Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.
Start from scratch.
Chapter 17 - A cold wind.
No One's POV.
Big chapter today. Lot's of drama.
The next morning, it was Monday and both Tori and Jade had to work. Jade upon waking up found Tori in the kitchen eating breakfast as she normally did. Poking her head in Jade said a slightly awkward sounding hello.
Jade was a bit nervous as she didn't quite know how to act now they were on an official date. That and she was still processing all that had gone on the previous night.
Tori looked up from her frosted flakes with a smile. "Good morning."
Still unsure what to do Jade smiled back. "I'm taking my shower now."
"Ok, I'll see you tonight."
Jade left the room and began her normal daily routine. Later that evening, when Tori came home and the pair started to make dinner, Jade felt awkward again.
Sensing Jade's discomfort, Tori put a hand on Jade's. "Jade relax. Don't feel like you have to hold my hand or be romantic with me right now. We're taking it slow. If you feel it's right, do so. Let's just enjoy each other's company ok. If it makes you feel better, insult me."
That was in fact what Jade was nervous about and Tori's words quickly put her at ease.
"Good, thank you. That and cut the lettuce not mutilate it. Someday you must learn to cut something without making it look Jason Voorhees's cut it up."
Both laughed and quickly went to work. The ate dinner and sat on the couch to watch TV, though they were at different ends. Jade knew she could snuggle up to Tori, but she didn't feel quite right about it. Tori didn't seem to mind and they had a pleasant evening.
The next day was the same, with the exception that Jade moved just a bit closer on the couch to Tori. Jade was getting use to being close and intimate with Tori. The first date was great but at the same time was just a bit overwhelming.
The next night was Tori's turn to plan the date. This time, Tori picked up Jade and brought her flowers. Playing off of Jade's dark nature she brought Jade lilies, which tend to be connected with funerals. Jade enjoyed the gesture.
The next part of the date was dinner at excellent Greek place followed by Tori's special surprise. Tori found a small art-house movie theatre that was having a showing of Alfred Hitchcock's 1960 classic Psycho. For Jade it was quite a thrill as she'd never seen the film on the big screen.
Again if felt right and the pair held hands during the movie and a great that once again ended in short but tender kiss.
The next couple of nights Jade sat right next to Tori on the couch and they semi cuddled. The next date was Saturday and was a trip to the Central park zoo. But a sudden and unexpected cloudburst soaked both women and ruined the rest of their date. After they dried out they cuddled on the couch and watched TV until it was time for Tori to go to work.
Things were going well and Jade was really starting to enjoy her cuddle time/dates with Tori. But one thing, loomed on her mind; Tori's refusal to speak of the party. Jade carried a great deal of guilt for making Tori look like a liar in front of her father and desperately wanted to apologize for it.
The next week at dinner Jade again started to speak of the party and the next day. The effect on the mood was instantly chilling. Tori who was cheerful and open one minute became cold and distant the next. After dinner Tori instead of spending time with Jade, went to her room for the evening.
Jade by now was really sensing something was between them and with each passing day, felt It's presence more and more. After a day or so things returned back to normal and all was well.
Another week and a half passed and the pair had gone on several dates. They were taking it slow with only short kisses and cuddling on the couch.
Again Jade tried to apologize and again Tori clammed up and went cold. That pushed Jade's concern about this to the front of her mind and in the next few days things didn't quite go back to normal.
The second refusal of Tori to open up, caused what seemed to be a cold wind, that passed between them. Jade started to not feel that special feeling anymore and found herself becoming frustrated and alienated. Jade started to sit further away on the couch when they watched TV.
They went on another date and held hands, but the magic of their first date seemed to have vanished.
A chaste kiss ended the date and that left a frustrated Jade alone. The next morning she made no effort to speak with Tori
At work that day, which was Friday, Jade had just sat down on one of the outside patios to eat her lunch when she looked up to see Beck.
Tensing up, she gave him a harsh glare. "What do you want."
Beck was several feet away actually back up a foot. "I just want to talk for a minute. I missed you."
Jade, now stone-faced, gave no reply.
