirmation. He was pleased to see him smirk.

"You've never had it like that before?"

The silence and the questioning looks Kuroba and Conan exchanged were most likely enough of an answer.

"Well, do you want to give it a try?"

"Why not?" Kuroba was clearly intrigued. The thief handed his mug back to the half-British detective, eager for a surprise. Conan figured it wouldn't hurt to give it a try, either. He's heard about it, but it wasn't a lie that he's never tasted tea made in such a way before.

When Hakuba prepared their drinks, adding milk and sugar, Shinichi noticed that he skipped the sugar on his own mug. He wondered if the other detective wasn't a fan of sweet things.

"Here you go."

The mugs were soon back before them again. Conan stared at the liquid's changed color before carefully taking the drink in his hands and taking a small sip. With the addition of cold milk from the fridge, the tea was practically cool enough to drink without burning one's tongue from the start.

"Hmm… It might be a bit too sweet for my taste, but it's not that bad."

Kuroba tasted it more eagerly than he did, but was quick to go still and blink. His expression turned somewhat thoughtful, not giving away whether he liked it or not. Eventually, the magician reached for the sugar bowl, adding another two spoon-fulls of the white powder before stirring it and giving it a taste again. Then he stilled once more for another moment.

"Now it's perfect." Kaito finally smiled, satisfied. "I like this."

"To think that Kid would have such a sweet tooth." Saguru remarked with slight amusement as he took a seat beside them, to Conan's left and right across the thief.

"Shut up," came a grumble as Kuroba continued to sip on his tea.

"Well, I'm glad you two like it, at least."

Silence fell upon the kitchen as they sipped on their warm drinks again, and Shinichi wondered if it was about time to start the explanation he still owed. … Not that he was that eager to share it to begin with.

He failed to count how many times he's thought about a scenario when he needed to tell Ran the truth. There were also a few instances where he almost did just that.

And yet, even after all this time, Conan still hasn't come up with a proper way of putting it all into words. If there even was one, considering. Granted, admitting it to someone like Saguru, who barely even knew him, was bound to be incomparably easier, but still…

"You're taking this surprisingly well." Hakuba was the first to break the silence, and to Conan's surprise, the words weren't being directed at him. The taller detective sipped on his tea, before he opened his eyes to look at Kuroba. "I thought you'd be more grumpy than this."

Was he was referring to both of them finding out about Kid's secret?

"Well, what did you expect me to do? Mope around and be all depressed about it?" Kaito asked, displease in his voice. "Besides, you know as well as I do that no prison bars are going to hold me for long."

The almost-carefree-but-somewhat-mocking tone seemed to anger Saguru greatly.

"This is no laughing matter, Kuroba."

"Do you see me laughing?" The thief shrugged, clearly unimpressed with the whole thing.

Before he and Kaito knew it, the London detective was standing up and ramming his hands flat against the table. Conan almost jumped in his seat, startled by the action, unsure what the hell was going on all of a sudden. He definitely hasn't seen Hakuba being this pissed yet.

"You're not taking any of this seriously. Or maybe you just don't get it yet." Saguru raised his voice and went on, angry and serious. "You think the police would lock someone like Kaitou Kid up in a normal prison cell? Even they aren't that stupid."

"I still stand by what I said." It seemed like the magician had no intention of backing down. "Hakuba, Kaitou Kid was able to open the world's strongest safe in less than ten minutes. You're clearly underestimating someone here."

"You're so full of yourself…"

That seemed to pull the last straw.

Conan only observed as the other detective suddenly moved, circling around the table to get on the magician's side. Kaito barely got a chance to react before one of his hands were getting restrained by a handcuff and yanked on, the other end of the metallic chain ending up around one of the table's legs.

The thief seemed surprised, at first. But he was quick to shake the initial confusion off, meeting Saguru's gaze with an equally serious one.

"Go ahead and prove me wrong. With no preparation, and with no access to any of your gear." Hakuba was clearly challenging him and trying to get his point across while at it.

"You think that's going to make a difference for me?" That seemed to amuse Kaito only more. "You never learn, do you?"

The cuffs slid down to the tiled floor with a metallic cling practically at the same time as Kuroba stood up from the chair he was sitting on, his hand freed of any restrains in a blink of an eye.

