~4 Idiots In A Closet~
Chapter 07: Three detectives and a phantom thief
The message exchange didn't go far. After the small detective told him if would be better to talk about it in person - for safety reasons - they haven't addressed the topic further. And by mentioning 'safety reasons,' Kuroba had the feeling that Shinichi didn't have just Saguru in mind.
His favorite critic didn't come to visit him the following day to talk about anything, though. Kaito was mostly stuck with Hakuba. They ended up playing various board games to pass the time - which, Kuroba had to admit, turned out to be surprisingly fun. Aoko also came to check up on him once school was over, curious if he ate all of the porridge she made for him earlier.
This time - to the thief's biggest displease - his childhood friend also brought Akako along. She might have helped him out in a pinch once, but that didn't mean he trusted her. And he was positive he'd be better off without the haunted girl snooping around his house, but it wasn't like he could do much about it without making Aoko suspicious.
It also came to the magician's attention that Saguru seemed to act… somewhat different, with Koizumi around.
Kaito wasn't sure what was up with that, but he knew that he didn't like it.
"How's your cold?"
The witch asked him in that unnerving voice as she gave him a sly look, sounding if she already knew everything there was to know about his situation. Well, at least she was mindful enough to approach him with her questions when the other two weren't paying much attention to them.
"Never been better," Kaito just threw back at her in an unimpressed demeanor, playing his usual game.
The rest of the day turned out to be pretty uneventful. Hakuba suggested that they make food again, and Kaito thanked the heavens he could say his appetite was back after a few days of rest and eat with everyone like a normal person would. Yakitori (pieces of fried chicken on sticks) and dango dumplings were on the menu this time, and everyone present helped with the preparation of the dishes.
"You're very skillful with your hands, Kuroba-kun," Akako commented in the middle of their dumpling molding by the table, and Kaito had to wonder what was up with that girl this time. It was true that he made the most amount of the ball-like pieces out of all of them so far, though.
"Of course," he said as if it were obvious, playfully hiding one dumpling in the palm of his hand, only to show it having 'changed' into a into a spoon the next second. "I'm an aspiring magician. My hands are my life."
The next moment, the spoon was gone, and the dumpling was back. Aoko blinked, then grimaced at the performance, as if realizing something. "… I am not eating that."
Kaito laughed and threw the piece of batter out the window, knowing that the pigeons would eat all of it, anyway. Saguru gave him an evil look, clearly wanting to remind him he shouldn't be making any abrupt, straining movements like that.
Later that day, Kuroba realized something funny.
He was good with his hands, but wasn't Tantei-kun skillful with his legs, instead? With the way he kicked his soccer ball sometimes…
They could really make the baddest team around.
It turned out that Conan couldn't come because he got tangled in some kind of murder case. … Again. Kuroba swore that guy was some kind of death magnet with how frequently he stumbled on those all the time.
Shinichi did say that he wanted something from him once he got better - but that didn't mean he couldn't listen to the sole request earlier than that, right? And considering Kaito has always been a curious person, he couldn't just sit back and do nothing for another day.
Thus, he came up with a brilliant plan that couldn't possibly go wrong in any way.
[Rise and shine, Tantei-kun! ヾ（〃＾∇＾）ﾉ
Guess who happens to be outside of the agency?
Think you can come out and play?:)]
Kaito sent the message to his favorite critic with an amused smirk.
Now all that was left for him to do was wait and hope the other was already on his feet. It was barely six in the morning. He could have warned Shinichi of wanting to come over beforehand, of course, but the element of surprise would be lost that way. And his fool-proof plan also required for Hakuba to be asleep and unaware that he sneaked out of the house without him noticing - otherwise he'd never hear the end of it again, he was sure.
With a yawn, Kuroba stuffed his hands into his dark leather jacket's pockets and leaned against one of the roadsigns. He was dressed in a casual manner, with simple jeans and a black turtleneck, along with a cap to hide his messy hair. He didn't need a disguise to blend in with the crowd. … Of course, there wasn't much of a crowd on the streets at such an early hour. Kaito still kept a good distance away from the agency itself for obvious reasons, but he was close enough for Conan to notice him once he'd come down.
