Thank you all for your reviews, I hope you'll enjoy the early chapter.
Year 66, second half of February, Creneis Town.
He was free. For the first time since his Games, Finnick was free to walk the streets he'd grown in. He smiled at people, not too brightly, but wanting them to see him as one of them. It worked, erasing some of the awkwardness. He saw it in their eyes, the shadow left by the arena, but they returned his greeting and didn't hide their children when he passed.
"In Creneis Town, we'll readily forget what you did to get that big house on the cliff, Sweetie," Instructor Rivers said, her blond curls still sticking out in every direction and her smile big and outrageous. "It's what you'll do now that you have it that matters." Her smile turned sympathetic. "Your friends are young, so are you, but you're you. Teenagers," she said fondly, "you can't imagine being friends if people are hiding things from you. Welcome back to real life, Finnick Odair and don't think all the drama will be in the Capitol. At least them, you can afford to dismiss, manipulate and hate. Be patient with your friends, it wasn't hard just for you."
Finnick nodded. Her first words echoed Mags', but he'd desperately needed to hear them from someone who wasn't family, but that part on friends was a rock at the pit of his stomach.
His hands were clammy as he saw Marina, Shale and the guys for the first time in months. But after they hugged him, grabbed him by the arm and started dragging him around, excitedly filling him in, he dared believe that his fears had been unfounded. FLASH welcomed him back but they didn't smother him, although that may have been Shale, Marina and Sheller sending death glares to anyone who dared try. The three, Krill and Rhain brought him up to date, telling him about their classmates, the time the Homeguards had spent here, and sharing their projects for the following year. Finnick relaxed, joyfully slipping back into old habits. He didn't attend the lessons anymore, but he came often in the afternoons. They asked him few questions, happy with what he volunteered.
It also came as a surprise when, after a week, Marina broke of a sentence to kiss Shale.
Shale didn't look surprised at all. Neither did the others.
Marina smiled guiltily. "We've been dating since December. Figure we'd let you settle in before dropping the bomb on you."
Finnick's eyebrows shot up, staring from one to the other. His brain finally processed the news and he grinned at the nineteen-year-old. Damn. Shale had seemed both so much older than them, and yet the same, back when he and Finnick had sparred. He shouldn't have been so surprised. He and Marina were both outspoken and passionate, and they were just three years apart.
"If we'd won, I'd probably be dating Delfina, if she'd want me," Finnick muttered. It slipped out, and his face fell, because he'd never admitted it before, not even to himself. But wasn't that what it was? Love. The person who made you feel comfortable, even in the worst place humans had designed, who made you laugh and think, and had your back. He remembered that night, where Delfina had told him about her family. He'd felt needed, and she'd kept him standing, she'd helped him be strong enough so he could win, alone.
He still dreamed about her.
"We know. The way you were looking at her, in that water tank," Sheller said, sharing a knowing glance with Rhain. "Wasn't just because she was hot."
Krill looked surprised, blinking as he always did when he realized he'd been oblivious, but Shale just smiled at Finnick, a shadow in his eyes at the mention of Delfina.
Finnick chuckled, a wry grin lighting his face again. Damn. He'd missed that, her and Shale growing close. Marina accepting that she was a girl. A spike of jealousy surged through him, because it was something so big, with what Marina had gone through before FLASH, and he'd missed it.
"I wish I'd been there," Finnick said.
He took a deep breath. They'd been friends for years and he'd been away six months, of course he'd missed things. They'd come to see him, they were happy to have him back. He needed to get over himself.
"I want to help," Shale said. "We all do."
"You are helping," Finnick said, feeling a little caged as they circled him.
"I already fell off a cliff for you," Rhain said, and it was no accusation, just a pointed statement. "You're holding back. We've been giving you time, we wanted just to have fun together, see you good, but we need to talk."
Damn it.
"Friends are equals," Krill said. Rhain nodded vehemently, gesturing at Krill as if to say he's the smart one, listen to him.
The others were staring at him intently.
"There are things I can't say because the Capitol doesn't want victors talking," Finnick said. "It doesn't mean I think I'm better than you or anything."
"But if we don't know those things, we won't know you," Sheller said. Sheller, the former bully, the one who understood power plays. Who knew how to get to people. Sheller shot Shale a glance, and Shale confirmed with a slow, grave nod.
Finnick's stomach churned. It used to be him they looked up to. He was so glad, that Shale had been there. Without Shale, they might have hated Finnick, not understanding the angle he had to play, but now he felt like he was being tested, and that he wasn't passing.
"Is this a condition? Will you stop talking to me?" Finnick's breath hitched. "Guys, they'd kill you."
The silence was thick and painful, and Marina was the first to speak.
"No, Finn, but I can't tell you my secrets if I know that you'll hold yours close to your heart forever. We can be friends, we are friends," Marina stressed fiercely, "but we can't be close friends, if you push us away, even if you have big solid reasons."
"We're not calling you a jerk," Rhain intervened, his nods punctuating Marina's words. "It's just this whole thing is screwed up."
Finnick felt ill. He saw nothing but affection and goodwill on the five faces. Shale, his friend and mentor before Mags, Marina, impulsive, sometimes violent, but solid and true, Sheller, who'd been his enemy and then his friend and helped him understand those who'd grown up abused, who had taught him to manipulate and lie. Krill, smart and imaginative with his plans and schemes, who'd made Finnick realize he wasn't half as clever as he thought he was, who'd forced him to think. Rhain, who just loved them fiercely, who was less smart, people savvy or charismatic but maybe the less calculating, the most loyal of the bunch.
"I'm so sorry you have to put up with those people," Marina said, her fists clenched and her face red as she backed into Shale, relaxing into his muscled frame. "You're such a better actor than I ever could be."
