Date: Year 10, March. One day after the end of the Victory Tour.

"What is that?" A dismayed male voice said.

Mags grinned. She'd been confident about finding Kyle waiting for her despite the early hour and the miserable weather, but nothing beat seeing him there, after weeks of absence, in the chilly fog, his hair still moist from a quick shower and his adorable smile firmly in place.

The smile quickly fell. "You can't wear that," Kyle said, looking at her as if she had misplaced her brain, "it smells of them, it doesn't belong here, no matter how great it makes you look." Kyle shook his head, his cheeks puffing slightly as he glowered at her fur-coat, "Nope, you're going to have to take it off, Mags," he deadpanned.

Mags put-out expression was replaced by a smirk. "You're going to have to take if off me if it bothers you so much," she said in playful tones, her hands on her hips.

Kyle's smile grew. He gaily grasped her arms and pushed her against the wall of her house.

Mags' heart began to race as Kyle winked, undoing her top button, still keeping her firmly against the cold surface. The winter breeze engulfed itself around her now exposed neck, biting at her searing skin.

Kyle's fingers fumbled over the button just above her breasts.

Which were still under two layers of opaque warm clothing... Mags would never have noticed had she not being struggling to pay attention despite the distraction. Her man's smile was strained, his eyes glassed over, far away.

Kyle's hands were suddenly grasping her shoulders. "I really missed you," he said, pulling her close and nuzzling her neck.

Mags let herself enjoy the hug, a smile dancing on her lips, but soon she pushed him away. "Me too, but, Kyle, we need to talk."

She felt almost sorry when she saw his face crumple. Her tone hadn't even been that solemn…

"Don't say that." Even his freckles had paled.

Mags cuffed him, a wry smile on her lips. "Don't be ridiculous." Why was he afraid of anything she may say? "We're going to sit down until you can unbutton my coat without panicking."

His wide-eyed stare was so guileless that Mags wondered if he was as clueless about his issues as she had been. "Right." He flashed her a rueful smile. "Shouldn't be too hard."

Apparently it was. He got distracted, asked her questions, stole a passionate kiss or two, made her laugh with silly anecdotes, but her coat remained buttoned.

"This is stupid," he finally grumbled, his cheeks flaming.

Mags bit back a small smile. He was so cute like this. Yet this was all but stupid.

"Kyle, I just spend three months wondering if I was physically your type," Mags said with a strained smile. "I love that you respect me, but I want to know if you're holding back or if you really don't…"

Circe, this was awkward.

"Mags, you're perfect, don't…" Kyle looked down, his cheeks blazing. He grasped her hands and turned pleading eyes up to hers. "Listen, I enjoy being with you so much, I don't want to ruin it. I don't feel the need to rush things since it's already so good."

"Kyle, stop fretting about me, I want things to move faster between us," Mags said, slightly mortified to have to spell it out to him.

Kyle furrowed his brow, taken off guard. "You've never told me you love me," he said defensively.

"I care for you, I want to be with you, I miss you when I don't see you. But I feel there's still so much shadow. You've never made me feel desired, Kyle. I realize I need that," the young woman said, now just as defensive. "You're making me learn things about myself, and… I never thought I was vain but I hate that you seem totally oblivious to my body."

Kyle reached out with his hand, his face dissolving into a desperate plea for understanding. "I'm not like them, Mags. I'm not oblivious, you're beautiful. I don't want you to feel the need to make yourself so vulnerable just to give me a moment of pleasure. I'd hate myself," he stressed, disgust seeping into his features.

"There is a difference between being a pig and finding your girlfriend sexy," Mags said, now feeling the impact of a night cut much too short as Kyle's words upset her more than they should have.

He'd seen his aunt forced at nine. Mags couldn't imagine how horrible that had been, but Kyle couldn't let it distort his whole conception of relationships!

Kyle frowned, he raised his arms before him as if he was trying to structure his mind. "I don't have to put you through that to be happy with you," he said slowly. "So many women feel the need to sacrifice themselves to keep their man, but I swear, I'm happy, I'm staying."

Mags eyes narrowed dangerously. She hoped he had no inkling of what he was saying, that he was just being stupid in a frantic attempt to reassure her. "Did you just call my mother a whore?"

