Chapter: 18

Title: If It Means A Lot To You

Disclaimer: Tried paying for KH with my soul; still don't own it.

After we finished our smokes, Axel draped his arm around me and I snuggled up to him.

"What are you thinking off, Axel?" Looking up at Axel through my bangs, he kissed my head.

"Honestly?" I nodded and he rolled his head back, looking at the ceiling and sighed profoundly. I've never seen Axle look so serious before. "I don't want you to go back to your dorm." There wasn't any emotion in his tone and it made me sit up on my knees.

"I know, I wouldn't want me to leave either," I half joked, trying to get some kind of Axel back. And I succeeded. The giant scooped me up in his arms and sat me on his lap, nuzzling his nose into my neck getting little giggles out of me. Axel really did make me happy.

But the playfulness left and he got a little stiff under me. "Vanitas will be there, waiting. Fucking creep." It scared me a little the way he spat it out, but I leaned my head under his chin and he embraced me lightly.

"Well," I starting, "I could always stay here for the week right?" Axel smiled and looked down at me. "It'll just be like we're temporary roommates." He perked up and I felt like I succeeded at something. I was feeling bubbly and rather please with myself, but then Axels demeanour changed. My belly started to turn, completely forgetting about the alcohol consumption from earlier, I crawled off Axel and headed towards his shower. After stripping, I just turned it on and laid on the shower floor, back down. A few moments later, Axel brought me in a Panadol and cold class of water. I thanked him and he left once again. Closing my eyes I felt more settled and rather embarrassed that I couldn't hold my liquor, but id only drank a hand full of times, then all of a sudden, the soft and sweet sound of guitar glided into the bathroom and I recognised the song, and giggled a little to myself.

"Today is gonna be the day that they gonna throw it back to you;

By now, you should have somehow realised what you gotta do"

I turned the shower off and wrapped up in a bath robe Axel had out for me and I walked out with wide eyes, searching where the beautiful noise was coming from. Axel was singing it slower and dragging out the notes a little, but the way rung out… It sent an army of shivers throughout my body. He was sitting on his bed and had his eyes closed smiling.

"And all the roads we have to walk are winding

And all the lights that lead us there are blinding"

His fingers moved like lighting when he played the riffed and I couldn't stop starting; it was amazing. I walked over towards him, slowly, not wanting to disrupt him. He was raising and lowering his eye brows passionately and the emotion he was projecting made me near cry. It felt so personal and I knew I was right; he was singing it to me and I loved it.

Axel opened his eyes and looked at me with half lidded eyes and the sweetest smile id seen. His voice become a little louder as he looked right at me; "Maybe-ee, youre gonna be the one who saves me-eeeee and after all-ll your my wonder wall-ll." He finished the song with the end rifts and let the last note ring out and when it went quiet, I couldn't move. I was mesmerized.

"I haven't played for a while," Axel started as he place his guitar back on the stand next to his bed. How hadn't I noticed that before? "But the other day when I was at your place and it came on… I thought about that moment, between you and I. When I got back, I picked her up, and I played. It'd been years." He smiled and looked over at me, I crawled over to him on the bed, my robe opening a little.

"I like it. Now it's your turn to promise me something." Axel covered my back up and placed me between his legs and pulled the doona over me.

"Anything."

"Promise me you'll play for me again?" I looked up at him and felt like a pleading child. He kissed my head and whispered warmly; "Of course."

"And one more thing Axel," Moving out from under his head, I looked at him nervously in the eye. I felt a little dazed and lost. Those emerald eyes looked right through me; there was no way I was ever going to get away with lying or keeping things from him. The thought was both comforting and daunting. "I know I already said it tonight, but," I seized a deep breath and collected my thoughts orderly. When I felt done, I asked; "Would you like to me boyfriend?"

I felt nervous and a little silly cause we pretty much already where but I felt as though it needed to be established. My heart was pounding and the sick feeling was coming back a little but only at the thought of rejection. I had closed my eyes after he hadn't replied as quickly as I thought he would have, but seconds after, I felt his hands on either side of my face and he tilted my face towards his.

"Most definitely yes." Axel brushed his lips over mine and I boldly bite his lip lightly and it surprised us both at my experimenting. He nipped back and then rubbed my nose against his before carefully moving around from me. Watching him move to the bathroom, I heard him brush his teeth and he walked out combing his hair backwards into a ponytail. I giggled a little having not seen him with his hair up; his little upside down fringe and bangs staying normal and overly spikey.