"… Kudo?"
Kuroba opened his eves and blinked to the familiar voice, only to be greeted by none other than… Hattori Heiji.
Right behind him was the girl that accompanied him more times than not - Toyama Kazuha.
… Well, shit.
Kaito's brain made a somersault as it urged him to make a run for it, but his legs felt like they were suddenly rooted to the ground. He tried not to let any of his inner panic show as he wondered what did he just get himself into and how screwed he actually was.
"Is that ya?" Heiji asked in that weird accent of his as he leaned into his direction, giving him a suspicious look. It was probably no wonder that he also sounded somewhat confused. "… What are ya doing here?"
"I knew it!" The Osakan girl suddenly yelled from behind her friend's back, pointing fingers at him. "Yer spying on Ran-chan, aren'chya!"
"Moron! Why would he need ta spy on his girl?" Hattori protested, looking at Kazuha as if she were some kind of idiot.
"What do ya mean 'why'? He's always away, making Ran-chan worry! And then he comes here like this and—!"
Kaito was about to come to terms with his situation and say something, but the two started yelling at each other as if the rest of the world didn't exist for them anymore. … The magician vaguely wondered if that's how it looked like whenever he and Hakuba were starting to go at it, too.
Well, it wasn't like he was about to complain. The less attention those guys payed to him, the easier it would be for him to—
"… Shinichi?"
Kuroba froze, not daring to turn around. He knew that female voice all too well, and he prayed to all that was holy while making a mental note to never - ever - come anywhere near Mouri's Detective Agency without a disguise ever again.
"… Yo, Ran." Kaito greeted his 'girlfriend' with a forced smile, nervously turning to look at her. It was probably a good thing that the guys from Osaka didn't even notice her yet and went along with their loud barking. The whole commotion made it slightly easier to improvise.
To his demise, Ran clearly wasn't one to be fooled that easily anymore, if that suspicious look she was suddenly giving him was of any indication. … Kid probably had their last encounter to thank for that.
"Wait, you're not Shinichi…"
The woman frowned at him, looking back and forth between him and the bickering couple behind him. Without letting her guard down - oh, boy - she leaned a bit towards him, raising a hand to say something without the other two overhearing.
"What are you doing here?"
Judging by the tone of her voice, Ran knew exactly who he was, and Kaito had a very good idea he wouldn't be getting out of this as easily as last time…
"Ran-chan!" Kazuha suddenly yelled with that annoying voice of hers, interrupting them. "This guy's been spying on ya!"
"Hey, hey… I wasn't spying on anyone…" Kuroba finally spoke up, shaking his hands before him in a sign of innocence.
"Well, whatever he was doing, I'm sure he had his reasons!" Heiji swiftly threw and arm around his shoulder in a friendly manner - like that was supposed to help with anything? - and it took all of Kaito's willpower not to flinch away from it. "Right, Kudo?"
Unlike Ran, Hattori really seemed to believe he was Shinichi. As did Kazuha, apparently...
"Of course!" Kaito went along with Heiji's 'gotta save his bro' mode, giving the girl before him a goofy kind of smile. "It's just a misunderstanding, a misunderstanding!"
The words were followed by the magician bringing his hands together - in such a way so that the couple from Osaka wouldn't notice - silently pleading Ran to go along with it and not sell him out.
It felt like hours, when the world reduced itself to Mouri's judging stare and him.
"It's fine, Kazuha-chan." Eventually, a verdict was made. Ran turned to her female friend with a convincing smile. "Shinichi actually called me before coming here."
"Eeh? Ya should have said so from the start, geez!" The girl with the pony tail didn't bother to hide her… disappointment.
When Kaito wondered for the hundredth time what kind of crazy people Shinichi was associated with, Heiji nudged him with an elbow - probably in order to get his attention and ask what happened.
He did get his attention, indeed, considering the action made Kuroba wince in pain. Clutching his poor side, he tried not to kneel over and silently convince himself that the wound wouldn't open up again from something like this - and that Hakuba wouldn't kill him, by the off-chance it actually did.
