A whole new chapter, with altering elements. How does Meredith react about the break up, and will Vanessa be able to help Meredith after the break up? And is it possible that something could change Derek?

Enjoy,

TempeGeller(Ellen)

5. Love hurts

Writers are talking about that one moment.

When everything is clear, where to go or who to love.

In life there's also a moment like that.

It usually involves what to wear in the morning.

On other parts we're completely clueless.

Hey, can you blame us?

Writers, they call it character development.

Gods bringing their terrible storylines, upon those innocent characters.

Maybe that's what life is about. A writer, lost his way.

I'm the head in a number 1 tragedy. Need I say more.

"Meredith." Vanessa walked towards her. "What's going on? I haven't seen you like this, since the summer of 1989, when .. What happened with McDreamy?"

"He's McAshole." Meredith replied "He dumped me. No, let me rephrase that: he picked his wife over me. You know the wife that cheated him. He picked her. Just like that. I thought he would pick me, after the love thing. I thought. I mean, when someone says I love you. I means something right?"

"Yes." Vanessa replied "He dumped you? I'm so sorry, Mer. It's his loss. I mean you are great, and if I need to kick his ass, I'll do so. I'm so sorry, Meredith."

"I know." Meredith cried "I feel like my heart is breaking, you know I need tequila."

"No, Meredith." Vanessa stepped in front of her. "Tequila is not going to solve this. Going home and watching an affair to remember will."

"Affair." Meredith cried. "Can we at least watch a slasher movie, where they kill lots of people. I don't feel like anything romantic. "

"Okay." Vanessa slowly hugged her. "Let's go."

"I can't believe that he did that." Vanessa replied "You are better off without Dr. McDreamy anyway. I mean what was he thinking, taking McBitch back."

"He was thinking, that she was better." Meredith replied "Why would he take me back, when he has her."

"Let's just face it." Vanessa replied "He couldn't handle how great you were, so he went back to his stupid wife. And you will get another boyfriend in no time. I mean there are plenty more fish in the sea, and some are even better then Derek. I mean, all of them. How about Alex?"

"Alex, even if he were the last man on earth." Meredith lifted an eyebrow. "No, he's a great friend. And him and Izzie are sort of a thing."

"Mer, things are going to be fine." Vanessa stared at her. "We both know that. We are all going to find happiness. Somehow, somewhere. I mean we're going to end up happy. Trust me."

"I just think we're going to end up dead." Meredith replied "Maybe that's the only thing that's good about life. That there's an end."

"Meredith, please, don't be down. I know how hard this is on you." Vanessa replied "I lost someone I love to. I know what it's like."

"No, you don't." Meredith replied "I mean not exactly. Derek chose someone else, he threw me out like some left over turkey. Henry died, that's the difference."

"Yeah, because the difference is, that you can stand up. You can go to work. You can win him back. While Henry he's never coming back." Vanessa replied "That's the difference."

"Nes, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that." Meredith replied "I'm moody and other stuff. I just keep saying things, I don't think about. I can't get Derek back. I didn't mean to compare that to Henry. I'm so sorry."

"It's.." Vanessa stared at her. "You know, I know you are dealing. I know, but maybe all of us have something Mer. Maybe you need to think about that little thing."

"No Derek talk anymore." Meredith replied "I'm going to forget him, and find another great guy. Handsome, not married and cute."

"You've got one in your house." Vanessa replied "Or is George not your type?"

"I thought you were in to George?" Meredith stared at her. "You can't keep grieving, some day you'll have to get back in the game."

"Let's just not talk about that." Vanessa replied "Let's just not talk about boys."

"No boy talk." Meredith smiled at her. "Just sisters, and what the heck are we going to do with our mother?"

"I think we're going to be fine." Vanessa replied "As for mum, we dump her with the chief. I mean they seem to get along in every single way of the word."

"Why would he have dumped her?" Meredith stared at her. "I mean you are their lovechild. Why would someone let go of the love of their life, and their beautiful love child."

"Maybe he was a man of honor." Vanessa replied "Or our mother was a liar, a cheat. Maybe she kept the story for herself. Maybe she took the baby away from her father."