"What?" Kyle exclaimed taking a step back. His face was a mix of shock, dismay and fear. "No! What's your mother got to do with anything?"

"Every woman who lies with a man pretends or sacrifices herself?" Mags hissed, wondering how a twenty year old could believe such a degrading thing. "Do you take girls for… for creatures so moved by instinct we'd go through anything to have kids or is it that we're so weak we need a man whatever goes? Or are we so vile we'd lie to the men we love about enjoying sex to keep the peace? So condescending as to believe men so shallow they'd be happy to unwittingly hurt someone who means the world to them?" Mags continued, her faced flushed as her voice rose, each of her sentences feeding her own anger. "Do you think girls who have sex for fun are mentally addled then? And forget girls in general, are you even listening to me? I want you to let yourself desire me because I sure as hell desire you." Mags exhaled, her shoulders aching from the tension she was putting on them. She felt like a cornered animal, as if she was begging for attention like a pathetic little person.

Kyle was her boyfriend, and he thought she was abasing herself out of fear, that she was weak, with no self-respect. Bile scorched her throat.

"Don't you think you're taking your traumatized lesbian aunt a little too seriously?" She said through clenched teeth. Narissa was only twenty-five. Mags couldn't believe Kyle would let her have so much moral authority over him.

Her accusation had the effect of a thunder-shock.

Shock, bewilderment, anger, disgust, shame, fury. Mags could see them warring on Kyle's reddening face, alternating, mixing together, tensing his muscles while his veins throbbed in his neck as his brain followed a logic that Mags couldn't begin to grasp.

The victor took a deep breath, preparing herself for a violent explosion, for one of Kyle's clenched fists to smash into the nearest wall like she'd seen her uncle do in moments of fury. Instead, his emotions were replaced by a lost look. He swallowed painfully, his jaw locked in a grimace, as if she'd shredded his pride with a knife.

Kyle turned around and left without a word, his long strides soon swallowed up by the fog.

Mags stumbled, as if her heart had gained a stone. She caught herself against the wall, suddenly feeling the chill seeping in her bones. She buttoned up her collar, tears seeping into her eyes.

Had she been too harsh? She had known for months that Kyle lacked a solid sense of self-worth, but she'd never suspected it was due to an ingrained hate of men; and a paradoxically frightening contempt for women.

Well, at least now they both were aware there was a problem.

Mags forced herself to think positive as she walked home. There was no reason they couldn't both work through this. Better have him leave and think than pretend to accept her reasoning and change the subject.

She left towards town, glad the walls were thick and the windows solid because, although even her mother slept soundly at dawn when her night had started at four am.

Mags had been too eager to see Kyle to sleep longer, and now she knew she was much too agitated to go back to bed. No matter, she would go fetch Esperanza at the Corduroys' a little earlier than planned. It was far enough to allow her to put a smile back on her face for her sister.

Crushing a rolling wave of stinging resentment towards Narissa was proved much harder than Mags wished to admit.

Date: Year 10, March. Seven months after Mags' victory.

Mags stopped in her tracks.

"Are you okay?" She asked through the door.

Mags wasn't so surprised to glimpse Esperanza standing in her underwear in front of her full sized-mirror, what surprised her more was to see her sister awake before the sun.

"Do I look fat?"

Mags stared, waiting for her brain to indicate she had misheard her sister's words. What? She stepped inside and critically examined Esperanza's slightly shivering form.

Fat. Mags felt a wry grin creep up her lips. Esperanza had gained weight in the last year, they all had, relishing in daily filling meals and in the energy boost given by such a welcome change in diet, but Esperanza was only fat in the sense her bones didn't show anymore and her figure was filling out.

Mags looked closer, wondering what would make her gorgeous sister feel so self-conscious. Fat was an insult that mean soft, lazy, hoarder, collaborator. Mags could do little about the people who resented their new-found wealth, but she also knew Esperanza was confident enough to recognize jealously for what it was.