"Whoa, hey— ya alright?" Noticing his peril and clearly missing what's actually caused it, Heiji yelled in a worried tone, before his voice turned a quarter more silent. "… Is it happening already?"
Kaito could only guess what the detective meant by that.
"I'm fine, I'm fine..." The thief assured, trying his best not to sound too strained. The pain was bound to subside soon. "… False alarm."
"Come on Heiji, give da two some space!" Kazuha was back and she was clearly hungry for blood, with the way she started to yank her dark-skinned friend away from him. "Ya'll have plenty of time ta talk with Kudo-kun later on!"
"Hey, wait up! Let me go, ya moron—"
"And see? I told ya to warn them we were coming! Look where yer surprise visits got us—"
Toyama went on and on as she dragged Hattori towards the agency, leaving Ran and him behind.
Kuroba wasn't sure if he felt more relieved or more cornered by the fact.
"Consider it as thanks… For saving Conan-kun." Mouri eventually spoke up, urging him to follow her - which he reluctantly went along with. "But I still haven't forgiven you for deceiving me."
They both knew very well what she was talking about. The whole thing on-board Jirokichi's airship turned out to be… one hell of a crazy adventure, huh?
"Thanks." Kuroba really meant it. "And sorry about that… But you were about to sell me out to inspector Nakamori and I had to improvise."
"You were also trying to kiss me…" Now that made him tense up. Kaito could see the slight blush forming on Ran's cheeks as she said it, although her tone of voice was way more angry than embarrassed. It even boarded on sarcastic. "Was that part of the improvisation, too?"
"Ah…" He was so screwed. Kuroba silently thanked the heavens Conan wasn't hearing this. "… That's because you thought I was Shinichi."
Which… wasn't making the situation any better for him, granted. Ran needed to think he was some kind of pervert by now.
To his surprise, the brown-haired girl didn't accuse him of being one. Her demeanor changed completely, instead.
"… How do you know so much about Shinichi and me?" Mouri's voice was soft, almost sad. "Even the UFO thing… Did Shinichi tell you about that?"
Crap, she sounded like she was about to start crying any second, and Kaito did his best not to panic. He needed to do this right, otherwise Tantei-kun would kill him.
"He didn't tell me anything. It was supposed to be a secret between you two, right?" Kid forced a reassuring smile. "I just happened to overhear it… at a bad time."
"Then…"
"I've only met him once or twice." It wasn't the whole truth, but it wasn't entirely a lie, either. "I need to study people because of what I do, remember? This phantom thief deceives people in order to get what he wants, after all." For someone who should sound proud of it, he probably didn't give off that kind of impression. "That includes you, Mouri-san."
Kid looked at Ran with confidence and he could tell she was starting to get a little lost in regards to her own feelings all of a sudden.
"—Kudo?!"
Heiji's sudden, confused yell could have been probably heard from a hundred blocks away. Kaito had a very good idea what this meant and he honestly wished he had made a run for it beck when Hattori barely stumbled upon him.
Conan needed to finally read his message and come down from the agency to meet him. To his likely surprise, it was Heiji who he stumbled upon, instead of Kid.
Heiji, who was currently panicking from seeing two 'Kudos' at the same time and had no idea what was going on.
The moment Kuroba caught a glimpse of Tantei-kun's horrified expression upon noticing him with Ran, he wondered what would be worse: making a run for it now, or trying to fix this whole situation, somehow. The second option always had the possibility to backfire and make things even worse than they already were.
… Well, he wasn't called a phantom thief for nothing. It would either work, or they'd both go down trying.
"Ha! I sure got you there!" Kaito snickered, yelling at Heiji as he ran over to him and the 'kid.' He energetically hunched down next to the small boy and ruffled his hair with an amused grin. "The truth is, I'm actually this brat's cousin. I just came to see him."
Shinichi blinked in confusion before eventually settling for more of an unimpressed kind of look, his voice low. "Who are you calling a brat?"
Both Heiji and Kazuha just stared at them, dumbfounded. "… Cousin?"
Ran eventually joined their side, looking unsure. It was clearly Tantei-kun's cue to act.
"Kai-niichan came to visit, yay!" Conan suddenly chirped in the sweetest voice he could muster, flailing his arms in excitement.