Rhain has bit his lip. "It does look like you're enjoying it."
"Of course it does," Shale said, his stern glare making Rhain look down. "That's TV."
"Force yourself to enjoy it enough and you will." Krill said, defiantly holding Shale's glare. "They're going to change you, Finnick, take what they like, ask you to discard the rest." He blinked, as if having an argument with himself. "It's just some weeks every year, short enough to be able to pretend, isn't it?"
"If I'm popular, I can influence them." Finnick said, thinking of Paylor, of fashion trends and Glynn's words. "I can't do things half-way and hope to stay pure. It's bullshit. It's either all or nothing and nothing isn't an option, not for me. I'm the youngest victor ever…" His jaw hardened as he looked at Krill. He could tell them, that he'd be sold, but he couldn't. He knew he couldn't, because the Capitol didn't want the truth out, and because he couldn't handle the look in their eyes. "I will change myself, on my terms."
He shivered, realizing he'd never open up completely to them, ever again. There was a wall, a dark spiky wall and they were on the other side.
He shivered again, afraid they'd disappear if he did something stupid.
"You'd say it was planned, not impulsive, in the arena?" Krill said, his voice tiny, blushing as he dared tackle the elephant in the room after a week of circling around it.
"Most of it was planned," Finnick admitted, hoping it would be the end of that line of questioning. "Delfina kept me focused, on how to look for the cameras, on what to do. I had to get out quickly, or I'd have gone mad."
The memories were there, at the edge of his mind, and the voices, Delfina and Snow, whispering in his ear. He didn't want to listen.
"Why did you kill that first girl, the one you kissed?" Marina suddenly said. "I get the others, but her, why?"
"Guys, we said there was a line to the questions," Sheller said with a furious glare at Marina.
"And as long as Finnick stays on that side of the line, we won't know him," Marina replied stubbornly.
Rhain and Shale didn't meet Finnick's eyes and Sheller looked cross but embarrassed, and that's when Finnick knew they believed it. He wondered how hard it had been, for them to wait so long to ask.
"You don't know everything about me," Krill intervened, and Finnick loved him for his support. "We all have secrets, why can't Finnick have some?"
Marina exhaled sharply. "When what you do is insane, you've got to explain it. When you're killing people, you've got to make it make sense. Especially when you say it was all planned. You're fine, Finn, you're bloody fine! What kept you going? How could you do it?" she shouted. "You got a bit weird in the Spring, after Merrill died, and we left you space, and I know that whatever was going on in your mind is why you stayed on that stage."
Finnick stiffened. He hadn't realized they'd noticed. Had he really been that self-absorbed? Spring was when he'd learned, that there was a rebellion, that Mags was at the center of it.
"She's convinced that had they talked to you," Shale said, his arm around Marina as the girl took deep shaky breaths to calm herself down. "You'd not have gone."
"And you'd be dead, Shale," Finnick snapped, his lips set in a snarl. He didn't want to talk about it. Why couldn't they drop it?
"And so many in Galene would not be," Marina whispered, her words blade through his stomach. "There was almost war, Finn, and you refuse to tell us about it. You're treating us like kids, and act all pissed off by our questions. This isn't affecting just you, it's not just about the arena. The whole of Four got dragged in."
"Your grandma died," Krill said, empathy clear in his eyes. "We know it wasn't an accident. It's just… We hate not knowing. What if the Homeguards come back? We couldn't sleep at night, it was horrible."
"Make up your mind," Sheller said. He was angry, but not at Finnick. "Tell us how we can be. If you must have secrets, it's fine, Finn, but we won't be us, anymore. You changed side, moved to the victors', the people who know. Like Krill said, whatever equality there was is gone."
"Can't you pull us in?" Krill said, a painful frown betraying his fierce regret.
"You're maybe the only one he could, Krill," Shale said, "because you're smart and calm, but I think it's a stupid idea. Finnick can't bargain with them, as long as he has too much to lose. The Capitol can't get Mags, but us? We're nobodies," he said, his jaw locked in disgust.
"The Capitol can go rot," Marina spat, but everyone knew she didn't believe it.
Finnick stared at them, he tasted the fear, finally out in the open. He'd been afraid of being rejected because of what he'd done, but he saw they could have accepted it. But he realized now that no loyalty could make up for the fact Esperanza had sailed out before her time, that food shipments from the Capitol had stopped coming and that Homeguards had lived at FLASH for months.
"Tell us what to do, Finn," Sheller said, his arms open in dismay. "Shale's right, we can't hang out to feel good if the only that'll happen is you miserable and us buried."
Finnick was glad he'd savored every morsel of the last week he'd spent with his friends, those last carefree moments; because he now knew he'd never live any more like them.
"We're not saying to stop talking to us," Rhain said, slapping Finnick on the back with a strained smile. "We'd be sad if you did."
But you're a victor.
Finnick dragged his feet out of FLASH, oblivious to his surroundings, his head spinning as the last remnants of the world he had known, his childhood, collapsed around him. It's the wise decision, he told himself. He'd never felt so lost.
"Hey, Finnick, can I use your name to buy diving gear?"
Finnick turned. It was Annie Cresta, she looked deep in thought.
"I got into an argument with the diving instructors. You know the reefs, where Mags got stuck when she was a kid, there's caverns there and they're crawling with life," Annie said excitedly, barely pausing for a breath. "They're left alone because people say they're cursed because of all the ships that crashed there, but I'm sure it's worth a go and with a good suit, I wouldn't have to wait for summer."
"Sure," Finnick said weakly.
"Thanks," Annie replied with a broad smile. "We could make that whole area into shellfish farms if it turns out suitable. I wouldn't steal your money for silly stuff. Don't listen to the people complaining about the winter, it's worth it, having you back," she added, waving before she rushed off.