"I told you I was making some real changes." Beck said emotionally, as he held up a small round thing. "I joined AA and quit drinking. Here is my 60 day chip. I had a drinking problem. Not just that I drank too much, but that I can't handle my liquor. It makes me do things I hate. I've stopped, for you. For us."
Jade didn't know how to process this information. It was welcome and unwelcome all at the same time. As she sat there processing it, she could feel a whole flood of old emotions and feelings come pouring back in.
"What do you want?" Said Jade cautiously.
"I need to make amends for what I've done, part of the 12 step program. I want to do that. Maybe as part of it, I'd like you to come to the meeting with me, be my guest. I need to make up for so much. See that I'm serious about this. I miss you , I love you."
Hearing those words, gave Jade's heart an unexpected jolt and she had to stop herself from saying I love you in return.
"I can't promise anything."
"Look, I have a meeting tonight, at the community center on 45th and Mills. Its at 7:30. You can come by yourself. It's very safe, there's always lots of people there and a police precinct up the street. Please, at least let me confess and try to being to make things right. Look, I'll leave you alone now. But please come….."
Beck then turned and walked off, but not before leaving the chip on the table he was standing next too. Curious jade walked over and picked up the small object. It indeed was a 60 day sober chip. Thinking back, Jade couldn't recall a single day without him drinking, though it was only when he drank heavily did his dark side come out.
Her mind a storm of emotions, Jade just didn't know what to do. A few hours later Jade arrived home to an empty apartment. It was Friday and Tori would be going directly from her job at the bank to The Playpen.
Alone she reflected on Beck his seeming changes and her increasing frustration with Tori. Part of her really wanted to go, to see Beck. See if he really changed.
"At least he's being honest."
An hour later, Jade having thought about it, decided to go. She justified it by saying to herself that she could possibly use this to put Beck and that relationship behind her. That maybe without some of her own baggage she could move forward. But of course, that wasn't the only reason.
Jade showed up at the community center just before 7:30 and as Beck had said an Alcoholics anonymous meeting was being held in one of the rooms. Upon seeing her Beck smiled.
"Thank you for coming."
Jade merely scowled. "Ok, I'm here. But I'm not sitting next to you. I'll sit in the back and listen. That's it."
"Fine."
Jade grabbed a horrible cup of coffee and parked herself in the corner of the room far from the group, just as things started. It was a typical AA meeting with various people standing up and telling their stories. Finally Beck got up.
"My name is Beck and I'm an alcoholic."
The rest of the group greeted him and several seemed to be very familiar with him. Beck then went on a tearful speech on how he hurt the woman he loved. He said he beat her and did things he can never forgive himself for. He stated that all he wanted to do was prove to her that he was trying to be the good man she wanted him to be.
Jade listened carefully and she quickly became convinced that he was trying to fix himself. It only stirrued up more feelings inside of her.
When the meeting ended, Beck walked up.
"Thank you for coming. It means lot to me.
Jade nodded. "You're welcome. I see you are trying to quit. I believe you. That's good."
"There's a diner next door with a lot better coffee, can I buy you a cup. At least for your troubles. Just one."
Jade found herself saying yes, before she even knew it. She felt herself slowly falling back into an old and familiar routine, with the old familiar feelings that came with it.
They walked to the diner where they talked rather civilly over some coffee, which Beck paid for. Beck apologized numerous times for his actions and said he was deeply ashamed for each and every one of them. Jade acknowledged his apology, but didn't accept it. Part of her wanted to, however.
After the cup of coffee was done, Jade got up from the table.
"Thanks for the coffee. Keep up the AA stuff."
Beck smiled. "Thanks for coming."
"No problem."
"Can I call you sometime. Just to talk. It's hard not drinking. It may help me."
Jade paused for a moment. "Fine, but only if you really need something."
"Jade, I still love you. I'm doing this for us." Beck said in a pleading voice.
Then the Goth turned and left, before she said or did something she regretted.
That night Jade fell into an uneasy sleep, tossing and turning most of the night. She still wanted to be with Tori, but the old feelings were pulling in the opposite direction. Not to mention she didn't know if she even should tell Tori she met with him. It was all too much for her mind, to rest easily.
She slept in the next morning, as when she finally fell into a sound sleep it was almost 4 in the morning. She could hear Tori get up, shower and eat, but Jade stayed asleep. When she finally got up just after noon, she found the Latina gone.