"I couldn't imagine anyone doing a thing like that. I mean the dad disserves time with his baby." Meredith replied "I would never do a thing like that."

The morning was coming to soon, maybe even for all people. A brand new day that should bring difference, started with the same heartache. A pain that Meredith couldn't get rid off, she didn't chose her. He chose Addison. It started to be clear right now. She lost the love of her life, or the person that could be that. She lost it, and managed to bring her sister's dead husband in the equation. And she learned that her sisters hear was still more broken then hers. Only her broken hear was fresh, ready to heal. Vanessa's was kept in her chest, closed off from any way to heal it. It was like she was unwilling to even go on a date. To fall back in love. Meredith felt that her sisters broken heart could not be healed like hers. Still it was hard for her, to wake up with Derek gone. To wake up, knowing that her life was going no where. And that she was end up all alone, just like her mother.

"Good morning." Derek Shepherd stepped in the elevator next to Vanessa and Meredith. "How are you?" Those words would have been quiet normal, but Meredith didn't feel like talking to him. She didn't feel like seeing her ex boyfriend. She slipped out of the elevator the very first chance she had.

"I thought it wasn't going to be this weird." Derek replied "So.."

"Not going to be this weird." Vanessa pushed the button to stop the elevator. "Not going to be weird, you broke her heart. You actually broke her heart, you dumped her. You did that on a cruel way, you chose your wife that cheated on you. You didn't tell her you were married. She has the right to be weird. You on the other hand are the jack ass that broke my sisters heart, and if we were not in the hospital. I would smack you in the face."

"I am your boss don't forget that." Derek stared at her.

"Oh, that's right." Vanessa slowly stared at her. "But you are also the man that broke my sisters heart in a million pieces. You broke her, Derek. You told that you wouldn't and you did. Is she worth it? How do you know that she's not going to cheat on you again? Meredith loves you, she loves you. And somewhere deep inside, you love her to. You're just to stupid to pick her."

"I've been married to Addison 10 years." Derek replied "I can't throw away a relationship like that."

"You know what." Vanessa replied "I told Meredith you were a good guy. Time and time again, I told her that you would do the right thing. And that you were not going to break her heart. And what do you do: you break hers. Derek, why would you do that? I just know that you are not the good guy, I always believed you were."

The elevator door opened up, slowly she walked out of it. Knowing that things were going to change. It was her 2nd day at the hospital. And she was feeling like she was invading the place. She didn't belong there, everyone stared at her. Nobody really wanted to talk to her, Meredith's friends off course. She was okay with that, she wanted her own friend off course, but those friends of hers were still the same. Nothing would change that. She had an Izzie, somewhere in another hospital. She had that. The only reason she loved being here, was because of Meredith. Being closer to her sister.

"Vanessa." Addison stood in front of her. "I hope this situation is not going to put anything awkward between us. I mean, I wouldn't want this to effect our working together."

"Addison, like I said." Vanessa replied "I'm a professional. I admire you as a doctor, but don't ask me to go have drinks with you after work. Let put it this way, I hate your guts Addison. I hate you more then anything. If you were not such a great doctor, I would never face you. You can't blame me. Meredith's my sister, and her heart has been broken. I'm on her side."

"Off course." Addison replied "The truth is, if someone did this to my brother. I mean if this happened to my brother, I would hate my guts to. I understand."

"Maybe that's the problem." Vanessa stared at her. "You are to nice to hate."

"That's a good thing." Addison replied "I mean that you don't hate me I guess. Cause you are a very talented resident. Very much like your mother, I've heard. And you are about to go in your 4th year residency. You remind me in lots of way. I'm not talking about the cheating part off course. I'm sure you can keep your husband/boyfriend."

"I don't have a boyfriend." Vanessa replied "But I think our personal chat should stop here, before either one of us says something they are going to regret. "

"Good, I was about to tell you that…" Addison lifted her head a bit. "That's right, I'm not going to tell you that story. I think we should head for surgery. You are going to scrub in."