Saguru frowned, the anger in his features growing. He reached to pick up the handcuffs, trying the same thing again - only this time, he restrained both of Kuroba's hands in two sets of cuffs, one to a table leg each. The thief wouldn't be able to use both of his hands this way, and his movements would be very limited with his limbs stretched out like that.

Conan had the impression that Kaito didn't even bother to put up much of a fight and simply let his classmate do it.

"How about now?" Hakuba asked with seriousness in his voice, and the two stared at each other as if they had another battle going on in their own world, beside the whole ordeal outside. Conan could almost imagine sparks dancing and battling in-between them, as he observed and wondered what was going to happen next.

Then Kaito smirked, in a way he tended to do when being dressed as Kid. The thief's gaze jumped somewhere next to the half-British detective, causing a feeling of unease.

"You might want to look behind you."

"… What…"

And he did. The sudden feeling of paranoia did its trick well, causing both Hakuba and Conan to turn their heads in the other direction. It happened for barely a second, with them finding nothing out of place, but apparently that was also all it took.

"I cant believe you fell for that." Kuroba's snickering voice made the two detectives look back at him immediately. "That's like, the oldest trick in existence."

The thief was kneeling down, retrieving the second pair of handcuffs from the floor. The first one was already gone. Neither of the metallic pieces were on Kaito's wrists anymore.

That Hakuba looked surprised was an understatement. He probably wasn't much better off, either. Kuroba only smirked wider, clearly satisfied with his audience's reaction. Conan wondered if he made them look away so that they wouldn't see and figure out how he got out of such a setup. With how little time that took, and how effortless Kuroba made it look… it was crazy.

"How… are you doing that?" Hakuba finally put his wonder into words.

"The same way I did it the other five times when you were trying to restrain me." The magician looped a finger inside of one of the cuffs, starting to give it a playful spin. "Come here, I'll show you."

Saguru blinked, taken even more off-guard by the offer. But he eventually gave in to curiosity and moved forward, approaching the other with a slightly unsure frown.

"First of all, you need to do this…"

Conan watched in slight amazement as Kaito swiftly yanked on Hakuba's hand, and with a soft clicking sound, the detective was the one handcuffed to the table this time. The thief casually walked away from him as if nothing even happened, leaving Saguru to just stare at him in disbelief.

"—Hey!"

The blond detective protested, abruptly yanking on the chain while wanting to follow the other. The action forced the table to move with a loud grinding sound, almost making their tea spill all over the place - to Conan's horror. The small boy let out a panicked noise as he tried to catch the dancing mug before him, and thankfully, as soon as Hakuba realized what his actions were causing, he stopped dead in his attempts.

Kaito's idea of help was to gracefully hop onto said table and take a seat on the edge, letting his weight hinder the detective from any more abrupt pulls of furniture. He was obviously also out of his classmate's reach.

"Remember this, Hakuba." Kuroba announced before closing his eyes, shifting to make himself more comfortable. The smirk was still there, as was a hint of amusement in his voice. "A magician never reveals their secret."

"… I hate you." Saguru announced in displease, fumbling with the cuffs and clearly searching for something around in his pockets. Noticing the detective's peril, Kaito was ready to get his attention with something else:

"Looking for this?" The dark-haired teen waved around a small key in his hand.

"When did you—" Hakuba looked as if he couldn't believe this was happening, and Shinichi could hardly blame him for it. "I hate you even more."

"That must be a lot of hate." Kuroba's composure wasn't wavering. "Maybe you should start a Kid anti-fan club or something."

The detective fell silent for a moment, staring daggers at the thief. "… I'm sure Aoko-kun would join it, at least."

Conan wasn't sure who was mentioned, but he could see that the remark made some kind of dent in the magician's composure. His smile was suddenly gone. It lasted for barely a heartbeat, but it happened.

"Heh. Point for the detective."

When Kaito's smirk was back, it had something slightly bitter to it. The thief eventually hopped down from the table, making his way back to the restrained teen.

He fumbled with the handcuffs for barely a few seconds before a clicking noise could be heard, and Hakuba's wrist was free. Kuroba opened them without the use of the key, as if it was a walk in the park.

