Noxi: I put this up without editing it one last time so there's probably going to be grammatical errors. I'm tired, wanted this out, oh well. I'm sorry this chapter took so long to get up as well. It was pure procrastination on my part to get it written. I knew what I wanted to write, and found every other reason not to do it. I think the lack of Caryl is actually getting to me. So I think it'll be time for me to work on that. Thank you to BulletTimeScully, as always, for her input on barns/stables.
The Walking Dead belongs to Kirkman and AMC.
Simple
He needed a cigarette. Or a drink. Maybe both. But he knew he wanted that cigarette. Couldn't stand here and watch this shit no longer. The more he thought about it, the more he just wanted to run from it. Cos this wasn't what he'd signed up for. Didn't want to be a part of no family soap opera. He could flip on the TV and watch one for fucks sake.
He sighed, dragging his hand through his hair as he watched the house with unease.
Dale had finally come back and brought the kid with him. She was eager to get home, he could see that on her face. But the minute she spotted him that excitement fell away. Her shoulders dropped, her hands twisted together, she backed up closer to Dale. She turned to Dale, grabbed his hand, and started talking to him.
He knew she were talking about him, asking about him. She kept looking his way, gestured toward him, had Dale looking at him. Didn't like the way they stared at him, but he kept about his business. Seemed some of the shingles on the roof had started coming loose, needed to be replaced, and it weren't gonna be no simple patch job. He was gonna have to take up the old shingles, replace'em, and then check the rest of it for more.
But that girl wouldn't stop staring at him. He could feel her eyes on his back while he moved about the roof, and it made him damn uncomfortable.
He tried to ignore her, keep about his work. That's what he'd been hired to do after all. But he couldn't not keep looking back at her. She was just standing there, still as a statue, staring at him.
Daryl finally gave up and walked to the edge where he could take a break. The sun was beatin' down on him and the sweat was drippin' in his eyes, trickled down his back makin' his shirt to stick him. What he wouldn't give for a cold shower. He sat on the edge, letting his feet hang over, wiping his face off.
That's how he was when Officer Rick Grimes pulled up to the house.
He watched as Rick got out of the white squad car, adjusting his Sheriff's hat over his eyes to block the sun. Rick didn't see him sittin' up there and he was glad for it. He'd had enough run-ins with the law for this town already, and he planned to keep it that way. The less he had to see of Officer Shane the better.
He watched Rick walk up to the house where Sophia ran out, grabbed his hand, smiled at him, greeting him like she knew him.
"Shit," he muttered, pulling his knee up to his chest, wrapping his arm around his leg. Just what he needed. An officer Friendly who kept close with the Peletiers.
"Fuckin' figures," he muttered. What didn't make sense was that if Rick Grimes were a sheriff round these parts then how in the hell did Ed Peletier get away with anything?
He shook his head, fingering his pant leg, fingers itching as he licked his lip.
He wanted to get down from the roof and get his pack of smokes. His fingers itched for one, but he just didn't want to chance walking across the yard to the cabin and running into Grimes. He weren't ready for that yet. He'd had enough trouble for one day, and he was just glad to be doing something to take his mind off of it.
"Shit," he spat, watching as Sophia pointed him out to Grimes. Rick looked his way, holding his hand up to his eyes, and then waved. Daryl grunted, and didn't bother waving back.
What he'd think they were, friends?
The growl slipped passed his lips unwillingly, and he stood up. Damn town-folk. He should a known they were gonna be making their move fast. He stood up quick, shaking himself off. He had more shingles to pull up.
XXX
He sat there on the edge of the roof again, feet dangling over the edge and looked down at his work as the sun started to dip lower on the horizon. All of the shingles that needed to be replaced he'd managed to pull up and now they sat there in the grass. Roof was a patchwork of holes but he felt better for it. Shit would a gotten worse over time and cost more in the end.
