Hey guys! Omg I haven't updated for like 2 weeks or something :O i'm SO sorry! School…UGHHH! Anyway please keep reviewing and tell me what you think/how to improve the story (:

Chapter 42

iWant you to remember

~ * Sam * ~

Marissa wraps her arm around me and strokes my back. We walk into Freddie's room. Just seeing him lie there connected to all these machines and unconscious makes me tear up again. I sniff and wipe away my tears, be strong Sam, be strong!

I sit down on the edge of Freddie's bed and Marissa sits down on the chair next to it. I take Freddie's hand in mine and look down at it, I can't hold back the tears streaming out of my eyes anymore, it's just too much. Why did he have to end up in the hospital!? Why!?

My tears fall down on Freddie's hand and I wipe them away with my thumb quickly, crying softly. ''Oh baby…why are you here? Why!? Why do you have to be such a good guy and safe everyone?...''

Marissa strokes my back softly. ''You know how he is Sam, always putting other people's happiness and safety above his own…'' She bites her lip to hold back her tears and I nod, sniffing.

''I know…''

I look at Freddie. ''Please wake up baby…please…we need you so much…I need you!'' The tears roll down my cheek slowly. I've never been this emotional and scared over someone…

I still can't believe what the doctor just told us…Freddie's gonna make it…I'm sure! The moment I heard that I literally jumped inside, I felt SO happy! But then the second part came… I can't believe Freddie might have memory loss…and maybe….maybe it's permanent! God I can't think of that…my life would be over, everything would be crushed!...

Marissa shoves her chair closer to Freddie's bed and holds his other hand, she bites her lip. ''Freddie…please wake up…sweetie… you have to wake up, you've slept for long enough…''

It breaks my heart to see Marissa like this. I see the same pain in my eyes as the pain I'm feeling inside of myself, just in a different way, a motherly way, but definitely just as much pain... I bite my lip.

I look at Marissa with a scared look in my eyes. ''M-Marissa…what if he…what if he wakes up but…but doesn't remember us?...''

Marissa gulps and bites her lip. ''If that happens…then…I'm sure it won't be permanent, he would never forget about us…he would never forget about you! You're his wife!...''

I nod. ''And you're his mom…he would never forget about you either…''

Marissa nods, giving me a slight forced smile. We're both trying to keep each other positive, but we're both just as scared…cause the chance he has permanent memory loss is big…really big…

I put my head in my hands and take deep breaths. This is horrible, this is so so so horrible! Marissa wraps her arms around me and hugs me close to her, a few tears rolling down her face slowly.

''i-it's gonna be okay Sam…he's gonna be completely okay…'' she bites her lip and strokes my hair softly.

I rest my head on her shoulder and cry, shaking slightly. I feel cold, sick, my body's shocking. I feel extremely tired but I can't fall asleep, Freddie might wake up!... Marissa hugs me a little tighter, trying to comfort me and help me stop shaking and shocking. ''Shh…please calm down sweetheart…he's not gonna wake up earlier because of this…''

She's right… As hard as I try, I can't stop shaking, I can't stop shocking and I feel sicker by the minute, I feel my forehead heating up…gosh this isn't good… I've never felt this combination of emotions and feeling ill… God I feel like I'm gonna throw up any minute…

Marissa looks at me slightly worried. ''You don't look good sweetie…you want me to get you something? Some water? A wet towel?'' She strokes my hair.

Marissa's so sweet, and caring, I never thought I'd say this but she's basically the best mom ever… I shake my head. ''Just stay here…please…'' I bite my lip and look at her.

She nods. ''Of course.''

I grab my forehead and breath heavily. ''I-I think I'm gonna throw up…''

Marissa quickly grabs a small bin and hands it to me. I bend over and vomit into it…ugh I hate this so much… Marissa holds back my hair and strokes my back. ''It's okay, I'm here…I'm here…''

Nobody's ever said or done that to me while I felt this sick. I love Marissa…she's amazing. I lean back and wipe my mouth. ''Urh…''

Marissa stands up. ''I'm gonna get you a glass of water okay, stay here.'' I nod and she walks away quickly.

After a few minutes she rushes back in and hands me a peppermint and a glass of water. I smile slightly at her. ''Thanks..''

''No problem.'' She rubs my back softly again.

I drink the water and put the peppermint in my mouth. I shiver. I feel so sick ugh. I wouldn't mind feeling like this every day if I just knew Freddie would wake up and remember everyone and everything though…but unfortunately it doesn't work like that…

Marissa puts a blanket over me and strokes my hair. ''Get some sleep Sam…''

I shake my head, shivering. ''n-no…I have to be awake when he wakes up!''

''I promise I'll wake you up.''

I sigh. I don't wanna go to sleep but I feel so tired and sick that I can't stop my eyes from dropping. Marissa kisses the top of my head and I slowly drift off to sleep.

After about 2 hours I hear some mumbling and open my eyes slowly, rubbing my eyes. I look over at Freddie and…OH MY GOD, he's waking up!

I lean over and take his hand in mine. I look over my shoulder to see Marissa asleep in her chair. I say her name and pat her knee and shoulder. ''Marissa! Marissa he's waking up!''

