A/N: Exams are over and you know what that means! Regular updating shall resume again! Every Monday, as usual. It's good to be back :3
Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games.
Chapter Thirteen
"So, yeah, there was a loose wire in the pig pen and whatever angle it was pointed out at it just caught his arm," I explain. Peeta sits on our kitchen counter, looking incredibly uncomfortable as my mother fusses around the kitchen, collecting things from various places to treat his arm with. Prim sits on the counter adjacent to Peeta's, swinging her legs merrily and watching mum carefully, probably memorising what was to be used to treat the wound.
"Was it rusty?" Mum asks, her voice echoed as her head is currently inside the cabinet below the sink.
I look to Peeta, unsure. "I-I don't think so," he replies. "The pen is just new, dad built it at the b-beginning of the week so . . ."
"Good, then I don't need to take you into A&E," says Mum. Even though she said she didn't have to take him into A&E, a panicked expression washes over Peeta's face. Mum smiles. "Would be your second visit in two days."
"Could have been a record," adds Prim.
I'm holding Peeta's arm almost possessively, holding a kitchen cloth against the bleeding wound. It's clear that being around a doctor and a trainee doctor is making Peeta nervous. I wonder how he was able to handle being in the hospital when Gale brought his fingers? Hopefully if they weren't able to notice his weight then, Mum won't notice it now.
"Katniss, lift the towel, I need to clean the wound," says mum. I do as she tells me and allow her to clean up the cut. "This may sting a little, Peeta. It's disinfectant." Mum drops some clear liquid into Peeta's wound and immediately Peeta winces in pain. His body shudders at the agony it causes and he reaches out towards me, almost subconsciously, with his free hand. I take his hand in both of mine and squeeze it tight.
"Prim, see if there's any painkillers in the medicine cupboard," I say.
Prim twists around to the cupboard behind her and rummages inside for painkillers. She tosses the box to mum who pops two pills out of the little plastic sheet. Since she sits beside the sink, Prim also fills a glass of water and passes it to me. "Take those before I start stitching," mum tells Peeta. "It might help with the pain."
Peeta looks unsure. He probably hasn't eaten today . . . would he be able to stomach pills? "Thank you Mrs Everdeen but I'm not very good at taking pills," he lies smoothly. "Gag reflex too sensitive and all that."
Mum glances at me and I nod, not even thinking twice about backing up his lie. "Do you think you'll be okay without it?" she asks.
"Here's hoping," Peeta says weakly. His face is ashen and I tighten my hands over his. I ignore the fact that I can feel the individual bones in his fingers without having to hold on all that tight.
The stitching process is quite interesting. I watch with avid curiosity as Mum cuts away the jagged flesh around the edges of the wound with a tiny scalpel and stitches it closed with a thin thread. Prim has even gotten off the counter to have a look. The only person not invested in the whole thing is Peeta, who is looking in a completely different direction and focusing on something that isn't the pain of the stitching. I'm still holding his hand, hoping that I am providing some form of comfort to him.
"Prim, can you do me a favour and wash the scalpel up in the bathroom. The rubbing alcohol such be under the sink," says Mum. "I want to talk to Katniss and Peeta alone for a moment."
I'm immediately alarmed by this and for once want Prim to hang around. Instead, she does as mum tells her too and takes the scalpel up to the bathroom. Mum doesn't talk for a moment. Instead she tidies up the mess she made in the hurry to stitch Peeta's wound before he bled out. She throws the kitchen towel into the washing machine and closes the lid before turning and pressing her back against it. She folds her arms and focuses on us with a cool, calculating expression.
"Peeta, I want to talk to you about your weight," she says. Her voice is devoid of emotion but nonetheless I nearly faint at her words. Peeta is silent. "Prim said that when she saw you studying with Katniss that you looked undernourished but I thought she was exaggerating. However," she pauses and I can practically see the cogs turning in her head to find the right way to word her next point, "the arm I just stitched is not a healthy size for a boy your age. And I think you know that."
I want to come to Peeta's defence but I don't know what to say. I look at him worriedly but he's staring at the floor, almost like my mother is scolding him for something.