Would have cost more to have some asshole come in and take care of it too. He knew he was cheap, easy labor. That's what he was there for. No reason not to utilize him.
He chewed his nail, something eating at him. He'd never had no one stick up for him like that. Merle had tried doin' that a few times, but it always got fucked in the end. They were a fucked family anyway so he didn't bother worrying on it no more. But Carol? He could tell she'd been nervous by that damn hothead and she still managed to tell him no.
But for a minute, he thought she was gonna let that jackass come up the ladder and take over.
He wouldn't admit it to himself, but watching her try to stand up to those assholes made his gut twist. Carol looked scared, and she looked small. He didn't like the way her shoulders caved in, or the way she kept shifting away from the damn Mexican, Martinez. He recognized that look, knew it too well. How many times had he tried to hide from his ol' man? How many times had his ol' man made him feel like there was no way he could run, like he'd cornered him into a trap?
"Who's he?" And he sure as fuck didn't like the way that guy's voice carried. The way he got up in Carol's face, threatening her. What the hell did it matter who he was? Who the hell did that asshole think he was, the fuckin' Lord of some damn cartel and this were his fuckin' territory?
But then it was her eyes on his that dried his mouth, set his palms sweatin' and dug his nails into his skin. He'd never been good at takin' care a nobody, and he couldn't start now.
"He's my new ranch-hand," she said suddenly, looking back at that jackass and drawing her shoulders up, just a little. He could see her fingers curl in tight against her palms. "And he's fixing the roof." Martinez and the black dude gave each other a look, before Martinez's lip curled up in a snarl at Carol.
He couldn't explain what happened next except that a surge of rage went through him, making his skin tingle and his blood boil. He wanted to knock that dick's face into the dirt for doing that to Carol.
"The hell's goin' on?" he called down, feeling too damn conflicted to do anything. He didn't know what the hell he would do. If he went down there, he'd beat that fuckin' look off that assholes face.
But those feelings ragin' inside him?
Confused the shit outta him. He didn't need that now, didn't need that messin' up his head. He was here to work, and that was it. Didn't need to be worryin' bout no damn lady and her business.
Cause that's what it was – her business.
Not his and he certainly didn't need to be takin' care a nothin'. Cause he weren't fuckin' good at that. Had enough shit from his past to prove it. Were enough there to prove that he was a fuck up in more ways than one. Just like Merle.
Just like his ol' man.
"Daryl's fixin' the roof," she said, squarin' off against Martinez. And Martinez's lip curled up at Carol, sending a lick of hot rage through Daryl's gut. He bit his tongue, and thankfully that ass turned on his heel, fuckin' cowboy boots, and walked away.
"Yeah well, when he fucks it up don't come runnin' to us," Martinez growled over his shoulder, stalkin' away.
"Fuckin' greasy lil…" he cut himself off, watchin' Carol talk with the black guy, feeling more like Merle than he'd ever wanted too.
"Dammit," he growled, and turned away hatin' the side of him that was more Dixon than he wanted it to be. He'd carry that with him forever, wouldn't he.
Weren't no escapin' it. Weren't no changin' who you were, or what you'd come from.
Couldn't erase what marked you forever.
"You know he don't mean it, right?" He turned around, and watched as Carol nodded at the black dude, curling into herself, hands clutching at her arms.
Just because he couldn't escape from his scars didn't he mean he had to sit here and watch somebody else get walked all over. She was just a woman, and she didn't look like she wanted these men round her farm.
And before he could think twice about it, he was climbing down the ladder toward her, hammer still in hand making it awkward. He looked down to see her holding the ladder steady for him.
His throat closed up as she watched him intently and he wanted to climb right back up. But it were too late now.
He dropped to the ground, held her eyes for a moment before the anxiety took over. He picked at the skin of his thumb as he watched the red pick-up drive away, thankful those assholes had finally left. He didn't like the way she was looking.
Didn't like the way his chest pinched at the way she looking.