Shinichi was lost. He was so lost.
Sitting inside of the Agency together with Heiji, Kazuha, Ran and a Kaito (who claimed that he was someone else) was one of the most awkward situations Conan's found himself being in since a while now. Everyone beside Kazuha (who actually bought this story) seemed to be tense.
"Wait… Ran-chan, didn't ya say that Shinichi called ya before coming here?" The Osakan girl suddenly asked as if realizing something in the story didn't add up, getting everyone's attention.
Mouri only gave her a nervous, but reassuring smile. "Ah… I must have mistaken something. It probably was just Kai-san pulling a prank. Right?"
Both Kuroba and Ran looked at each other somewhat awkwardly, with Kid nodding his head and assuring that was exactly the case. Needless to say, Conan was getting some very suspicious vibes from the whole thing.
She was… covering him?
Wait, so Ran knew he was Kid? Who were they trying to fool here about what again? Kazuha from finding out who he was? Because if Kaito wanted to keep Heiji from finding any of this suspicious, he was already fighting for a lost cause.
… But wait, Hattori couldn't have known that Ran knew that he was Kid. So Kuroba wanted to keep his identity secret from Heiji and Kazuha, while trying to keep Shinichi's identity secret from Ran and Kazuha?
… Poor Kazuha. Or actually, scratch that - poor all of them. How the hell did they get themselves into this mess again? He barely woke up and set a foot outside, he didn't sign up for any of this.
"So, yer Conan-kun's cousin, huh?" Heiji raised an eyebrow and gave Kaito the most skeptic look ever. Then he turned to Shinichi for some kind of confirmation on the matter.
"That's right." Kuroba nodded, finding confidence in what he was saying again. "From Fumiyo-san's side."
"Fumiyo?"
"Conan-kun's mother."
Kid was good. He's never even mentioned that name to him, and yet, he somehow knew about the whole setup his actual mother came up with, for his sake. The only people who officially heard about 'Fumiyo Edogawa' and saw her 'in person' were Ran and and her father.
It was Shinichi's cue to shift and whisper into Hattori's ear: "Just go along with it. I'll explain later."
"You know Conan-kun's mother?" Ran suddenly spoke up, sounding confused. It only made sense for her to be, though.
Kaito gave her a small smile. "Remember what I told you in front of the agency?"
Conan didn't know what they talked about before he came down, but… apparently that was enough for Ran to understand something. The next moment, she was the one leaning in to whisper into Kid's ear, instead.
"… If you're blackmailing Conan-kun with something, I'm not going to forgive you."
He was close enough to overhear that.
He didn't manage to catch what Kuroba's answer to that was, though.
"Well, while this has been a pleasure to meet you all, I'm afraid it's time for me."
'Kai' suddenly exclaimed, fixing the cap on his head before standing up.
"I was in the middle of something else in the neighborhood and only came to drop by to check up on Conan-kun and see how he was doing while I was around the street. I didn't intend to stay long." He paused, before adding: "Besides, I don't feel well in closed spaces. It's… a claustrophobia thing."
Shinichi easily got the reference. Ran probably did, as well.
"So if you'll excuse me… Till next time."
"I'm going to see Kai-niichan off!" The small detective exclaimed, standing up to run after the already disappearing thief through the door.
"Ah— me too!" Heiji was on his feet in no time, ready to follow them - but Shinichi stopped him by the door frame, once they were outside of the girls' vision.
"It's fine, Hattori. Stay here, I'll be right back."
His dark-skinned friend frowned, giving him a worried look. Thankfully, he listened and stayed behind, clearly deciding to take his word for it and trust him.
Hakuba woke up to two things being afoot.
First of all, Kuroba wasn't sleeping in his futon. Nor was he anywhere inside of the rest of the house, on further inspection.
Second of all, the wallpaper of Saguru's cell phone had been changed - somewhere during the time when he was asleep, he assumed. Instead of his usual, default background, it showed… Kaitou Kid blowing him a kiss with some cheesy hearts photoshopped into the side of the photo.
… Did that idiot dress up especially just to do this? Kuroba was seriously nuts.
