Emma

I haven't seen Jefferson ever since that night. From the entire month I tried my best to act normal as possible, but it isn't easy. I can't sleep every night, and tend to stay up till dawn. When someone talks to me I hardly listen to them and just shake my head or nod in reply with no words. During the day or night, I go straight to bed while Henry and Killian play around. I never sleep though, I open my eyes for hours and hours until the boys go to bed.

A knock started at my door. I pulled myself up from my bed and sat on the side of it. Killian came in with a tray of food. "Hey. I brought some food for you. Henry and I made some really good macaroni and cheese with some home baked biscuits. Want some?"

I just nodded.

Killian closed the door with his foot and hit the lights on. He walked up to me and sat beside me and placed the tray on my lap. I wasn't hungry earlier but just looking at the plate of food made my stomach growl. I picked up the fork and started eating like I haven't eaten for a whole day.

"Slow down, Emma."

I nodded again and chewed slowly. While I was finishing through my food, Killian didn't leave his eyes off me.

"What?" I refused to look up at his face, and placed my fork down beside the plate.

"You know that's what I should be asking you. What is wrong with you? Ever since you left the Black and White Ball you been acting like a zombie. What's bothering you?"

I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. I just shrugged my shoulders and kept my eyes off his face. "Nothing...I'm just a little depressed, I guess."

"Emma, if there's something bothering you then just tell me. You hardly go out anymore and you just stay locked up in here for days. What is going on with you? You're scaring me, especially Henry. I mean what am I suppose to tell the little guy? That you're just a little depressed?"

I'm sorry Killian. But this isn't something I can tell you right now...I need time before you explode. Just give me that please.

"I'm fine okay. I can't always be myself Killian. For crying out loud, stop concerning about me. I mean I'm still not recovered from what happened back at the diner, and it was a bit overwhelming with the media keeping an eye on me now. So just really stop..." Suddenly, I paused and quickly blocked my mouth with both my hands. My stomach churned and pushed everything that I ate today up to my throat. Killian's eyes widened so wide it looked like they can pop right out from its sockets. He placed a hand on my back and looked desperate for me to tell him what's wrong. Without thinking for another second, I quickly ran to the bathroom and opened the toilet seat on time. My system pumped out everything that was left in my system. I grabbed on to both sides of the toilet seat and unpleasantly just painfully let my raw mouth to release whatever unwanted leftovers my liver can no longer stand.

Killian came in and held my hair up for me. He padded my back a little hard to help my system to pump out faster. It took a while for me to finish. Once I did, I closed the toilet seat. I was felt a little embarrassed for Killian to see that side of me. I unrolled the toilet paper and ripped four squares in a line. I wiped my mouth and crumbled it up and tossed it in the trash can. When I was about to get up, my head felt light headed and my veins are somehow cold and feels like they are tilted back. Killian caught me before I collapsed on the floor. He quickly lifted me up and took me back to my bed.

He covered me with the bed sheets and sat down beside me. "Take it easy, Emma...Are you sick?"

I placed a hand on my forehead, its still throbbing like a fresh bruise. "...I'm not sure. I was fine this morning..Maybe it was something I ate."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I guess I should take your advice about going outside again. I'm getting sicker from trapping myself in here...I'm sure I'll be fine tomorrow though."

"Do you need anything? Your pills? Or perhaps, a glass of wine?"

I shook my head. "Killian, I'm fine. I just need some sleep...You should go downstairs now. Henry is waiting for you."

He leaned down and gave me a light kiss on the forehead. I gave him a light squeeze in the hand right before he picked up the tray and left the room. Once the door came to a close and the room was finally again still and dark, I immediately broke down to a melt down. I still feel like I was thrown in a human size washing machine, but the irritating pain doesn't stop me from jumping out of bed and pacing back and forth madly.

Me throwing up in the middle of the night? I never threw up since I was in the third grade...Oh my gosh, then I'm right after all. The late night appetites, the queasy morning sickness, and the daily cranky behavior...Oh I hate lying! I can't believe I told Killian I'm fine. I'm really not. And I had been behaving too queer that it can no longer be excused as a simple cold or food poisoning.

After having Henry, I'm more familiar with the signs of early pregnancy...But-But I'm not sure if I..I am...Oh gosh I can't even say the word! I can't!