"Everything alright boss?" he muttered, looking away, unsure whether he should ask, unsure what to really call her now that she was his boss, unsure of the whole damn situation. He was nervous about the way she was looking at him now.
"Carol," she forced out, and he caught her shoulders caving in, and her eyes filling with tears as she stormed off.
Way to go lil brother, laughter echoing in his head.
"Fuck you," he growled, and hurried back up the ladder and started taking the hammer to the shingles, tearing them off the roof with more force than he had before.
He was still sittin' on the roof when Dale walked over to talk with Rick, Sophia gone, Carol still in the house. He didn't know what the hell they were all doin' and he didn't care.
He just wanted to get off the roof and take a shower. Needed to figure out where he was gonna do that. Didn't want to take one in the fuckin' house.
He'd find a fuckin' river before he did that. And he needed one. He was startin' to stink, the sweat makin' a home in his skin. He didn't mind it, but his new – Carol might mind it.
He didn't think she'd appreciate the smell.
He still hadn't had his smoke and he was gettin' fuckin' pissed about that. He didn't have nothin' to be afraid of, to be worried about. Rick Grimes was nothin' but a brown coat with a big hat and a shiny star.
He hadn't done nothin' wrong.
You a pussy? His jaw ached, as he ground back an automatic response to that voice in his head. He hated that after all he'd done to run they were still there inside his head, taunting him. No matter how far he'd come he couldn't escape his blood.
"They found him." He jumped in his own skin.
"Shit," he barked out, as he scrambled back from the edge of the roof because he nearly fell off. He glanced down, finding the top of the little girl's head below his feet. She stood next to the ladder, watching Rick and Dale talk. His heart was pounding in his chest.
She didn't look up at him, didn't make any other comments. She just stood there, watching the house. He didn't know if he should say somethin' or go down there.
He'd never been good with kids, and he always managed to screw somethin' up with them same as women. If he didn't like being around women, he liked being around kids even less.
They took everything you said to heart. They did whatever you told them, and they never fought back. He didn't want to be the one to fuck some kid up because of something he said or did. Didn't want that on his head.
But it didn't matter. She just walked back into the stable without a word.
He stared after her, confused as hell, not sure what that was all about. But he'd take a guess as to the 'he' she was talking about.
And he didn't like the way that settled in his stomach.
XXX
Rick had gone into the house and that was when he'd made his descent from the roof. He needed to figure out where he should throw the wood away, find a tarp to cover the roof in case it rained. Didn't need to get in trouble for letting the horses get wet, and he sure as hell didn't need to ruin the rest of the roof.
He was carrying the ladder back to the shed where he'd got it when Dale came walking up to him. He weren't in the talking mood but he figured there was no avoiding it.
"Can we talk?" He was propping it up on the wall when he froze. No one had ever asked before. He turned to find Dale taking that stupid bucket hat off his head and running a hand through his thinning hair.
Daryl thought about it for a moment. Didn't see no reason not to. He'd asked and no one had ever done that before. Usually people just started spouting off shit to him. He crossed his arms over his chest and nodded. Man looked like he needed to get something off his chest anyway.
"What'd you say to Carol about Outlaw?" He grit his teeth and backed up a step, legs bumping into something behind him. He swallowed hard against the anger boiling out of his chest, and he felt his nails digging into his palms.
"Hell you say ol' man?" Dale's eyes widened and he took a step back.
There was a moment of heavy silence where Dale seemed to think about finishing whatever the hell he was gonna say. Daryl couldn't believe this. What the hell was that lady doin', accusing him of shit?
"I just want to know if you said anything to Carol about Outlaw," Dale said, the words rushing out of him in a panic. He looked scared now and damn right if he did. Sitting there and accusing him of shit he didn't do.
"Fuck this," he muttered and stepped around Dale, pushing past his shoulder as he went. "I ain't gotta sit here and do this. I didn't do nothin' to her," he growled as he stepped out of the shed, the setting sun blinding him for a moment. He could tell it was gonna get dark fast. That sun would slip past those mountains and night would be here fast. Just like it had been at home.
