Dearest Father,

Mother was having another one of her moments this morning, going on about how strange it is to be living in her childhood home. Every time she says how being here makes her feel like an Amell again, I have to remind her of the Hawke name. She's always so quick to forget it, it frightens me Father. She even mentioned considering marriage for a second time.

A part of me is furious with the idea. How could she think such a thing? No one can replace you, why would she want to try? She said she'd always love you, but thinks it's time to move on with her life. Maybe she's right. Who am I to hold her back with my thoughts and opinions? Personally I feel like she is betraying you, your memory, but I am not in her shoes. I imagine she's lonely, and if that's the case then maybe I can see the need to move on. It just makes me sad.

These thoughts led me to the Chantry. I needed to get out of the house, away from her considering the many available nobles in Kirkwall. I had planned to spend some time trying to make peace with the idea, but ended up walking in on a private conversation between the grand cleric and Sebastian. He had returned, and was asking her for forgiveness. She was pretty harsh on him, so I interrupted (though I don't really know why, was it even my place to?).

He found out who was behind the murder of his family, and wanted to go after them for some answers. The Harimann's are a prominent family in the city; I was apprehensive at first to even go confront them. But Sebastian asked for my help; he was worried that if he went alone, something may happen to him. Of course I offered my assistance, I agreed this was not something he should do solo. The grand cleric saw it necessary to remind me that attacking a noble family wasn't wise, and if they had done wrong then it was up to the Viscount to punish them. She also begged me to not let Sebastian do anything he may regret. She needn't worry about that - I would never.

I recruited the help of Fenris and Varric and we went to visit the Harimann estate. Strange goings on there! First we ran into Flora Harimann who was yelling at an empty keg of wine. She didn't even know we were there. Brett Harimann was melting gold to pour over one of the slaves, claiming it would make her beautiful! Lucky we were there in time to stop him. Further investigation led us to find Ruxton Harimann, in a rather compromising position! I'm not sure who had the brighter shade of red on their face between Sebastian and I after walking in on that! The entire house it seemed had gone mad.

We found some journal entries that began to explain what was going on. It seemed to have all started with an expansion of the estate. Two dozen slaves were brought in to start excavating, digging into the hillside behind the house. As quickly as they began they were ordered to stop by Lady Johain, and within two weeks the family was out of their minds. Flora was the last to succumb to whatever it was, as her entries stopped.

Beneath the house we found some ruins, protected by all kinds of foul creatures. We made our way through to find Lady Johain begging a desire demon for more power in order to convince the current prince of Starkhaven to marry her daughter Flora and unite the families. Sebastian had his confrontation, but I'm not certain he got the answers he was looking for. The demon had a lot to say to both of us, and I'm not certain she was entirely wrong.

Sebastian rested his arms on the rail, looking down upon the first floor of the Chantry. "I had hoped prayer would cleanse me of the desire demon's touch," Sebastian said to Hawke when she came to check on him later that day. "Yet I still hear her voice so clearly. I feel like I've bathed in filth that will never come off."

Hawke stood beside him, confused as to why he was punishing himself. "I see no reason for you to be ashamed," she stated. "You acted honorably and have done no wrong."

Sebastian looked over his shoulder at her. "You were right down there in the ruins, when you told me that Lady Harimann wanted the same as I. The demon knew this too." He turned around to face her. "I used to be jealous of my brother," he admitted. "I wanted to be prince and now I could be, though his body lies in ashes. I wonder, do I want this because it is right? Or because I can finally have what I thought I never could?"

"Listen to your heart Sebastian," Hawke replied with ease. "It's the wisdom not to want power that let's you use it wisely."

Sebastian shook his head. "You didn't feel what that demon stirred in me."

Hawke smiled shyly. "Perhaps you forget who you're talking to. I've had my fair share of demons tempting me, playing with my doubts and fears and trying to use them against me."

Her response took him by surprise, how openly she admitted such a thing. "I suppose you have," Sebastian responded. "How is it then you deal with such things? Temptation, guilt, doubt even?"

"Same as you," Hawke told him. "I count on what I believe, what I know to be right or wrong. And then when you hit a crossroads where you just don't know what to do about something, you have other options. The Maker for one, and if he doesn't answer, friends are just as good," she added with another smile. "We won't always find the answer we're looking for, but a different perspective never hurt anyone."

Sebastian nodded, acknowledging her statement. "It seems I owe you more than I can say Hawke," he told her, feeling a little better about his internal struggle. "I will think on what you have said, and I appreciate you taking the time to listen. You give sound advice; I shall try to follow it."

"Or not," she shrugged. "I don't claim to have any more answers than you do. Maker knows I rarely listen to my own advice. Just ask my mother someday how wrong I can be at times."

He laughed, his blue eyes shining a little brighter that nearly melted her heart where she stood. "I very well may do so." Sebastian lifted his head above them to look out of the window. "It's getting late, might I have the pleasure of escorting you home?"

"While I can still walk on my own two feet?" she joked, referencing the last time he walked her home.

"Indeed it will be easier," Sebastian said with a grin.

