Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.
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Chapter 6 – Descent
No One's POV.
Jake woke the next day, feeling like hell. Her face and body still hurt from tripping on the curb the night before. But besides the physical pain; was confusion and despair, from Tori's wanting her to stay.
Of course the Latina gave a perfect valid reason for Jade staying; that with the cold, the shelters would be full. Jade did believe that, but at the same time she believed Tori wanted her to stay for other reasons.
Was it to help or did Tori want to keep her there so she could fuck with Jade' s head and make her miserable, as a matter of revenge. At the moment Jade couldn't help but think it was revenge. Looking at the door, Jade certainly felt trapped and the more she thought about it, the more depressed she became.
Of course on top of everything, was her constant urges to return to Beck. She would just want to go back, then remember the beatings. Of course the co-dependent side of her would resurrect a happy memory to counter the bad one. It was like a war going on inside her head and Jade had to struggle to live with it, each and every day.
"How in the hell do I even function anymore." Muttered Jade, as she sat up on the couch and looked blankly out of the window.
The only response was the sound of Tori eating breakfast in the next room. That was someone she didn't even want to deal with at the moment. Tori's cold attitude, her constant sourpuss expression was slowly getting to the Goth. Once she hated Tori's annoying smile, now Jade just wanted to see it, if just for a moment.
"Just smile, for god damn once would you." Jade whispered, as went straight into the bathroom to get ready for work.
When she emerged from the bathroom the apartment was empty as Tori had gone to work, but even when she was here, the apartment was just as empty. Jade felt at times, like she living with a bad tempered ghost.
Nothing else to do, Jade went to work and just tried to push it out of her mind. But she only had limited success and remained slightly depressed about it all day. Coming home she decided to keep working and cleaned the kitchen as she was supposed to weekly.
She finished in an hour and still felt like keeping on going, so she pulled the vacuum out of the closet and began to clean the living room. It was mind numbing work and that was precisely what she wanted. When she finished vacuuming and then looked at Tori's unattended and dust covered keyboard.
"I can't ask her about it, but how will she react if I clean it. Will it cause her to use it again?" Jade pondered out loud.
So Jade did just that, cleaning every speck of dust off the keyboard and music books on it then carefully placed them back as they were.
Now Tired, Jade ordered some Chinese food and sat down to watch TV. She still felt trapped and somewhat depressed, but there was nothing she could do about it. Tori worked her second job, so she didn't' come home until about 1 in the morning. Tori went straight to bed at that point.
It wasn't until the next day, around noon, when Jade saw Tori come out. Jade was watching the original Dawn of the dead on TV, when the Latina walked past her wordlessly and went into the kitchen.
Jade could hear Tori rummaging around and called out. "There's some leftover orange chicken and rice in the fridge if you want it."
As Jade expected, Tori said a soft. "No thank you."
"Once again my food's not good enough for her." Mumbled Jade under her breath.
Tori came out of the kitchen with a glass of milk and seemed to notice the rug had been vacuumed.
Looking over, Jade nodded. "After I cleaned the kitchen, I vacuumed and cleaned a bit in here."
Tori then looked around and nodded slightly.
"Oh Tori, I also cleaned off your keyboard and music books, they were covered with dust. I know how much you loved playing it all the time."
The reaction was instant and fierce, as Tori slammed her glass down on the table and promptly blew her top.
"LEAVE MY KEYBOARD ALONE! DON'T YOU FUCKING TOUCH IT. EVER!" Screamed Tori, right before she stormed into her room and slammed the door shut.
Jade sighed as she fell just a bit further into depression. She didn't do it to be mean or make Tori mad. She honestly wanted to know what happened. Part of her wanted to connect with Tori, make up for what she had done. Jade just wanted to connect honestly with someone, but all Tori did was get angry.
There were times, however when Jade suspected that it wasn't that Tori didn't want to connect, it was that she was no longer capable of it. It was as if her anger and bitterness, had short circuited, all her other emotions.
At the moment Jade simply didn't care. She grabbed her purse, jacket and left, deciding to spend some time at the movies.
When Jade returned, she hoped Tori's anger would have dissipated, but it hadn't. In fact for the next week, Tori remained just as angry and was even less talkative than normal.
Things for Jade were slowly becoming more and more unbearable. She had to resist the temptation to go back to Beck, but the atmosphere in the apartment was slowly becoming more and more toxic. Jade was becoming increasingly lonely and depressed and knew something needed to change. The thought of making things right with Tori, was becoming more unlikely with each passing day.
A few evenings later, Tori was in her room watching TV when she heard Jade on the phone. Suspecting the Goth had broken down and called Beck, she crept to the door and listened.
"Yeah….Hi…I'm calling about the ad for a roommate." Tori could hear Jade say, as she quietly cracked open the door.
After a few seconds she heard Jade respond. "Oh, you filled it a week ago." Then Jade's tone grew angry. "Then fucking take the ad off of craigslist, asshole."
Tori watched as Jade scratched something off a sheet of paper and called a second number.
"Yeah….I'm calling about the ad for a roommate. Is it still available."
"Good. How much per month. It's not listed in the ad."
"$1200 are you fucking crazy!" Jade bellowed, before hanging up the phone.
Tori watched as a frustrated Jade called 4 more ads and each one didn't pan out. One was a bunch of guys who wanted a girl to clean up, another said they only wanted blonde's and so on. The others wanted too much.
When finished, Jade crumpled up the piece of paper and threw it. "I'm never getting fucking out of here."
Unseen by Jade, a now visibly agitated Tori, closed the door and in her room silently made a fist.
Again the next night, Jade called more places but none of them worked for various reasons. But when she finished with her list, Jade quietly slumped down on the couch.
Again Tori quietly watched form her room, a very distinct scowl on her face.
Over the next few days Tori, despite her own emotional turmoil, noticed the gradual change in Jade. At first Jade tried to make efforts to breach the distance, but those stopped with the Goth saying only what she absolutely needed to.
Each night after quietly eating dinner, Jade would slump on the couch, turn on the TV and blankly watch what ever happened to be on. There weren't even horror movies she watched, Jade would just watch what ever happened to be on the first channel she found. One night, Tori noted, that Jade watched a 4 hour marathon of "The Joy of Painting" with Bob Ross, on public television and didn't once move or say a word. At appeared to Tori, that increasingly, Jade no longer cared about much of anything.
Another weekend past and Tori who was working extra hours at her other job, didn't see much of the Goth
The following Monday night, Tori arrived home and announced she was making baked fish for dinner. Jade who was laying on the couch, blankly watching an ancient episode of "Let's make a deal." on the Game show network said in a sullen voice.
"I'm not hungry. Just make whatever you want for yourself."
The entire time, Tori made and at her dinner, Jade just lay there unmoving and watching TV. After dinner Tori retired to her room and as she had, listened if Jade was trying to move out, but other than the sound of the TV, she heard Jade making no phone calls.
Around 10:30, Tori who had been reading in her room, got thirsty and decided to go the kitchen.
She had left her room and was walking behind the couch when she heard Jade quietly talking to herself, as she watched TV. Tori then realized, that Jade wasn't aware she had left her room.
"What's the point….What the fucking point. I've got no acting career, I haven't sold any stories, I still have to fight not to crawl back to Beck, I want to get past this but I can't. All I do is clean toilets and make beds. Tori's just keeping me here to torture me and I'll never…"
Jade let out a long forlorn sigh. "If I walked out in the cold without my coat, how long would it take?"
Unseen and unheard by Jade, Tori began to shake and crept back into her room.
Alone, Tori looked at herself in the mirror, her hands still shaking.
"If she only knew, I don't know what to say, I don't know what to do."
Tori internally was a mess; best described as a twisted mass of regret, massive guilt, humiliation, fear and anger. Stung badly by life, Tori had encased herself in a shell of anger and bitterness, but now she couldn't break through it anymore.
It had taken almost everything she had to let Jade stay, but found herself incapable of anything more.
Not diverting her eyes from the mirror she remembered the Tori she once was. It was that long dormant part of her, which answered her question.
"Tori, Jade is on the verge of giving up. If you don't make an attempt to break through, Jade will leave, one way or the other. If that happens, everything you were, everything you wanted to be, your hopes for making up for what you did, will simply vanish."
Walking away from the mirror, Tori knew that she needed to do something, if not for Jade, then for herself.
It took Tori several minutes to gather up the courage to walk out of the room. She knew needed to take a step, even if a tiny one.
Emerging from the bedroom, she walked up to the couch where Jade was lying.
"Jade!" Tori said quickly and forcefully.
Jade looked up without saying anything.
"I'm making lasagna tomorrow night, with Salad. Would you please help me, it will go faster then."
Somewhat confused by this bizarre turn of events, Jade nodded. "OK."
"Thank you, goodnight." Tori said, before quickly retreating into her room.
The Joy of Painting was a show that ran on American Public Television from 1983 – 1994 in which Host Bob Ross, would paint an oil painting and talk about the techniques he used to paint it along with other subjects. He always painted peceful type landscapes. The show's gotten sort of a cult following as Comedian Patton Oswald, described the soft spoken Bob Ross as "A human Quaalude." Many people say they find Bob and the show rather soothing and almost hypnotic. It's on youtube, if you wish to see for yourself.
Let's make a deal is a television game show which has run on and off since the 1960's. Contestants and would be contestants always wear silly costumes.