Once the decision is made, it's like everything else becomes so much clearer. How I haven't noticed that Peeta is the right person for me is beyond my comprehension. Now that I have realized the truth, I don't intend to let him go. It won't be easy . . . that much is clear. But I'm willing to fight for it and I know Peeta is to.

I take Clove to visit Peeta the day after we kissed. We haven't talked about it. We don't need to. I think Peeta understands-if not with a twinge of amazement and disbelief-that I want to be with him. I want to be his girlfriend. I want to look after him just like he will look after me. It's a lot to understand without a conversation, I get that, but Peeta and I were never really platonic, were we?

Clove brings flowers. She clutches them so tight in her hands that her pale knuckles have gone bone white. The freckles on her hands stand out like a million spots on her skin. She's nervous. It's odd, I've never seen Clove nervous before. Usually she's the calm one. The one with the level head. The thought of confronting someone she has mistreated for years has gotten her riled up and anxious, worried about how Peeta will respond to her apology. I know how he will respond but when I try to convince Clove of his good nature she doesn't believe me. She doesn't think she's deserving of his forgiveness.

"You'll be fine," I insist as we reach Peeta's door. "He'll be grateful for you visiting him."

Clove shakes her head and shudders. "He's gonna hate me," she says.

"No, he won't," I reply. "Come on."

The first thing I find myself doing when I enter Peeta's room is instantly going to his bedside and kissing him. It takes him by surprise-like he hasn't accustomed himself to the idea that I want to be with him in this way-but that is only for a moment before he returns it. Honestly, if Clove weren't here, I could kiss him all day. His lips against mine ignite a fire I've never felt before.

Clove isn't alarmed by my affection towards Peeta. In fact, I see a ghost of smile. Like she expected it all along. I slide into the seat beside Peeta's bed and gesture to my best friend. "Clove wanted to visit you," I say. "She was worried about you."

"I brought lilies," Clove says, stepping forward and practically thrusting her bouquet up Peeta's nose. "I wasn't really sure what's a 'get well soon' sort of flower so I just bought what I thought looked the nicest."

"You didn't have to get anything, Clove, really," Peeta smiles, accepting the bouquet from her. "Thank you, they're lovely."

Clove blinks. She obviously expected yelling. For Peeta to scream at her about how inconsiderate it was for her to burst into his room and act like she wasn't an asshole to him. I did tell her that that wasn't going to happen but I suppose it had to happen before her eyes for her to fully understand.

"Clove also has something else to say to you," I explain, touching Peeta's hand and intertwining our fingers. I smile encouragingly at Clove, trying to ease her anxiety about this whole ordeal.

"I'm . . . sorry, I've been wrong to treat you the way I have all these years," Clove says, stumbling over her words like a drunk giraffe. "If I'd known you'd taken to heart so badly I would never have done it. I know that's not a good excuse because I clearly didn't think you'd laugh it off or think it was a joke but I didn't mean for you to get ill because of it." I'm startled by how distressed she becomes, just from admitting all this to him. Tears are glistening in her eyes and she presses the heels of her hands against them to ward it off. "I'm not a horrible person, I'm really not!"

Peeta's eyebrows are scrunched up with concern. "It's okay, Clove. I understand"-

"It's not okay though!" Clove interrupts. "How can this be okay?!" She gestures around her, at the hospital room and Peeta's bed. "Nothing about this is okay in the slightest! I am an awful person for doing this to you, Peeta. We all are! I'm so, so sorry!"

"Clove," Peeta says imploringly. His voice is so gentle that Clove's hands slide away from her eyes, curious as to what he's going to say. "You're forgiven."

Hearing those words make Clove explode. She starts to sob on the spot. I heave myself quickly off my seat and gather her into my arms. "Hey, it's alright," I say soothingly. "Didn't I tell you he'd forgive you?"

Clove winds her arms around me and squeezes tight. Relief washes over her like a wave and the crying slowly fades away. When I feel confident enough to sit back down, she turns to Peeta and says, "You, my friend, are too good for that school." She wipes her eyes and curses. "Goddamnit, I told myself I wouldn't get worked up."

"It's alright to cry, Clove," says Peeta

"Yeah but it ruins my image," she mutters.

"Still terrifying to me," Peeta grins.