"If you weren't hurt, I would honestly punch you right now." Saguru caught his wrist in his other hand, rubbing the skin for comfort.

"You could try." The dark-haired magician corrected, quickly taking care of the other end of the cuffs stuck to the table.

"I could try another time, then." The detective finally gave in, apparently deciding to just go along with Kuroba's stubborn visions. "For now, let us return to your room so that you can lay down. We can continue our conversation there. With the way you move and hop around in your current state, it's just painful to even watch."

"I'm fine."

"Remind me how fine you were last time, when you sneaked inside of your house. Honestly, Kuroba, if you want to get better—"

"I swear, you're acting like my mother."

The magician barked, angry. He gave Hakuba his cuffs back by forcefully slamming and pressing them into the detective's chest, as if that would make him shut up.

"I can't stand being bed-ridden, okay? Trust me, I'm better off the way I am right now." The thief insisted.

When Saguru finally reached to accept the two items back, Kaito pulled away and crossed his arms before him.

"If it will make you feel better… I can promise not to hop around too much anymore."

The sudden change in tone was a little unexpected.

"… Define 'too much'."

"… You guys sure are something." Conan could only comment, not sure what to even make of this whole ordeal. He vaguely wondered for how long this would go on if nobody stopped them. "It's like you're stuck in your own, little world sometimes."

Kaito clearly took that as some kind of compliment, because he was grinning at him, looking pleased.

"Look, we're making Tantei-kun feel left out. We should fix that."

… He wasn't feeling left out. Stupid thief.

"Don't think you're off the hook just yet." Saguru threw at the magician before finally shifting and taking a seat by the table again, his attention turning back to Conan. "But you're right, I do apologize. It was your story I wanted to listen to. We got a little carried away."

"A little?" Shinichi couldn't help but tease.

"You need to forgive Hakuba for his obsession." Kuroba went along with the teasing. "As you can see, he can hardly help himself sometimes."

"Obsession?" The blond detective sounded puzzled.

"Aren't you?" Kaito asked, faking an unimpressed voice. "Obsessed, I mean? From what I'm aware of, your obsession with Kaitou Kid goes waaay deep. It almost makes me wonder sometimes."

It was obvious that Hakuba knew Kaito was just mocking him, and he didn't want to give the thief the satisfaction of wavering his composure, even if he did look and sound displeased. "Sorry for taking my work seriously."

"Like I said." Conan interrupted the two once again. "Own, little world."

"You heard the detective." Kuroba snickered, playfully punching his classmate on the shoulder. "Shut up already, Hakuba."

The hand was swatted away. "You shut up."

"I give up." Conan announced, slumping his head against the table. "Wake me up once you're done."

Shinichi tried to ignore the two running around the kitchen, playing cat and mouse. Or thief and detective, in their case. He could swear there were handcuffs involved again. And a mop. … What was that about Kuroba needing to be mindful of his injuries again?

Patience. Patience was a virtue.

It took another while, but the two eventually stopped without having broken anything - which was kind of a miracle - and the small detective managed to start on the explanation of his share of the story.

He told them the most crucial parts: about his first encounter with 'the men in black,' how he screwed up and was forced to swallow poison that was supposed to kill him, but somehow didn't. He explained how those guys weren't aware that he was still alive, and that he's been on the lookout for trails regarding their mysterious organization ever since, while needing to keep his real identity secret.

And just as Shinichi foresaw, Kaito didn't seem as surprised by his story as Hakuba was. The thief already knew about the identity part, though, so it was only to be expected. The rest probably just added a few other missing puzzle pieces to the picture for him.

"So it was actually those guys' doing that made you like this." Kuroba mused, clearly understanding everything a lot better now. "I always wondered if you were the way you are because you wanted it for identity reasons, or if it was something you couldn't help."

"You have no idea." The small detective rested his chin on one hand, feeling tired all of a sudden. "I don't know what I wouldn't do for a cure."

Hakuba forced a cough to get their attention.

"Sorry." Conan apologized for leaving Saguru out again. "The thing is… well, the poison didn't kill me, but… it made me younger, you could say. Physically. I'm actually almost the same age as you guys are."

Obviously, the half-British detective didn't see that coming. "… What."