"Have you been eating, Peeta?"
Silence.
"Leave him alone, Mum," I finally manage to say.
"Katniss, do you realize how dangerous this is?" Mum asks, her blue eyes burning into me like wildfire. I swallow hard and hold her gaze. "People die of this sort of thing, Katniss. It's not a game, you know." She crosses the kitchen and sits on a stool beside Peeta. "Look," she says to him, "I know this is a difficult time. Senior year; exams; adolescent pressure; but this situation doesn't seem like it can wait. Do your parents cook for your family? Have they noticed this sudden change in your appearance? Or do you eat regularly and there's something wrong with your body's consumption of it?"
Peeta still won't look at her. His shoes have suddenly become fascinating to him and he puts all his attention there. I'm still hanging onto his hand, like its anchoring me to the floor. Our fingers are intertwined and it comforts me that he obviously needs me holding him as much as need him holding me.
"I appreciate your concern, Mrs Everdeen, but it's not necessary," Peeta tells the floor. "I have everything under control."
"And what control is that, exactly?" asks Mum.
"I . . ." Peeta trails off. He clearly doesn't know what to say. It's clear nobody has shown so much concern about his weight deterioration and he doesn't have any pre-thought up answers He looks to me, blue eyes shining, almost pleading to me to get my mum to stop asking him such questions. A part of me wants to make him happy. Another part is conflicted because it wants Mum to continue and get him help. The final part is helpless, not knowing what to say even if it wanted to.
"Have your parents noticed this?" Mum tries to help him by asking.
Peeta shakes his head.
"Do you want them to know?"
Another shake of the head.
"How long ago would you say this started?"
"Since what started, Mrs Everdeen?" Peeta asks quietly.
"Since your body has deteriorated." I notice that Mum hasn't come right out with it and said 'been anorexic'. She has probably dealt with people with the same issue before. I catch Mum's eye and she stares at me. It's like, in that moment, she sees past me into my mind and unlocks the secrets I have regarding Peeta. She knows that I know about his illness, that I have kept it secret, and that I have probably signed his death warrant.
"Peeta, I'm going to suggest this to you gently and you by no means have to answer me now," Mum says carefully. "Would you be open to coming to the hospital someday soon and having a discussion with me about possible treatments for anorexia or bulimia?"
Hearing those words out loud jolts Peeta out of whatever passive state he was in. He jumps off the counter and detangles his hand from mine. "Thank you Mrs Everdeen but I truly am fine," he says. He looks at me and smiles weakly. "You're very lucky to have a mother who cares so much."
"You don't have to go," I say as he heads for the door.
"My mum will be looking for me," he replies without looking back. He's gone before I can take even one step closer to him.
I whirl around on Mum, anger filling me up. "What the hell is wrong with you?!" I yell at her.
"Katniss," Mum says in that measured voice of hers, "I want you to tell me the truth. Is Peeta unwell?"
"That's none of your damn business!" I snap.
Mum stands up from the stool. She's not much taller than me and is very lanky, however she still feels like a giant. She pins me down with that annoying parental stare of hers and repeats, "I want you to tell me the truth. Is Peeta unwell?"
I stand up as well. "I don't have to tell you anything," I say, reaching out for my crutches.
Mum takes me by surprise and grabs my shoulders. She shakes me a little. "Katniss!" she snaps, "this is beyond you being a prissy teenager. I understand you're going through a lot and I've been taking your attitude on the chin but this isn't about us. This boy's life is at stake. You do realize that people die of this sort of thing, right?"
"Of course," I mutter begrudgingly.
"Why won't you tell me?" Mum asks, her grip on my shoulders loosening.
"I promised," I say quietly. My eyes fall to the floor but I still feel hers burning into the top of my head. Then it just comes out. Just like it did in Doctor Aurelius' office. "Mum, Peeta is anorexic. He has been for . . . I don't know how long. Probably sometime after he lost the weight in Junior year. I've been trying to encourage him to go to the hospital but he won't listen to me." I inhale, feeling like a weight has been lifted off my chest, and breathe out shakily. "It's my fault."