Finnick's lips twitched as he watched the younger girl run, her red-brown hair bouncing on her shoulders. Maybe he'd be fine, just with helping people, making them happy, even if they weren't able to be close.
Her parting words made his smile broaden stupidly.
Year 66, late February, Creneis Town.
Mags' hands were clasped before her as she lectured the eighteen-year-old.
"You'll keep a low profile, Sawyer," she told the future volunteer of the 66th Games. "After Finnick, you can't hope to pull off a front scene persona." And it wouldn't fit Sawyer. He was too short, too soft-spoken, too plain. "You'll be the ally. Always there, loyal, selfless, play as if there can be multiple victors without ever saying it, until it's time to step in."
Sawyer's story was bleak, like most her trainees. A mother who'd dumped him and his older sister on their uncle's doorstep when her husband had died, an uncle who couldn't afford it; his sister had taken up the bottle, working on a ship until her drunkenness went out of control, and then she sobered, just long enough to find another ship. Fleeing. Sawyer's escape was in danger. He was addicted to it, depression slowly claiming him when the days grew too calm. He was resourceful, and incredibly brave, too moral to go on the side of crime. He'd spied for peacekeepers between his ninth and twelfth birthday and it had been Lycorias' doctor who'd contacted Mags.
They –the peacekeepers- tell me to patch him up. He gets in trouble with every petty gang member, drug dealer, bully shop keeper, thieving sailor. They'll find a corpse floating in the bay one of these days, and it'll be him.
"I can be the ally, but Mags, I don't want to be the backstabber," he said with a frown. His brown eyes weren't accusing, he just knew himself. He looked trustworthy, nonthreatening and mature, and Mags had always found it easy, to speak to him like an adult.
"Who said you'll ally with the good guy?"
If Sawyer won, Mags would be thrilled. But Sawyer, by himself, would never manage to reveal his potential to sponsors in time, and she feared that he would not be able to kill, not someone he'd sided with. She'd rarely had a trainee so selfless. Worse, Mags feared a victor's life would lead him back into depression, and slowly death. She thought of Eirene, and a deep chill seeped into her bones.
Sawyer frowned, his face an open book. "No Career pack?"
"Not this year." She could see it in his eyes. What about Azurine? "Finnick asked for two victors," she said. "Delfina was beloved by the Capitol. It caused problems. A Four pair would get shot down by the Gamemakers before you'd reached the Cornucopia. Let me deal with her."
"You're right… Ally," Sawyer said, his eyes widening as he began thinking. "So basically, since we're past the weapons and survival stage and I lack the larger-than-life personality they love on TV, you'll teach me to say profound things to make the crazy-but-interesting Career I'd shadow seem like a human being?"
Mags smiled because Sawyer was sharp. She'd been using him as her personal police at FLASH for years. If she'd not asked, he'd have done it otherwise. Had that boy been Capitol, he could have worked with criminal lawyers, with investigators, but in the Districts, there was nothing for him. Mags would have made him one of her agents but Sawyer had to act, and when boredom didn't have him withdraw into a shell, it made dangerously reckless. The doctor had been right: Sawyer would seek out and take down the shadiest individuals of Four until one of them took him down.
"I've met the Two male volunteer," Mags said, a peculiar expression flitting over her face as she thought of Wolfe.
She seriously wanted Lyme to have to deal with that kind of victor?
Sawyer snorted, a huge smile splitting his lips. "I don't think that's how the Games are meant to be played," he said, looking delighted. "How badly will I want to punch him?"
"I think he may be a sociopath with delusions of grandeur."
Sawyer snorted again. "This is going to be fun."
Mags' fond smile froze slightly, because she knew he really meant it, that he lived for it, and that was why that precious eighteen-year-old would die for it.
"How will allying with him be useful?" Sawyer said, and now he was serious, very serious, because Sawyer had made it a condition. I'll play, because I have to, but I won't play just to become a name in a graveyard.
"We're trying to break the Games, to eventually get two victors by drilling the idea in the Capitol's mind. And we need a Career to win this year. You'll both be different than those who won the other years."
Sawyer nodded, purpose hardening his youthful face. No, he wasn't striking, or charismatic, but with some luck, he would make them care.
Mags already cared, and she truly wanted to believe in him.
Year 66, March, Victor's Village.
"I am not afraid of an army of lions led by a sheep; I am afraid of an army of sheep led by a lion," Finnick declared, an octave deeper than usual, his chin tilted upwards as he recited in front of the mirror.
He grinned and broke into peals of laughter when he caught Mags eyeing him quizzically.
"That's profound, Finnick," Mags said with a growing smile. He'd been spending the evenings muttering to himself, scripts in hand, ever since he'd come back from his week in the Capitol.
"I'm to be Alexander the Great. It's a war play, it gets a bit sexual, but it's a small part and I remain clothed on stage." Finnick's lips split into a huge smile. "I saw the women actors, with Greek-era makeup, they're smoldering hot. I don't understand why the Capitol prefers the new and crazy to what has been proven universally beautiful."
Mags smiled wryly. She was so glad Finnick had gone and returned safely. He seemed to share that feeling, because he was remarkably giddy. "The new makes them feel unique and they convince themselves it's the most attractive thing there is," she said.
Finnick rolled his eyes. "The other actors get more diverse acting and longer texts. I'm mostly to be the charismatic warrior throughout," he colored slightly, "and flirt with an officer at some point, but it's not too mortifying. I'm actually pretty satisfied about that role."
"You won the Games without ever insulting the Capitol," Mags pointed out, squeezing his arm proudly. "That gives you credibility as an actor."
Finnick snorted. "The audience for theater seems to be tolerable. The comedians are afraid my presence will get all the stupid teens to wreak havoc in the crowds, so on half the nights, they're only allowing in the people who've had a theater membership for at least a year, and the other nights they're resigned to having to allow the fans in."