"Remember how you suggested for me to take Kudo Shinichi's place at the Detective Koushien, since he wasn't there?"

"Kudo Shinichi… The Detective from the East, whom there's been nothing heard of, as of late." Judging from Hakuba's expression, he caught up on what Conan was trying to get at. "It's you?"

Shinichi figured not denying it would be self-explanatory. "Does the 'missing' part make more sense now?"

"That…" Words seemed to fail the blond detective. "The poison that was supposed to kill you turned you into a small boy, instead? … How is this even possible?"

"Like I said before… it's not something many people would believe." Kuroba repeated his words from earlier, confirming it to be true.

"It isn't really something a logical mind can wrap itself around, is it? Believe me, I was initially as surprised as you are." Conan went on. "But it's hard to deny something that can't be explained when it's right there before you."

The boy extended a hand before himself, as if to amplify his words. He wasn't intending to stop and dwell on it, but looking at his own, small hand with his current thoughts in mind made him feel somewhat depressed.

"For the record, Hattori knows about it." Shinichi pointed out. "He was the first person to find out about my real identity on his own."

Hakuba seemed thoughtful. "That would explain him being so friendly with someone as young as you."

Kaito already knew about Heiji being aware of it, Conan was sure. He's seen them work together various times - heard them talk on the phone, as well. Not to mention he's joined them on an investigation disguised as Hakuba once.

He wondered if the blond detective even knew about that.

"It probably goes without saying that if those guys in black ever find out that I'm still alive, they'll want to kill me and everyone I've been associated with. That's how they do things." Shinichi continued with his explanation, leaving his other musings for later. "So the less you know about them and the less you get involved with the whole thing, the better."

That earned him a skeptic look from Kaito. "You're kidding, right?"

"I disagree with that as well." Hakuba clearly joined the thief's side on that one.

"I already saw that those guys like to blow up things first, ask questions later." Kuroba added, trying to make a point. "If they find out we're acquainted, they won't really stop to ask us how much we actually know about them from you or not, will they?"

Shinichi went silent at that, a foul feeling nesting itself in his gut. Kid only confirmed what he didn't want to admit to himself all this time.

It didn't really matter whether Ran knew the truth or not, did it? If push came to shove, they'd burn down Mouri's Detective Agency and kill everyone inside of it whether they'd be aware of anything or not, no questions asked.

Unless… Vermouth could hinder the Organization from doing it, somehow. Jodie did tell him what happened after he's lost consciousness back at the docks, and Shinichi was convinced the woman didn't want Ran getting hurt as much as she didn't want him getting hurt, for one reason or another. Maybe Sharon could figure something out, if worst ever came to worst.

Not that putting his faith in Black Organization members was something he was comfortable with doing to begin with.

"Hey, don't look so gloomy."

Kaito's voice brought him back from his thoughts, and Conan realized it was better to stop thinking on such case scenarios before he started freaking out on them further.

"No sane person would even consider a high-schooler turning seven. Logic is still on your side and nobody is about to die here." Kuroba murmured in assurance. "I'd say the more we know, the more we'll be prepared for whatever circumstances that might happen, and the more we can help."

"Help?" Shinichi asked, not really expecting to hear that, and also clearly surprising Kaito with his own puzzlement in turn.

"Don't you want us to?"

That took a moment of hesitation on Conan's part. As much as he found that kind of offer alluring… it still meant that he would be getting two more people in danger. Did he want that? Wouldn't it be selfish on his part?

"As much as I appreciate the offer… I'd really rather not get you guys involved." Shinichi failed to hide the hint of sadness in his voice as he finally spoke. "It's just too dangerous."

Kuroba pouted in a somewhat thoughtful way.

"Then… how about you consider us two pairs of ears that would be willing to listen and help you with your deductions, at least? I may not be a detective like Hakuba, but…"

But he was Kid. Kid wouldn't be any less fit for the job.

"You don't have that many people you can actually talk to without putting your child mask on, right?" There was something to Kaito's voice, like he knew what he was talking about from personal experience. "I can only imagine how tiring that needs to be."

The small detective blinked, looking at the two.

"While I agree that I wouldn't mind lending an ear and a piece of mind simply because I'm curious about this whole case now," Hakuba was the one to speak up this time, "I don't understand how you're so merrily convinced you'll be able to do the same, Kuroba. Don't you have some convincing to do, first?"