Clove grins back. She straightens up and says firmly, "I'm going to look after your friends. While you're in here. Protect them from the douchebag crew and their leader Lady Muck. If they are even half of what you are then they deserve the protection. I may have had a hand in causing this but I won't allow it to happen to anyone else."

"I'll help too," I add. "I don't know, I'll beat Gale with my crutches."

"There's an image," Clove snorts. Her brown eyes bounce between myself and Peeta and our hands which are still joined together. "So are you two . . .?"

I glance at Peeta and he looks at me. "We haven't really talked about it," Peeta admits.

"We kissed but that was as far as we've went," I add.

Clove smiles knowingly and says, "Want an opinion from an objective third party with no interest in the matter whatsoever?"

I'm curious as to what she is going to say and I nod.

"I think you both would be an example to the school," Clove explains. "Show them that the food chain is bullshit. We can't be the only ones who despise it. If they see you two together, who knows who else will come out of the cracks?"

I think of Finnick and Annie who feel the need to hide from the prying eyes of the students of District High. Finnick, who relies so heavily on his popularity and can't risk allowing love to ruin that for him, could actually have a shot at expressing his true feelings. And putting the rest of the school aside, I like Peeta. I genuinely do. He's kind; caring; loving; sweet and-admittedly-hot as hell. How could I ever have hated him? How could I ever have looked upon him and felt disgust? I'll never understand.

My fingers clutch Peeta's tightly and we look at each other again. Oh those eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes. How could I ever have loathed them?

"What do you think?" Peeta asks quietly.

I brush my hair out of my face and say, "Peeta, do you want to be my homecoming date?"

Peeta's smile is so big and bright and full of happiness that I can't help laughing. "I would be honoured to," he replies.

I lean forward and hug him tight. I hear Clove laughing as well, the sound so full of glee my smile widens so much that the corners of my mouth ache. Peeta kisses the top of my head and I giggle.

Peeta Mellark is my boyfriend.

~xXx~

The next day at school, news comes in that Gale dumped Glimmer over the weekend. I'm not surprised when I hear this. It was inevitable. Gale munches through girls like a chipmunk through wood. He can't commit. Sort of. From a certain angle, the way Gale dumps a girl at the drop of a hat to return to Madge could be viewed as a form of loyalty. Mixed up loyalty but loyalty all the same.

At lunchtime, Clove and I sit with Johanna, Annie and Finch. Every time someone so much as looks at them wrong Clove shoots a look that clearly expresses, "Don't you fucking dare!" Annie and I play noughts and crosses on Finch's napkin while Johanna, Clove and Finch talk about upcoming exams and the homecoming dance.

"Little tip, Katniss," Finch says, "Peeta adores the colour orange."

"You should definitely get an orange dress!" Annie adds.

In the beginning, I had wanted to wear this short pink velvet dress that had a shiny black belt around the middle to homecoming. Except that had been when I was planning to go with Gale. Now that I am Peeta's date, I'm open to anything. And an orange dress sounds nice. Simple but unusual.

"There's a lovely orange dress in Mrs Tyler's window," Annie explains. She triumphantly draws a line through her path of X's, revealing a winning position I hadn't even noticed. "It would suit you beautifully. Especially with your skin tone, you'd look like you're on fire!"

"Mrs Tyler . . . isn't that Bonnie's mum?" asks Johanna.

"Yeah, have you never passed her store? She sews unique dresses but never makes copies so that each and every one of her customers has a different dress," Annie says.

"That sounds great, Annie," I say. "But I don't even know if Peeta will be allowed out of the hospital to even go yet."

Annie's posture weakens a little. "Yeah, I know."

"Keep the faith, at least," says Clove. "There's still hope."

A couple of the guys from the football team pass us. Gale, Cato and Finnick. They stop in front of our table. Well, Finnick doesn't realize they're stopping until Cato grabs the back of his shirt and pulls him back. Gale places his hands on the table and looms over us intimately. "Lookie here, Katniss Everdeen sitting at Loser's End. I never thought I'd see the day."

"Go suck a dick, Gale," Clove spits back.

"You too, Clove. I'm very disappointed," Gale says.

"And you know how my life's worth completely relies on your approval of me," I say sarcastically. My eyes flick to Cato and Finnick. Cato looks about ready to jump in if the need for it arises but Finnick actually hangs back, shuffling from foot to foot and staring at the floor.