Mags smiled. She had done their best to make sure Finnick would be exposed to the safer sides of the Capitol. She was glad she hadn't failed.
"Did they give you your calendar?"
"Yes," Finnick replied. "Three days a month for the play, two days for fashion runs, and two weeks every other month for Scientia episodes. The scripts and everything I can practice here, and except for the fashion runs, I'll be working fourteen hours a day or so, so I shouldn't be stuck doing side-interviews or such."
That had been the plan. "About Scientia, has filming started?"
Finnick flushed spectacularly. "Yes." He cleared his throat. "Yes… it's… it's really informative." He grinned. "Nah, it's cool. Lorelei," Finnick shouted, "want to have a laugh?" He smiled sheepishly at Mags. "I have the unedited version, I was told to watch it to see how I looked and sounded and practice being better."
"But Professor, when you say a program a mutt, how do you do it? Like a computer?"
On screen, wide eyes and dressed like a model Capitol student, Finnick asked questions to the knowledgeable man in a white coat. It was cute, until they stuck him in a large cage illuminated with dodgy blue and greens, with a huge bear-mutt.
"I swear this was the tamest show I could sign him up for," Mags said when Cereus and Lorelei arched their eyebrows at her.
"They are programmed to react to pheromones," Finnick commented, his voice mimicking the professor's as he watched himself almost get murdered on screen. "No matter how impressive, we are totally in control," he said airily as the bear stopped inches above his face. "We can program a couple orders which can combine into specific sequences. What few people know is that the brain pattern we use for all mutts is derived from insects."
"Insects? Cool," Lorelei commented, biting back a teasing smirk. Finnick stuck his tongue out.
"Could strong smells paralyze a mutt?" Mags said in sudden keen interest.
"The pheromones are small sacks in their noses that implode when the electronic signal is given, it'll overpower anything from outside," Finnick said, straightening at being the knowledgeable one in the room. "But smash their nose in with a mace, and the mutts will go insane. If they have hormone patches, it's often on four inches down on the inside of their hind legs."
"That's useful to know for the trainees, but war mutts are unsophisticated compared to arena ones. They're just unleashed to hunt people," Mags mused grimly, "but tell us whatever you learn."
"Snow isn't stupid enough to reveal information that would nullify the Capitol's weapons," Lorelei said. "Is he?"
"It'd be too stupid to let something useful slip past us on that assumption," Mags replied. "He doesn't proof read the scripts."
Lorelei stood up to pick up the phone when the loud ring trilled through the house.
"Yes of course, want me to send him over?" Lorelei said. "It's Angelo," she added for Finnick's sake.
She frowned. "Everything alright?"
"Should we get medicine or anything?" She said after a pause.
Finnick had stood up, worry plain on his face when Lorelei put the phone down.
"Your parents would rather you came for dinner in two days than tonight. It would seem your mother is very hormonal and she doesn't want you to see her in that state," Lorelei said. "Angelo sounded harried."
Finnick nodded, his expression slightly strained. He generally had dinner twice a week with his parents and Mags hoped they'd grow comfortable with each other again.
He turned to the window, scrunching up his face as the rain beat down on the angry seas. "It's probably for the best."
Mags stiffened in apprehension as she watched the last of the ships be tied down for the night. She didn't like this weather at all. The smaller, older crafts were moored on the beaches in prevision of a storm.
The whales had been sighted migrating, and it was the peak of the hunting season and Mags hoped that they would not pay the destruction of the meteorological radars, a destruction done in her name, with the lives of ambitious sailors.
The next day, Creneis Town.
The wailing sirens had everyone stop and turn terrified eyes towards the windows.
"Everyone out!" Mags shouted, her order quickly relayed by Alyx and the other instructors. "To the shelters."
Cereus.
Mags' head snapped instinctively to Victors' Village. She jogged as quickly as her muscles could safely take her. And stopped.
Sawyer was waiting for her, on her motorcycle. "Mags, I can't in good conscience let you do that. I'll go get him."
Mags blinked, first impressed he'd realized she'd go back for her vehicle, then registering his words.
He knew how to drive. All her Careers knew basic vehicles, just in case.
"Do that, and don't get killed," Mags ordered. She cursed then, furious a boy with such qualities had to be so screwed up that the arena was the only solution.
"Mama, get over here," Lorelei shouted. Her eyes widened as she saw Sawyer speed away on the motorcycle. "He's insane," she muttered. "Do try and save him."
Mags bit back another very explicit curse as she hurried to safety with her daughter.
"I saw Pearl, Larimar head out with the kids. Alyx and Lamprey weren't far behind," Lorelei said. "We're lucky it hit at lunch time when everyone was in the same place. Finn was in the barracks, he'll be fine."
The sky was leaden and they clawed their way to the nearest shelter, one of three, fighting the increasingly violent wind. Mags craned her head for her family amidst the chaos of peacekeepers and panicked people, she found the mayor instead.
"Got a signal from the Fox, she was out five miles, said it was heading straight here," Flyak Corduroy said breathlessly. Five miles, ten minutes warning at best. "Sickleport got the warning too. Luckily few boats were out."
With a tornado coming from the sea, few was already few too many.
The wind howled and screamed as the peacekeepers cracked the shelter door open.
Mags smiled in relief at her husband, Gilly was with them. She blanched when she saw the blood on Cereus' arm. "Flying piece of wood, shallow gash, relax," he said, kissing her cheek. He patted Sawyer's shoulder. "If it comes to a choice -"
"Two is for the grand show," Mags agreed, "of course I want Sawyer to win."
"Well that's reassuring," Sawyer said with a cheeky grin, his eyes burning with excitement, as if he lived to see tornadoes strike Creneis Town. "I'll get a roll to see who's missing," he said, clapping his hands and starting to give orders along with the Instructors.
