A/N: As we begin Act 2, you can assume Hawke continued to write to her father the goings on over the last three years. For this reason, I am only briefly touching on the quest Finding Home, though it won't fit in the chapter title. Anything she may have written that is crucial to plot I will recap, as you'll see in this chapter.
After all this time it was still hard to believe that opening the front door now led into Hightown instead of Lowtown. Exiting her home into the fresher, cleaner air away from the foundry, Hawke lifted her head to the sky and embraced the sun for the second time that day. She had already been to see the Viscount, an encounter that had surprised and concerned her, and now she headed towards Fenris' mansion to ask for his assistance.
She paused at the Chantry steps before moving on. It had been nearly three years since she had seen or heard from Sebastian. The grand cleric informed her he had taken leave for personal reasons, though she wouldn't divulge any further details. It was probably for the best, Hawke mused, otherwise she'd be taking full advantage of the now short distance to the Chantry from her home.
Hawke cautiously entered the mansion where Fenris resided and paused as she heard voices coming from upstairs. He wasn't alone, and for a moment she feared Danarius had finally come for him. But seconds later she relaxed when she heard the teasing laughter of Isabela echo through the empty dwelling. From their time in the Deep Roads, Hawke had suspected a bond of sorts was forming between the two, but now it was confirmed they had become friends.
She hesitated before ascending the stairs, wondering now if the two were engaged in something she'd rather not see, but talk of tax collectors didn't sound too intimate so Hawke continued onward. Isabela must have heard her come up the stairs, because she stood immediately and began to leave, not before strutting her rear in front of Fenris and offering Hawke a wink.
"Hawke," Fenris said her name in a welcoming tone.
"Good morning," she replied with a smile as she sat in the chair previously occupied by Isabela. "I hope I wasn't interrupting anything."
"Not at all," the elf informed her. "Another year held up in this mansion, another year to avoid taxes it seems. Isabela was assisting me."
"I see," Hawke stated. "Has it really been another year already?"
"Mm," he acknowledged. "Three now in fact. And still no sign of Danarius. I almost dare to think he's given up."
Hawke wished that were true for her friend. "It certainly is a nice thought."
Fenris nodded. "I've wanted to ask you something for some time now, but the opportunity never presented itself."
"You can ask me anything Fenris," she assured him. "We are friends."
He turned away from her then and looked out the window. "Your brother once mentioned that you and your family moved around a lot; your father and two of his daughters being apostates I understand the need. But you've been in Kirkwall for nearly four years now." He glanced back towards her. "Have you finally stopped running?"
Hawke studied his expression for the real reason behind his question. "You're wondering if it's time to stop as well? Perhaps build a life here?"
"Is that even possible?" Fenris asked. "I am not sure I know how."
She laughed, though stopped abruptly when she saw the look of confusion in his face at her reaction. "We've both stopped running Fenris. You said it yourself, it's been three years and you are still here. You have friends, weekly card games, this huge mansion to live in, and a steady job of bailing me out of trouble! Is there a better definition of a life?" When he remained silent, Hawke continued. "And just so you know, should Danarius show up, we wouldn't let you run again if you tried. Every one of us, even Anders, would be by your side to defend you."
Fenris thought on what she said. "I suppose I sound ungrateful then, not realizing this as you have."
"No," Hawke told him honestly. "There are days I don't realize it either. But since we are friends, I count on you to remind me as I have reminded you today."
With that he smiled, acknowledging the truth in her words. "Of course. Now perhaps you will tell me the reason you are here?"
Her expression turned to confusion and darkness, and Fenris swore he saw fear in her eyes as well. "I was summoned this morning by the Viscount. He spent the better part of our time together telling me his fears surrounding the Qunari. The fact that they are still here, and zealots that may be plotting something to antagonize them and bring war to Kirkwall. He is concerned they want something, and seems to believe they going to ask for it soon."
"Any ideas what it may be?" Fenris asked.
"Not yet," Hawke told him. "But apparently the Arishok has sent a request for me."
"And the Viscount wants you to keep the peace," Fenris deduced, and Hawke confirmed with a nod. "What does the Arishok want with you?"
She shrugged. "He didn't know. Received a letter by messenger requesting that I be sent to the compound immediately."
Fenris was starting to understand why she was afraid. "You wish for me to go with you," he stated more than questioned.