"What? I can't go to bed with this fiery mane down. Do you know who hard it is to brush in the morning? And don't get me started on bed hair." Axel turned the lights off jumped back into bed, sitting how he was beforehand and turned off the bedside lamp and I snuggled into him. He was so warm and soft, considering his torso. I fell asleep with thoughts of Axel and what this means, now that they were dating… But that's something partners figured out together, right?

I woke up the next morning with my arm lazily thrown over Axel's chest. I stirred next to the lightly snoring boy and squinted my eyes as they adjusted to the beaming light. Peering through the window, I saw that it was a beautiful day and decided that I wanted to go out and do something. What exactly? Yea, I duno, but for the moment, I wanted to enjoy Axel's warmth. As I snuggled into his chest, he rolled over and wrapped me up in his long arms. As content as I was, there was the slightest bit of guilt in the back of my mind… Did last night really happen? What if my parents find out? Being cut of mid thought, I felt a slight bit of pressure being applied to my head from Axel's kiss and he held me tighter.

"Good morning, love," A pet name? Already? Do I use it or…? "Ugh, stop thinking so much, I can practically hear it." Axel chuckled and tossed a pillow over both our heads. His sleepy eyes looked at my face looking for something, what, I wasn't sure if.

"Good morning." I said through the pillow beneath us. The sleepy head just smiled and drifted off back to sleep and I had no idea what to do. So I did the dick thing; I crawled out from under him and looked for my clothes. Once I got dressed, I left a note on the bedside table with my mobile number and apologised. I just didn't know what else to do. A rush of cold air blew into the dorm, making the older boy cloak himself within the blankets and roll over as I hurried out to start my walk of shame.

My pace was at speed walk the whole way, ashamed of what I was doing but as soon as I got back, the warmth of inside welcomed me… And so did he.

"Ahh, good morning. Lose your V's?" Vanitas jumped up from his bed and walked over towards me. He's just gotten out of the shower and had a towel on and yes, it made me extremely uncomfortable.

"Can you not? Did you leave any hot water at least?" I asked as I walked past him and heading to my dresser and pulled out a fresh pair of jeans, a black batman tee, new underwear and red skivvy. Obviously not getting any hints, Vanitas pressed on.

"I'm guessing you didn't from how you're so uptight, but don't worry, I can fix it." He reached to undo the towel around his waist and I just bolted towards the shower, slamming the door behind me and locking it. "Be careful in there! I don't think I cleaned up!" I heard him laughing after yelling through the door. What was going on? All of this was crazy and way too much going on. My hands cupped my head and I allowed myself to slide down the door and I just sat there for a little bit.

My phone went off and broke all quite I had.

Unknown [6.30am]: Hey it's Axel; Shit… Just texting so you have my number… Hope you have a good day :)

He wasn't mad? Now I was confused; weren't people meant to – I just stood up and was so unsure about anything that I didn't reply. I simple stood up, saved his number and undressed myself. The mirror permitted me to see the love bites from last night and I remember the warmth of his breath… His hands trailing over me and his mouth… I stopped my thoughts but it was already too late and I saw that my hand had moved accordingly. Giving in, I turned on the show and laid on the floor once it heated up enough and stared up at the floor… remembering. Between the warmth of the water on my torso and the pleasure I was admitting myself, I felt content with the situation but I knew it would disappear once I stopped.

I opened my legs a little and traced the same trail Axels hand had last night and I sent small shocks of pleasure through my body and a lowed a small, inaudible moan to leave my mouth. My breathing starting become short and quick as I was close, my hand was now moving faster and just as last night, I bucked my hips and was a little disappointed when it wasn't met with the feeling of a soft wall. But none the less, I came and was glad I was in the shower, as the water had washed me clean before it end reached my skin. My member was twitching as I let it go and let the warm substance spill out and I laid there looking at the ceiling. Well, that was a little inappropriate?

Ugh, why does this need to be complicated? Does Axel really do this to me? Was I really thinking of another boy when I did that? The guilt set back in and I didn't know what was worse; the guilt of sinning or the guilt of what I did to Axel? I pulled myself up and gave myself a quick wash down and blamed the cold for my perversion and got dressed. While I was brushing my teeth and gave my hair a scruff with the towel, I dreaded the thought of staying in my own dorm and decided to get out and go do some study. Maybe that would be best?

A/N: So a big thankyou to CloudStrife1028 for being my first follower AND favouriter! Yay XD I was so stocked when I saw that and I've finally hit 400 veiws :D it's so exciting watching the number grow a little each day ^-^ Thankyou everyone, this is so great XD