Father,
Alright, time to prove something. I don't even know why I am doing this. Feels stupid. I told her enough times this was stupid and now I am doing it. Maker she's right, I am an idiot. I have no idea what to say. She says write what comes to mind.
I guess I can start with what's pissing me off. Here we are in Kirkwall. I'm sure she's told you all about that. I tried to join the guard but Aveline told them not to take me. Said I can't follow orders. Neither can she. Then she tells me she doesn't like the people I associate with. She's annoying that one, always spying on me. I have a mother. And an overprotective big sister. I don't need Aveline going on about how I need to take up a trade or something. If she gave me a job in the guard I wouldn't need to do anything else. Stupid woman.
I am going to punch Gamlen if I catch him looking at Marian like that again. Filthy slob and his drink.
I know what I have to say to you. This templar you named me after. Why didn't you tell me about him sooner? Marian talked to Tobrius and he gave her letters you wrote to this Maurevar Carver. I can't get into the Gallows records to find out more about him but I'd sure like to. You should have told me though. What were you waiting for? Now you are dead and I can't ask you. And I am writing to a dead person. See? Idiot.
Marian has changed. More so than when that Qunari business happened in Lothering. This is what she does though. Writes to you. Of course you won't answer so I don't see the point. The people we have gathered along the way all think she's crazy for it. Except that stupid mage, the one who constantly goes on about being a mage. I hate him.
She misses you. And Mother. She misses you too. And Bethany. I miss her. That twin connection Mother used to always talk about...it's missing now. I've lost half of me and now I'm lost. Marian has done a good job taking care of the family. You'd be proud. But you always were proud of her.
I suppose I left her to it when I went to Ostagar. That was the man's job though in Lothering. We all went together. And it was a bloody mess that battle. Made it out alive though. That's more than I can say for some of the men I served with. Had to get home to warn the family. Glad I did. But couldn't do a thing to save Bethany. Mother blames Marian. Foolish. It was all our faults. Ogre got her, soulless bastards.
I don't miss a thing about Lothering though. Except Peaches. I got a letter from her the other day. She's staying in Denerim and then moving to the Bannorn and wants me to come see her. She says Lothering is lost. I would go visit but we have this expedition coming up.
I know I've been a pain in the ass. I'll do better. You'll see. I don't know what else to say. Giving this to her so she can burn it with her own.
Your son,
Carver
Hawke stormed into the small hovel, tears streaming down her fair skinned cheeks. She took the folded up letter and threw it at Carver. "Here," she said through hysterical sobs. "You can keep it!"
"Marian!" Leandra's voice raised through Hawke's screaming. "What is all the fuss about?"
Hawke stood in the middle of the room sobbing. "Why? Why you and not me? I don't understand!"
Gamlen watched as Leandra moved to place an arm around her daughter and Carver stood with some letter in his hand. "This is clearly a family matter," he said to no one in particular. "I'm just going to...go get a drink." He walked out of the home with no one having heard him or notice his departure.
"I did what you asked," Carver stated waving the letter around. "I wrote the stupid letter and gave it to you. Why are you giving it back to me?"
Hawke turned to Leandra. "It didn't burn Mother," she whispered as the tears continued to fall. "Why didn't it burn?"
"Oh Marian," Leandra sighed as she wrapped her arms around her daughter. "My poor sweet girl."
Carver looked down at the letter he had written his father. The edges were scorched but the middle of the parchment was intact without any burn marks on it. Every word he had written was clearly legible and unscathed. "Maybe it was the paper?" He tried to offer an explanation. "Or I used different ink?"
"It's the same as mine," Hawke cried into her mothers shoulder.
Carver threw the letter on the ground. "Sister, it doesn't mean anything anyway. Why are you getting so upset?"
Hawke pulled away from Leandra to answer him. "It means you didn't have to in the first place. It means Father knows you'll be okay and doesn't need to hear from you." Her eyes pleaded with him as if he had some answer she needed to know. "Why does he love you more than me?"
"Oh Marian," Leandra whispered behind her.
Carver moved closer to his sister. "Maybe it means he doesn't want to hear from me. This is your private thing with him." He placed his hand on her shoulder. "Yours burn because he enjoys hearing from you."
Hawke's eyes widened at his explanation. She hesitated for a moment before asking, "do you really think so?"
Carver nodded and pulled her into an embrace. Hawke continued to cry for a few more minutes as he stroked her hair. "You were always closer to him Sister," Carver reminded her. "Maybe he still needs you as much as you need him."
Leandra rubbed her back softly as Carver continued to hold her. She lifted her head to look up at her brother. "I'm sorry," she whispered.
Carver kissed her forehead. "No reason," he insisted. "Now go to bed, we have a big day tomorrow."
"Come on my darling daughter," Leandra said as she pulled Hawke away from her brother. "I'll put you to bed and bring you some tea."
Hawke nodded and smiled at her brother once more before Leandra escorted her into the bedroom. Carver picked up the letter and threw it in the fireplace, watching it for several minutes. The letter still wouldn't burn.