The tornadoes had been two, none of those safely in the shelters had seen them but they'd heard the agony of doors wrenched from their hinges, of wooden beams and roofs torn apart. Miraculously, the docks, FLASH and Victors' Village had been spared, but two gaping trails, twenty yards wide, tore through Creneis' center like gaping wounds.
The people stared at the disaster in shocked silence.
"Well," Mags said in the mayor's megaphone. "Who still remembers how much fun we had fifty years ago when we rebuilt this town?"
A ragged cheer went up, and it was mostly relief, at being alive. It had been seventeen years, since a tornado had struck the town so squarely and back then they'd had warning, people had had the time to grab their valuables and only one unfortunate woman had died.
"First person who tries to loot will be crucified," Mags added, her voice low and menacing, "Peacekeepers, help out and make sure no-one is trapped under rubble," she could see Sawyer and some others had already gone, "and those who have nowhere to sleep get your belongings to FLASH."
People started to move. It looked orderly enough that Mags didn't feel the need to issue more orders.
She saw Finnick come to her, a frown marring his brow. "Can't find Ma and Pa," he said, worried.
"Keep calm, lots of people will turn up," Cereus said, but they too were searching for Sol with growing apprehension.
They found Sol, but soon a peacekeeper found Mags. He was drenched and shivering, a red slash marring his cheek and a cool, resigned fury clinging to his bones. "Boy called Barnacle, girl, Annie, said they're yours?"
Mags nodded, horrified to think they'd not found shelter in time.
"They're in custody," the man said, his voice trembling. He walked with a slight limb.
Custody? "Stay here," Mags told Cereus. "Keep an eye on everything."
Barnacle was sitting in the corner of the holding cell, his face buried in his knees. He looked dry, but Annie had a towel wrapped around her and her hair was still dripping with water. She stood up and rushed to the bars when she saw Mags.
"Why were you swimming while there was an alert?" Mags said, incredulous.
"There were migrating turtles. I'd never seen a big turtle. I saw them," she added with a weak smile. She was shaking her head, wincing slightly, as if to get water out of her ears.
Mags wondered how they'd get that girl to see that, despite being an exceptional swimmer, she was not immortal. Annie was hardly stupid, academically she was in the top quarter, but her curiosity always seemed to win over what little wisdom she had. "You're lucky you got out safely."
The peacekeeper cleared his throat.
"I c- couldn't let her d- d- drown!" Barnacle shouted from his curled up position. "I- I'm sorry," he added, his whole body trembling.
Mags' breath stuck in her throat. "What happened, officer?"
"Tyde is dead. Tyde is dead because that boy took a rock and disarmed me and pointed the bloody Taser at Tyde and told him to dive. Tyde said no, kid shot me in the leg. Tyde dived," the man said, his voice ragged, as if he was still in shock. "Tyde got to her," he pointed at Annie, "he's strong and got her closer to shore despite the currents, but you don't fight the sea when it's like that. Your kid dived under the current, got back out, Tyde never did. The tornado passed right next to us," he said, wiping his bloodied cheek, "I thought we were all going to die."
"He saved her, he should b- be proud," Barnacle hiccuped, tears spilling from his eyes.
"Mags, I feel for the kids, I know he never meant murder, but murder happened. He didn't just shout or shove us, he used that Taser, he knew precisely how to use that rock," the man said with a grimace, "and what he demanded from Tyde was suicide. Had the girl been less good a swimmer, they'd be both dead."
Mags squeezed the man's hand, aware that he was struggling to be fair despite his friend's death, that he could demand avoxing and the law would back him up. They were all Fours now, those who kept the law in their towns, but Mags knew that didn't mean they would allow crimes to go unpunished.
"I think I could have swum out, I just got surprised. Galene's currents get very strong too," Annie said, biting her lip, "I –"
"Can you tell that cute little freak to at least pretend to act like she's feeling something?" The peacekeeper snarled. "At least the boy looks sorry."
Annie flinched as if struck. She looked down, her eyes shimmering with tears. "I didn't want anyone to die," she protested. Her breath hitched, "I'm sorry Tyde died, I didn't –"
Her and Barnacle were both crying now. Mags shut her eyes briefly, willing herself to remain calm and composed. "Please unlock the cell, officer, they won't run," she said.
"I should have your tongue cut off for taking and using my weapon," he replied, his word barely above a whisper. Mags was afraid that in his emotionally fragile state, the man would snap. She was much too old for any type of physical confrontation. "Murder is execution."
"You can't do that!" Annie shouted.
The man stared at Annie, hate crawling into his eyes. "Be glad that stupidity isn't a crime," he breathed.
Mags looked at Barnacle. This was the second time he accidentally killed a man. The first had been his father, a drunk. It had been one of the bad nights and Barnacle had climbed onto furniture to avoid a blow, and the shelves had fallen off. It had been the mother who'd dropped Barnacle at Lycorias' orphanage. Take him or drown him, she'd said. A year later he got tested for FLASH, and he passed. The caretakers said he hadn't stuttered, before the accident.
Barnacle had a round, chubby face and looked younger than his years. Mags stared into his guilt-ridden eyes. Some of her students had the shadow, the shadow that could be morphed into volunteers, but she could count on one hand the ones so steeped in darkness that FLASH couldn't heal them. Barnacle wasn't that far gone, but the shadow was there.
But he'd murdered one man too many. It unfortunately didn't matter, that it had been to save Annie.
"Barnacle, you'll volunteer," Mags said, feeling hollow.
"That's years away," the man whispered, an edge to his tone. "You sure they'll survive that long? A five year old knows not to step in the water when the sea's stormy."
"I had to learn to swim in bad seas," Annie whispered heatedly. "I didn't ask for help!"