"What happened, Katniss? You used to be so popular," Gale asks. "How did you fall so far so fast?"

"When you figure out how much of an asshole you've been acting, you tend to fall from grace," I answer. "Too bad you'll never realize how much of a bitch you are to Principal Snow and the system. Rather sad, really."

"You know what's sad? Your obsession with me," Gale says, standing up straight again and rolling his eyes. "Everyone knows you've been jealous of my relationship with Glimmer. You've been practically humping my leg ever since we started going out. I'm surprised you haven't made a move since we broke up. Unless you didn't know and are going to jump my bones now." He steps back, feigning fear.

I roll my eyes, exasperated with both Gale and myself. How did I ever like this douchebag? "You're not seriously going to stand there and pretend that you didn't just dump Glimmer because Madge is back in town?" I ask flatly.

Gale laughs. "As if! Madge came to me. She always comes to me. The ladies always do."

"You're just too afraid to admit that you're Madge's bitch," Clove declares.

Gale scowls. "If anything, she is my bitch!" he shouts back.

Johanna's eyes flash dangerously and suddenly Gale is covered in orange juice. Johanna clutches her empty up angrily and shouts, "Get out of my sight you prick munching bag of piss before I really lose my temper!" Finch gently grips Johanna's arm, trying to pull her back down to sit before she does something stupid.

"Have a go if you think you're hard enough!" Gale yells back.

Johanna wrenches her arm out of Finch's hold and has just slapped one foot up onto the canteen table when Madge appears. The entire cafeteria had fallen silent at the possibility for a brawl and Madge wedges her way through the spectators easily. Her blue eyes are watery and she tries to simply push past Gale but he doesn't let her.

"Hey, baby," he says, grabbing her arm and pulling her against him, "how are you?"

Madge pushes herself away, face scrunched up with rage. "Don't you 'baby' me!" she screams at him. If the cafeteria wasn't silent before, it definitely was now. Gale is so taken aback by her outrage that he lets go of her and steps back. "How fucking dare you talk about me like that! I'm sick of you treating me like shit, Gale Hawthorne, when I know I deserve more! My parents are dying of cancer and all you can do when I go away is fuck other girls? Really? You're a sick, sick son of a bitch Gale and I never want to see you again!"

With that she pushes Gale into Cato and marches out of the room, kicking a stool over angrily along the way. The silence that follows is almost deafening. Everyone gapes at Gale, who's flushed with a mixture of embarrassment and anger. He turns to me and smirks, "Looks like I'm free for the dance."

I'm so fucked off by him in this moment that I chuck my entire tray of lunch at him. "Go fuck yourself," I hiss at him.

"Looks like someone is taking a leaf out of Mellark's books and has decided to skip lunch," Cato says, rolling his eyes like the whole situation is boring him.

My eyes fall on Cato and it's like in that instant, in those ten seconds it took for Cato to utter those words, I'm given a shot of adrenalin. I launch myself across our table and rake my nails down Cato's face. He stumbles backwards in shock as I clamour onto his back, cast unbalancing me but not by much, and pull at his hair like my life depends on it.

"Don't you fucking dare talk about Peeta again!" I roar at him.

"Someone get this psychotic bitch off me!" Cato yells, shaking himself wildly from side to side to get me off.

Gale grabs me and pulls me off of Cato. I know it's him because his arms are covered in tuna mayo. I lash out and scream until he throws me down against the table. Clove is over the table in an instant to help me up. My leg aches horribly but I know it will be fine. As soon as Cato glares at me, wiping the blood from a cut above his brow, I spit in his face.

"If you talk about my boyfriend like that again, I will put you in a cast just like mine," I hiss.

And I mean it.

Nobody will ever insult Peeta's insecurities again. Not while I live and breathe.

I'm called to Principal Snow's office not long after I attacked Cato. There was really only time for the girls and myself to leave the cafeteria and find Madge before Snow's secretary came looking for me. I saw it coming. It wouldn't have taken long for word to have reached Snow. I'm not an idiot. However, if he thinks that I'm going to cooperate with him then he's fooling himself. Whatever he has to say, I don't want to hear it.

