[edit: the ending has been edited.] told you I'd update Wednesday or Thursday. Heh... Just not Tuesday or Wednesday.. last week... Yeah I feel bad. More about that at the end of the chapter. So.. I still don't own Homestuck. I say this truth in fear of an angry orange man with a gun. I also have no Beta and am Very mean to Karkat in this chapter so be prepared for the worst. You have been warned!
To pray in the dark
Karkat had never felt more in danger of being mugged then he had walking down the streets near Kankri's Apartment building.
It had been three weeks since he'd moved in with his brother and on day two he had invested the last of his Christmas money on a can of pepper spray that never came.
Clutching his phone tightly inside his pocket Karkat rounded a street corner walking ahead a few more blocks. Kankri had warned him not to wander in the general area unless he had a set destination in mind. Thankfully the excuse of needing last minute school supplies was all he needed to escape out side for an hour or so.
Unfortunately not knowing the area well, an hour or so turned into a few hours or so. Karkat now found himself unnervingly aware of the darkening sky as he slowly retraced his way back from where he came. A single spiral note book and a box of pencils swung lazily inside the plastic bag dangling from his wrist.
Despite the obvious paranoia clinging to his nerves, Karkat made no move to hasten his pace. Instead he continued at a leisurely stroll, only pausing on occasionally to take in the sight around him. He seemed to revel in the thought of how the once bustling streets had now been reduced to an almost vacant appearance.
Continuing down another vaguely familiar street Karkat was suddenly struck with the growing realization of how accustom he had grown to the ease and comfort of small town living.
Had anyone else voiced this opinion he would of scoffed at the thought, but as of now Karkat couldn't help but grudgingly admit the there was at least some truth to it. Even if he now lived in a different part of it then before, the city didn't feel the same as it did back when he was a kid. It felt too big, cramped, polluted, and down right unnerving. Yeah, that was it. Unsettling as hell, leaving him with an unnerving feeling of constant paranoia.
A sudden shiver raked down his spine with a noticeable jolt. Last nights nightmare suddenly felt renewed in his mind.
The silent echo of his footsteps walking down a dark hall. He'd had the dream before. On multiple occlusion really. It was probably one of the easier ones to deal with at times. Though.. it was in moments like this, when he found himself alone, did he remember how truly terrifying it was.
When you alone and vulnerable, in an unfamiliar setting. Your nerves are already on high, but then you just have to start with the what ifs.
What if I get mugged? What if I can't find my way? What if that guy over there want to kill me? Those damn what ifs.
The dream itself had always felt rather harmless if not stupidly pointless. What truly freaked him out was waking up each morning with the "what if" that the sound of the footsteps in the dream, hadn't been his own.
The sharp piercing sound of a whistle cut through his thoughts and drew his attention a few blocks away.
Leaning against the side of a building a few men were cat calling at a pair of woman presumably walking together for safety.
Karkat could only imagine what vulgarities the men could be saying as the taller of the two woman made an impressive display of American Sign Language and flipped them off, dragging her friend to presumable safety.
Karkat was about take note to head the other direction when he noticed a very familiar building directly across the street from said ass holes.. At this point there was more then enough evidence that life was just out to fuck with him.
Quickly crossing the street, he tired his damned best to ignore how the tall street lamps were flickering to life. As if part of some old black and white movie, setting a suspenseful mood.
Keeping his head down as he approached the apartment building Karkat felt himself brace for the worst. The closer he got the more he wondered if he had read to far into things. They we're probably just some hormonal jerks looking for some pretty lady to fill their sick twisted fantasies.
A feeling of reinsurance flooded threw his chest as he walked up the front steps on the building. Yeah just some perverted men afraid to take up an actual conversation with the opposite sex. There was no way they would even look twice at a some scrawny kid just trying to walk home late.
Feeling even more reassured in his idea Karkat decided to look behind himself one last time to even prove to just how ridiculous he was being.
Turning his head in what should of been a casual motion Karkat glanced across the street, only to snap his head forward and rush inside the building as quick as he could.
Once inside Karkat could hear their laughter through the thin outer walls. Not even bothering to cover his panic he rushed to stairs and played what he saw over in his mind. The street had been silent, he felt scared. They had been grinning, and he felt scared. They were laughing, and he was scared.
Now in an even greater need to find his brothers apartment, the collective noises from other apartments only added to his panicked frenzy. A baby crying, an excited dog barking, a couple fighting, someone's tv up way to loud.. someone laughing.
nerves suddenly to alert for his own good he all but ran to the door of apartment sixty-eight. Karkat fumbled with the key and stumbled inside. Quickly closing and locking the door behind him he then proceeded to slump against the door in an attempt to catch his breath.
Where the hell was he. Pacing back and forth Kankri felt for sure he'd be receiving an "anonymous" letter clearly from Ms. Partwar about his pacing keeping folks awake. Again. Good lord, he needed to calm down.