"Meredith" Cristina stared at Meredith while she left the bathroom. "What the hell is going on? You are almost never sick. And now you are."

"I had some grilled cheese for breakfast." Meredith replied "It most have gone bad. You know me, I'm not really a health freak. I stink at health."

"Meredith, you don't need to put this to the cheese." Cristina replied "You're just hang over from the other night. You probably drank all the tequila at Joe's."

"I don't do that anymore." Meredith replied "I really had the cheese, and now I'm sick. So.."

"Maybe you're pregnant." Cristina replied with a smile. She saw the struggle in Meredith's eyes, like she was trying to figure it out. "I was joking Mer, how could you be pregnant? You and Derek were practically a condom add, I mean that's what you told me."

"Right." Meredith replied "So how is your.."

"Don't say it." Cristina replied "I'm still, I've got a appointment in 2 weeks. You can't tell anyone. I mean if you were in my place you would do the same right. I mean we are in internship."

"No." Meredith shook her head. "I would not, I would have the baby. I would if it were Derek's. I would, because it is possible to have a baby and do residency. My sister did it. "

"She had a husband." Cristina replied

"Henry was not really around much." Meredith replied "He was a soldier. He was abroad more then anything. He was fighting wars, leading them. I'm not sure. He was home, every 3 months for a month. It killed my sister. Then he asked her to move to a military base. She said no, she wouldn't do that. She wouldn't go to war. She didn't. He never came home after that, they called saying that he was shot. And then, she was alone. All alone."

"I'm sorry Mer." Cristina stared at her. "I know how hard life is, but you need to move on."

"Derek chose Addison." Meredith replied "We're over. He just told me yesterday. He chose her, can you believe that?"

"I'm sleeping with Burke." Cristina replied "And he dumped me. I guess we're the same you and me."

"I guess." Meredith slowly rested her head on her shoulder. "Do you think we need a third musketeer?"

"Meredith." Vanessa slowly walked toward her. She stared at Meredith. "What's up? You look like you've just seen a ghost. I mean you look so pale. I know you and.."

"I've been sick all morning." Meredith replied "I'm pretty much trying to make my way trough my round, without Bailey noticing it. But if she notices, what am I going to do?"

"You're sick?" Vanessa slowly put her hand on Meredith's forehead. "I think you have a fever or something. Mer you shouldn't be working sick, you know that right."

"I'm an intern, bottom of the surgery whatever." Meredith sat down. "I can't get sick. And I don't think it's the flue. I think it's another bug I caught."

"Another bug." Vanessa slowly stared at her. "You don't have food poisoning right?'

"More like a 9 month bug. Meredith slowly stared at her. "So I did some thing, I haven't had my period in a 6 weeks. Which means I'm 2 weeks late."

"So you think Derek knocked you up, and that McBaby is your uteris, and that you are carrying Derek's baby with perfect hair." Vanessa replied "I don't see the bad news in this. You find out if you're pregnant, and we hit back. We're going to use this baby to get McDreamy back. I mean he can't let his baby alone right."

"Nes, I don't want him to come back like that." Meredith replied "If he comes back, I want it to be love. Not because I could be pregnant with his adulteress love child. You get that right?"

"I get it." Vanessa replied "The only question is why would you do that? I mean why would you keep something like that from the father?"

"Maybe now I'm staring to understand why mum did what she did." Meredith replied "Maybe she was in the same situation as me. Maybe.."

"stop comparing yourself to mum." Vanessa replied "You are not my, nor will you ever be. You are different. I told you that about a 1000 times. So please could you believe me. And we need to find out if you're pregnant right now. If you are, we'll deal with it. Together. I mean we're sisters right."

"Do you want to move in?" Meredith asked "I don't know if I can do this by myself. I need you."

"Off course." Vanessa replied "Off course I'll move in with you."

"Meredith." Vanessa slowly stared at her. "Things are going to be okay, I promise that."

"You know what happened the last time you said that." Meredith smiled "Or the last time I said that."

"I don't think we're suppose to say anything like that." Vanessa smiled at Meredith. "We're in this together. You helped me trough a hard time. I'm going to do the same."