That didn't worry her as she remembered Tori saying she was going grocery shopping. What she was worried about was what to say to Tori, if anything.
Tori arrived just after 1 pm with 2 bags of groceries and greeted Jade in pleasant but not to warm manner. Jade said hello back in an similar tone and helped Tori put away the groceries.
Once that was done Jade returned to the couch, still debating if she should tell Tori.
"What's this chip?" Tori said as she walked past the end table next to the couch where she kept her keys and phone.
Shit, said Jade mentally as she turned to see Tori examining the chip.
Tori then held up the chip with a confused look. "This is a AA 60 day sober chip. You're not in AA, plus you had a beer just the other night. Who's is it."
Jade looked to the floor for and said in a low voice. "It's Becks."
"What do you mean its Beck's" Said Tori in a sharp tone of voice.
Suddenly not feeling like playing around Jade stood up to face the angry Latina. "Ok, Beck came by the hospital yesterday. He said he joined AA and even gave me the chip to prove it. He invited me to the meeting so he could confess what he did and start to make amends. He wanted me to see he was serious."
Tori's face suddenly began to turn red. "So you just ran off and saw him behind my back!"
"IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!" shouted Jade back. "I thought that maybe by doing this I could put this behind me. Some closure."
"You weren't' going to tell me, weren't you?"
"Of course I was."
By now tempers had quickly flared up and Jade more and more didn't feel like backing down. Judging by the angry look, Jade guessed Tori wasn't either.
"Bullshit" Hissed Tori. "We're supposed to be dating, getting closer and you stab me in the back by hiding shit from me."
Jade advanced on Tori, "Get off your high fucking horse Vega. Why is it that every time I mention the party 3 years ago and the day after you shut down. You're not telling ME something."
Tori's eyes suddenly went cold and she started to walk towards the bedroom. "We're done."
Jade grabbed Tori's wrist. "Don't you dare fucking walk away from me! What are you telling me Vega."
Tori stood there, silently glaring at Jade, refusing to say anything.
"So that's how it works" Yelled Jade. "I'm the one that's supposed to be open for the sake of this relationship but you don't have too. What are you better than me."
"I NEVER SAID THAT!" screamed Tori.
"Then what's the fucking problem. I got raped by a drunken Beck at Hunter Burns graduation party, you helped me and the next day, Beck got to me, he always could get to me. You and your dad showed up to help me file the rape report and I lied. I made you look like a liar in front of your dad. Do you have any idea how badly I feel about that. It's weighed like a stone around my neck ever since and have you once given me the chance to apologize. NO. No you won't let me apologize."
By now Jade could see Tori was probably the most angry and upset she had ever seen the Latina. But Jade felt the need to keep pushing.
"You talk about being open for the sake of our relationship and you hold this above my head. Maybe you want me to feel guilty about it. You like having that stick in my side like a knife. I'M SORRY I MADE YOU LOOK LIKE A LIAR IN FRONT OF YOUR DAD!"
For a moment Tori stood there, stiff like a statue and then promptly exploded in rage. "YOU DON'T GET IT JADE! MY DAD BELIEVED ME. ON THE WAY HOME HE TOLD ME HE STILL BELIEVED ME AND HE KNEW YOU WERE LYING THE ENTIRE TIME. HE'S DEALT WITH SITUATIONS WITH THIS BEFORE. HE KNEW YOU WERE LYING!"
Jade, not expecting that, stepped back as Tori continued her explosive rant.
"He even offered to help me help you by putting me in touch with an expert on abuse he knew at the police department. He told me, that with the right help, I could break his hold over you and you know what I told him!"
Jade who was now withering under Tori's verbal assault squeaked. "What!"
"I TOLD HIM NO! I DIDN'T WANT TO HELP YOU ANYMORE. I WAS SO ANGRY AND JEALOUS THAT YOU WOULD CHOSE THAT RAPIST OVER ME THAT I HATED YOU! I HATED YOU SO MUCH THAT BY THAT POINT I THOGHT YOU DESEVRVED TO GET BEATEN AND RAPED FOR YOUR UTTER STUPIDTY. I JUST WANTED AWAY FROM YOU SO I LEFT TOWN 3 DAYS LATER, SO I'D NEVER BE TEMPTED TO HELP YOU AGAIN. YOU HAD MADE YOUR BED AND I WAS SO ANGRY I WANTED YOU TO FUCKING SLEEP IN IT!"