Glancing at the clock he tried to take a calming breath. Karkat had just gone down to get some last minute supplies for tomorrow, there was literally no reason why it would take him this long. Unless he got lost. A sinking feeling quickly filled Kankri's chest. Oh god he hopped his little brother hadn't gotten to badly lost this late at night. He really should have shown him around himself..
Fiddling with his phone he flipped the old phone open and glanced at the screen. He had already tried calling his brother a while ago, only to receive voice mail. Briefly he considered possibly sending Kurlos a text telling him to keep an eye out by his shop for Karkat. Not that Kurlos knew what Katkat looked like, but he was the only one probably not home by this time, and hopefully could tell that a younger, grumpier version of Kankri was probably the elder Vantas's brother.
Running a hand through his hair Kankri shook his head. "Calm down Kankri, your acting irrational again. He's probably just late." God he couldn't believe he sucked at this guardian thing already. How was he going to be able to look after his brother for four more years if he lost him on the fourth day?
Sighing rather loudly, Kankri tried to collect himself. He honestly hadn't felt this worked up about something since middle school. Then again at least this was over something slightly of greater important then what ever bullshit he had claimed to preach for at the time.
When the sound of the door could be heard a weight instantly felt as if it had been pulled off of his chest. Oh thank god. Walking to the door he made it in time just to see Karkat locking the door behind him. His brother seemed a bit exhausted.. but he should at least say something right? That was something a responsible guardian did right? Well this was probably going to be awkward. Clearing his throat he didn't even have to try hard to give his brother a skeptical once over as the younger turned from the door.
Upon facing Kankri, Karkat's eyes briefly flashed with understanding of the situation. Apparently he hadn't stopped to think of Kankri's reaction to his lateness until now. Karkat's exhausted look somehow doubled making the "responsible" thing of questioning seem almost cruel. Holding up both his hands defensively Karkat sighed, "Look Kankri I can explain-"
Cutting off his younger brother Kankri shook his head, "For both our sake's I'm.." Stone resolve Vantas. Be the adult here.
"Just going to assume you got lost, correct?" So much for a stone resolve. Then again he honestly felt it was a bit too late to start something over coming home a little late.. Sure he had been worried about his brother but giving him a full fledged lecture felt like something Karkat had probably heard enough of in his time already. For peat's sake he barely knew how to be a brother, perhaps he shouldn't rush into this guardian role too fast..
Relief was visible as Karkat's shoulders slightly relaxed. "Yeah.. Sorry I guess I must have just got a bit mixed up with the street names or something."
"Okay then, as long as your home safe," Kankri replied not really sure what to say or do next. Instead he simply watched as Karkat took off his shoes and headed out of the entry way. Glancing down as his brother passed he noticed how tightly Karkat seemed to be clutching his bag of supplies, and couldn't help but call out for his brother before he headed to his room. "And, um Karkat?"
Pausing his stride Karkat glanced back to his brother, "Yeah?"
"Nothing.. Happened while you where out did it? I've been told it's not the safest neighborhood but, nothing happened right?" Kankri asked feeling the tingling sensation of dread building back up in his chest. Nothing.. could have possibly made him late instead of getting lost right?
There was only a brief pause of silence before a tired sigh could be heard, "No Kankri, i'm fine. I just got lost." If there was anymore to be said afterward it went unheard between the two as Karkat left to his room, leaving Kankri left wondering if he had done the right thing not pursuing the topic much after all.
Yeah That ending was sloppy as hell. This whole Chapter feels sloppy, I feel kinda sloppy. Oh well. Rant time! Story first. No this isn't the chapter Karkat gets attacked, don't worry that is still going to be a thing, some stuff just has to happen first. Blah blah blah, here was where I compared my writing style coloring book Blah blah blah here is where I said finishing this chapter was like someone telling me to color a blank dot to dot and telling me its supposed to be the Mona Lisa. Blah, Blah, Blah.
Yeah half of the A/N just got accidentally deleted so I'm just going to cut to the chase. I went to post last week and to my surprise found out I had written this chapter three times, one obviously was the "final"while the others were still along the lines but not quite there. The only problem was that the chapter was only half done and I had no idea what had been running through my mind the day I wrote it. I tried looking at the other two for an idea but they where noticeably different in how I wrote the chapter. I tried to do this chapter justice and give it a good ending, but in the end I BS'd it out of frustration. Kinda how like I'm doing this rant. To sum up everything from my original rant, writing a New chapter is easy. Catching a train of thought once its left the station is a bitch, aaaand that's pretty much it.
So yeah this is the last of my pre-written chapters so all blame for any shitty chapters in the future goes to me. To everyone who reviewed last chapter I send thanks and all the digital hearts you can take. Feel free to favorite, follow, and review with commentary, constructive criticism, or long rants about some problems you've had while trying to write something. The next update will be before Carlos returns home to Night Vale.
[edit: this chapter has been edited because this chapter was originally too rushed and not exactly what i wanted. So i finally fixed it and am feeling much better about it. Not quite the most detailed Kankri pov but i'm hopping the next chapter more then makes up for it. I apologize to everyone who had to read that previous chapter ending, that honestly was all over the place.]