"So, Mere we need to be sure about the you know what." Vanessa stared at her. "I'm going to take some blood, meet me in a examination room in your break."

"I'll be there." Meredith stared at her. "What am I going to do?"

"Meredith, please calm down." Vanessa replied "We'll make it trough, I know everything about babies. And you are born to raise children."

"You're obviously thinking about some other Meredith." Meredith replied

"You did a great job raising me."'

"But you didn't have great hair like Derek." Meredith smiled "I think I can't handle buying all kinds of things like hair gels. And keeping the baby a secret for Derek."

"Let's just not talk.." Vanessa replied "we'll meet on your break, then we'll know. And we'll figure things out. Together. Does Cristina know?"

"NO." Meredith replied "Well, maybe, sort off. It came up, we laughed. And somehow I didn't tell her I was afraid about the big B."

"Dr. Grey." Alex Karev stepped next to her. "You're looking good."

"No." She turned around walking away from him. Slowly Alex Karev followed her. He stared at her, and stood next to her in the elevator.

"No, I didn't even ask something." Alex laughed "Unless you can read my mind."

The elevator slowly opened "I say no to you asking me out, Dr. Karev."

"Hey." Alex stepped behind her. "What's wrong with you, I'm handsome. And you would like me, why are you dumping me for a date, while you give Bambie a whole explanation."

"I don't.." Vanessa turned around. "You're not my type."

"I'm a man." Alex stared in her blue eyes. "You're a woman, much more we don't need. I think we should get together."

"No, thank you." Vanessa walked away, letting him stand there by himself.

"That was a weird thing." Izzie reacted who was standing there, watching the tow of them. "I thought you said she would be in to you. That you had a bigger shot then George. You can't get Meredith, and now you fail putting the moves on her sister. You're such a loser."

"Is this still about Olivia?" Alex turned around. "I've moved on from you."

"Oh, and you're not moving on with her." Izzie reacted "See it, she's to sophisticated for you. And you're crying your eyes out, because she won't sleep with you. Booh-hooh!"

"Shut up, Iz!" Alex turned around.

"you lost your touch." Izzie laughed

"Okay, Mer." Vanessa took the needle. "This is going to sting a little bit, and I'm not sure why I'm telling you this. I guess…"

"Yeah, yeah, get it over with." Meredith replied "I hate needles."

"You're a doctor and you hate needles?" Vanessa stared at Meredith's mad eyes. She slowly took the needle, slowly putting it in one of her veins. "I'm bringing them down to the lab under Jane Doe. I hope to get the results as soon as possible. In the main time, take it easy Mer."

"Why do I need…" Meredith turned around. "Because of the baby, why don't we do a ultra sound."

"Meredith, we're doing this that way." Vanessa replied "You want to keep this on the down low, and doing an ultra sound does not exactly scream down low. We would have to get a machine. This is only two seconds pain, and we know it with in 3 hours. Later we'll do an ultra sound. I promise."

"You will right?" Meredith stared at her. "Please by my OBGYN."

"You're asking a 3rd year resident over Addison." Vanessa turned around. "I mean wouldn't it be better to have Addison as your OBGYN, it seems smarter."

"And you're the one I trust." Meredith replied "I trust you with my life, and I don't want Addison to know that I'm pregnant with her husband's baby, can you see the rumors."

"Meredith, there are going to be rumors." Vanessa turned around. "If you are pregnant, you're going to get big. You can't deny that, it's not like you can hide it behind your books, or under your scrubs. People are going to notice, McDreamy is going to notice. You can't keep this a little secret. I just think that you need to do what's the best for your baby. And Addison is the best for your baby right now."

"You have delivered how many baby's?" Meredith stared at her. "How many babies by yourself?"

"Okay, a lot." Vanessa replied "But you're my sister, I don't want my judgment to be clouded. I don't want anything to happen to you, if I make a mistake."

"You can do this." Meredith stared at her. "If anything is okay with the baby, you can do this. I promise that I'll go to Addison if anything is above your level of expertise. I just don't want her to know."