She wakes up slowly and looks at me before looking at Freddie and lightning up, she leans over too and takes his other hand in hers.

I stroke his hand with my thumb. ''Freddie…can you hear me? Baby?''

I bite my lip and I feel Freddie squeezing my hand softly and mumbling something I can't really hear.

Marissa strokes his hand too. ''Freddie, wake up honey, please…''

After a few minutes Freddie slowly opens his eyes slightly. I smile at him. Oh my god, he's really waking up!

''Hey…'' I smile slightly as I squeeze Freddie's hand softly.

Freddie opens his eyes a little more and looks at me and Marissa. ''W-where am…I?...''

I bite my lip and stroke his hand. ''You're in the hospital baby…''

''You got hit by a car…'' Marissa adds and she bites her lip too.

Freddie doesn't react and looks around in slight confusion. Oh gosh this is not good…I think…oh my god…

Marissa looks at me and bites her lip. ''I should probably get the doctor…I'll be right back.''

I nod and look at Freddie. ''Freddie…do you remember anything that happened?''

Freddie looks at me for a few seconds and then shakes his head slowly, grabbing his head. He tries to sit up but I push him back gently. ''Lie down baby, I don't think you should sit up…''

After a few minutes Marissa walks back in with the doctor and he smiles slightly. He looks at Freddie.

''Hello Freddie…''

The doctor looks at us. ''How long has he been awake for?''

''Erm about 5 minutes…'' I say.

''Has he said anything yet?''

I shake my head, biting my lip. ''Not really…he just weakly asked where he is and I just asked him if he remembered what happened and he shook his head…'' I bite my lip hard. Fuck, he doesn't remember what happened…memory loss…oh god…oh god oh god oh god oh god…

The doctor walks over to the bed and I stand up to make room for him. He smiles at Freddie. ''Hello Freddie, as you probably heard you're in the hospital…I'm your doctor. Do you have any idea why you're here?''

Freddie shakes his head slowly. ''n-no…what…w-what happened?...''

The doctor starts explaining. ''You were crossing a road at your school and you tried to safe a little kid from getting hit by a car…well you did…but you got hit by the car yourself… we gave you a huge brain surgery.''

Freddie looks at the doctor slightly confused. ''I…did I…oh…'' Freddie grabs his head. ''m-my head hurts… a lot…''

The doctor nods. ''that's a very common thing after this brain surgery. Your head will feel better in a few days. We'll give you medication to ease the pain a little till then.''

Freddie rubs his head and nods. ''o-okay…''

The doctor talks to Freddie some more and Marissa turns to me. ''How are you feeling sweetie? A little better?''

I nod. ''Yeah I don't feel as sick as I did before anymore…thank you so much for taking care of me…you're the best.''

Marissa smiles slightly at me. ''No problem. I hope you haven't caught some sort of flue or something.''

I shake my head. ''It's probably just fear and stress…'' I bite my lip as I glance over at Freddie.

Marissa bites her lip too and nods. ''yeah… I just really hope he remembers us…''

I nod. ''He doesn't remember what happened… that's not a good sign…'' I bite my lip and look at Marissa scared.

Marissa glances over at Freddie. ''We have to keep hope okay…maybe he does have memory loss…but it isn't permanent…it just can't be…''

I bite my lip harder and nod. ''You're right…'' I hug Marissa. ''I'm so glad we get along so good now…I wouldn't have gotten through the night without you…thank you so much…''

''Me too, no need to thank me.'' She hugs me back and rubs my back softly. I take a deep breath and pull back before looking at Freddie. Marissa and I walk back over to the bed when the doctor gestures us to come back.

The doctor steps close to us and talks quietly so Freddie doesn't hear what we're saying. He looks at us seriously. ''Alright Freddie doesn't remember what happened…he has no idea… so that means that there does is memory loss, I couldn't really figure out of how long ago… you guys should figure that out by asking him some questions…''

Marissa and I look at each other and gulp I look back at the doctor and nod. ''o-okay…''

The doctor puts a hand on my shoulder. ''Try not to worry too much though okay, his memory can come back any time… it's completely not sure yet if the memory loss is permanent or not…''

I nod…''yeah…okay…'' This is so terrible. Now Freddie woke up, but he has no idea what happened…he has memory loss and it could be freaking permanent! There's such a big chance he won't remember me…that he won't remember us… that can't be true…it just can't…positive Sam, be positive!

The doctor continues. ''I'll be back in a few minutes to check on him. Please keep talking to him and try to figure out how big his memory loss is…and don't worry too much…'' The doctor smiles slightly at me and Marissa and then walks away.

I sit back on the edge of Freddie's bed and take his hand in mine again. I look at Marissa and take a deep breath before looking into Freddie's eyes.

I bite my lip hard. ''Baby…do you remember who we are?...''

Freddie looks at me and Marissa carefully and then shakes his head slowly. ''N-no…are you…nurses?''

I gasp and look at Marissa in pure fear, I can see that she's trying to be the adult one and keep positive but there's the same fear in her eyes.

This can't be true…it can NOT be true…my life is getting CRUSHED!...