Dearest Father,

When we ran into the sister in Lowtown I had no idea she would want me to aid in helping a Qunari escape; a Qunari mage at that. It seems the more assistance I try to offer this city, the more I get dragged into things that make me face ghosts from the past. I had no plans on assisting the woman when she said it involved the Qunari, but when I saw him...Father I nearly fell to the floor. Their mages are bound; collared with their mouths sewn shut! I have seen and felt first hand how brutal they can be, but I had never been witness to this!

The sister, Petrice, explained to me that some of the Qunari have deserted and are hunted by their own. I saw this with the Tal Vashoth, but they didn't seem any better than those they deserted from. In any form that race is harsh, cruel and uncaring, and I can't possibly believe there is good in any of them.

Petrice believed though that helping this mage escape could help others see the Qunari for what they are. If he were free, he could live as an example of what they would do to their own. Preach to someone else Sister, I know what they are like. But I agreed with her; no one will realize the true danger they pose until someone they love has been killed by their hand. When she asked me if I would ever want to be restricted like he was, my skin crawled at the thought.

So I agreed to help. We escorted the Qunari mage through the underground to get him out of the city. Some thugs tried to stop us, but our mage friend helped us get through them. Frustrating not to know what he was thinking at that moment; grunts and groans don't exactly equal normal conversation. I wondered if he was really assisting us because he was following us; a sort of blind instinct. Ever talk to a brick wall? It was about the same.

When we got out of the city there was at least a dozen Qunari waiting for us. We had been setup, a trap that Petrice would later explain could've shown Kirkwall and possibly Thedas what brutal thugs the Qunari really are. How nice of her to offer me as bait; remind me to thank her next time I see her, I forgot when I was calling her a fool...I would've supported her in her quest to show what foul beasts they are!

I learned a lot about what the Qunari really think of mages though. When we were confronted by the Qunari, I asked them why they chain their mages like they do. Their leader I guess it was, his title is Arvaarad, said that all mages draw their power from chaos and demons and can never be in control. Fenris later explained to me that an Arvaarad is like a templar; their main role within the Qunari is to hold the leash of the mage in their care. I guess that makes sense considering his passionate hatred of mages.

Arvaarad said mages are dangerous and contagious? I wasn't aware magic was catchy, but then again the mindset of the Qun isn't exactly normal now is it. I informed Arvaarad that I too was a mage, and Anders admitted he was as well. Probably not the smartest thing to admit to an Arvaarad, as he immediately ordered his group to attack us. So much for friendly discussion.

We "saved" the Qunari mage only to have him kill himself. He said that is the way it must be, to live by the Qun. He feared corruption so he had to die. I think Anders response to that was the best: "Of all the ridiculous, spineless, mind-controlled, senseless piece of shit arguments I've ever heard," he said.

And then the mage Qunari replied, and it's something I haven't stopped thinking about. "What comfort has freedom brought you? Certainty is comfort." Has our freedom brought us any comfort?

If you ask me, a "certain" Qunari is no different than a tranquil mage. Comfort in both, isn't there? I guess that just means I like being uncomfortable and uncertain. Thank the Maker for choices.

Hawke walked into the Chantry as she had done many times before, only this time her mission was different. Several days she had visited in the hopes of seeing a certain blue eyed brother, but today she was looking for Sister Petrice. Now that she was alone without the watchful eye of her companions, she wanted to sit and discuss further Petrice's plans for the Qunari.

Of course when she isn't looking for Sebastian, that's the day she sees him. After their last encounter, Hawke wasn't certain how to approach him. She wanted to apologize, offer some explanation for being a bit forward when he was only offering comfort. In truth she didn't remember what she said, but his recoil caused her heart to ache, and she needed to make amends.

At first Hawke assumed Sebastian was lighting the candles for the midnight sermon, but as she closed the distance between them, his words of prayer stopped her from continuing. "May the words of my heart reach you bride of the Maker. Look with mercy upon my family Andraste, for they are now at your side." He bowed his head in reflection, oblivious to her overhearing his words.

When he turned to leave, Hawke quickly moved towards the stairs so he didn't see her. The last thing she wanted was to get caught eavesdropping on such a private moment, especially when she was there to apologize. Of course in her quick action to avoid him, she didn't notice the grand cleric coming down the stairs, and she nearly knocked the woman over.

"Forgive me," Hawke whispered to Elthina as the woman offered a soft smile.

"There is nothing to forgive child," Elthina told her as she regained her balance. "It seems we are all a bit on edge."

Hawke wasn't certain what the grand cleric was referring to. "On edge?"

Elthina nodded. "A foul murder has been committed within these walls," she said sadly. "We have spent a great deal of time cleansing them, but the fact remains blood was spilt within in the Chantry." Hawke did her best to avert her eyes from Elthina, hoping she didn't notice the guilt that knotted her stomach. "You are from over the sea, are you not?" Elthina then asked, changing the topic. "Have you come to pray for those you've left behind?"

Now she felt even more guilty. Why no Grand Cleric Elthina, I came to stalk one of your brothers in the hopes of getting a kiss in the dark corners of your Chantry, she thought silently. "I was hoping to speak with you in fact," Hawke lied instead. "I was curious of the Chantry's stance on the Qunari presence within Kirkwall."

"The Qunari presence here has stirred great controversy in the Chantry," Elthina stated honestly. "But they have kept to their part of the city and have kept their word of keeping peace within Her walls. I see no reason to dwell on them when there is trouble elsewhere."

"You believe they pose no threat then?" Hawke asked.

Elthina offered no real answer. "The Maker will guide us in all our differences," she replied.

Hawke wasn't completely comforted by her words, but decided now was not the time for any debate with her. "I should get going," she said to Elthina. "Sorry again for bumping into you."

Elthina offered a comforting grin. "Andraste guide your steps."

Hawke watched as the grand cleric approached Sebastian who was now lighting the candles as Hawke originally thought. A few words were exchanged between the two, and then they both set off down the hall.

So much for making amends tonight.