"Shut up!" He stood up, the cell door clicking open as he turned the keys in the lock. "Fine, go volunteer, boy," he said, staring down at Barnacle. "A life for a life, it's fair enough. You even have a chance of getting out."
"Officer, go to a doctor, you're in shock," Mags said. She'd warn the first peacekeeper she'd find. "Thank you," she added, "for bringing them back safely."
The man waved her away, kicking the cell door shut with a groan of rage.
"I know you're sorry. You're not a freak, Annie" Mags said when they were outside, both teenagers holding her hands.
Annie sniffed. "Fours are more than allies, they're partners and we're already partners. I'm not letting Barnacle go in alone. Maybe we can get two victors this time," she said earnestly.
Mags froze, at a loss of words in face of such unexpected determination. "He's one year younger," she found herself saying, belatedly realizing what a stupid answer that was.
"I-I'll go when she's eighteen. I-I'll protect her and she'll p-protect me and the one who fails will win," Barnacle whispered, raising his head to face Mags, and her heart broke as she noticed how much more fluid his speech was, even under stress, after just one year at FLASH, with Annie to give him affection, and to silence the teasing.
"Wouldn't you rather have Annie far away from the Games?" Mags said, her chest tightening. After seeing them die, it was always the most miserable time, choosing the volunteers.
Barnacle paused, closing off, but his eyes kept moving as he dragged his feet back to FLASH and Mags knew he would answer.
"She wants t-to c-come," he finally said. "Don't make her volunteer unprepared."
"You don't think I'd let him go, would you? I have no one else," Annie said very seriously. "He saved my life."
She whimpered, shaking her head again, her hand going to her ear.
"Annie, what's wrong?" Mags said, concerned.
"My ear hurts, I dived too deep to get out," she muttered. "My ears have been a throbbing on and off for years, but it usually goes away when I stay dry a week or two, and I've been getting stuff for infections. Now it's really hurting."
Otitis was one thing, almost inevitable, but her ears had been hurting, chronically? And Annie still dived in the gelid water?
Upon seeing Mags' alarm, horror dawned on Annie's face. "I can still dive, time will heal it, won't it? It always does."
Mags pursed her lips. Reckless child. Alyx, the diving instructors, no one had noticed? But if Annie had never told anyone of the pain… That girl had been taught the risks! "You need a doctor," Mags said sharply.
"If it won't, and I can't dive, then you can't stop me from volunteering," Annie whispered, her expression darker than Mags had ever seen it. Her eyes flew open. "Can you get me medicine, from the Capitol?"
Mags' jaw clenched, she suddenly was so very tired. "Unless you volunteer, child, I'm never getting clearance for that."
They walked through the devastated town, and Mags wondered how a day which had started normally had gone so bad.
"Don't tell anybody of this, not until I figure things out. Both of you stay out of water."
"I promise," Barnacle said in a tiny voice.
Annie nodded solemnly.
Year 66, March, Creneis.
Finnick didn't want to see anyone.
It was El Cambio, everyone was in the water, changing the ropes and sails of every ship and craft, but Finnick had no joy or energy to give.
The guys came each day, and he was glad, glad that they cared but glad they left quickly. There was nothing to say. He sat at the edge of the cliff, cross legged almost over the precipice. It was a beautiful day, almost warm.
They were gone. His Ma and Pa. They'd sailed out, with a whaling vessel. They'd found a crew despite the orange flags, promising bonuses, and who would deny a victor's parents with over twenty years of whaling experience behind them? Of the seven, four had made it back in a raft, but not them.
She'd lost the child. That's why his Ma hadn't wanted to see him that night. Finnick cursed himself over and over again for not having picked up the phone. If it had been him and not Aunt Lorelei, he was sure he'd have recognized that something was wrong. That it wasn't just hormones. That his Dad hadn't been just exhausted.
His Ma had been thirty-nine, Finnick had seen Mags and Cereus draw collective breaths when the third month bar had passed. It seemed four months hadn't made the baby much safer.
Finnick's eyes burned. It had been a girl. He hated Aunt Gloria, for having kept the miscarriage a secret. He knew he couldn't blame her, not when his parents had just asked for the secret to be kept for two short days, just to collect themselves and break the horrible news to the rest of the family.
They'd sailed out, to have something to do, to forget. Finnick was sure they'd never meant to die. Just like everyone in the family, they had to move when things got bad, do something they were good at. But not like this, not in a sea already so dark and angry even before the tornadoes had struck.
A chiming voice broke through his thoughts. "Finnick, you don't look too busy."
Finnick's shoulders slumped. What? Seriously?
"Annie, what are you doing here?" He said, dismayed but unable to be angry because it was possible that Annie just hadn't been told. But why wasn't she at El Cambio?
Annie had thin ropes wrapped around her shoulder and what looked to be a heavy bag on her back. "I wanted to decorate FLASH, it's nice that everyone can do what they want with their dorms, but that it would be better, if the common rooms kept some trace of them. I thought a rope with everything FLASH stands for, like a garland…" She threw the bag down, it was full of shells, small fishing tools, pieces of hull and sail, fish bones and even tiny daggers, the kind they used at the market, but that reminded Finnick of swords.
"We could nail it above the conference hall," Annie said.
Finnick nodded. He agreed the hall lacked warmth, but he didn't feel like it at all. "Why me?"
"Because it's nice to be useful, even for the little things. That's why the peacekeepers all like your uncle Cereus. He's there, for the little things, he pays attention. He does favors even when he already had all the power he could wish for. That's what they say at least. You act a little like he's your dad and I loved that, impressing my dad."