"Convincing?" Conan asked in the magician's stead.

"That's right." Saguru confirmed, his voice turning serious as he looked at Kaito again. "Convincing me not to turn you in to the police. For now, I'm being considerate of your injury, but you're clearly forgetting I just found out Kid's identity, and hiding that information from the task force would make me an accomplice of the thief."

Right… Wait, didn't Hakuba say he was contemplating whether to turn him in or not? That he was more interested in his motives? Did something change in the meantime? … Come to think of it, Saguru only told him about his musings; Kaito didn't hear it since he was with Araide next room.

"So, basically… You want me to reveal the reason why I do what I do and hope that's good enough." Kuroba concluded, sounding somewhat displeased. "And what if my reason isn't good enough for a detective like you?"

Shinichi wasn't sure what the 'for a detective like him' part was supposed to mean, but with the way the magician pointed it out, it needed to be of some significance.

"I can tell that you're looking for something in particular, at least." Hakuba decided to share a piece of his thoughts. "But you need to have it in your possession in order to be able to tell whether it's the right thing or not."

"Hmm, do tell." Kaito smirked, clearly intrigued with that reasoning. "Well then, why don't you try and guess? You're a detective, aren't you?" Something challenging appeared in the dark-haired teen's eyes, as if he was positive his classmate would never figure him out. "Why do you think Kaitou Kid steals, Hakuba?"

"Not making this easy, are you?" The challenge was answered with just as much enthusiasm from the half-British detective, though. "Fine. I will share my deductions concerning Kid with you."

Before Saguru continued, he opened up his pocket watch. His expression softened as he checked what time it was.

"However, I'd like to suggest that we stop here and call it a day. It's gotten rather late." To both his and Kaito's surprise, it seemed like they wouldn't get to hear anything quite yet. "Some of us do have school tomorrow, and at least one of us could use some proper rest."

"What, no pajama party?" Kuroba just had to joke, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Conan checked his own wristwatch, surprised to find the time already being way after midnight. Well, that sure flew by fast. As much as he was reluctant to admit it, Hakuba did have a point.

"That actually sounds like a good idea. I can ask Hakase to call me in sick for school. I couldn't care less about my attendance with more important things going on." Shinichi concluded.

Saguru nodded to that. "Alright. I shall skip classes tomorrow as well, then. It doesn't make much difference for me, either."

"Wow. Kid is turning ace detectives into delinquents." Kaito seemed both amused and proud of himself. "It's a date."

"Don't go Kid-happy and run away on us." Conan threw at him, half-joking.

"I'd never."

The three quickly finished their tea (or what was still left of it, anyway,) and Saguru called someone before going out of his way to wash the mugs, not wanting to leave a mess behind. The blond detective suggested that his housekeeper could give Shinichi a lift back to his place, while they were already at it. Hakuba insisted that no matter what actual age Conan was, he wouldn't let someone who looked like a elementary-school-kid run around the streets at night.

With how arrogant and self-absorbed Conan remembered Saguru being sometimes, he was actually surprised to see him acting so considerate. He thanked him and took him up on the offer, glad that he wouldn't have to bother Okiya at such a late hour.

They made plans to meet up at Kuroba's place tomorrow again. As soon as Hakuba's housekeeper arrived, Kaito was also informed of having more chocolate bars waiting in the fridge for him, and both Conan and Saguru left.

Later that night, Shinichi received a phone mail message from an unknown number.

It was a single: "?"

He wasn't sure whether to laugh or not. Kuroba knew about the thing that's been going on with their dads. But that question mark was probably meant to ask whether it was indeed him or not, this time around.

Conan wondered how that bloody thief even got his number to begin with.

It occurred to him that he did lend his phone to Kid back at his place. He had no idea when and how, but apparently that was enough for Kaito to do his magic.

Sneaky bastard.

Shinichi back sent a single "!" for confirmation, quietly chuckling to himself in amusement.

—t.b.c.

Nayru's Note: This chapter has a double treat, coming along with a fanart that a friend of mine drew for me. You'll need to check it out on AO3 or from my profile, though, since ffnet won't let me post it here. :c