Making sure one last time that nobody was on their tail, Conan followed Kid straight into a side alley.
Once the coast was clear, he started to clap for for the thief.
Very slowly.
"Yeah, tell me about it." Kaito didn't exactly sound too proud of himself, either. At least he understood the wrong he had done, otherwise he'd get a kick to his ass on the spot. "Remind me not to get anywhere near your agency without a disguise ever again."
It was the stupidest thing he could have done, true. Even if he was standing relatively far away from it, from what Conan saw. But he obviously didn't foresee Hattori or Ran walking that way during the short time he intended to stand there.
The great Kaitou Kid clearly pushed his luck a little too far this time.
"Next time, warn me before you get the stupid idea to show up here all on your own." Could anyone blame Shinichi for sounding irritated? "All of this brilliant sneaking mission fail aside, what the hell am I supposed to tell Hattori now?"
Kaito gave him an apologetic kind of look while trying to think about that. "What are the chances of him buying the whole 'cousin' thing?"
"Zero."
"Ugh…" That obviously made the magician grimace only more. "Well then… Tell him whatever you need to. The truth… if there's no other way around it."
The small detective blinked, a bit taken aback. "… Are you sure about that?"
"Tell him that Kid came to discuss something with you and end it at that," Kuroba went on. "He doesn't know my real name, nor where I live, and he doesn't know that you do know those things." There was a moment of hesitation. "… Does he?"
Shinichi looked at him like he were some kind of idiot for even doubting that. "Of course he doesn't."
Which made Kuroba grin at him. "So it should all work out, right?"
Conan could only stare at him before sighing in defeat. "We'll see about that. More importantly…"
Kaito's phone suddenly started ringing, interrupting their conversation.
"Crap." One look at it, and Kid's expression turned into one of panic. "Sorry, I need to get that."
"—Where the hell are you?"
Conan could easily hear the person from the other side of the line. It was undoubtedly Hakuba. And he didn't sound too happy. … Ha, ha.
"Oh, I went grocery shopping!" Kaito exclaimed in a cheerful voice, trying to sound convincing. "Since, you know, we were starting to run out of food…"
"I told you to leave that to me. You shouldn't be walking around, let alone straining yourself by carrying something heavy," came the instant scold. "Tell me where you are and I'll come give you a hand."
"Ah, well… that might be a bit tricky. You see…"
"… Where are you, really?"
Yeah… Hakuba wasn't stupid. And he apparently knew Kaito pretty well by now. Point for the detective.
"I just needed to get some fresh air, okay? I'll be back in an hour." Kuroba sighed, letting the whole pretense drop. "And stop worrying so much - I'm fine, and I will be fine."
With that, he closed his phone shut, in case any further complaints came.
"Wow. House arrest for the Kid." Shinichi laughed in his typical, unimpressed manner.
"That guy has some issues, I tell you."
"Well, I suppose he wouldn't be such a pain in the ass if he didn't care about you."
Kaito looked at the small detective, raising an eyebrow. "Are you saying that keeping people locked up in a cage is Hakuba's way of showing affection?"
"The bird needs to get better before it can fly again, right?"
"Heh. That's so cheesy, even coming from you." It still made the thief smile in amusement. "Well, since we're already on the topic of Hakuba… What's so scary that you wanted to keep it secret from him?"
Shinichi went silent at the question, his smile faltering. He still had his doubts about wanting to do this, but…
"You're good at information gathering, right? Would you… be able to break into someone's apartment for me?" Came the hesitant question. "Without leaving any traces behind?"
Kaito whistled. "Wow. This is getting deep." It was followed by a chuckle. "But that's actually nice. You obviously came to the right guy."
The small detective was both relieved that Kuroba seemed to accept his request so easily, but also somewhat worried. No matter how good he was with this kind of stuff, what he was asking of him was still dangerous.
"And you're right; Hakuba's so stuck up on the whole detective thing that he'd never even consider breaking the law for a higher purpose. I'm sure we'd never hear the end of it, if he knew." Kaito smiled at him. "Meanwhile, I think that having a flexible mind is a lot better - and way more practical. This is probably also why we get along so well. You don't have a problem with bending the rules a bit."
