Alone at night in Lowtown. Not the safest place to be, but Hawke needed some air. Carver was in his room sharpening his blade; the dull sound of steel dragging across the stone unnerved her. And then there was Leandra; in the room Hawke shared with her, staring at the recently acquired betrothal picture and crying softly. The two sounds combined nearly spun Hawke into utter depression, so she retreated to the stairs outside the hovel to write.

The shuffling of feet disturbed her and she looked down at her uncle. Another night of drink; Hawke wondered where the man got the coin since he was always claiming he was broke. "I thought the Rose was done serving you Uncle," Hawke couldn't help but mock the filthy man as he staggered.

Gamlen held on to the railing to steady himself. "The streets aren't safe at night girl, you shouldn't be out here alone."

Hawke shrugged. "I didn't know you cared Uncle."

He moved up the stairs one step at a time, his grip on the railing constant so he didn't fall. When he approached the top steps where Hawke was sitting, he stopped to stare at Hawke. It was an uncomfortable few minutes for her as his watery bloodshot eyes bore down on her, and Hawke shifted to the left to allow him to pass.

"Goodnight Uncle," she offered in the hopes that he would continue on.

Gamlen grunted something as he completed his climb, turning sideways to get passed her on the top step. His crotch was very near her face, and Hawke couldn't help but notice the large bulge in his pants. She turned away quickly but then she felt that bulge on her shoulder, pressing against her. Hawke held her breath, suddenly overwhelmed by the awkwardness of his presence and the fact that they were alone.

"Hawke?" The sound of Varric's voice seemed to come from the Maker himself as Hawke leapt up from where she was seated and flew down the stairs, nearly causing Gamlen to fall offbalance.

"Varric! Hey, ready to go?" Hawke asked, flushed from the pounding heart in her chest.

Varric looked up towards Gamlen who was stumbling into the front door of his hovel. "You okay Hawke?" the dwarf asked, his sincere tone a surprise from his normal stoic one.

She watched as her uncle disappeared into his home. "Yeah," Hawke told him as they began to walk to the Hanged Man. "Gamlen's just had too many as usual," she said brushing it off.

"Here if you need me Hawke," Varric said sternly, taking a moment to look back and make sure Gamlen wasn't around. "Bianca too."

Dearest Father,

It seems like every time I go to visit Aveline, she already knows what I have been up to and comments on who I have been spending my time with. I would only ever tell you this Father, but it's annoying how she is always in my business. I already have a mother, albeit not the greatest in Thedas, but yet here's Aveline, telling me to watch out for Bartrand. She says she has been keeping an eye on me…funny, I don't remember her ever visiting Uncle Gamlen's to see how I was. Don't claim to be a friend and then only come to me when you need something!

So it shouldn't surprise you when I went to see her that she wanted something from me. Apparently there have been some ambushes along the coast and rumor to be another on the trade route up in Sundermount. We went to check it out (and honestly I had no clue that Kirkwall had guards in the area…I thought they only patrolled the city!). Sure enough Aveline's information was correct, there was an ambush waiting for us. More blood on my hands; bad guys sure but I am still not used to my magic being used to take a man's life.

Aveline made it sound like we would be heroes when we got back and reported to her boss. Remember that time you caught me reading your grimoire? That's how loud Aveline's Captain got when she told him what we did. He was certainly the opposite of happy! She was redder than her hair when she came out of his office, and determined to find out what he was hiding.

Captain Jeven is apparently a bad bad man. He was sending out coin and information to the Viscounts enemies through poor unsuspecting guards. One of them almost got seriously hurt when we found him and rescued him. I think his name was Daniel? Anders patched him up and he was fine. Aveline turned in the evidence we found and the Captain lost his job, and somehow Aveline ended up the new Captain! Maker she's a lucky bitch. Sorry, language, I know. You couldn't pay me enough to run the guard, or any other group in this crazy city.

Now for the heart of this letter Father. Aveline and I had a long talk about her husband Wesley. I still can't think about him for too long; if I do all I see is his face, darkspawn corruption settling in, and his dagger in my hands pushing into him. I wonder when those nightmares will stop.

Anyway, Aveline admitted that she blamed me for his death. Even though she understood it was necessary, she was angry with me. I guess that explains why she claimed she would be by our side for the last year and then disappeared after two months. She said it was too painful to see me every day, because I was a reminder of Wesley. I don't know how that feels so I can't judge her, but I understand it. If I can't forget that day how can she? Aveline says she is fine though; said, "pining like a child serves no one." She's tougher than I am I guess. Here I am still writing to you after all these years. I guess that makes me a child.

We touched on another topic, something I never knew about her before. Aveline doesn't believe in the Maker. Well, she doesn't not believe in him either…she seems confused, but not willing to discuss it further. I have to thank you, that you and Mother didn't force me to believe either way, and that you let me find my way to the Maker on my own. I still wonder about Him every day, but there has to be something bigger to look up to. Otherwise what's the point in living?

I want to see you and Bethany again. If I don't have that to hold on to, then I have nothing.

Oh and Father? Gamlen creeps me out. If there's a way for you to speed up the process of us getting out of his home I would appreciate it.