"Meredith, someday you'll have to tell." Vanessa replied putting the blood in a plastic bag. "I mean that is, if you're pregnant. I mean you could still be not pregnant."

"Trust me." Meredith stood up. "I am, I am that lucky."

"So Meredith, where were you?" Cristina stood next to her. "I've been looking all over for you, to talk to you about things. I need someone to drive me home, after the surgery. And I would like you to.."

"Cristina, I have a shift that night." Meredith turned around. "But I can let my sister pick you up, and let you crash at my house. We'll talk when I get home."

"Your sister?" Cristina rolled her eyes. "Seriously. I understand that you can't make it, but your sister?"

"I can always ask Izzie." Meredith smiled "I think my sister's a lot more private, and she doesn't speak while driving. I'm just saying. She is not going to ask you, what is going on."

"Your sister is just fine then." Cristina reacted "I don't get it, a couple of months ago, I didn't know you had a sister. And now she's everywhere I look. Meredith's sister her, Meredith's sister there."

"Vanessa is her name." Meredith reacted "You know what, I'll try to change shifts so I can be there for you. I'll ask Izzie or George. Maybe even Alex, I'll do my best, as long as you don't get mad, when I'm not there."

"Okay." Cristina turned around. "'And I saw McDreamy and McBitch talking about the crappy McSex."

"They were talking about sex in public?" Meredith rolled her eyes. "I don't.."

"he said something about.." Cristina laughed "Trust me, you don't want me to say. At least she looked like she got some, but it didn't look like that some was that great. If you know what I mean."

"They had bad McSex." Meredith stared at Cristina. "Yeah, sounds what I wanted to hear anyway."

"I'm just trying to get you in a better mood." Cristina replied "You look like you're waiting for some kind off life altering tests. What's going on with you Meredith?"

"Cristina, I.." Meredith paused "I.."

Cristina's pager stared to page. A short moment, Meredith wanted to tell Cristina about what was happening in her life right now. But she had to go, go away. To where ever the page was calling her.

"We'll talk later." She said before turning around.

"Right." Meredith sat down, placing her hand to her head. "Oh."

"Meredith, what's going on?" Izzie stepped next to her. "You should tell your sister that I love her pasta. And that we need to exchange cookie recipes"

"I'll tell her." Meredith stared at her. "What if I tell you that she's moving in with us?"

"She is." Izzie stared at her. "That's totally awesome. She can actually cook, I'm going to eat healthy. And with Derek the health freak he'll be happy."

"Actually, Derek is taking his wife back." Meredith busted up in tears saying it. "He's.. We're kind of over, I don't think you'll ever see him at our home again."

"You and McDreamy are over?" Izzie stared at her. "Meredith, things are going to be okay, I'll help you find another guy that's twice as handsome and less concerned about what's on his head."

"His hear was perfect." Meredith turned away. "No more McDreamy dream things. It's over."

"Mer, I'm so sorry." Izzie stared at her. "You know that you can talk to me right?"

"Yeah, Iz." Meredith stared at her. "I know that I always can talk to you. You don't have to tell me that, I know. But thanks."

Meredith hugged Izzie, she was one of her best friends. Not like Cristina, different. Izzie was the one that was always smiling. She was looking at life from the bright sight. She had a great love life, she had everything so figured out. Never afraid to try. Meredith wished she was more like that. Izzie really was there to support her, and she couldn't ever do that back to her. She stared at the surroundings of the hospital. Vanessa was standing close to them, holding some charts in her hands. She had a look in her eyes, Meredith knew every look Vanessa had. She couldn't figure this one out. If it were bad or good. If it was something else.

"Meredith." Vanessa slowly walked to them. "I need to talk to you right now."

"What's this about?" Izzie turned around. "I'm sure you can tell me, we're friends."

"Meredith, I need to talk to you in private." she stared at the rest of them. "You can take Izzie, if you're comfortable about her knowing. I don't think you want the rest to know."

"Izzie, I'll talk to you later okay." Meredith turned around. "You'll hear about this, I promise."