Fuckin' home, he thought. You think you run far enough and you can't escape nothin'.
"Daryl wait," Dale called, running to catch up to him. He pushed on, heading for the stables, away from Dale and whatever the hell he was trying to say. This is exactly what he didn't want to happen.
Already people were trying to put the blame on him for shit and he didn't even do nothing wrong.
He heard the scream and he didn't know what the fuck it was or what he was supposed to do. He'd never heard a thing like that before. Something that could tear you in half and leave you trampled in the ground. It cut him inside, and left his ears bleeding. He wanted to curl back into his chest like he used to do when he was a kid and he wanted to run so far away until his legs ached and his feet burned and he couldn't breathe no longer.
He looked up, hearing it come from further down the farm. The cattle in the field scattered briefly, moving away from the building that the noise was coming from. He stood up, the hammer hanging uselessly at his side.
He heard the door bang shut behind him and saw Carol streaking out of the house and across the yard. She looked scared. She stopped by the stables and he looked down at her, anxiety gripping him tight.
"Carol?" But another scream ripped through the air and she took off, ignoring him. Her face was set, her shoulders were tight and he didn't think she had it in her to run so fast. But she was gone.
He hesitated for a moment. This wasn't anything he was familiar with. Did he help her? Was that part of his job? Was it something he could actually do? Did she even want him there?
But it was the sight of her fading back as she sprinted for the shed where the screams were now coming frantically that made his decision. She didn't stop, she didn't hesitate, she just ran. There was nothing that held her back, and nothing that stopped her from making that choice. She needed to get there, whatever it was.
And nothing would stop her.
He dropped the hammer on the roof and scrambled for the edge, climbing down the ladder as fast as he could. He ran for the sounds, his labored breathing loud in his ears, sweat dripping in his eyes.
And then he slid to a stop.
The horse was huge. Brown, with a white streak down its nose. It jerked and it screamed and it flung its large body around the small confines of the shed that it had been tied down to.
He couldn't believe what he was seeing.
First, the horse had something that tied around its face. The ropes that held him down were tied to that face contraption and he'd never wanted more than in that moment to hurt somebody for this.
Just because it was an animal didn't mean it deserved this. It didn't deserve to be locked away, without the freedom to move. It didn't deserve to not see the sky, and to live.
And then Carol stepped forward, and he couldn't breathe. The beast was still jerking and tip-toeing around. He wouldn't have gone near that thing when it was in that state. One wrong move and it looked like you could get your ass knocked out.
But she walked up to him slowly, hands out. And then she rested her hand against him, pushing her body closer to his.
And the horse? He couldn't believe it, but the damn thing seemed to settle.
He wouldn't never admit it, but it was like a magic. She rested her head against its shoulder, shushing and talking to it, and he couldn't help but watch her calm a beast that had every right to be angry.
She unclipped the ropes from his face, and tugged him toward the entrance. He was hesitant to follow, and Daryl didn't blame him. He wouldn't have gone nowhere with someone who'd locked him up and treated him like that. He wouldn't have trusted no one.
But once that horse got free of those shed doors he jumped back on his legs and screamed again – this one different than before. This time he looked like he was ready to fly.
He could see the difference in the horse, the way he started dancing back and forth, tossing his head back. The hair on his neck whipping in the wind, and Daryl could see in his eyes how much that horse wanted to run.
If he could a he would a let that horse just go.
Carol started walking him to the pasture and he followed, watching her coax him forward, her voice soft and her hands gentle. He'd never seen someone interact that way with an animal before. Never seen that kind of gentleness in somebody's face. The tenderness in her hands. She never once yelled at him for being out of control or for trying to get away from her. She didn't look angry and she didn't stop him from shaking off his hurt. She just led him to the only place where he could be free.