It… made somewhat sense, what Kid was saying. It made him remember the time when he's asked Hakase if he couldn't fake his passport just so that he could fly over to London with Ran and her father. It was true. If there was a possibility, and he could take it, as long as it didn't hurt anyone…
"I guess I stopped caring so much after… well, becoming like this." Shinichi gestured to himself. "I had to learn how to get by in all kinds of ways."
Kids weren't exactly allowed into crime scenes. It helped that he could use Kogoro's influence sometimes, but still, the beginnings were especially tricky, when nobody from the police force knew him.
"Definitely can't blame you there," Kaito seemed to follow his trail of thought. "So, who is this about? Someone from that 'Black Organization' you told us about?"
"No… Well, I hope not, at least." He had no actual proof regarding that yet. "There are actually three people I wanted to ask you to look into. Just one at a time. It's something we should be careful with."
"I'm all ears."
"Do you remember Sera Masumi?"
"… Who I thought was a guy? Would be kind of hard to forget a girl that literally kicked you in the face." Despite the seemingly traumatic experience, Kuroba sounded somewhat entertained by that memory. Well, he had only himself to blame for that, didn't he? "So she's my first target, huh?"
"I know where she lives, at least. I already tried leaving a bug there when we visited her with Ran and Sonoko, but… she immediately found it."
"Ouch. She needs to be sharp, then."
"I have a suspicion that she's not living alone, at that. So you'll need to be extra careful."
"Got it. I'll see what I can do."
"… Once you've recovered." Shinichi reminded him.
"Once I've recovered." Kaito repeated with a shrug, confirming that he wouldn't do anything stupid. "Speaking of that Sera girl… is the whole snooping around on her part normal?"
Shinichi blinked at the thief, not following. "… What do you mean?"
"I saw her hiding behind one of the buildings, the moment I got here. She's been taking photos around the agency."
That made the detective's eyes go wide. He wasn't aware of anything like that. So, wait… that time when he felt being followed, and Sera popped up, claiming she was taking photos of that couple behind Ran and him…
"Judging by your expression, I take it that's news for you," the thief concluded. "Besides that… is there something I should know about that blond guy that tried to kill your 'friend' back on the train?" Kaito asked in a serious tone, looking back in the agency's direction. Or, well, the cafe that was under it, more like it. It was no doubt that he's seen Amuro there, too.
"Yeah, that… remember how I told you I was confused about him?" Conan followed the magician's gaze with his own, trying to calm down. "At first, I thought he wanted to get close to Uncle for information and took up a part-time job at Poirot Cafe solely for that reason, but… he remained here after the whole thing with Haibara, even if he should technically have no reason to do so anymore. I have no idea what that guy's up to."
"… I see."
They stared at the cafe in silence for a short moment.
"Is he the second person who's place you wanted me to break into?"
Heh. Kaito really was good.
"What gave it away?"
Shinichi couldn't help but smirk, and was even more entertained when Kuroba returned the expression.
They parted ways shortly afterward, with Conan going back to Ran, Kazuha and Hattori. Oh boy, Hattori... He wasn't looking forward to explaining himself out of this whole situation in the least.
Kaito waved him goodbye, claiming that he'd get back home just fine on his own. Shinichi could only hope it didn't involve any hang gliders or anything else of the sort that would get the thief's life in danger in his current state.
"Is there something we should talk about?"
Those were the words that greeted Kid back at his house. Okay, so getting back might have taken him more than an hour. More than two, even. So, what? He was a free man in a free country. And Saguru wasn't his mother.
"About how you're trying to keep me on a leash?" Kuroba was anything but impressed.
"That's not what I was referring to."
Kaito blinked, instantly sobering up. Wait… Did Hakuba mean the whole thing he and Shinichi wanted to keep secret from him…? Did he somehow find out where he went just now?
"You know, if you keep pulling pranks like these, I might start getting the wrong idea. And then what?"
Wait, why did Saguru sound… somewhat entertained all of a sudden?
What was going on?
The detective just kept staring at him, eventually rising an eyebrow. "Honestly… Don't tell me you already forgot."