"Okay, Mer." Izzie stared at her. "But if it's really bad, just page me. I'll be there in four seconds, and I'll be there. With Cristina, obvious George and everyone that loves you here. Don't let us in the dark."

"I'll tell you." Meredith replied "But I need to be alone to hear this. It's not bad Izzie, trust me. This thing doesn't count as bad. Life altering yes.'

Vanessa and Meredith slowly followed each other to another empty examination room. Vanessa's eyes were staring in to Meredith's.

"Just tell me, I can handle it."

"Okay, You have a high concentration of choriongonadotropine in your blood work." Vanessa replied "The amount subject you're 2 months and a half along. Meredith, you're pregnant."

"I'm pregnant." Meredith slowly stared at the papers. "I was thinking about it, but I believed it would be false alarm. I actually didn't buy that I could be pregnant. I can't do this."

"You have options you know." Vanessa slowly turned around. "You could keep the baby, adoption or.."

"I couldn't get rid of the baby either way." Meredith replied "I love Derek, and if this is the only thing I have to remember him by. I just don't know if I can do this. Have a baby."

"You can." Vanessa replied "I'll be here every singe step of the way. Izzie will be there, George, maybe even Alex. And if you told Derek, he would not leave your side. I know.."

"You can't tell Derek." Meredith stared at her. "Promise me, you won't tell. Promise me. Even when you're so mad with him. And stuff. You need to promise me that."

"I promise." Vanessa turned around. "But that doesn't mean I'll like it. I'll hate it, as a matter effect. But I'll be nice, but I'm deficiently moving in with you. You need to eat healthy, don't forget vitamins."

"Just remember one thing." Meredith smiled "I'm still your big sister. And I'm going to keep setting up you and George, until you are getting married. I just hoped I won't be fat when that happens."

"Do you want an ultra sound now?" Vanessa slowly moved a machine closer. "I mean I could take a quick look if the baby's okay. Good."

"Sure." Meredith lay down. "And again, I know the drill. You don't have to say that the gel is cold. Because I know."

Meredith slowly exposed her belly. There was nothing out of the ordinary, it was just a little bit swollen. Meredith noticed the difference, but that was only because she know what to look for. Vanessa slowly poured a little of the gel on Meredith's belly.

"God, that's really cold." Meredith cursed

"You told me not to tell you that the gel would be cold. You can't tell me that I didn't tell you so." Vanessa smiled "And it's not the worst you're in for."

"Okay, okay." Meredith reacted "I just never knew it was that cold."

"Okay," Vanessa slowly turned around turning on the screen. "Meredith this is your uterus, that's the amniotic sac. And that's your fetus. Wait a minute?"

Vanessa slowly turned around staring at the scream. She stared at it, slowly turning on the sound. She heard two separate heartbeats. Fast, around 100 times a minute. Meredith's eyes were on the same screen.

"That's fetus A, and Fetus B." Vanessa turned around. "Two babies. I think I can even see McDreamy's hair. See, the big dark spot. That's the hair."

"Don't joke." Meredith smiled "Oh my god, twins. I was doubting about one baby. But two, two little Grey's with Derek's hair. I can't do that."

"Meredith, you're going to doubt yourself." Vanessa replied "But you know what you told me, when I was pregnant. That I could do anything I put my mind to, that I would be a terrific mum. And you Meredith, I'm not going to say it's easy. It's not. Lot's of times, I wanted to quit. Stop. But it's the small things that pay off, you're child saying its first word. Those things count more then anything else. Meredith, that will mean anything."

"What about my internship?" Meredith stared at her. "I'll have to drop out of the program."

"No." Vanessa slowly shook her head. "I could always ask that you would be transferred to my service as my intern. I only have one, and I could keep everything easy. And you'll go on maternity leave. You'll take your intern test in 2 weeks, you'll pass. And you'll be a resident. Then I'll help you take care of your interns. I'll help you, if you don't tell Derek."

"I can't tell him." Meredith replied "He made a choice, he wants a shot to try with Addison. I can't barge in their marriage with my McTwins asking McDreamy to take his McA and McB and be a McDaddy. I just whished he was here with me. I mean.."

