When Hawke walked into the mansion, she took a moment at the door to try and calm herself. Her anger was still dangerously close to the surface, and if she didn't get it under control, she feared the damage that may be done to their friendship.
Just who did he think he is, involving himself in her personal affairs? Yes Fenris was a good friend, a dear friend, the brother she had been missing while Carver was away, but he had no right to speak with Sebastian about her. Hawke was furious with him, and while marching over here to confront him seemed like a good idea at the time, now she wasn't so sure.
Throughout their friendship Fenris has always looked out for her. Regardless of the fact that she was a mage, he took care of her. The day she approached him and asked him to kill her should she become possessed, he did in fact struggle with the decision for a while. In the end he admitted he had more respect for her because she wasn't blind to the possibility that it may happen, unlike Merrill. He agreed to give her peace of mind, and because he felt it was a worthy request.
Even so, having control over her life literally should the moment arise did not mean he could control every other aspect of her life.
She considered leaving, but Fenris called to her from the top of the stairs. "I've been expecting you," he said before disappearing into his room again. Taking a deep breath, Hawke slowly made her way to him, clenching her fists to release some rage.
From the looks of things, Fenris was having a one-man party. The long table was covered with burning candles and random parchments, but in front of Fenris lay three empty wine bottles. He held a fourth to his lips, consuming a large swig as she entered the room. She tried to recall ever seeing him drink this much alcohol, and to her knowledge he hadn't. Games at the Hanged Man he'd have one or two drinks, but this was slightly more than one or two.
"Last bottle of the Aggregio," Fenris said, holding it up for her. "I've been saving it for a special occasion."
Hawke eyed the bottle for a second, and then decided perhaps some wine would be best to calm her nerves. Helping herself to a sip she asked, "And what's that?"
"The anniversary of my escape!" He exclaimed, taking the bottle back from her to indulge some more.
This was a topic they had barely touched on when Hadriana died, so when Fenris offered to tell her the story, suddenly all of her anger disappeared. He had spent countless nights listening to her talk, her struggles and concerns, but rarely did he open up to her. She sat back in the chair and settled in as he began to tell his story.
Dearest Father,
I think I understand now why Fenris and I are so close. We both share demons from our past that haunt us to this day. Although I had gone there to confront him on whatever it was he told Sebastian, I left his home with a heavy heart, for I now know the burdens he carries with him. They are no different from my own. Well, I was never a slave, but we both have regrets over lives we have taken in the past.
Hearing about his time with Danarius was difficult. I can not even begin to imagine what life would be like as a slave. To only concern yourself with pleasing the person who owned you, surviving by just trying to get through the next hour? I admire him for all he has endured, to be able to even function in this world after going through something like that.
I admit Sebastian's words echoed in my mind. That we need to be careful with Fenris and how he could take a darker path if we allow it. After listening to him tonight I agree, we should do everything within our power to free him from Danarius once and for all and try to lighten some of this hate he holds inside him. I wonder if having his memories back would help with that or make it worse? What if he was a hateful person before he became a slave?
Maybe he needs a second chance to forgive himself. He says he never truly lived until he was with these fog warriors. That they were bold, strong, and free with their affections... that's similar to our group, some more freer with their affections than others! But we do fight for our friends and for what's right, at least we try to. So maybe he can find that sense of peace again with us if he continues to stay with us. I think he fears he would turn on us too if Danarius had returned and told him to do so, but I don't think so. I have faith in the bonds we've created that he wouldn't. He may not believe that, but I do. Well, at least he wouldn't kill me, I don't know about Anders...
I think I will encourage him to find his sister. Maybe she can help him somewhere where I can't. As close as some of us are with each other, there's nothing closer than family. If he could just talk to her, get to know what he was like before Danarius, maybe things would be better.
As for whatever he said to Sebastian, I guess I'll have to let that go for now. I'm sure whatever Fenris said he meant it in the spirit of being protective, so I'll try to remember that before I go storming over there again to take his head off. He really is a good friend, I am lucky to have him in my life.