Mum's gaze softens. She touches my face. "How could you possibly think that?" she asks.
"I was the one who started calling him fat," I tell her. "It's not just him, either. I've been doing it to loads of people since dad died and I've only realized recently how awful I've been and I don't know how to fix it and I think Peeta's going to die because he won't listen to me and he won't even make an effort to try to eat and . . . and . . ." It feels like all the air has been sucked out of the room and I'm gasping desperately, trying to find some. Tears have gathered in my eyes and Mum is just staring at me, taken aback by my outburst.
"Katniss, calm down sweetheart," she says, pulling me against her into a hug. "It's not your fault. The fact that you're trying to fix things is evidence enough that you're not who you used to me."
"But he won't listen to me. You saw how he acts about it," I mutter into her shoulder.
"All we can do is try," Mum answers. "There is nothing else to be done."
~xXx~
The Past to Present Ceremony is a joke. All it consists of is the jocks and the rest of the top food chainers being called up on stage constantly to accept awards. I can't stand it anymore, especially when Glimmer gets called up three times to accept awards for cheerleading and accepting a heavy titled role at such short notice (my heavy titled role). They give me a medal for good sportsman ship but don't make me get up, instead having Glimmer herself come down and present it to me in my seat. I roll my eyes at the applause and throw it carelessly over my neck.
No one sees Glimmer and I glare at each other.
"We're nearly finished, you'll be glad to hear," Principal Snow jokes. I grind my teeth together but relief washes through me and I find myself smiling. Thank God! "The only thing left is to allow our new head of Pastoral Care, Mrs Lyme, to present an award to the group that she thinks-as a newcomer to the school-is most impressive."
By the grin on Snow's face, I think I can already tell who Mrs Lyme has chosen. Urgh, more sickly smiling and waving off Glimmer. Seriously, she has been behaving like it's a beauty pageant. I slid down in my seat and pray for it to be over as quickly and painlessly as possible.
Mrs Lyme takes the microphone off of Snow and moves to the centre of the stage. "Well, this school certainly knows how to congratulate the sports side of things," she grins. "But I think it's about time we acknowledge the academic side of District High." The smile drops off Snow's face like a hot potato. I push myself back up. What?
"There's a study programme," Mrs Lyme begins, "where students tutor those who are struggling. I've been observing this for a while and I have to say it's very impressive. I asked Mr Abernathy if he was responsible for it and he told me it was a group of students who approached him, asking for it to be organised so they could use their smarts to aid others."
My heart is in my throat and I can't stop smiling. No way . . .
"I want this award to go those children," she says. "The ones who maybe don't get enough acknowledgement for their efforts." She looks at a piece of paper I didn't notice was in her hand until now and says, "And those children are Johanna Mason, Annie Cresta, Finch Hannigan and Peeta Mellark."
I could have whooped I was so overjoyed. The applause is weak but I clap as hard as I can manage. At first I couldn't see them but then they appear to the left of the stage. Johanna, Annie and Finch are smiling but Peeta's trailing a little behind like he's about to be taken to the electric chair. Johanna turns around as they walk and grabs his wrist, egging him on a little as they clamour up the stairs.
The girls make Peeta accept the award off Mrs Lyme, even though he doesn't look even half as happy as they do. I begin to wonder why but that's when it happens. At the very back of the room, a voice shouts,
"He's even huge from back here!"
My eyes widen in horror as everyone bursts out laughing. Mrs Lyme looked horrified but Snow is obviously hiding a smirk. Johanna pushes through the group to the front of the stage, all fire and rage, and yells, "Come up here and say it again! I'll fuck you up you arrogant fucktard just give me a damn excuse!"
Mrs Lyme tries to get Johanna to back down and looks helplessly to Snow, who has disappeared behind the curtain. Glimmer then stands up and says, "I can see like ten chins just from here!"
Johanna's blazed eyes fall on Glimmer and she jumps off the stage. The people sitting in the seats around Glimmer scramble away as Johanna lunges and a fight breaks out in the audience. I'm stuck in my seat and I can't see much as everyone gathers around in the hall to witness it. I can't believe how fast everything fell apart!