Hawke tried not to seem overly eager and nervous, nodding her head in acceptance. "Very well then. Shall we?"

He offered her his arm as they descended the stairs and exited the Chantry. Grand Cleric Elthina watched from where she had stood on the third level for the last few minutes. While she was relieved Sebastian had returned in one piece, concern filled her heart with his new budding friendship.

When Hawke entered the estate, she was immediately greeted by her mabari Talyn. He ran an excited circle around his master, and then immediately began sniffing Sebastian. Hawke stood back and watched the interaction between the two; Talyn was usually wary of any new stranger but seemed to take to Sebastian with ease.

"I have not seen a mabari in years," he commented. "I have heard that gaining a mabari's loyalty is considered the ultimate proof of character."

Hawke couldn't help the ridiculous smile that seemed permanently stuck on her face in his presence. "That's kind of you to say. It seems he likes you just as much."

Sebastian laughed as Talyn ran between his legs, his stumped tail swiftly moving from side to side. "Then I am honored," he said bowing to the hound who barked in response. "A fine beast indeed."

Bodahn stood in the entranceway to greet Hawke and her guest. "Welcome home messere," he stated. "Might I offer you and your guest anything?"

Hawke introduced Sebastian to Bodahn and then to Sandal when they walked into the living room. "That's very kind of you," Sebastian replied to the dwarf. "But I am afraid I must be getting back before Elthina begins to worry."

Hawke stopped his movements with a soft hand on his arm. "Would you mind waiting a moment? I have something for you."

"For me?" he questioned.

She smiled as she nodded to Bodahn who disappeared into the library. He returned with a large bow that Sebastian recognized immediately as soon as he saw it. "That...that is my grandfather's bow!" He took the weapon and held it in front of him, testing the strength of the string. "And it looks to be in mint condition! Where did you find it?"

The expression on his face was of pure joy, a look Hawke was hoping to see when she gave it to him. "One of the Flint Company mercenaries had it. I brought it to a weapon smith for some repairs, and Sandal added a rune to it for you."

Sebastian ran his finger across the rune, the shock and amazement still gleaming in his eyes. "I can't believe you found it," he whispered. "I had thought of it often, never expecting to see it again."

"I imagine there's a story behind that bow," Hawke stated, wishing to hear him speak some more and delay his exit.

They moved towards the couch and sat down, Sebastian still holding the bow in front of him. "As the youngest son of three," he began, "it was my place to lead Starkhaven's militia. I was never very good with swords, so my grandfather turned me on to bows. 'A wise mans weapon' he would say, with the ability to defend the city without opening the gates."

"Distance is best when in a fight," Hawke agreed.

"It was promised to me by my grandfather when I was a boy of thirteen. He said when I had proven I had the ability to use it he would give it to me." Sebastian's eyes showed a hint of sadness as he continued the story. "I would practice every day to be able to show him, make him proud. But before I got a chance my parents sent me to the Chantry, and I hadn't seen the bow since until today."

Hawke tried to process what he had told her. "Your parents sent you to the Chantry? I thought you had joined willingly?"

Sebastian looked down, slightly embarrassed. "I may have been dedicated in practicing bows every morning, but every other part of the day was spent getting into trouble." He dared to meet her gaze. "I was a wild boy, a shame to my family. If my parents hadn't sent me away...well, besides the trouble I would have caused, I'd probably be dead just as they are. Only sooner."

Hawke felt his sadness and it nearly broke her heart to see the pain in his eyes. "I'm sorry I never got a chance to meet your parents," she had spoken before she thought better of it. "Or to save them."

He gently placed his hand on her knee. "You've done more than enough for them already," Sebastian assured her. "And for me."

She placed her hand on his in an attempt to keep it there as long as possible, but changed the subject into a more positive direction. "I don't suppose there is much need for your archery skills within the Chantry, but should you have need to use that bow, the rune should come in handy."

"Not in the Chantry, no," he agreed. "But perhaps I could offer you my services while I figure out what to do in regards to my role in Starkhaven."

A sly smile crossed her lips. "Sure, I can think of several services I'd like you to perform."

The look of shock in Sebastian's face made Hawke realize she had said what she was thinking out loud. Her cheeks flushed as did his, and she recalled the last time they were in this same position. His hand on her leg, her saying something bordering on flirtatious, and that same expression revealing itself in his face. This time she pulled away instead of him, standing quickly as his hand slipped off her knee.

"I'm sorry Sebastian," she said still flustered. "I have kept you far later than you had planned."

He followed in her gesture, standing as well and making his way to the front door. "I uh...thank you again," he stated, raising the bow a few inches upwards. The man was clearly tongue-tied as Hawke opened the door for him. "We will uh...talk soon. Yes, soon."

She watched his hurried steps as he nearly ran back towards the Chantry. Once she saw him ascending the grand staircase Hawke closed the door to the estate and leaned against it, waiting for her embarrassment to dissipate. Maker's breath Marian you are such an idiot!

While Sebastian was clearly embarrassed as well walking up the stairs, he couldn't help the wide grin that curled his lips. He didn't know why he was so amused with her statement, but he knew he'd be doing a lot of praying that night.