Dearest Father,

I received a letter today from Feynriel that nearly broke my heart. He's not having an easy time with the Dalish. He claims the elders fear him and the younger elves won't accept him. I understand how he feels, that sense of being alone even when surrounded by people. He ended the letter saying I was the only person he could trust; again, my heart breaks. The poor thing can't even turn to his own mother after she tried to have him committed to the circle. I decided to go and see him.

I asked Merrill if she wanted to come along, maybe visit some of her old friends and help Feynriel feel a little less alone. Went to invite Fenris to get him out of his dusty old mansion and Sebastian was there. Apparently those two talk now? Both were willing to take the trip to Sundermount, I think more because they didn't like the idea of me traveling alone with Merrill.

We were ambushed outside the city by some slavers. They demanded I step away from Fenris and allow them to recapture him. Fools, that wasn't going to happen. One look at Sebastian and he nodded, secretly reaching for his bow, and the fight was on. It was unfortunate so many Tevinters had to lose their lives, but I had no intention of letting them take Fenris. He's become someone I can count on, a true friend, and I'd kill a hundred more if it meant keeping him safe from his former master.

As the battle heated up I kept expecting Danarius to show up. That was my biggest fear. But when Fenris questioned the last remaining slaver, we found out Danarius' apprentice Hadriana was the one that was in town. She was hiding in some old caves, and Fenris wanted to go after her immediately.

I couldn't delay, we had to strike quickly before the woman had a chance to flee, or worse find a way to recapture Fenris. The trip to Sundermount had to be delayed. I think Merrill was upset about that, but I didn't see any choice in the matter. Her clan would still be there tomorrow, Hadriana wouldn't be.

I wish now Merrill hadn't come with us. Fenris' anger and hate for mages, blood mages in particular, only grew as we got closer to Hadriana. One of the first rooms we entered had a corpse on the table, drained of blood. Fenris explained he was used for blood magic, and Merrill couldn't believe her eyes. This led to an argument between the two of them when Fenris warned her she was only a step away from killing someone. "Mages always find a way to justify their need for power," he had said. I don't know how Merrill felt about his words, but they still haunt me.

More violence and death around every corner. We rescued a young elf who now resides here at the estate. Her father was killed to fuel Hadriana's power. As she explained to us how her father was bled dry, Sebastian made a comment about how this was just more proof why the Maker turned His back on His children. Do you believe that Father? Is that true? Are we all damned because of magic? How is that fair when we were born with it! I didn't ask for this curse, no mage did, and yet we are constantly punished for it. But I've written about this before. Maybe I'll ask Sebastian to elaborate on his comment next time I see him.

The elf had nowhere else to go and so I offered her a place to stay and a job. Fenris seemed to appreciate that, after I explained to him that I wasn't taking her on as a slave. He knows me better than that, I was surprised he even thought such a thing. I guess he was just on edge because he was so close to confronting someone who had tormented him. I won't hold it against him. I also won't judge him for lying to her either. When we found Hadriana, Fenris had assured her he wouldn't kill her. But he did. And I don't blame him. After what happened with Mother, I don't blame him at all. How can I?

Fenris ended up leaving after saying some pretty hurtful things to me about mages. I agreed with him on everything he said, for all the reasons I stated above. Magic is a curse and mages are dangerous. I know he left me with a lot to think about, and Merrill too. She hadn't said a word as Fenris went on about how all mages should rot, and everything we touch is spoiled. I expected her to say something, but in that moment I think we both felt a bit of guilt for what Fenris has had to deal with, even if we weren't directly involved.

Fenris was waiting for me at the estate when we returned from the caves. He apologized for the things he said, not wishing it to tarnish our friendship. And then he opened up a bit about the hate he still felt for those who had tortured him. I don't imagine you get over something like that quickly. We did find out from Hadriana though that Fenris has a sister. I'm hoping he looks into finding her, at least then maybe he won't be so alone in this world. I can only do so much as a friend, but family can do so much more.

Hawke looked up as a shadow came over the letter she had been writing. She smiled and moved over on the bench to allow Sebastian to sit, which he did. "I thought you returned to the Chantry," she said folding the parchment in her lap.

"Aye, I meant to," Sebastian told her. "I had gone to see Fenris first and he told me he had come to apologize."

Hawke nodded. "He did. I don't blame him for what he said. It's not anything I haven't thought of about myself before, and he has every reason to hate mages."

"He was fairly harsh in his choice of words," Sebastian commented. "But indeed you are right, he is a troubled soul, which is why I am here. I came to ask something of you."

Hawke raised a brow as she studied the young prince. "Oh? I admit I'm curious. What is it?"

Sebastian turned so that he was looking directly at her. "What Fenris did to Hadriana, killing her with such rage as he did, it's not healthy for him. And I'm not blaming you for allowing it to happen, but if anyone could've prevented her death it would have been you."

She hadn't expected that, and Hawke found it difficult to respond to him. "You... you believe I would've spared her life? After what she had done to him? I'm sorry Sebastian, you must think me kinder than I really am." She turned away, ashamed to admit what she said next. "I'm glad she's dead. And I regret that Gascard isn't dead as well."

"He is," Sebastian told her, causing her eyes to widen. "Gascard did not make it to the Gallows."

"Fenris?"

"Aye," Sebastian nodded. "He told me so himself. I am the last person to lecture on revenge, as you pointed out the other day, but Fenris has suffered more than any of us. Should he choose the wrong path and give into his hate and anger..."

"We'll lose him," Hawke finished his thought for him. She couldn't admit the sudden joy she felt at knowing Gascard was dead, but what did that say for her? Instead of telling Fenris it was wrong to kill him and Hadriana, she'd already confirmed to Fenris that she was glad Hadriana was dead. All she wanted to do now was thank him for Gascard, but Sebastian was right. How many more deaths can Fenris cause before he becomes numb to it?

And then there was the deal she had made with Fenris. None of the others knew of it, and now she wondered if it was the wrong thing to do. "Sebastian, I may have created more of a problem than you think," she admitted.

"Oh?"

Hawke sighed. "Would you like to come inside? I fear this will lead to a lengthy discussion."

Nodding, Sebastian stood and offered his hand to her. She accepted, and the two went into the estate. It was a lengthy discussion indeed; Sebastian left as the sun began to rise, and even though he was exhausted, he immediately went to Fenris to confront him on this deal he had made with Hawke. He would make Fenris break this promise to Hawke no matter what the consequences may be.