When I'm Awake

No fire weather then.

The sound that filled the room was wet as it got and had been going on since the sunset. Ruffnut turned her eyes to the small window and tried to see outside, without much luck. The torches died earlier in the night and they were still hours away from the sunrise. She doubted it would be seen through the thick storm clouds anyway.

She didn't mind the rain; she was used to it like any other Berkian. Even if it proved to be less than ideal flying conditions, getting soaked to the bone reminded her of the days where she and Tuff got into trouble for running outside during thunderstorm and see if they could spot Thor through the clouds. After nearly getting struck by lightning three times, their mother had found the solution in tying them to their beds so they wouldn't sneak out. Needless to say, it wasn't the best solution.

Now a good decade later, there was nobody to dare tie her anywhere. Yet she was feeling like there were chains around her chest, so heavy that she couldn't lift herself from her bed.

Nightmares.

Not the Monstrous kind. Not the kind she would tell Tuffnut in awe when she woke up. Not the kind she would use to freak out the village kids.

The new ones were the kind that made her want to go to Gothi to make sure it would all be fine.

Getting tense to the point of shutting herself down was not a feeling she was used to and she despised it. And despite the worries that made her skin crawl with invisible fireworms, she wasn't going to sit and simmer in her misery. Morning would arrive to make life simple again but the sun would take a while to show its face and she couldn't take a third night in a row alone with her own thoughts.

With a harsh sigh, she got up and fixed her clothes quietly as she could. She wanted no questions to be asked regarding why she was getting ready for a stroll in the dead of the night, when it was raining like the ocean had turned upside down. Knowing that using the door would wake even her hibernating father up, she climbed out of the window and slid down the roof with ease that came through habit.

It was raining harder than she thought but it was welcome when her bare neck and tight chest were ablaze with anxiety. She brushed the streaks of hair off her face and glimpsed around for a moment before deciding on a destination. The village looked almost abandoned apart from the odd light coming through a window here and there. It didn't comfort her. Not too far, a quiet room and its fast asleep resident were about to welcome a guest they did not sign up for.

Ruffnut's feet found their way to Snotlout's house without trouble; it was the sneaking inside part that was tricky. Anyone else would tell her off and shoo her away but she was not up for Spitelout's stinging words that night. The guy wasn't happy that his son was spending some time with her lately and even though she would never admit it, he would be right to flip out if he found her standing in his house dripping rain water in the middle of the night.

She wouldn't be able to climb to Snot's window without making noise, the wet roof was too slippery. Thankfully, the thunders made enough noise to cover her stump and grunts. A minute later, she was in the room, tiptoeing towards Snotlout's bed where the boy slept like a log, drooling and mumbling. The urge to mess with him was burning inside her stomach like hunger but that was not why she came.

The sight of something familiar calmed her restless pulse or maybe it was the rain that drained her off her worries, but she felt the immediate effect of being there instead of anywhere else. Tuffnut could ask questions. She didn't want questions.

She took off the muddy boots and without a peep, leaned over the bed to squeeze next to him on whatever there was left from the bed. Unless Spitelout was coming over to give his son a goodbye kiss before they set sail, she would be fine and that was a mental image she could survive without.

She was leaning over when Snotlout's mumble faded and his eyes cracked open. Ruffnut barely found the time to jump on him and cover his mouth before he started shrieking.

"WHAT TH-"

"SHHH!"

She would later remember the sheer terror on his face and laugh until she could no longer breathe, but her heart was pounding hard as she glimpsed towards the stairs. No movement yet. Good.

"Ruff?"

She loosened her death grip on his face and furrowed her brows. Safe from the rain and breeze outside, the weight of her damp hair was more and more noticeable against her back. It was not the most comfortable feeling.

"Shh! You'll wake your father up!"

Her sharp whisper got lost under a thunder as Snotlout roughly rubbed his face. He really did not care for the small stroke he just had.

"What a- are you crazy, he will be up before dawn! You know they are setting sail soon, right?"

"Calm down, for fuck's sake, I am not violating you! Ugh, forget it..."

She turned her back, cursing herself for thinking that this would be a good idea. She was not in the mood to calm Snotlout's pants. Before she could bolt towards the window, a hand grabbed the back of her tunic and pulled her back to the bed.

"Wait, wait! Wait!"

"Y-"

"Ruff, get back here, I just don't want to wake dad up."

The low voice and the calm reason of his words convinced her to stop pulling herself away. His face had adopted a new concern, knowing that Ruffnut's dead-of-the -night visits were not for serious matters and did not really take place in their bedrooms.

"What's going on?"

A genuine concern in his voice kept Ruffnut from spatting something snarky. She shrugged and focused on her nails. It was easier to look uninterested like that.

"Nothing. I couldn't sleep."

For a split second, Snotlout was going to suggest going out or to Mead Hall but remembering what she was doing when he woke up, he changed his mind.

"Come here."

If it were up to her, she would never ask if she could stay a while, he was damn sure. But the request was not met by protest; instead she rolled her eyes as if she was out of options and lied next to him without further bickering. Between the all the fur and the sheepskin, her skin was cool to touch, still damp and smelled like wind.

With their heads on the same pillow, he could feel the strange sinking feeling in his gut. Her eyes were shut already but from her uneven breaths, he knew she was awake. A flash of lightning filled the room like Flightmare's glow, highlighting the braids messed up from tossing and turning and the tired lines of her face. Ruffnut could feel his stare but she wasn't going to say anything about it.

A violent thunder followed the lightning.

Her head rested on his shoulder, unceremonious.