Mrs Lyme drives herself into the middle of the fight and splits them up. Mr Abernathy holds Johanna back while Mrs Lyme holds Glimmer. Mrs Trinket is trying to get everyone to sit down but nobody is listening to her. I look to the stage desperately and see Annie and Finch trying to console Peeta. He doesn't look like he's listening to either of them. He looks . . . almost like he's in pain. He rubs the back of his neck and winces, waving off whatever they're saying to him flippantly.
He parts from them both and moves to the corner of the stage. The light hits him a different way and I see a sheen of sweat on his forehead. Actually, he's sweating really badly. He holds his arm against his forehead briefly, eyes closed and lips moving silently as he tries to talk himself down. I want to run to him and help but I can't. Everyone's in the way and I'd get knocked over because I move so slowly.
Then it happens.
Peeta's face convulses in pain and his hand goes to his chest, clutching the material of his baggy shirt and digging into the skin underneath. His lips stop moving but his mouth stays open, like he's trying to say something but can't get the words out. Then, in less than a second, he collapses onto the stage with a loud bang.
"PEETA!" I scream, silencing the entire hall. All eyes go to the stage, where Annie and Finch have ran to where Peeta has fallen. Mr Abernathy lets go of Johanna and bolts to the stage, not bothering to take the stairs in the rush. Mrs Trinket ushers people out but doesn't see me still seated off to the side.
I heave myself up and move to the stage as fast as I can. My heart is pounding in my chest and I can't breathe. Mr Abernathy presses his ear against Peeta's chest and swears. "Mrs Lyme I need the emergency defibrillator now!" he says urgently.
Mrs Lyme runs to the back of the hall and smashes the glass holding the emergency defibrillator. "What's happened?" Annie asks, her hand over her mouth in shock.
"Back away girls," Abernathy orders.
"Tell us what's happened!" I shout. I'm still not at the stage yet but all eyes turn to me as soon as I speak.
"Peeta seems to have gone into cardiac arrest, Katniss, now let me do my job and help him!" Abernathy snaps at me. Mrs Lyme gives him the defibrillator. It's the sort you'd see on Hospital Soaps. The sort you never thought you'd ever see in action. Abernathy rips Peeta's shirt open to use them and that's when there's a long pause.
"Oh my god!" Finch cries out, tears glittering in her eyes.
I feel like I'm about to pass out. Peeta's ribcage is so prominent, Mr Abernathy isn't sure whether it would be safe to use the defibrillator or not. He tries anyway, for the sake of keeping Peeta alive, and when Peeta's body jumps at the voltage, there's a crack as it hits the floor again. Bruises are already forming along his right side; the side in which he fell on top of.
The defibrillator doesn't work until the third try and when it does, Peeta begins to breathe shallowly. I reach across the stage, my body pressed tight against it, and thread my fingers through his. "I'm here," I tell him, even if he can't hear me. "It's okay."
"The poor boy," Mrs Lyme says gently.
Annie and Finch are hugging each other. I wonder if they ever knew what Peeta was doing to himself. Did Johanna even know? She got dragged out of the hall by the ear by Mrs Trinket . . .
"That explains the heart attack," Abernathy says, almost to himself. He looks at Mrs Lyme. "Has an ambulance been called?" Mrs Lyme nods silently. "I knew he was having trouble at home but this . . . this is extreme."
"Don't listen to them," I say to Peeta's unconscious body. "You're fine." His eyes are fluttering, eyelashes casting shadows on his cheeks. "You're beautiful."
When the ambulance does come, they try to tell me that I can't leave to come with him. "Let me go or I will break my other leg just to get there," I threaten. Abernathy says he'll supervise me to Lyme, who agrees and allows me to get into the van with Peeta.
I fear what is to come next.
A/N: In other news I posted a teaser for chapter two of 'Kindred' and it shall commence with regular updating also on Friday :)
Let me know what you think! I hate what I've done to Peeta :/