Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.

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Chapter 13 – Overthinking it.

No One's POV.

Jade just wasn't sure which scrambled her brain more; the kiss from Barbie or the fact that she realized that was attracted to Tori. Attracted as in holding hands, dating, fun stuff in bed, etc…

Either way, her brain had been very scrambled. Not that she already had trouble with conflicting emotions and what not.

In one way, things were a bit clearer and in another, they were much more a lot less clear. It was quite maddening to the Goth.

After Barbie walked away from the DJ booth, Jade turned her attention to finding Tori again. She had to see her . "Maybe seeing her would help me confirm my feelings or help me dismiss them." Thought Jade.

But Jade didn't see Tori and wouldn't for several more minutes. Her absence would cause Jade to worry and that only made jade wonder why she was worried. By the questions in the Goth's head were multiplying like rabbits.

Finally after what seemed like an eternity, Tori again reappeared on the floor, Tray of drinks in hand. A huge sense of relief came to Jade as Tori was once again in view. As Jade watched Tori, She quickly noticed a bit of an extra spring in her step and her smile seemed a bit more genuine. It only made Jade's focus on Tori, more intense.

Once Jade laid eyes on Tori, she literally couldn't look away. It also made her wonder just why she attracted to her at all. Well at the moment she was showing a lot of skin and naturally that alone got Jade thinking a lot of things; new things. She'd wiggle her butt from time to time and now that Jade was aware of my feelings, she found it strangely pleasing.

She felt it, she really felt it an attraction to Tori. It was new and wonderful and scary all at the same time. Beyond the physical, was it her kindness, her goofy sense of humor, what? Jade simply didn't know.

For a half an hour she covertly watched her, trying vainly to make some sense of all the questions and feelings that were pulsing through her. There was so much to digest and come to terms with, not to mention a thousand new questions, Jade barely knew where to start. But the answers weren't coming, which only angered and frustrated the Goth. Jade was so intent on her thoughts and Tori, that she nearly jumped out of her skin when Barbie tapped her on the shoulder.

"FUCK, you scared me half to death." Jade hissed with an accompanying, angry glare.

Barbie giggled in return which only furthered Jade's frustration "Looks like someone's getting a bit tense. Relax Jade, All those negative waves; you're seriously killing the vibe here."

"I can't figure it out, why am I here, why do I like Tori of all the girls that I know, why didn't I pick up on this sooner, why…." Jade started to rant in utter frustration, before, Barbie put her hand over Jade's mouth.

"Jade stop, you're trying to figure it out all at once. Don't even try, cause you're not going to succeed and the only thing you'll wind up with is probably a massive headache. These things take time, it did for me and it will for you. I'm beginning to regret throwing you back for Tori's sake."

Only then did Barbie, take her hand off of Jade's mouth, allowing her to speak.

"Why!"

"Because I have half a mind to take you in the bathroom and give you the fucking of your life, maybe then you'll be able to relax and don't bother to think you'd be able to resist me, you wouldn't."

The strange thing about that statement, is that Jade was fairly certain, that is precisely what Barbie would have done if she was able to.

"What the hell am I supposed to do then?" An exasperated Jade said.

Barbie, looked up at the ceiling for a moment, while putting a finger on her chin. "Hmmm…you're in a bar that has lots of naked girls and scantily clad waitresses, including one you have feelings for. Why don't you do what everyone else here is doing and just drink some drinks and enjoy the show."

"Huh?"

"You like watching Tori, can you at least answer that?"

"Of course, you're the one that got me started with this stuff." Jade sputtered.

From her tray, Barbie put a full shot glass and a beer on the railing next to Jade. "Here's what you do, you take this beer and shot of 151 and simply enjoy watching Tori. Just enjoy it and stop analyzing it. Maybe just maybe, you'll start to get some answers. You're over thinking it. It's like an art museum; you don't have to know a fucking thing about the paintings or the artists to enjoy the pictures themselves. Tonight, just appreciate her, nothing else."

Jade had to admit that Barbie was right, as she was stressing herself by trying to digest this all at once. Jade grabbed the shot, quickly downed it, took a deep breath and exhaled.

"You're right."

A rather pleased looking smile appeared on Barbie's face. "Chalk one up for the busty blond with a body that won't quit."

"She still doesn't know I'm here?"

Barbie shook her head. "No, she's focused on her job and as I said, she's working the tables near the main stage, she won't come into the back, that's mine and Gwen's area. Look I have to get back to work, remember just relax."

It was a lot to digest, too much to digest in too much and thanks to Barbie, Jade knew that she didn't need to figure it out.

Knowing what she needed to do, Jade took a sip of her beer and turned her attention to Tori. This time she didn't bother to think why she liked Tori, or anything else for that matter. Jade was used to being angry, irritated, and easily bored, it was almost second nature to her, but she was amazed how easy it was to watch Tori.

Jade found it all to easy to watch Tori as she skillfully balanced her tray of drinks, all the while dodging crowd and grabby drunk customers. Jade studied every bit of her from her long brown hair, to her smile to her legs. She had seen them before of course, but now she had a new perspective.