I sit in front of Snow with my bad leg propped up on a small green stool. I've fucked it again, I can feel it. At my next appointment the doctor will tell me that I've wrecked my leg and I'll never walk again. Okay, maybe I'm being overdramatic, but right now it hurts like a bitch. I fold my arms and stare at Snow defiantly.

"Katniss," Snow sighs, "how far you have fallen."

I don't answer.

"Are you going to tell me what happened between Cato and yourself or do I have to force it from you?"

I quirk my eyebrow at Snow, daring him to try. Typical of him to only include Cato because he was directly involved in the dispute. Snow left out Gale-even though he basically ignited the whole situation-just to protect his stupid football team and their winning streak. All of this just in the name of making sure the school looked good.

"Don't be difficult, Katniss," scolds Snow, "just tell me what happened."

"Cato made an inappropriate comment about Peeta's illness," I say. "What did you expect me to do?"

"Nobody knows about Peeta's condition," Snow says patiently. "They only know that he went into cardiac arrest. No student besides yourself know the true extent of his illness. Don't lie to me, Katniss, I don't appreciate it."

"There's many things I don't appreciate," I throw back. "Like your complete support of the food chain idea that has smashed this school to pieces. Or the fact that you value the football team over everyone else. Or that you second handedly supported those who bullied Peeta and his friends. Doesn't mean you're not going to change, does it?"

Snow stares at me, not at all happy with what I have said. I glare back at him, deciding that if it was the wrong decision then I'm going to go through with it. Snow lifts his pen and pulls a slip out of a top drawer in his chest. He writes something down and hands the slip to me. I look at the piece of paper with a frown.

"What's that?"

"Katniss, you are hereby suspended from this school for the next fortnight. If you set foot on the premises before this time is up then you will be expelled. Do you understand this?" Snow says slowly and deliberately.

I stare at him, waiting for the punchline. His snake like eyes show no sign of a lie. "What?!" I explode. "You can't be serious!"

"I'm deadly serious. Your blatant disrespect for your fellow classmates is a disgrace that I can't ignore any longer," says Snow. He grabs my hand and slaps the slip into it. "Now get out of my office and immediately leave the school grounds."

"What about homecoming?" I ask.

A flicker of a smile crosses Snow's face. "What about homecoming?" he replies.

"I can still go, right?"

"Where does homecoming take place?"

"In the school."

"Well then what do you think?"

It's so surreal I almost don't believe him. I'm still waiting for the joke. He's bound to be kidding! He just can't tell me I can't go to homecoming! What about Gale and Cato and Glimmer?! Where's their comeuppance? Why am I being the one punished when I was the one being provoked?! I clench my hands into fists and stumble to my feet. You know what? This is probably for the better. If the school is corrupt, what would make their homecoming dance any different?

"I wouldn't want to ruin your shitty dance with my presence anyway," I snap.

I can feel Snow's grin boring into the back of my head as I leave. Something tells me he isn't going to grieve my absence.

~xXx~

"Katniss, what's wrong?"

The way Peeta just has to look at me to know that there's something wrong with me is so incredibly sweet I wish I was in the mood to feel happy about it. Instead, as soon as Peeta's eyes reach my face and his face falls with concern, I cover my eyes so he doesn't see the tears well up in them. When I told my mum about the suspension, I could see that she was disappointed in me. She insisted that she wasn't but she's a better doctor than she is a liar. There would have been a time where I wouldn't care about what my mum had thought about me but now it's different. I don't want her to be disappointed me. I want her to be proud.

It's this, more than anything, that upsets me.

"I'm sorry," I say, hating how my voice wavers. "I've messed up."

"Katniss, what's happened?" Peeta asks with worry in his voice. I limp over to his bed and sit down in my usual place. Peeta takes my hands in his. His grip isn't strong but the feeling of his frail hands over mine puts me at ease. "What is it? Tell me."

"I've been suspended," I whisper.

Peeta touches my face and brushes a tear away. "What happened?" he says gently.

"I attacked Cato," I murmur shamefully.

"Oh Katniss, why did you do that?" asks Peeta. He's edged closer to me and pulled me close, so my head rests against his shoulder. His bones dig into my cheek but I don't care. I press myself closer and try to hide my ashamed face.

"He made fun of you," I explain. "I know you would want me to ignore him, I do. And I've tried but Gale was goading me and I really wasn't in the mood."