He saw the closed gate and ran to open it, figuring she had her hands full. He wouldn't know how to open a gate with a horse like that in his way.
And when she smiled at him it was all he could not to duck his head in shame. She was practically thanking him.
He was gonna have to tell her to stop. He'd never had no one be that nice to him before, and it was uncomfortable. He didn't know how to respond to it as he let it fall shut behind her.
"Let me help you," she pleaded, reaching up to unhook the thing around his face. The horse struggled for a moment, but once he realized that thing was off he was gone. And Daryl, he felt something strike him. The way that horse took off, running around the fence as if he were free felt all too familiar. Felt as if he knew exactly what that looked like, only the horse still had walls.
"Why don't ya just let'im go?"
He would have. Horse deserved to be free. It was all he wanted. What'd they need him for anyway? They had the cattle, they had the other horses. Did they really need the one that didn't want to be there, the one that fought them so hard to not be there?
He saw Carol hug her arms around herself as she ducked her head away from him. Her fingers dug into her skin and he was about to take it back. He didn't mean to talk outta line. Horse was their property. Not like he had any say in this shit.
And then she turned on her heel, opened the gate, ran past him avoiding his gaze and ran to the house.
But he didn't miss the way her eyes shone in the sunlight the highlighted her face.
Maybe he'd said something wrong. He was always saying something wrong, but he sure as hell didn't do nothing wrong. He'd started on the roof, done what he could to help Carol with that fuckin' horse and made one lousy fuckin' comment.
Were they gonna crucify him for it?
"Look I didn't do nothing," he bit back over his shoulder, still walking away.
"Son, stop." And that was the last straw. He whirled around; face in Dale's and didn't stop that anger from boiling over this time.
"Don't fuckin' call me that," he spat in Dale's face, clenching his hands at his sides before he did something with them that he would regret. Dale's eyes were wide and he put his hands up, and Daryl turned away before he got the urge to do something that Merle would a been proud of.
"I'm sorry Daryl I didn't mean to imply anything. It's just that Carol's upset, been talking about letting Outlaw go free." He stopped in his tracks. Let the horse go free? Let that horse, that had been chained to the wall go free? He didn't say anything but he waited for Dale to continue.
Would she really let it go?
"I don't know if you said anything to her to start that or what. But whether ya did or didn't, doesn't much matter I guess," he trailed off. Daryl glanced over his shoulder, interest piqued against his better judgment.
"Why?" he asked, keeping the curiosity out of his voice. Why couldn't she let the damn horse go? Why couldn't it be free?
Dale looked back at the house, his face grim.
"She can't let that horse go," Dale said desperately, lips pinched together tightly. "Ed will kill her if he comes back to find Outlaw gone. He was the one who bought him to begin with. Outlaw is Ed's and always will be."
Daryl felt a trickle of hate simmer low in his belly and he turned to face Dale, shoulders curling in. He was starting to regret taking on this job suddenly. Starting to hate it with every muscle in his body.
"Just a horse," he said. Because it was. Weren't like the damn thing was gonna do them any damn good right now anyhow. Damn beast wouldn't let nobody touch it, or go near it. Hell, he was surprised Carol hadn't gotten a kick to the face earlier. He'd almost feared she would. She'd come so close to getting hurt.
Dale had a look of regret on his face. "Not just a horse I'm afraid. And it's not Carol's decision to make in the end. Everything on this farm belongs to Ed," he said, his voice catching at the end. Daryl caught his eyes and flinched. There was a look of sadness and pity in them that he wished he hadn't seen it.
"Everything," he said one more time as his eyes held Daryl's and then he walked away.
Daryl didn't like what that implied or the way it made his chest clench.
XXX
He took that first drag on the cigarette, his eyes lowering in content as the ashy taste filled his lungs gratifyingly. He'd been waiting for this shit all damn day. He sighed, watching the smoke curl around his head. Was a long day, the first day, and he was already ready to get the hell out of dodge. Put the cigarette to his lips, and breathed in, watching the tip glow bright red, the cherry color reminding him painfully of his Ma.
