Dearest Father,

I hate being at Uncle Gamlen's. If I haven't said it enough, well there it is again. Anders says that we're better off there instead of in the refugee camps, but sometimes I wonder. I try to avoid it as much as possible; between the smell and Mothers sad eyes it's a bit much. I've started taking Talyn out with us as well; even the dog hates it there. A quick stop to check on some letters that came for me, shaken for coin by Gamlen Carver informed me, and we were off on a new job.

Athenril pointed me in the direction of a dwarf named Anso that needed my assistance. At first I turned him down when I found out what the job was: retrieving stolen lyrium that was meant for the templars. Carver hates the attention we've been getting lately, so I tried to make him happy by refusing the dwarfs offer.

Varric convinced me otherwise. Either he really felt the need to help his fellow dwarf, or he just wanted his share of the coin. I don't know which, but he was right; we need to fund the expedition. Carver protested as usual, so he stormed off back to Gamlen's. Since we were headed to the alienage anyway, I picked up Merrill and off we went.

The whole thing was a trap, some elaborate hoax to lure out some slavers from Tevinter. They were after an elf with some unique abilities. And let me tell you Father, I don't think I have been this angry in a long time!

This elf, Fenris, sets us up to walk into this trap. Rips out a mans heart right in front of me, spouts off some lame apology, and then dares to ask for my help! He claims he would've asked for my help personally if he knew about me sooner. That is supposed to make it alright then, almost getting me and my friends killed?

But I agree to help him, because I'm a sucker for a sad story, and his is sad. I also agreed because it meant ridding Kirkwall of more slavers; can't go wrong there.

Merrill didn't take the ambush very well. She seemed terrified that the slavers could enter the alienage like that in such force; living there and being an elf it was a bit overwhelming for her. So she went back home and I retreated back to Gamlen's to convince Carver to come out with us. He was fine with it once he realized we weren't dealing with templars.

So we go to this decrepit mansion in Hightown, we kill about thirty shades that seemed to be protecting the place, but never find this Danarius that Fenris was seeking. We remain behind to collect anything of value we can discover in the various chests and then head out. When we round the corner from the mansion, Fenris is there waiting for us. To thank us? No, not at all. He's waiting to confront me on being a mage!

He has the nerve, the nerve!, to tell me he's going to watch me closely. And what, does he plan on killing me if I do something he doesn't like? Will he rip my heart out as well? Carver stood up for me though; he warned Fenris that if he had a problem with me, he'd have to take it up with Carver. I have to admit I was a little teary over that. Carver has never stuck up for me before. Maybe my efforts are paying off.

My anger aside at being lied to and then accused of not being able to control myself and my magic, I accepted Fenris' offer to assist us in future jobs. I think it was because of something he said when we initially met him. "There comes a time when you must stop running, when you turn and face the tiger." I have thought about this statement for most of the day. I know he's looking to face his former master, and I commend him for it. But it also makes me wonder if it's time for me to follow in his bravery?

You know the tiger at my back Father. Do you think I'm ready to face it?

"So this master of yours wants his markings back, skin and all?" Carver followed his sister up the steps of Hightown, Fenris by his side.

"That is what his hunters told me," Fenris replied, "unwillingly of course."

Carver was sure the hunters didn't live long after that confession. "So why not cover them up, your markings? Wouldn't that make you harder to find?"

"Let them come," Fenris challenged as if they were listening. "I am not one to hide. Unlike yourself."

"What do you mean," Carver asked defensively. "I am not hiding. What do I have to hide from?"

Fenris smirked, nodding towards Hawke. "You think I don't notice how you hide from the templars even though it is not you who is the mage?"

"Wanting to protect my sister is different," Carver explained. "It's not hiding so much as staying out their way."

They followed Hawke through the market and up the stairs, then around the corner to the Chantry. Varric suggested Hawke check out the Chanter's board to find some work. Behind her, Carver and Fenris continued their discussion.

"You've really never thought of hiding from those hunters," Carver pushed further.

Fenris sighed in frustration at his questions. "To what end?"

"So you could, I don't know, have a life?"

Fenris laughed, enough that Hawke turned, not believing the sound coming from the normally broody elf. "What life do you have," Fenris asked of Carver. "There are no hunters after you at all."

Carver seemed taken aback by his statement. "I have a life," he responded to Fenris.

"One that you complain about," Fenris reminded him. "We are not always free to do as we wish, as you should well know given who your sister is. Or what she is I should say."

Carver didn't hear the dig at his sister, still mulling over the accusation from earlier. "I do have a life," he said again, as if saying it would make it true.

"Then I stand corrected," Fenris conceded as Hawke quietly smiled to herself. Fenris may despise her for who she is, but Hawke couldn't help herself but enjoy his verbal assault on her brother. He had a point though; Carver needed to get a life, and one that didn't revolve around her. She began to wonder exactly what her brothers future may hold.