The castle was silent except for the sound of boots walking along the corridor. A young man was walking around the dark castle without even a candle to light the way. He knew the castle well and didn't need the light to see where he was going. He was walking at a deliberate pace, but had no destination.

Suddenly, a servant ran up behind him clearly having exhausted himself looking for the young man.

"My prince!" He called as he grabbed onto the young man's shoulder. The servant didn't want to have to keep up with him. "What are you doing?" The servant asked him, out of breath.

"Nothing, Lavi," the boy answered moodily. He was often in a foul mood lately.

"Did you have another nightmare?" Lavi tried again. He often walks around for a while after he has a really bad nightmare, Lavi thought.

As Lavi stared at his back, he saw the boy's shoulders jump in surprise at the mention of nightmares.

Aha! So I was right, Lavi smiled at this thought. He's so easy to figure out. My master wears his heart on his sleeve.

"It was just a nightmare I've had a few times before," the boy conceded.

"My lord, if it was that easy, you would not be out here pacing the hallways in the middle of the night." Lavi said sternly.

"It's none of you business!" Allen raised his voice in irritation. He never liked to talk about his nightmares. The hardest ones were always the ones where he was alone with not a soul to be around. He would never tell Lavi or his guard, Kanda, that he couldn't survive if they weren't here with him. Allen thought Kanda was a jerk and they were always fighting. Still, deep down he cared for them and it was their company alone that kept him with his last shred of sanity.

It was times like this and many more where he misplaced his aggression and took all his anger and fear out on Lavi. Lavi usually took his abuse with good humor or ignored it as he understood Allen's upset.

"Fine." Lavi said, exaggerating a sigh, and then said what he always said. Lavi's voice softened as he smiled lightly. "But, Allen, if you ever want to talk, I'm here anytime."

For a moment, Allen's face relaxed into a half smile. "Yeah. Thanks, Lavi."

Lavi's face smiled back at him pleasantly. "Well," Lavi said, stretching his arms up over his head, "I'm going to go back to sleep. See you in the morning." He then turned on his heel and took off down the hall towards his room.

Once again alone Allen sighed lightly to himself. He felt weak for always getting so hung up on his usual nightmare. He walked out into the castle garden as he reflected on his nightmare. It was always the same one where he was cursed and left alone. That part was the same as his reality except for the part where his loyal servant and his rather annoying guard stayed.

All alone and for some reason that never becomes clear in his nightmare, Allen would become violently ill and die sprawled out in the garden that he spent so much of his time in. Even now, he stood in the very scene of his horrific, stomach-churning dream. The night was dark and only the many statues and plants shared the garden with him now. His servants were both up high in the castle sleeping soundly in their respective rooms.

Allen's eyes were rapidly adjusting to the darkness outside and was able to widen his stride without worry of bumping into anything. There were a few stone wolf statues in the garden along with several long dead bushes. (A/N: When envisioning what the other statues may look like, think Krory's Castle garden.)

Ever since the curse had been placed on him and his castle and Mater had been abandoned, it seemed impossible for anything to grow there. The whole of Mater's plants died off easily and even the animals drew back. Now all that inhabited the ruins of the former town were the occasional squirrel or other small animal foraging in the wreckage. The forest surrounding the place were also filled with dying or otherwise decaying flora and the only fauna was the most vicious kind imaginable. Wolves, rabid foxes and other nasty, violent animals stalked these woods and nothing else.

He could not leave the castle grounds, but Allen often watched from afar. It was one of the only sources of fun he had sometimes depressing though it may be. Lavi often lent Allen his telescope so that Allen could stare at the town and forest below from one of the highest balconies in his castle. Sometimes if he was lucky he would catch sight of something living, but it was usually completely quiet and barren.

Sometimes Allen would wonder what he would do if he were completely alone, but he could not bear the thought and had to distract himself somehow. Sometimes the sadness and loneliness only served to make him more bitter and angry while other times it robbed him simply of the will to do anything at all.

He was a fool and still is, he knew that, but it was just too much. It had been a long time since he wanted to love someone, not since he was a child. The more self-absorbed he'd gotten, the less he cared who he married as long as they either made him look good or helped him in some way with his lifestyle.

After the curse, he still didn't care who it was as long as they could help him. He only wanted someone, anyone, to fall in love with him because that woman said that was what was necessary. No, after he gave up the idea of anyone loving him he didn't want to be with anyone at all. He just wanted to wallow in self-pity in his big, empty home with his companions.

He never wanted to love anyone, not that he thought it was possible anyway, because he felt it was too much trouble for nothing.

It's not worth it. He thought as he aggressively ran his hand along one of the garden's statues trying to get some of the mold off of it. Women, people, living, everything is just so troublesome. I don't think I could ever bring myself to love someone again. Even though I no longer love myself, I think I've forever lost the ability to completely love another.

Allen trusted his companions and relied heavily upon their presence for his sanity and peace of mind, but that was different. He felt that somehow through it all he had lost something human in him. The part of them that all people have whether they try to or don't, whether they like it or hate it, they all have it.

The inalienable urge to love someone and I don't have it. Besides, how could anyone ever fall for me? No one would be happy being loved by me, no one.