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Chapter 7: How Do I Live
Immediately after Olivia had calmed down, Fin turned to the silenced squad room and glared at them to carry on. They all knew that after Olivia, Fin had the most say, and with this knowledge they also knew that if word of this got out he would serve their asses to them on a plate. So they did as they were told and tried to ignore the scenario that was unfolding before them. Nick guided Olivia into her office and beckoned to Fin, Amanda and Carisi to follow them. He shut the door and drew the blinds before turning to look at Olivia. The other three had all taken a seat or were leaning on a wall, but she just stood there.
"Do you want me to tell them?" He asked.
Immediately Fin's guard was up. "Tell us what?" He declared.
Olivia just shook her head slowly from side to side. She looked tired and worn and she hated the fact that she was about to tell them she had a disease that she couldn't fight. She turned and walked to the large airy windows that overlooked the city. One was slightly open and she lent on the window ledge taking large, long, deep breaths of the cold air. She didn't turn around to face them as she spoke. She couldn't bring herself to look them in the eye. Instead she simply stared, unblinking, over the city that lay before her. She spoke with a certain, unwavering voice, but there was a sense of sadness in her tone...
"I have early onset Alzheimer's disease."
She stopped and waited for a reaction and was surprised when she didn't get one. So instead she carried on.
"I didn't think it was that bad up until now, but clearly it's worse than I thought. I was diagnosed a couple of days ago and I wanted to wait to tell you. It's funny how life gets in the way of your plans isn't it? So this is me, telling you, that I'm dying. Hopefully I've got a little life in me yet so I'm gonna carry on at work for as long as possible, but when the guys at 1PP find out. That's it. I'll be forced to take early retirement and none of you will ever have to worry again."
For a moment, nobody spoke and Olivia didn't turn around. The quiet wasn't awkward and it fitted the mood. Everybody was processing the news and that was fine. That was okay. That was what needed to happen. Nobody cried. They were special victims unit detectives and not much made any of them cry nowadays. It was the sad reality of the job. Plus the fact that the guys were too macho for crying. Eventually though, the silence was broken by Fin. Olivia's longest, and most faithful friend.
"Whatever happens Liv we'll support you. Even if your not bossing us around." He said before the room returned to silence.
After yet another bout of prolonged quiet Fin suddenly spoke again, and what he said proved that he and Olivia were family as well as colleagues. It was something that nobody else would ever have dared to call the ferocious Olivia Benson...
"I got your back baby girl."
Olivia turned her head and looked at him. There were tears in her eyes and her hands shook slightly on the window ledge.
"Thank you." She whispered.
Sorry it's short and a bit naff, but I felt that I needed to update. Anyway please review and tell me what you think :)