"I know." Vanessa replied "I know what you want, but we have to take it easy. Okay, Meredith, I'm giving you the week off. I'm your doctor and I need you to take rest for a week. Only a week."

"Okay." Meredith replied "I mean I don't think I can say no."

"No"

"Vanessa." Derek Shepherd got in the elevator next to her. "Where's Meredith? I've been missing her on the job. I mean.."

"That's none of your business." Vanessa replied "And if were up to me, I would ban you to an island. And you know which island I am talking about."

"Vanessa Grey, I want to know how Meredith is." Derek replied "I could always ask Dr. Stevens or Dr. O'Malley and they'll answer me right away. And you know it."

"Okay, here it is." Vanessa turned around. "Izzie, George and Cristina are not telling you how Meredith is. Because Meredith does not want you to know. If you would excuse me, Dr. Shepherd."

"Please, I need to know." Derek stared in her eyes, with those dreamy eyes no one could resist. She was standing outside the elevator, Derek was holding open the doors.

"You want to know how she's doing?" Vanessa stared at him. "You really want to know. She's doing bad, you broke her. She hardly eats, she hardly sleeps, she's a mess. Is that what you wanted to know."

Derek heard the words, the elevator doors closed, he kept staring in front o him. 'She's not eating, she hardly sleep, she's a mess'. He kept hearing Vanessa Grey's voice. 'You broke her'. Derek couldn't hardly keep it. He didn't want Meredith to be a mess, he didn't want her to move on. But he had to try things with Addison. It was his task. But the voice of the Meredith's younger sister was yelling in his mind. 'my mistake', Meredith. Derek slowly hang against the elevator wall.

"Damn!" he hit the other side. In an anger. "God damn it!"

He was so mad, so mad with himself. He loves Meredith, he broke her heart. Shook her world around, all that to a woman that saved him. Meredith showed him that the world was good, and what did he do to repay her? He stabbed her in the back, he broke her heart. He destroyed her very being. He left her. He was in Seattle for 3 months, and he destroyed the only woman that never cheated on him. That never deceived him. The only woman that he didn't feel any obligation to. He wasn't married to her, he didn't feel the pressure to make anything work. He chose Addison, because it was the right thing. He didn't chose her because it felt like the right thing to do. He once again slammed against the door, it slowly opened up.

"You look bad Shepherd." Preston Burke stepped in the elevator.

"I broke Meredith's heart." Derek turned around. "I broke her heart."

"You know what you should have thought about." Burke stared at him. "Don't sleep with interns, it never gets you anywhere good. I mean if you hadn't slept with Meredith to being with, you would never broke her heart. And you would never be in this situation. Me, I wouldn't get here. "

"You're chief ad-interim." Derek replied "You shouldn't get here, apparently Richard trusted you more then me. With his obligation as being the chief."

"Who wouldn't?" He stepped out of the elevator. "I mean what you got? Great hair?"

"Where are you?" Izzie stared at Vanessa

"I'm at the pit." Vanessa replied "I mean seems like some nice trauma is going to make it in today. And I'm going to get there first."

"Not if I'm faster." Izzie smiled "Let's just say we'll share good cases, I mean Meredith's gone. Sick at home, which I'm by the way not telling McDreamy. I don't get it, you gave her a whole week of abstinence. Why would you do that?"

"She's sick." Vanessa replied "She needs rest. I wanted to give her a moth, but she denied. So I gave her a week. I got it past Bailey, that makes me a rock star."

"You got it past Bailey?" Izzie smiled "How did you do that?"

"Oh, I gave it to the chief." Vanessa replied "Or the chief ad-interim. Apparently Richard is taking some time of to spend with mum, he's taking her case on him. And the hospital is less important all of the sudden."

"That's so romantic." Izzie smiled "I mean if he weren't married, and she had no Alzheimer's. And they were actually a couple. I mean.. I'll just shut up."

"I'm not in the mood for romance." Vanessa replied "In my mind it always gets back and bites you in the ass, whether you like it or not."