Soft. Her sister wasn't weak, but while active, she wasn't fit, not compared to all the other senior students who had a physical job on the side. Mags nodded slightly. That and the fact Esperanza looked fifteen rather than thirteen would probably feed her issues, no matter all her claims about not caring about fitting in. Girls could be vicious to each other, especially now that Esperanza was beginning to attract male attention.

"So I am fat," Esperanza said in resigned tones.

"No, you're healthy," Mags replied firmly. "You're eating properly, so you're growing up faster than most of your schoolmates. Well," Mags said with a rueful smile, "maybe you could cut down on those bread slices soaked in olive oil you eat whenever you want a bite between meals, but, if it bothers you, I recently learned that Marquise passed her self-defense classes with the highest distinction."

Esperanza's eyes widened in delight. "She'd teach me?" She said eagerly. "I was beginning to think I'd have to give up on that."

"She agreed with minimal fussing, and she wants me to learn too," Mags said, rolling her eyes at the memory.

"Miss Mags, you think it's only your sister people will go for? You're in too or I'm out."

"Serious people will have guns, Marquise."

"Don't be difficult. I won't always be around to cover your perky backside."

Esperanza squealed, throwing her arms around her sister. "That's so awesome! When do we start?"

"I don't know, let's aim for next week," Mags said, grinning at the raven-haired girl's enthusiasm.

"We could use one of the empty victor's houses to practice."

"Or our own empty attic," Mags suggested with an endeared smile. "I have to go see Marquise this morning anyway, about El Cambio."

El Cambio - called The Change where ears loyal to the Capitol could hear - was the yearly ceremony during which all the old lines, cables, sheets, nets and other ropes of every ship were replaced. That single event represented half of Marlin's family sales and was the only major tradition, barring funerals, that hadn't been prohibited by the Capitol.

El Cambio had everyone in town who could swim in the frigid mid-March waters splashing in the ocean to outfit the moored ships, or simply to enjoy what was undoubtedly the single liveliest day in Creneis Town, and one everyone looked forward to.

But there was a darker side to El Cambio. In the decade Mags had lived there, never had one year gone by without the day claiming a casualty. Contests, dares and showy displays of strength and skill on this day were just as rooted in tradition, and too many underestimated the ocean, blinded by pride or thirst to prove themselves. Tomorrow the seas would be calm and the sky clear, but even calm, the ocean was quick to remind people of its indomitable power.

Months before, Marquise had piloted the motorboat that had led them to the reefs where Rio and the two from Sickleport had lain wounded despite Ajax's willingness to leave the kidnappers to drown. Only those crafts were small and maneuverable enough to patrol such crowded seas and Mags had now to convince her friend to go well beyond her job description and give up one of her few days of rest to protect the lives of the very people who treated peacekeepers as coldly as they dared.

Date: Year 10, March. Seven months after Mags' victory.

The hoarse cries of seagulls were drowned by a thousand chanting and hollering voices as people rushed to remove the old lines from the vessels, carried by the frantic joyful atmosphere which morphed hard work in festive play. Those who did not want to brave the gelid water were sorting the lines and nets on the beach and prepared the ground for the huge bonfire to be lit with those too rotten or threaded for domestic use.

"You made it," Mags said, paddling forcefully to keep blood flowing to her limbs.

Marlin's proud grin didn't erase all the tiredness on his sleep-deprived face.

"Yeah, but I thought we'd kick it, I can't even remember what waking up rested feels like," he said, yawning dramatically. "Massive orders have been coming in from the Capitol for a month, for ropes and cord, braided, plaited, ready to tie knots... The Vintmoors' got just as ransacked. If we hadn't received that extra shipment from Eight, we'd have had to postpone El Cambio. I hope we've seen the end of it." His teeth were chattering madly. "Let's get to the Fox," he said, pointing at the largest of the moored crafts, "Glynn booked us a spot to remove her sheets and a dry deck sounds glorious right now."

Mags grinned. "Sure, let's move."

Large hands grabbed her hips as she swam for the ship. She instinctively shut her mouth before being pulled underwater.

Kyle's laugh filled the air as Mags emerged, spluttering and hastily removing her sticky hair from her face.

"Sorry I'm late," he said, his eyes pointedly stopping on his girlfriend's breasts, slightly compressed in her one piece swimsuit. His smile broadened into a full appreciative grin.