He leaned back in the lawn chair he'd found tucked in the back of the tool shed, covered in cob webs and exhaled, watching the smoke drift around him.
If every day were gonna be as eventful as this one, he was gonna have to figure out where to buy more smokes. He didn't think he was gonna last on the two packs he'd come with.
A shadow to the left had him leaning forward but he stopped, and smirked. A cat slinked out, wide blue eyes peering up at him, tail swishing languidly.
"Hell you want?" It walked toward him, glided really. Cats were fuckin' weird like that. All graceful and shit, but demonic lookin' at the same time.
It sat at his heels and looked up at him, letting out a meow as it cocked its head to the side. It was tan and grey at the same time. He didn't know what cats were, didn't matter much. He weren't a cat person. But animals had always been a him person. Merle liked to make fun of him for that.
Cos you the sweet one baby brother, an' they know it.
Merle might a been right about somethin'.
"I don't want ya," he murmured as he reached down slowly, to see if it'd let him pet it. It reached forward, hesitant and sniffed his hand.
He flinched as a loud snap echoed across the yard, scaring the cat off, and sending his cigarette rolling across the ground. He looked up to see the little girl, Sophia, running across the yard towards the stable.
He bent over to the pick up his cigarette and waited a moment, to see if Carol would follow. He saw a shape through the kitchen window for a moment, and then it was gone.
"The hell?" He stood up, his curiosity gettin' the better of him and he walked to the stables. His skin crawled at the sound of the horses inside but he kept walking.
He circled around, and peered inside. He didn't see nothin' and he was about to walk away when he heard a voice sift through the air.
"It won't ever stop."
Daryl felt something tug at him in two directions. One told him to walk away because he shouldn't be doing what could be seen as eavesdropping. But the other wanted to know what the hell was going on.
"Bluebird," he heard, and felt his heart drop. She had to be talking to one of the horses, which meant one of them was named Bluebird.
What were the fucking chances of that?
He should have walked away when he had the chance. He should have stayed in the town before this one. He should have turned tail when Andrea had that look on her face when she told him about this place.
He should have just stayed in fucking Georgia.
"Why would he take Sky away Blue? Mama loves Sky," he could hear the tears in her voice as he leaned up against the wall, pulling on his cigarette. He looked up to the sky, watching as the stars blinked in and out of view.
Least the dark was different out here. Least the sounds were different out here. Least he didn't have to worry about Merle comin' in to his room at night, higher than a kite lookin' to let off some steam, or his ol' man lookin' to take his anger out on somebody.
Least here, he was free.
"He just hurts Mama Blue," she sobbed, and he knew he shouldn't a been there listening to her. Wasn't his place and it sure as hell weren't right.
He dropped the cigarette and crushed it with his heel before walking away.
He was gonna have to find a way to avoid all this drama and just focus on the work. That was all he came here for. To get away from his fucked up life, and to find some work. Maybe live out the rest of his pathetic life without all the trouble. He just wanted it to be simple.
Weren't nothing wrong with that, were there. Wantin' something simple. Yeah he felt bad for this lady and her kid, but did that mean he had to do something about it? Did it have to be his mission to take care of all the fucked up kids in the world? Did he have to be everybody's goddamn hero?
"Fuck." He didn't come here to get caught up in somebody else's shit. He left his own troubles behind because he was done with that.
He walked back to the cabin. He just needed to try and sleep. Forget. For a few fuckin' hours he'd just forget.
He sighed, rubbing a hand over his face, massaging his eyes. He'd figure out a way to make tomorrow simple.
A/N: No but seriously I'm thinking this next chapter Carol and Daryl will finally be having their time together. Thanks for being here you guys and to my Guest Reviewers as well. I know you all take time to leave reviews behind when you don't have too and that means a shit ton to me.
I leave you my love this time!