"How did you attack him? Katniss, you have a broken leg," Peeta frowns.

"He was standing pretty close and I launched myself at him," I answer.

Peeta sighs and I hear his breath rattling in his chest. He strokes my hair absentmindedly. I'm surprised by how comforting this feels and I close my eyes to try to focus on that instead of the mess in which my life has become. "You have to try to ignore them. I know it's hard but it's the way life has to be sometimes," Peeta says gently.

"I'm not like you," I reply. "I don't have tons of patience."

"When you're back in school, try to ignore them. Don't even speak to them when they try to push you," Peeta tells me. "They'll lose interest, I promise."

"You don't get it Peeta," I say, pulling back to look at him. "It's fine when they're jibing at me, I can take that. I can't do it when it's you they're making fun of. It's not fair, especially when you're not there to defend yourself."

Peeta pushes my hair back from my eyes and says, "Don't worry about me, Katniss. You won't be doing me any favours by risking your education just to defend me. It's alright. I've been dealing with this for a very long time now. I can deal with it for a couple of months longer."

I shake my head. "It's not fair," I conclude.

"Katniss, you've improved my life hugely just by changing your ways and letting me in," Peeta says. "I can't ask for any more than that from you. Please. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if you got expelled just because Cato makes an offhand comment."

"How did he know?" I press. "Cato shouldn't know about your anorexia."

Peeta chews on his bottom lip. "Cato knows because he hit on me once," he explains. "At Snow Mansion. I was babysitting Delly again and he must have been drunk. And drunk Cato isn't really a good Cato to be around. I knew he wasn't genuine-I mean, come on-did he really think I was going to let him say yes when he wasn't offering a relationship, just a quick fuck?"

"You told me you didn't have anything to do with Cato," I say.

"Well, yeah, when I hardly knew you," Peeta explains. "Anyway, it wasn't anything big. I just said no because Cato said that if I said yes I wasn't allowed to tell anyone and anyway he was behaving like a bit of a douche."

"So how did he find out about your anorexia?"

"He . . . was a bit forceful." Peeta was chewing his lip so badly that blood was beginning appear and slid down his chin. I wipe it away with my thumb and order him to stop before he hurts himself. "It doesn't matter. I told him in school that if he told anyone that I wasn't eating then I'd tell everyone that he propositioned me."

God, Cato is so full of himself. Even when he's drunk he thinks everyone will fall to his feet.

"It wasn't a good night on a whole anyway because it was the same night I found out that Thom was cheating on me with Delly," Peeta sighs.

I suddenly remember what Glimmer had said about Delly and Peeta's friendship. She said it ended after what happened at Snow Mansion. Snow's nephew threw a party at the mansion when Snow himself was out of town. It was apparently legendary. It is still referred to as the most banging party in District High history. I wasn't there. Prim had a piano recital and no matter how much of a bitch I had become when dad died, Prim always came first.

So that was what Glimmer meant. Peeta had been dumped by Thom at that party because he was cheating on him with Delly anyway.

"I'll never do that to you," I say. "Thom's an idiot."

"It doesn't matter, honestly. It was years ago," says Peeta. "I've been talking to the therapist and he thinks that the party at Snow's mansion may be the root of my . . . harming issue."

The thought makes me scowl. I straighten up and say, "If it is then I'll find Thom and personally beat him with my crutches."

Peeta laughs. "That's not necessary, really."

Seeing his smile makes guilt flood me as I remember what else I have to say to him. "Peeta," I say, threading our fingers together, "there's something else." Immediately, I feel him tense. "No, it's not anything bad. Well, I suppose it could be viewed as bad. But it's not you, it's me. Not in that way! But . . . okay, I'm just going to come out with it."

Peeta watches me with worry. I want to smile to encourage him but I can't bring myself to do it.

"I have to miss homecoming. I'm not allowed on the premises at all," I blurt out.

Peeta's eyes soften. "Oh Katniss, I'm so sorry," he says. "I know how important homecoming was to you. Are you alright?"

I shrug miserably. "There's nothing I can do. Snow's word is final, you know? I should have seen it coming. I've been treading on thin ice with him for a while now." I pick at my cast with my spare hand, wishing that I hadn't had that stupid accident at all. "I was so stupid to think that Snow would ever treat us fairly! Who was I fooling? The whole school is just a joke! A big, fat stinking joke!"