Mags colored and tilted his chin back up, forcing Kyle's glittering eyes back on her face, but she glowed with fierce happiness, for this was the very man who had been thwarted by a coat mere weeks before.

Marlin cleared his throats, a wry grin on his lips. "If Mags' place is too small, Mortimer has a glorious big stuffed bed," he offered with a straight face, "I can trick him out of the house for you."

"Marlin! You're a terrible brother," Mags exclaimed, erupting into peals of laughter. She jumped into Kyle's arms and pressed her salty lips to his, beaming as he lifted her out of the water. The chill alone was not responsible for all the goosebumps on her arms. "I love you," she whispered. And she meant it, because now, it felt truly right.

Kyle's expression only made the words truer.

Mags was still awed he had accepted her apology the day after their vicious fight but, most of all, he had listened. They weren't having wild sex on tables, but Kyle was undeniably growing more comfortable with both their bodies. The young woman had never felt so beautiful.

She gladly wrapped the thick towel she was offered as she climbed onto the Swamp Fox's deck. From there, she could see the five finished houses on the edge of town and the twelve others who would be inhabited before fall. A proud smile drew itself on her lips.

"Hola," Glynn called. She was perched on the lowest mast, her naked legs swinging suggestively.

Mags grinned as they greeted her.

"Off to work, slackers," Glynn answered, throwing a pair of protective gloves to Marlin. His calloused hands were red and raw from the insane couple of weeks he had had. Mags really wondered what the Capitol needed so much rope for.

"You can't be the boss around here. They're not that crazy," Marlin shot back with a grin.

"Off to work, slackers," a burly young man with an friendly face echoed from behind them, colored marine snakes moving on his skin as he flexed his thick arms. "And it's Boss to you," he said with a smile, his voice just serious enough to have Mags decide to play along.

"You heard the bosun, come on," Glynn said, gesturing to the ropes attached to the sails,"if you're not warm enough to drop the towels in ten minutes, you're not working hard enough," she added in playful warning, starting to undo the knots on her side.

Loud bell tolls caused every man woman and child in the water and the boats to freeze.

Tall chairs had been taken out of the town's storage shed in the early morning and sharp-eyed volunteers watched out for people in danger. The lifeguards rang bells whenever they needed people to become alert to someone drowning in the vicinity.

It was the fourth toll in three hours, and there had been no serious accidents, but this time, one of the men was running with his red signal flag towards the reefs where many older children and teenagers were playing games.

Mags saw an arm and a head emerge from the water, flailing to get attention. Far from the reefs. Too far, and moving out much too fast even for a well-manned rowboat.

Panic rippled through the crowd. Dorien Gibbs. Mags heart skipped a beat as she recognized the name. The drifting boy was in Esperanza's class.

But near the reefs and the reckless children, because it was undoubtedly the most dangerous place during El Cambio, Marquise had been patiently waiting for someone to prove testosterone and sense didn't mix and wondering what Mags had possibly done to deserve having her willingly catch a cold on a lurching boat during her rest-day to save degenerate children.

The gulls' calls were loud and clear when the peacekeeper helped the exhausted boy on her boat and led him back to his friends, who now stood stiffly, guilt written all over their features as they realized how close they'd come to mourn the boy and who now feared what the blonde law enforcer would ask of them.

"My pleasure," Marquise said pointedly as an older boy rushed to help the coughing Dorien.

A youth with reddish-brown hair whistled from the water. "Thanks, Ma'am," he shouted merrily.

Marquise lifted her hand to her head in lazy salute. When Dorien, shivering and still struggling to breathe, removed the towel off his shoulders cheekily mimed diving back into the strong waters, Marquise gave him the finger and turned the boat away, causing the assembled people to erupt into gales of laughter.

Mags' grin painfully dug in her cheeks, but she couldn't seem to reduce it.

Kyle squeezed her hip with a smile of his own. "She's okay for a peacekeeper," he granted.

Mags had rarely felt so happy.

Date: Year 10, April. Eight months after Mags' victory.