Hawke felt the tears sting her eyes. "Without my brother around, I admit I am not as brave to face the Arishok alone. He seems to respect you though, maybe he won't crush me where I stand if you're beside me?"
Fenris grinned in an effort to comfort her. "I will go with you," he stated as he stood. "I also recommend bringing Aveline along. Having the captain of the guard beside you may remind the Arishok he is on borrowed land."
"Good idea," she said following his lead and standing as well. "Thank you Fenris. I really appreciate it."
"A reminder Hawke," Fenris told her. "We would all gladly defend you as well."
His reassurance and reminder pushed aside her fear, and Hawke felt more confident to meet the Arishok and face whatever it was he wanted from her.
Dearest Father,
More and more people are asking me for help, and I keep showing up with a smile! On the outside it appears I have it all, yet on the inside I am as lost as I was three years ago. Sometimes as I sit in my room that's bigger than Gamlen's hovel these are the thoughts I have. I know I've told you many times over the last three years all the changes that were taking place, but I have to keep reminding myself this is now my life. I'm certain I will be reminding you of that strange expensive art in the library again next week...I wonder if I gave Mother too much gold to spend. Which reminds me, Bodahn gave me the final payment today...three years later! I guess some of Varric's sources took a while to pay up, but now we are finally done with selling everything from the Deep Roads. Close that chapter for good, I never want to think about that place again!
Sorry, I suppose I should tell you why my mind is a complete mess today. It all started this morning when Bodahn informed me the Viscount wanted to see me. I was nervous enough at being summoned by him, but then to learn the Arishok knows my name? I hate even more that he knows I have changed my fortune over the years as he says. To be called upon by the Viscount of the city and told that the most hated enemy residing in town wanted to speak with me was not one of the highlights of my day. Neither was the reason he requested my help in the first place.
Well, not really help. "A courtesy" as he likes to say, in telling me that his poisonous gas was stolen and could kill thousands in Kirkwall. In other words, "I allowed it to get out, so fix it before it becomes a problem." At first we suspected Javaris, the dwarf that was after the substance years ago. but it turned out to be some crazy elf that was upset with the Qunari converting other elves. One of the zealots the Viscount feared? We assume so. Luckily we found the gas and contained it before too much damage was done.
My biggest concern was the amount of people that were in on this plot to frame the Qunari. It was made to look like they were trying to kill the citizens of Kirkwall by this elf, but she had a lot of help. We had resistance from the carta and several mercenaries before securing the stuff. Just how many are conspiring in the dark corners of the city? That elf also said I had enemies; she was glad I was there so she could kill me. I wish I knew what she was talking about. I know I've upset some people in Kirkwall, but overall I thought I did more good than harm. Apparently not.
I hate to say it, but I also have to wonder what the Viscounts son has to do with all this, if anything. He says he sees beauty in them, acceptance and assurance and certainty. But all I can see are murderers. I would try to remember that I can't blame their entire race for the actions of one, but they have shown me little reason to believe they are not savages. Saemus says he will happily go to the Maker knowing he hated no one. I'm afraid I can't say the same. Yet another conversation I wish to have with Sebastian...should he ever return.
When we reported to the Arishok what happened with the stolen gas, he refused to take any blame for their actions. Further, when I mentioned that he had remained in Kirkwall a long time, he got angry. Furious even. If it weren't for Fenris' hand on my back forcing me to remain strong and stand tall, I would have ran in fear. I can't even think of it any further without my heart starting to race in utter panic. I'm glad now I told Fenris everything that happened in my past with their people. I needed him to understand my fear and he does. I just wish they'd go away already, but I have a feeling that is one wish that will not come true without a price.
In talking to Fenris this morning, I realized that I really miss Carver. I still haven't been to see him...avoiding him and the Gallows completely. I know it's been years and I really should seek him out. Mother says he wants to see me but I'm still not over the circumstances of his recruitment. I wish he would've waited for me to return before making such a decision. I told him then that it was a good idea, if that's what he wanted to do. But over time I can't help but think he only did it to protect me. And if that's the case, he is probably miserable, and doesn't want to really see me anyway. We've had the estate for over a year now and he hasn't come to visit either, so it's not entirely all my fault. Kirkwall has many two-way streets.
I suppose it's time to wrap up this letter Father. Mother insists on going dress shopping before the markets close. Maker, please don't let her try to fit me in one again. If she doesn't stop talking about marrying me off I am going to scream, I swear it.