Finnick's lips bloomed into a small smile. It tore at him, dad, because Angelo was his Pa and there was no confusion about who filled that role in his mind. His Pa had played with him and taught him to swim and ruffled his hair when he came back to school, but Annie was right on point, he'd love to see pride instead of sorrow when Cereus' eyes fell on him these days. He hated this… moping, this useless grief and anger that lead nowhere.
"It's the little things," Annie said solemnly.
Finnick impulsively planted a kiss on her cheek. "Thank you." She didn't ask question, just things he could do, and right now, she was the most relaxing person Finnick knew.
Annie just stared at him wide eyed before smiling and giving him the ropes. "Come on, we should have it done by nightfall."
After an hour, Finnick's fingers were burning. "I hate ropes," he said, viciously securing a knot.
Annie laughed, shaking her head slightly as she did. "You spoiled kid."
Finnick glowered, stung, as she continued to laugh at him while nimbly tying her own ropes.
Year 66, March, Creneis.
It had been two weeks and Annie's eardrum weren't healing, worse, there was an infection in both her ears, and it was more serious than regular otitis. Her throat had swollen and her hearing and balance were becoming rapidly impaired. Many divers went deaf in one ear in Four, but rarely before their thirties. It seemed no one had realized how much time Annie Cresta had spent in the water.
Mags had no choice. She had to break the news to Finnick.
"I'm going to the Capitol with you this time," she said.
Finnick gave her a small smile. He squeezed her hand. "For new radars?" He said, grief still fresh in his eyes.
Mags was proud to see he'd kept active, learning his scripts and practicing his memory, helping Gilly with the mail, talking to peacekeepers, about everything they'd seen in the other Districts. She made sure they talked, that Finnick wouldn't blame himself.
"Yes," she said.
"I'll give them a good sob story on why tornadoes are evil," Finnick said, a small sad smile lighting his face. "They won't be able to refuse."
Mags hugged him, her own heart also weeping for Tyna and Angelo, for the baby that had never had a chance to draw a breath.
"I also need medicine for one of the new Career applicants," she said in his chest.
Year 66, late March, Creneis.
Finnick knocked on Gilly's door, his eyes red from lack of sleep. He hadn't been to FLASH in the week he'd come back from the Capitol. Gilly was the one who barely talked to non-victors. He felt she'd understand it. He was tired of dumping all his grief on Mags and Cereus.
The infection would kill her otherwise. We're buying her years of life.
It was unfair, but it was true, and for once Finnick couldn't blame the Capitol. Except for how they kept medicine they had in abundant supply for themselves, the bastards.
He took a deep breath, he hadn't wanted to go to Gilly's angry. It was too late.
"What's wrong, Finn?"
"I can't be her friend when I know she'll die," Finnick exclaimed.
"Annie?"
Finnick nodded, he was glad he didn't have to tell the story with Tyde again. Hearing it had been bad enough. Poor Barnacle. He'd always looked so harmless. Finnick knew everyone had secrets, but Barnacle hadn't seemed one of the dangerous ones and Mags' story made him think Barnacle was just very unlucky. He'd shot a peacekeeper, but in the leg and for Annie, his first friend since his own mother had dumped him in an orphanage.
"She's your friend?" Gilly said in honest confusion. "I thought there was just Marina."
Finnick winced. "Annie was becoming my friend."
She'd been here, making him smile after his parents' death. He belatedly realized she'd been there, on El Cambio, because she'd been forbidden to go near water. Why did she have to die too?
Finnick's expression hardened taking a dangerous edge. "She's tough, I could help train her, with years…"
"No, that's how the other mentors die inside. Her ghost would haunt you forever, cling to a gaping wound in your soul," Gilly chuckled darkly. "Finnick, Mags has the strength to choose them, and train them, for Four, for all of us, she can step away when they die, even if she put them there, and she can come back the next year, just as determined, and do it again." Gilly looked breathless and horrified just at the idea. "But Mags isn't a normal human being."
Finnick bristled. Mags was just fine. "I'd rather try and grieve, than do nothing," he said.
"No, you wouldn't," Gilly said. "You'd pour yourself into a doomed endeavor and join the ranks of morphlings."
Finnick opened his mouth to argue but Gilly's stony look shut him up. He swallowed his pride and despite the sinking feeling in his stomach, the screaming denial, accepted that she may be right.
"Then what do I do?" He said, his voice shaking.
"You do what we all do, you focus on the thousand living, not on the two who are to die. They're not more important, even if you know them, even if they're innocent," Gilly said, her hollow, pitiless tones making Finnick swallow down bile. "You learn about fashion in the Capitol, about anything you can influence, you do your best so that someday, soon, you won't have to see two, twenty-four, innocents walk on stage."
"What's left for me in Four then?" Finnick said, trying to bite the shout building in his voice. "Except Mags, Cereus and friends I see occasionally for old time's sake? I should be in the Capitol, where I'm needed."
If he was good enough, Annie wouldn't have to volunteer. There would be four more Hunger Games before hers. Four years until the 70th. He had to try. Not just to save her, to save them all.
"Don't stay too long there," Gilly warned, "they'll poison your mind."
"I'll take it slow," Finnick promised. He had to find a way to get close to people that mattered.
Year 66, May, the Capitol
He hadn't discussed it with Mags, he couldn't bear to force her to give her permission, to have that on her conscience too. He hadn't discussed it with Cereus or Gilly, or Donna. Glynn was the only one he could envision having that talk with and he didn't even dare sign an avox to call her. He couldn't handle another death.
No, he had to hope he wasn't screwing up.
Finnick stood tall and confident, smiling at the photographers.
"I can't believe I had to buy Cashmere," he announced. "She's just so busy, but I think she's a likable young woman and I want to learn to know her."
His year's earnings, all of it. The Capitol went crazy. He made the headlines. Our most handsome victor has left the nest! Naive friendship or sneaky romance? Will Cashmere and Mags have to fight over Finnick Odair?