"Mags, I need you to see something. Now," Ajax said, his steps striking the ground of the former desalinization factory with unnerving violence. Marquise hurried behind him, running to keep up the pace.

Mags tensed, tearing her eyes away from the scaffolding and active workers. For the Patrol Leader to come and get her himself half an hour's walk from the barracks... Ajax's disabused expression caused Mags' breath to hitch in fear.

"Look at those ledgers. Compare them with the ones your mother gave us." He said, impatiently putting his finger on the thing she was supposed to notice when she failed to see more than columns of numbers.

Mags frowned. "The numbers are bigger there."

"Genius," Ajax said mirthlessly, "unless your mother exaggerated the sums you spent, your boyfriend has been stealing."

Mags shook her head. She didn't believe it. If only because Kyle was a terrible liar and she could see when he was guilty miles away.

She said so.

The tall peacekeeper granted her a tight smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Then hurry up and investigate."

"I'll talk to him right now," Mags said, all but bolting away.

"It could be that he can't add to save his life," Marquise said with a shrug, trying to be supportive.

Mags greatly appreciated it, but, unfortunately, Kyle knew how to count.

"By asking for sums five to ten percent bigger than what's actually needed every single time?" Ajax snorted. "We should be the ones handling this. You have a day because it's you." His lips curled in contempt, "don't let his pretty face fool you."

Mags felt a shiver run up her spine. Five to ten percent every single time? The lingering giddiness from El Cambio evaporated, replaced by burrowing dread.

"Kyle, who's been keeping the ledgers for you?"

"What?" Kyle said, his frown deepening as he saw Mags winded and flushed from the desperate sprint she'd taken around town to find him.

"You do a million things for me, I really appreciate it," Mags said, the words rushing out of her mouth like a train heading for a collision. "Now I need to know who's been telling you the prices and writing in the ledgers."

They locked stares. Kyle didn't last five seconds.

"Narissa," he admitted. It was clear on his face that he was wondering why his girlfriend was so worked up. "She wanted to feel useful and I made sure she learned to do it properly. I figured it was okay."

Mags could have sworn she heard the air around her shatter. "Did she explicitly ask you not to tell me?" She whispered, blanching.

Kyle eyed her in confusion. He stopped to think and frowned. "Yes, I think. She's proud and… Is there a problem?

Little details that had been bothering Mags resurfaced.

"Do you realize your cousins wear their worst clothes every time they come to see me? And they're always hungry too despite it usually being afternoon and you not being that poor."

Kyle blushed. "Yes," he said, his lips in a tight line. "Narissa is… Listen, I tried to tell her, but she won't hear it. She's a bit of a miser and thinks she's entitled to silly things." Kyle dropped his arms in defeat. "I don't want to upset her. She's been through a lot, and I know it's very rude of her but do you really mind that she made you buy the twins a few set of clothes or give them meals?" Kyle frowned, paling slightly. "They didn't steal anything from your house, did they?"

Clothes. He thought she was throwing a fit over clothes for ten-year-olds?

"No, I don't think so," Mags said, now realizing she'd have to check, "but roughly seven percent of everything I've spent on workers in the last two months, maybe more, is in your aunt's pockets or has simply vanished."

She desperately hoped Narissa still had the money, or blood would be spilled.

Mags' temper flared when she saw Kyle looked appalled but not that surprised. "You suspected?" She said, spitting the words out as if they'd burn her.

"Hey, I didn't know," Kyle hastily said, "She's my aunt, I -"

"You," she said, jabbing a finger at his chest, "never checked when it was your job, and you know she's a gold digger, and now I have to tell Patrol Leader Ajax he was right about the discrepancies, except with a theft of that magnitude, even if the money reappears..." Mags voice trailed off as the word avox remained blocked in her throat. "Your cousins are over eight, even I won't be able to save her," she said, her lips trembling.

"You can't tell them -"

"With Marquise aware that Irvette and your aunt are more than friends? I've already been protecting her, Kyle," Mags exclaimed, searching for something she could tear at to evacuate her mounting rage.

The last of color fled Kyle's face and he stumbled. There was nothing to lean on, so he awkwardly crossed his arms. "I… I… How did Ajax see a discrepancy? I did all the accounts on the workers!"