Was his confused expression enough of an answer? Kuroba was about to ask what the hell was his classmate talking about, when the unexpected happened.
A doorbell ring interrupted them once again.
"… I was being blackmailed."
That's what Tantei-kun said, standing in front of the entrance to his house.
Together with the bloody Detective from the West, Hattori Heiji.
Kaito's eyebrow twitched. Repeatedly.
"So, they shot ya, huh? Kudo told me ya saved his life back there." The dark-skinned detective spoke up, sounding all cheerful, as if oblivious to anyone's mood around him. "I suppose I can forgive ya for all the mischief ya caused us back in da day," he went on. "And ya did help us with an investigation once, didn't ya? Dressed up as this fella here. Long time, no see, by the way, Hakuba."
Kid looked around, only to see Hattori pointing to Saguru, who was standing behind him. Cold sweat ran down his spine.
"… Excuse me?"
"—What a lovely weather we have today, don't you think?" Kaito practically yelled the words out, as if that could distract everyone from the topic at hand. "Doesn't it just make you want to—"
"Kuroba." Saguru spoke his name in a firm tone, evidently wanting him to shut up. "When was this?"
"You guys suck!" The thief was instantly on the verge of tearing strands of hair out of his head. "And you!" He rudely pointed at Heiji. "You're the last person in on this merry-go-round! I swear, if you bring one more detective to me, I'm going to rob your houses and sell everything I find in them on ebay!" There was a lengthy pause, before he added: "Better yet - I will dress up as every single one of you and go confess to the girls you like that you're gay!"
Silence fell between them, and with how terrified Conan and Heiji suddenly looked, they seemed to take that threat to heart, at least. As for the one person behind him, however…
"I'd really like to see you do that." His classmate was hardly impressed. He should have seen it coming.
"Oh, right. Besides Hakuba." Kaito murmured. "I forgot that the only person he likes is himself."
The smile Saguru gave him, looking all proud of himself, was even more unnerving. "Thought so. You have nothing on me."
"I could always dress up as you and confess in front of the mirror! And film every second of it, of course! Then upload it on the internet for everyone to see!" Kuroba crossed his hand in front of his chest with a huff. "Never underestimate me."
That made the detective sigh. "… You really have no shame whatsoever."
Even though he sounded more tired than defeated, it was still victory for Kid. Right? Right.
… It made Kaito wonder, though. Was there actually anyone Hakuba liked? He's seen him blush in Akako's presence, but that girl was bewitching just about anyone. She had that kind of effect on others - her red magic was involved, he was positive - whether they were really interested in her or not.
"Either way, now it's yer time to watch out, Hakuba." Heiji grinned at the half-British detective, looking all cocky. "Since out of the four of us, yer the only one who hasn't been shot in the belly yet. Yer the only one missing out!"
Kuroba snorted.
If looks could kill, Hattori would be dead from the stare Saguru was giving him, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Hilarious, Hattori-kun. Hilarious."
"You guys know each other." Kaito came to the obvious conclusion upon hearing them talk. And the most fun part of it all was that Heiji clearly liked to tease the London detective, too.
"Remember about the Detective Koushien I told you about a while back?" Hakuba asked, answering his unspoken question.
"Oh, right! I forgot about that." Kuroba recalled the story, fitting some pieces together. "Tantei-kun was also there with you, right?"
"I was." Conan nodded, before adding, somewhat amused with the whole thing himself: "Hattori does have a point, though. All three of us have been shot in more or less the same spot..."
"If that's something that makes you happy… Enjoy your bonding experience, then." Clearly, Hakuba had no interest in taking any part in it. He just shook his shoulders and started to retreat back inside of the house, as if he owned the place.
"Well, since you're already here… come in for some tea. Or coffee."
Kaito probably didn't sound very inviting, but given the circumstances, could anyone blame him? He was suddenly up against not two, but threedetectives. At once. In his own house. Life just wasn't fair.
"Oh, by the way… sorry for earlier. With da elbowing thing." Hattori spoke to him, trying to keep his voice down. "Dat probably hurt. Kazuha did da same to me when I was shot, so I know from experience."