The last one had him laugh. Donna wasn't amused.
"What the hell, Finnick?"
"I'm turning sixteen in October," he said, meeting her eyes squarely. "I need to get there prepared."
I can't do things half-way and hope to stay pure. He hoped Marina and the guys would never find out, but if he needed to get naked to save them, then so be it. Glynn was right, he could do it on his terms, he just had to be brave enough and not just wait and hope.
"Fine, but when you've seen Cashmere, we're talking about it," Donna said, jabbing a finger towards his face.
Finnick's jaw tightened, but he nodded. He wasn't foolish enough to think he could handle it all alone. He had to grow beyond embarrassment if he wanted to survive.
"We'll go dine in town," Donna said and Finnick nodded, hoping in town meant Glynn.
His heart skipped a beat when the door opened, revealing the nineteen-year-old victor from One.
"You bought me for a whole week? Naughty boy," Cashmere said with a saucy smile. Her hair fell in ringlets down to her hips and she was slender and shapely, with a short skirt hugging bare legs that didn't end.
Finnick's mouth was dry just from staring at her face, but then he pictured her in the arena. He'd watched parts of her Games the day before, to make sure he didn't forget the person in that perfect body. The memories were like a cold shower.
"I need your help, and I think I could be useful to you," he said. "I figured women may buy you after this to learn about me, but it shouldn't get men interested."
Cashmere gave a grudging nod. "It shouldn't. Any client of mine who wants to be jealous would find another excuse."
Finnick winced. He didn't want to imagine what she'd been through. Knowing that stripped him of all shyness. It'd be insulting, to be prude.
"Want Gloss too?" Cashmere said saucily, and it seemed that whenever she moved more skin flashed at him. Finnick swallowed. Cashmere, running and bloodied, her eyes burning with the desire to live. "We could make the package, he could tell you what women want."
Finnick shook his head. "I thought about it, but I didn't have the money." He swallowed down his pride. "I bought a toy, you can play man."
Cashmere's eyebrows shot upwards, she winced. "Finnick, why the urgency?" she said, and she actually looked slightly uncomfortable. "I can teach you, I agree that I should. I don't mind, but don't you think - "
"If you'd rather just talk, I can find a willing Capitolite," Finnick said immediately. He didn't want to be the guy that made it less rape than the others.
Cashmere laughed. It didn't reach her eyes, but it was gentle enough that he relaxed. "Finnick, don't worry. Sex is a tool."
"That's why I bought you, I have six months to learn to think like that."
Cashmere whistled, her eyes focusing as if she was just starting to see him. "You're methodical in your approach."
"I might as well be an empowered whore," he said, flashing her his angle smile. That genial, flirtatious smile that would fool everyone into thinking he was willing.
This time, when Cashmere laughed, it was deep and throaty. "Oh, I will like you. You do theater as a talent, do you not?"
Finnick nodded.
"Act 1: women," Cashmere said. It was subtle but mesmerizing, her turning her head to the side, raising her shoulder to reveal her slender neck. Her lips parted into a sultry smile. "Scene one, flirting and clothed foreplay, little boy. The act itself is much less important than most men want to believe."
Finnick blushed when he realized he was staring much too avidly. "Do you want some chocolate cake or something first?" He'd seen her at the Tour, but they'd mostly circled each other, watching, saying little, and he couldn't let go of the fact that he barely knew her name.
Cashmere fluttered her eyelashes at him. "Chocolate? You know, you may just be a natural at this foreplay thing."
He glowered, because he could recognize a patronizing comment even beneath a layer of seduction.
A wry smile cracked Cashmere's lips and Finnick knew it was genuine because her eyes were hard again. "Sex is a very powerful weapon for those who can wield it. Don't become jack of all trades, a lover with too many different faces. The men who had me loved to talk, to boast, more than they loved taking me. They don't like it, if the versions don't match, if they don't feel they had me. Of course, each much feel they had more me than the others."
"Who are you then?" Finnick asked curiously, trying not to be too distracted about the way she flicked her hair, and how it fell over her cleavage. Who would he become?
"I was confused at first, but then I decided I liked my men submissive," Cashmere said, twirling the kitchen knife as if she'd love to slice a throat with it. "Nowadays, with almost them all, I'm in complete control. You'd be surprised, how many crave it, those rich, successful men," she said, licking her full lips.
Finnick had never thought he could find lips so… interesting.
"I also need to learn to be turned on by non-sexy woman," Finnick cracked, trying to break the spell she so easily wove on his body. He'd never felt puberty so acutely.
Cashmere scowled. "That's a bit outside my training," she said, flicking the knife one last time to stab the cake with it and cut a thin slice. With that exasperated expression, she almost looked like a real person.
"I prefer when you're not trying," Finnick admitted, a furious blush on his cheeks. "You're really intimidating otherwise."
Cashmere groaned. "Finnick, try not to remind me too much that you're fifteen, it's ethically questionable enough as it is," she said with a long suffering sigh.
A cheeky smile broke Finnick's lips. "It's for the greater good, Cashmere," he said. He couldn't contain it anymore and helplessly grinned at her.
Cashmere's little smile, a golden smile that seemed to give a soft glow to her eyes, made Finnick feel safe, about it been the right decision.
"Rule one," she said softly, almost kindly, "don't feel guilty about enjoying a part or the whole of it. That's just more power to you."
Author's note.
Johanna says to Katniss that Mags was half Finnick's family. It had to happen.
The rating will remain T. I don't write smut, so don't worry/expect it. I'm much more interested in how Finnick found the will to be who he has to be than at portraying what happened to him.
I'm having a lot of fun making Finnick and Annie dance around each other. Finnick said she'd "crawled up on him" and I'm trying to make canon justice.
Please review^^.