An idiot. She was dating an idiot and she had never noticed. What did that say about her?

"Since there's also the materials and shipping ledger, and a plan of all future expenses to make sure I don't exceed what the Capitol gives me, Mama has been listing everything I spend. It's just a list, but enough to still see there are problems," Mags explained through clenched teeth.

Kyle put his face in his hands and Mags suddenly knew that the thought he had the only copy was the reason he hadn't investigated on his aunt. She could understand he would make allowances for Narissa's greed: the woman was his only family and they'd taken care of each other since the war, but this… Kyle would shatter the trust peacekeepers had in district workers, destroy all the independence Mags had acquired.

How could not upsetting his aunt be his priority? More important than his girlfriend's safety, than Creneis Town itself?

Mags' eyes misted over, because she realized the answer had been obvious since the beginning. She had just wanted to believe that it didn't matter and wouldn't get between them.

"And of course, your mother gave it to the pisscops," Kyle said, his fists clenched in distress.

"If you blame Mama, I'm going to hit you," Mags said coldly.

"I'll get you the money back," Kyle said, grasping her shoulders. "I must, I will, Mags," he promised vehemently. "Invent that she thought there was an extra tax or something and stored away the gold waiting for the Capitol to collect it. She's my aunt! I can't have her killed."

A tear escaped her eyes. She wished so badly to tell Kyle there was a way, but it was too late.

"You should have thought of that earlier," she said hoarsely. "I trusted you, Kyle. More than anyone almost, I…" Mags shivered as the fabric of her reality unraveled. "It seems I just put you in danger by giving you and Narissa power. I ruined everything. I should have stayed away from you," her voice broke as guilt choked her. If only she'd dumped less of her responsibilities on Kyle... "You'd have been okay."

"Don't be stupid, I love you. I'd never have wanted to stay away," Kyle said, pressing a kiss to her forehead as she turned her face away from him.

"Can't you fix it?" He asked, hope etched on his features.

Mags stared. Kyle had always seemed to have a glow about him, something that warmed her just by standing close. Now the young woman couldn't stop shivering. She tasted bitter ash in her mouth, and her feelings, just as strong as they had been an hour before, had morphed into a chafing rope squeezing at her heart.

Fix it.

Was this what she would always do? Cover up others' mistakes? Would more people steal because they'd know she'd make sure they'd come through unscathed?

"Get me the money. Hope there's everything," she whispered, if only to have him leave.

Betrayal tore at her, sinking its fangs deep in her chest. How could she not have seen it?

"It wasn't him," Mags told Ajax. It's still his fault, her brain shouted while her heart screamed in denial. "You said twenty-four hours, Patrol Leader?" Mags said, struggling to be polite.

The tall peacekeeper gave a minute nod. "I'll only interfere before tomorrow afternoon if you need me," he said, pity entering his dark eyes. "That's why we have vows among peacekeepers, Girl. You never know a man's mettle and loyalty until it's too late if you don't test it beforehand."

Mags nodded briskly, not caring for his lessons right now. She felt like such a fool. The fluttering in her chest that had accompanied every thought about Kyle was now wall of thorns pressing down her lungs. Every breath was torture.

Kyle hadn't meant to hurt her, but it changed nothing. He was blind to consequences, or had chosen to be. Just like with Esperanza.

She should have known.

Today she would do her best to save the life of his thieving aunt. She owed Kyle that, if only because he had made her discover that she could trust a stranger and love, because he had made her laugh hard and often enough chase away her nightmares, and because it was when she had traced the paths his freckles made on his face with her fingers that she had known she wanted to be a mother.

Mags had given Kyle a second chance but she was not fool enough to give him a third, not if it would mean having to defend her own life in front of Achlys before she had even mentored her first Games.

Wow this has turned into something more complex and long than I had imagined, but I'm loving writing every part of it. Thank you for all your feedback and support. Mags is a minor character and objectively, this story is all OCs, so I'm flattered you're all allowing me to drag you along in this ride.

One more chapter before the tenth Games.

A question for you: should Mags try to protect Narissa? I'm very interested by your opinions here, because it's a very tricky situation.

Please review^^.