Kuroba blinked, surprised that Hattori remembered. Well, he might have been the most hot-headed out of the three, but he was still a detective and payed attention to the little things, huh? "… Just don't mention it in front of Hakuba and we'll be cool."
Heiji smiled, giving him a thumbs-up. "Got it, Kai-chan."
"It's Kuroba," Kid corrected, somewhat amused by that nickname. "Kuroba Kaito. Just 'Kuroba' is fine."
"Just call me 'Hattori,' too, then," the dark-haired teen insisted.
"A pleasure meeting you, Hattori." The thief figured there was no need to be rude anymore and just went along with his usual game. "As long as you don't sell me out to the police, that is."
"Hey, Kudo trusts ya." He pointed to the 'kid' behind him with his thumb. "And friends of his are friends of mine."
"Does he now~?" Kaito asked in a teasing way, looking over at the small detective. Was that a faint blush forming on Shinichi's cheeks? Now he couldn't help but wonder what did Tantei-kun tell his dark-skinned friend about him, exactly.
"Isn't Hattori going to get a flower from you, too?" Conan suddenly asked in a low voice, clearly wanting to change the topic.
Kuroba couldn't help but smirk at that, too amused. "I only give those to girls. And children." But following Shinichi's trail of thought, Kaito went ahead and made another rose appear in the palm of his hand - a blue one, this time. "But since you're asking so nicely, you can get another one, instead."
Tantei-kun started at him, his eyebrow twitching in irritation. "… I'm going to kick you."
Heiji laughed at them. Kid moved away from the apparent danger zone, eventually inviting the two detectives inside and urging them to follow him into the kitchen upstairs. He was glad to see Hakuba was already almost done with preparing coffee for them.
"… Is your name seriously 'Kaito,' though?" Hattori asked, curious.
"Yeah, well… My parents had a pretty messed up sense of humor, as you can see." The thief shrugged. He's wondered himself, sometimes, if anybody would ever make the connection. "Although I guess that's still nothing compared to what his mother tends to pull off sometimes."
Shinichi gave him a skeptic look, obviously wondering just how did he know about any of the things he shouldn't be knowing of.
"Ya know Kudo's ma?" Heiji made himself at home and took a seat by the table. Soon enough, Conan followed in his tracks.
"I met her when I was around seven years old, actually." Which he still found funny.
"Wait… does that mean ya really are Kudo's cousin?"
Given the circumstances… Kid couldn't really blame him for asking this for real. "No."
"Ya guys really look alike, though."
"Do they, really?" Hakuba interrupted, setting mugs full of coffee in front of them. He's never seen Shinichi in person before, so it was only normal for him to be intrigued by the fact, Kuroba supposed.
Kaito turned to look at Hattori, his expression becoming grave serious.
"His mother had an affair with my dad."
Conan chocked on his coffee, suddenly coughing for his dear life.
The other two detectives were just left dumbfounded.
"Will you stop saying such nonsense—!"
With how upset Shinichi sounded, Kuroba couldn't help but laugh, his poker face flying out the window. Provoking the small detective was just too amusing sometimes.
"Never gets old, never gets old~"
"That's it— I'm kicking you for real!"
Well, Saguru and Kaito clearly weren't the only ones who could play cat and mouse around the kitchen.
It might have been three detectives against one phantom thief now, but there was bound to be enough mischief for everyone. Kid was set on making sure of that.
—t.b.c.
Nayru's Note: I suppose this concludes the 'intro' to my story, if one could call it that. Hope you enjoyed! c:
Also… some implications of an actual 'pairing' or two might appear in the next chapter. Maybe. I'm still trying to decide whether that will go anywhere more serious or just be something to laugh at. We shall see.
PS. I set up a 'buy me a cup of coffee' button on my profile page, if anyone felt inclined to do that for me. I just came to the realization that if I could dedicate all of my time to writing stuff (both for myself and for you guys) instead of getting an actual job (which I really need to do), I would. Well, one can dream. x'D Cheers, guys!
PS.2 Hosio made another doodle with Conan and Heiji for us this time, but she has yet to scan it. I'll add the link to the pic to my profile page once I finally get it! Believe me, it's adorable. c: