Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.

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Chapter 7 – What's behind door number 2

Jade's POV

Every since my efforts to find a person looking for a roommate had failed, I had slowly fallen into a deep depression. It wasn't merely a lack of luck in finding a room that did it. It was a whole bunch of things all at once. My career as an actor had gone nowhere, I had a horrible job, I lived on the couch of a person who seemed to hate me, yet didn't want me to leave, plus I was still having a hard time struggling with my co-dependent tendencies. Feeling as miserable as I was, moving back with Beck was starting to look good.

I was also missing Tori. Not the angry bitter Tori, who I see day after day. The old Tori. As much as I hated it then, she was a friend, someone who enjoyed making people smile. I haven't seen her in 3 years, since I betrayed her.

It was evening and I was lying on the couch, in a depressed stupor, binge watching 1970's episodes of Lets make a deal, on the game show network. I was too depressed to care about the fact that the show was stupid and had stupid people , wearing stupid costumes on it.

But I simply didn't care, my life was in ruins and there was pretty much nothing I could do about it. Life itself felt increasingly pointless and hope seemed to have escaped me.

I had lamented that out loud while watching Television. I even began to wonder who long it would take me to freeze to death without a coat. That thought passed quickly, but I'd been having more and more of them.

I had reached a low point and once again turned by attention on the ancient TV show.

"So, do you want the AM/FM stereo system or what's behind door number 2" Announced the host, to the contestant, who was a woman dressed as a box of tide.

The woman all of a sudden looked like she couldn't make up her mind to save her life, which for some reason irked the shit out of me.

"Jesus friggen Christ, the stereo's got quadraphonic sound, turntable and a built in 8 track cassette player. Take the stereo, you stupid wench."

All of a sudden she blurts out door number 2 and the door opens to reveal a bag of goat feed, meaning she's lost.

"Idiot. Now we're both losers, you don't have that groovy stereo with the 8 track tape player and I don't have a life. At least you'll get the year's supply of Turtle wax, along with a shitload of Rice A Roni."

"Jade?"

It was Tori's voice that I had heard. Surprised, it abruptly broke me out of my stupor, as Tori rarely came out of her room after she entered it for the evening. I could only imagine what she wanted and I suddenly felt just a bit more depressed.

"I'm making lasagna tomorrow night, with Salad. Would you please help me, it will go faster then."

Now I was even more surprised and very confused; Tori had never so much as once asked for my help. She also had refused my help any food I made or bought. Now all of a sudden she wanted my help making dinner.

"Ok" I said with a nod.

Before I could even ask why, Tori said "Thank you, goodnight," Then vanished into her room.

It was a strange turn of events indeed. But I quickly cautioned myself not to read too much into it. Perhaps she merely wanted some extra help for once and that was that. I shouldn't expect much.

We'll make dinner in silence, eat in silence and as normal, she'll retreat to her room and stay there the rest of the evening. Nothing's going to change, I just need to except that.

So when I went to sleep a short while later, I was still depressed, but wondered if there was light at the end of the tunnel. Though sometimes, that light at the end of the tunnel does turn out to be an oncoming train.

The next morning Tori was her normal quiet self, though I only saw her briefly as I got up and headed straight into the bathroom.

I trudged through work at the hospital as normal. It's funny being in housekeeping at the hospital, because unless you get in their way, the staff seems to not even see you. It's like being totally invisible. Dr. Cortez is a rare exception, but he's pretty busy so other than to say hello, he doesn't get much chance to talk.

My mind was occupied by Tori and the possible motives of her request throughout the day. It was still occupied as I left work and heard a voice that sent a chill down my spine.

"Hello Jade."

I didn't want to turn around, but I did anyway. It was Beck of course; he was leaning up against a parked ambulance, just outside the entrance. My heart both leapt and seemed to shrivel up, all at the same time. Of course the co-dependant side of me immediately went wild and I had to fight off every single urge in my body, just to remain still.

"What do you want? There's a security guard, just inside the hospital entrance I just walked out of. Be warned." I hissed, covering up my sudden emotional turmoil. I also mentally cursed the fact that I didn't have my scissors on me. I had been told by a co-worker that having what could be considered a weapon on hospital grounds would result in immediate termination.

He put his hands out and moved back slghtly. "I'm not here to hurt you. I just wanted to see if you're ok."

Just the sight of him had totally unnerved me and with each passing second, the emotional storm that had suddenly sprung up inside me, increased in strength. I was covering up with my normal scowl, but I wouldn't last long.

"I'm fine, now go away. I don't want you here at my work. And don't follow me either." I said my voice beginning to shake at the end. Part of me wanted to flee, part of me wanted to run into his arms, my head began to hurt with all the thoughts and memories, both good and bad, as they flooded my mind.

"Look, I'm making some changes Jade, real changes Things will be better. I know you don't believe me, but I am. I just want you to know that. I don't want to scare you so, I'll leave. But you left behind one of your writing journals. Your stories. I know it's very important to you. All your other stuff you left behind it just as you left it."

Beck carefully laid down a black notebook on the sidewalk. "I'll put it here and leave."

I looked to the book and then to Beck as he slowly backed away. I actually had to bite my own tongue to stop myself from telling him to stay.

"I will make this right, I will. I love you Jade." He said, with a hopeful smile.

"I love you too." I said, before I even realized what I was doing. Just like that, it came out. I didn't even mean to say it. It left me, with my head spinning, my heart fluttering and a sick feeling in my stomach.

With that, Beck's smile widened and he quickly vanished around a corner, leaving me standing alone.

I don't even know how long I stood there, half dazed before I scooped up the notebook and headed back to Tori's apartment.

I had made or at least I thought I had made progress in breaking away, and in one quick conversation, all my progress had been swiftly wiped out. I had held it all in on my way home. In the subway, I just blankly starred off into space,

Arriving home, I let it all go and sort of mentally fell apart and collapsed on the couch.

No One's POV

Tori arrived home a bit earlier than usual and as she entered could see Jade on the couch. While she wasn't crying, she looked visibly shaken and was blankly starring at the television, which wasn't even on.

It was so easy for Tori to just breeze past Jade and head to the safety of her room to change. But halfway there she remembered that she needed to truly make an effort, no matter how hard.

Tori stopped herself and clenched her fists for a moment, as feelings of guilt and anger danced within her mind.

"Jade, are you ok." Tori said slowly. It was hard as hell for Tori to get those words out, but she managed it.

Jade shook her head. "No."

The scene seemed all too familiar, only Tori was barely able to lend the support that she knew deep down Jade needed. "Beck?"

Jade's voice cracked as she spoke, "I saw him."

Tori quickly huffed in displeasure, causing Jade to glare at her.

"No I didn't go to him. He showed up as I was leaving work. I was trying Tori, I was trying. He just came and….supposedly just to see how I was doing and to tell me things were going to change….but look at me, I'm a total wreck."

Jade buried her face in her hands, causing Tori so suffer a massive wave of guilt. "I tried…."

Tori forced herself to step forward and put a hand briefly on Jade's shoulder. "You were. You can."

Jade sighed and kept her face in her hands.

"I still would like your help making dinner. Please."

Jade lifted her head. "Sure."

"I'll get changed and we can start."

Tori then vanished into her room and quickly changed. Once back out she found Jade already in the kitchen.

Entering the kitchen, Tori said. "Shall we begin."

Tori at the moment was only capable of baby steps so as far as talking to Jade, she just wasn't equipped to handle it. So as pleasantly as she could act, she and Jade made dinner. Jade quietly did her thing and said very little. It was a bit awkward, but soon dinner was ready.

During all this, Jade sensed that Tori in a distant sort of way was trying to help. Jade also sensed Tori's limited efforts were most likely all she could muster. Still she appreciated the bit help in this hard time.

Dinner was eaten in silence, other than each saying the food was good.

After dinner was done, Tori said. "If you'd like, you can help me other times, or maybe even I could help you."

"That would be good."

Coming out into the living room, Jade looked to Tori. "Thank you."

Tori nodded. "Do you need anything else."

"No, I can't ask you for more. I'm tired and think I'll just watch TV for a bit then go to sleep."

"Ok, Good night Jade."

Tori again went into her room and Jade was left alone. She was still a mess, but Tori for once had actually helped, but was obviously struggling to overcome what tormented her.

It was a small step and Jade hoped there would be others.