Jade's face drained of color as her mouth fell open. Stepping back, the Goth Abruptly grabbed her purse, keys and ran out of the apartment.
Tori tried to call for Jade to come back, but she already ran out of the building. In tears Jade ran down the sidewalk. Tori had not only abandoned her 3 years ago but actually felt she deserved the abuse she got. That knowledge not only hurt but felt very much like a stinging betrayal.
She was about 3 blocks down when she heard her phone ring. Figuring it was Tori, she planned on not answering, but looked at the caller Id anyway.
It was Beck.
Feeling betrayed, extremely vulnerable, hurt and upset, Jade answered the phone.
"Hello"
Several hours later.
Ever since Tori had made that decision to leave Jade to Beck and move away, Tori had literally hated herself for it. She had made a rash decision based on feelings of hatred, betrayal and jealousy and by the time she came to regret it, she had already left town. There was now no going back. Each day since Tori had regretted it more, Each day she found herself unable to look at herself in the mirror.
Tori blamed the incidents with Ace Decade, Cat and the loss of her music career, on Karma paying her back for her cruelty. One of the reason she had taken the job at The Playpen was it was a degrading job. Tori took that degrading job as a form of self punishment. 3 years after the incident, Tori had come to literally hate herself.
When Jade showed back up, Tori had closed off emotionally, but deep down wanted to make things right and even possibly be with her. But all along Tori feared this day would come. It was what she had feared most of all. Just the mention of that day after the party, struck Tori with terror. She had hoped somehow she could simply avoid it coming up. But it was a foolish hope and Tori knew it.
Tori was angry that Jade held back and naturally she got mad. Tori was amazed how quickly tempers got heated and Tori simply couldn't hold it in any longer. It all came out in one explosive and hateful rant, causing Jade to flee.
The Latina cried for an hour after Jade left. She thought of calling to apologize. She had wanted nothing more than to make up for what she thought and did, but how could you apologize for wanting someone to get beaten, refusing help for them and abandoning them. She figured Jade wouldn't have answered the phone anyway.
After crying for an hour Tori fell into an exhausted sleep and did so until it was time to get ready for work at The Playpen Jade still hadn't returned, which only made Tori more despondent.
After limping through her shift, which wasn't made easier as her one confidant and friend Barbie had the night off, Tori came home. She had come up with a heartfelt apology for the Goth and planned to give it to Jade, as soon as she came home. Tori planned to say that it was a horrible thing to do and she had deeply regretted it ever since. Tori planned to beg for forgiveness.
Finally arriving home after her shift, Tori took a deep breath and entered the darkened apartment. Not even bothering to turn on the light she walked over to the couch where Jade slept every night.
Tori's heart fell when even in the dim light, she could see it was unoccupied.
Tori ran to the light and flipped it on. What she saw, was heartbreaking. Jade was not only not here, but her bags with all her clothing she kept in the corner were gone. All of her stuff was gone.
Then Tori saw a note on the table and what appeared to be some money sitting next to it. Her hands shaking, Tori picked it up and began to read.
"Tori,
Here is my last months rent. I'm moving back in with Beck. I will mail you the keys for your apartment tomorrow.
Jade"
Like history repeating itself, Tori once again was left twisting in the wind, as Jade ran back to Beck. Utterly devastated by Jade leaving, as Tori knew it was her fault, Tori sank to her knees and began to sob uncontrollably.
A terrible confession by Tori. She was so hurt, angry and Jealous by Jade's going back to Beck after the rape, the day after the party, that she refused her fathers offer of help for Jade. Tori admitted that at the time she felt Jade deserved the abuse she got. A decision that Tori's regretted ever since, but I all came out and Jade went back to Beck, who has quit drinking and seems to want to repair things between them.
What do you people think of Tori's confession? She made a rash decision based on some very negative emotions and now deeply regrets it.
Has Beck changed? or has he?
Please don't be mad at me, more drama to come.