More importantly Jade dropped her own defenses and let herself be mesmerized by Tori's beauty. For the first time, she truly appreciated beauty that was in front of her. Time passed, the crowed moved around her, but Jade soon became unware of those things. The only thing in her universe was Tori. Was it love, was it lust, was it a mere fancy, Jade didn't care, all she knew is that she couldn't look away.

Finally her spell was broken by the bartender calling last call. Looking up at the clock, Jade could see it was just past 1:30 and she needed to get home.

Jade turned while taking one last look said softly.

"Did my heart love till now? forswear it, sight!

For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night."

It was a line from Romeo and Juliet, a play she had done in freshman year at Hollywood arts.. The line itself was the very first thing that Romeo said upon laying eyes upon Juliet, as he had been stricken with love at first sight. Though she was very unsure of what this all meant or could lead, to the line seemed particularly fitting.

That said, Jade turned and headed towards the exit.

A few minutes later, Barbie, tapped Tori on the shoulder, "You're admirer just left. I saw her on the way out."

Tori turned and smiled. "She was here watching me the whole night. She had this look of wonder on her face."

"I know, at first she was all trying to figure it out and in the process stressing herself silly."

"Oh no." Tori said with a look of noticeable concern.

"I told her to stop thinking about it and just enjoy the show. Just admire you and not to think about it. I think you two are on the right track. I told her to just take it one step at t time."

Tori's smile faded. "I can only hope, we've both got issues and there are things that could easily bring all of this to a dead stop, no actually destroy everything between us."

"That bad…huh!"

"She's got an ex-who liked to knock her around, the problem is she's still very co-dependent about it. Part of her wants to go back and up to now, she's always gone back. Then there's me, besides, my recent troubles, I still have a hard time looking myself in the mirror."

Barbie's face took on a rare serious look. "What did you do?"

"Nothing! Look I've got a tray of drinks to deliver. Thanks for taking care of Jade for me."

"Boy do you two need it bad. Granted I'd to the exact opposite, but you need to just take is slow."

"I will"

About 45 minutes later, Jade was lying under the blanket on Tori's couch, vainly trying to sleep. Out of the club, she was inundated by all the worries, emotions and questions she had managed to push away. Even her desire to return to Beck had returned with a vengeance.

Alone in the dark, Jade felt even more troubled and confused than before. It was then she heard the key in the lock turning, meaning Tori had gotten home from work.

Not sure what to say, Jade closed her eyes and pretended to be asleep. Tori however, knowing Jade was at the club, strongly suspected Jade was still awake.

Tori was also somewhat troubled. Granted she had real hope for the future, she also knew there were several very real obstacles in the way.

Tori decided to play along and just do as she always did when she came home from The Playpen, go to the bathroom and go to sleep. She wanted to say so much more, but like Jade was at a loss for words.

A few minutes later after coming out of the bathroom, Jade could hear Tori slowly open her bedroom door and knew that in another moment, it would close once again as it always had. But Jade knew that if she ever wanted to move forward she needed to act in spite of her emotional baggage and at least try to act on the new feelings that had surfaced.

"Stop being a coward and do something West!" Jade quickly thought.

"Hey Vega!" Jade called out a moment later.

Tori had suspected Jade was awake, but was still rather surprised that she had said anything.

"Did I wake you! Sorry if I did." Responded Tori, acting as if it were a normal night.

"No, I was just up late watching tv and just lay down a short while ago."

"Ok….do you need anything. I was about to go to bed?"

Jade found her words suddenly stuck in her throat and it actually to her a moment to get them out.

"Do you want to do something tomorrow?"

In the dark, unseen by Jade, Tori couldn't help but smile. "Like what do you mean?"

"We can hit the mall like the old days. I know we've not been much more than roommates, but I think it may be nice change of pace. Besides, with the cold winter and it finally being spring, I think be good to just get out for a bit. I'd understand if you don't want to."

Jade felt very awkward about asking Tori just to go to the mall, even more so than the previous time she asked Tori to breakfast. Jade, wasn't used to this uncertainty and actually hated it, she was moving in new territory and had no idea if Tori would want to do anything with her at all.

"Sure. How about we talk about it when I get up."

Now it was Jade's turn to smile in the dark. "That sounds fine. Good night."

"Good night Jade." Tori said before vanishing into her room.

Tori once in her room, said a hopeful prayer that this could lead to something. Of course she had the advantage as she knew Jade was more interested than a simple afternoon out. She would play it slow and hope to god, the old skeletons would stay in the closet where they belonged.

Outside on the couch, Jade was relieved that Tori said she was interested in going out. At the same time, she actually felt a little like she was betraying Beck for doing so. Again Jade found herself cursing her co-dependent nature. It was all to easy to watch Tori from afar in a crowded bar, interacting with her and making something happen was infinitely more complex and difficult.

Jade sighed. "Come on, even if she did like girls, it's not like I have any chance. I humiliated her in front of her father and made her look like a liar. It's probably pointless."

Her mind no less troubled, Jade then turned over, closed her eyes and tried again to go to sleep.

The line from Shakespeare Jade recites, is from Romeo & Juliet – Act 1, Scene 5.