Peeta tips my chin up with his knuckle, making me look him in the eyes. "I want to tell you something," he says.

I cock my head and frown. "What?"

"I was going to tell you as soon as you came in but you were upset and I got worried," Peeta explains.

Now it's my turn to be worried. What is he going to say? Is he going to break up with me? Is he going to tell me that he's only got six months to live? That he can never eat again? I clutch Peeta's hands tight, as if holding him as hard as I can will somehow lessen the bad news that is inevitable to come.

"The week after next, my doctor wants me to try to feed myself on my own. See how it goes in a regular, every day environment. Gauge if I can cope," says Peeta. He smiles in a way that displays all his teeth, so bright I'm almost blinded. "I'm going home."

I stare. I don't know what to say. "Are you better? Are you cured?" I finally find the ability to say.

"No," Peeta admits. "However, since I've been cooperating so well and eating what I'm given, they trust me to try to continue at home. Albeit, I have to follow a strict diet plan and if I divert from it even a little bit I'll be back in here faster than I can blink. My dad has spoken with my doctor and they've agreed that I'm strong enough to do this myself. I still have to visit my therapist twice a week but I can go back to school, too."

"Peeta, that's amazing!" All previous bereavements are forgotten and I fling myself at Peeta, wrapping my arms around his neck and hugging him. I feel his breath against my neck and I move our faces closer, my lips hovering just a bit above his so that our breaths mingle together in hot puffs. "I'm going to kiss you now, okay?"

Peeta nods minutely, still a bit abashed about that sort of thing. I connect our lips and my heart flips with excitement. It's soft at first. Peck after peck that soon lingers longer. I've pulled myself up onto the edge of Peeta's bed so we're closer and I touch his face gently before trying to deepen it.

Except Peeta pulls away. I flush with embarrassment. "I'm sorry, was that too fast?" I quickly blurt out.

"No, I want to do this with you . . . trust me, I really do," Peeta replies just as quick as me. "I just . . . I've never done it. I don't know where to go from here."

"Sorry, I should have been more sensitive about that," I say, feeling ashamed. "I should be trying to make this easier for you than just jumping you all the time." I scratch my head shamefully. "I seem to be making a habit of that."

Peeta chuckles. "You do, don't you?" he says. His cheeks turn pink with his own embarrassment. "Honestly, it's my fault. I'm a teenage boy, I'm supposed to know how to do this sort of thing. I guess I've just been so caught up with the . . . the anorexia that I haven't had a chance to do that sort of thing." He frowns. "Maybe I should have just done it with Cato. At least I wouldn't be a kissing virgin then."

I shake my head firmly. "No," I say. "That's what I did. I jumped into bed with the first person who showed interest. And you know what? I regret it still to this day. Now that I'm with you-someone who I know actually cares about me-I wish I had just pushed Marvel away that night. I wish I'd pushed everyone away who I've ever slept with. Because honestly? I wish you were my first kiss just like I was yours."

"It doesn't have to be your first kiss," Peeta tells me. He looks sheepish and won't meet my eye as he says, "It could be the first kiss that matters, though."

I exhale and smile. "Of course." I peck his lips again and say, "We don't have to deepen anything until you feel you're ready. Besides, it'd be nice to take things a bit slower for once."

Peeta looks relieved that I haven't ran for the hills upon hearing how he's a fumbling virgin even when it comes to kissing. I kiss him softly one final time and let our foreheads press together. His eyelashes tickle my face and I giggle. "I'm really glad I have you, Katniss," Peeta whispers.

"The feeling is mutual," I whisper back.

We spend the rest of the visit just enjoying each other's company. It's nice this way. I've never done a relationship like this before but it's much better than jumping into bed with every guy I'm with. Besides, Peeta would never have done that. Sure, I'd like to think we'll get there some day but I'll have to prove myself worthy of doing such a thing with him. Peeta won't settle for cheap sex. The sort of quickies I've been having my entire life. He'll want to make love with someone he deeply cares about. Someone he loves.

And I'm more than willing to earn that love.

A/N: There are a couple more chapters planned for this story however there will be a sequel. It will be called 'Broken Winged Birds Who Cannot Fly' and will pick up where this leaves off :)